


Forbidden Desire

by RisingSun



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band), Lee Junki (actor)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-08 01:11:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 91,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11635839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RisingSun/pseuds/RisingSun
Summary: ...One fight started another and they ended up as worst enemies. Ten years passed and now, in high school, they were trying to ignore each other as much as possible.... But what will happen when a new person enters their lives and mess up with all the relationships that were developed in the past ten years?...





	1. Prologue

Flashback (10 years ago)  
  
  
"Junsu, are you okay?" Yoochun asked kneeling down next to his little brother and checking his bleeding knee.  
  
Junsu continued to cry silently, but nodded a little bit, then leaned on Yoochun as he struggled to get up. Yoochun helped him and then glared at the two boys standing in front of them.  
  
"Junsu, are you okay?" the taller boy imitated Yoochun in a girly voice, then laughed glancing at his friend.  
  
The other boy remained serious as he glared back at Yoochun, then smirked a little bit. "Come on Yunho, those babies learned their lesson." He said and turned his back, starting to walk away. Yunho smirked one last time and followed close behind.  
  
"Yah! JaeJoong! You're gonna pay for this!" Yoochun yelled after them, staring at their back for a moment before turning back to Junsu. "Come on..." he said silently as he put his hand around Junsu's waist and started walking in the opposite direction.  
  
  
Flashback (5 years ago)  
  
  
"JaeJoong, did you do your homework?" Junki asked coming out of the kitchen and looking at the boy sitting in the living room and watching tv.  
  
"None of your business." The boy replied shortly not even looking at Junki.  
  
"Fine. Wait till appa comes home..." The older boy said and looked at the other boy walking into the room. "Oh, hi Yunho." He greeted him and went out of the room.  
  
Jung Yunho was like a part of the family. Him and JaeJoong have been inseparable since they were 3 years old. The boy practically lived with Kim family.  
  
"Hey, what's up?" JaeJoong asked glancing away from the tv and looking at his best friend. He widened his eyes noticing Yunho's bruised face. "What happened to you?"  
  
"Well, nothing really... I ran into Park Yoochun." He said shrugging.  
  
"And you let that bit.ch do that to you?" he gasped.  
  
"Don't worry, he looks a lot worse then me." Yunho said smirking. "Wanna go to the arcade?"  
  
  
Flashback (3 months ago)  
  
  
"Yunho oppa!!!"  
  
"JaeJoong oppa!!!"  
  
"Wait for me!"  
  
Bunch of crazy girls surrounded the two boys as they tried to get to their classroom.  
  
"Hey! Wanna go out tonight?" Yunho asked one of them and the poor girl practically fainted as the rest gave her cold glares. JaeJoong smirked and shook his head a little bit.  
  
Walking into the classroom Yunho rolled his eyes looking at the other group of the girls surrounding his and JaeJoong's rivals, Park Yoochun and Park Junsu.  
  
"Yoochunnie, this is for you." One of the girls smiled broadly as she handed a small box with candies to Yoochun. Yoochun smiled back. "Thanks, you didn't have to..." he said a bit shyly looking back at the girl. He then glanced at Junsu, but the boy was looking somewhere else. Following his gaze he finally spotted the two boys. Of course, how couldn't he notice them earlier? Afterall, a bunch of girls was following them and screaming. He made eye contact with JaeJoong and his face darkened instantly.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
Through the years, the relationship between the four of them just got worse. JaeJoong and Yunho couldn't stand Park brothers, as they called them, and vice versa. The reason was long time forgotten, in fact it was a simple misunderstanding during their childhood games. One fight started another and they ended up as worst enemies. Ten years passed and now, in high school, they were trying to ignore each other as much as possible. All four of them were popular, but girls following them around divided into two crowds as well. It looked like the whole school devided into two crowds - Park followers and Kim/Jung followers. But what will happen when a new person enters their lives and mess up with all the relationships that were developed in the past ten years?


	2. Chapter 2

Flashback  
  
"Umma... yeah... yeah, I got it... tomorrow?" Junsu asked walking into the kitchen and then nodded at his mother on the other side of the line, forgotting that she couldn't see him. "You know Yoochun won't be here... I thought he'll come in like two weeks." He said a bit surprised. "Yeah, okay..." he nodded again. "Love ya too, say hi to appa." Smiling, he finished the conversation and put the phone down. Leaning against the counter he sighed. "Stupid Yoochun." He muttered under his breath and started washing the dishes.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
"Out of all days he decided to visit nuna today. God…" Junsu said to himself as he rushed to the airport. He was already late and he knew his parents would kill him if they found out. But it wasn't his fault that traffic was terrible.  
  
Walking further into the airport he looked around. "Flight from New York to Seoul..." he muttered and shook his head lightly, of course the plane landed... half an hour ago.  
  
"Junsu?" the male voice asked and Junsu turned around, a bit startled.  
  
"Changmin?"  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
Where is he? He knows that I have stuff to do later, how can he be so irresponsible? Sometimes I wonder how we ended up being brothers. Oh right, we're step brothers. I hope he'll come alone. I don't really want to see Yunho now... or ever. Oh there he goes. Crap.  
  
"Junki!" JaeJoong called me. Of course, Yunho was right behind him. Why does he have to follow him everywhere? Are they like attached to each others hip or something?  
  
"You're late. Again." I replied looking at him, then glanced at Yunho. He looked like he was extremely bored and annoyed that I took away his precious time. Well, guess what Yunho? You didn't have to come. I would be much happier if you didn't.  
  
"No, I'm not, you're early... as usual." My little dongsaeng replied again. This conversation doesn’t lead us anywhere. As usual. I swear it's pointless arguing with that stubborn brat. And to think I was the one who spoiled him.  
  
"Whatever." I said finally rolling my eyes and turned around, walking away. "Are you coming?" I asked glancing back at them.  
  
"What did you want anyway?" he asked annoyed. Yunho still didn't say a word. I guess it's better, maybe it'll make me forget he's here.  
  
"Mom and dad said we have to attend this stupid party next week, so we have to buy you a suit." I said simply. I still feel like I'm his babysitter. He's 17 dam.nit. Our parents are retarded sometimes.  
  
"You're kidding me." He said stopping again and making me look at him. "I can do it myself. Besides, I don't need it. Why do I have to go? And why do we have to dress formally?" he started asking pointless questions. He knew perfectly well that it's not something we could argue about. It was just something we had to do.  
  
"Will you shut up and just follow me? I don't have all day. Dad said to do it, so we're doing it. Stop complaining." I cut him off shortly and then looked at Yunho. What happened to him? I never saw him this quiet before. God, stop looking at him Junki. You're a fool for falling for him in the first place.  
  
I turned around again and finally walked into the store. I saw them hesitate. "Get your ass in here." I hissed and turned to the girl who was working there, flashing her a smile. "Hi. We're looking for a suit for him." I motioned to JaeJoong. I swear the girl's jaw dropped as she looked at the two of them. I continued smiling despite the fact that I felt slightly sick. That's why I hated walking around with those two. They were attracting too much attention wherever we went. And to think I'm the kingka in our school. I look pathetic compared to them. Oh, who cares. "Suit... him..." I repeated and the girl finally blinked and looked back at me.  
  
"Of course, this way please." She said quickly and we followed her. Yunho turned to the other girl and started flirting with her, while I went to choose the suit for JaeJoong. I sighed. This is gonna be a long day.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
"What?" I practically yelled into the phone. "Sorry." I apologized quickly, I didn't mean to make Junsu deaf. "He's already there? Why didn't you tell me he's coming today?" I asked. Oh right, he did. Well, he should learn not to speak while I'm half awake. "I was sleeping Junsu. You know how much beauty sleep is important to me." Ooops, did I just say that outloud? "Okay, so, you came home now... yeah, I'm coming back tomorrow... so, umm, what's he like?" What? I wanna know who I'm gonna live with from now on. It's bad enough our parents sent an intruder to our house. "A nerd? You gotta be kidding me..." I shook my head and closed my eyes. Great, just great. "Okay, be nice to him, feed him and all... you know... yeah, I know you're not a baby... anymore." Yeah, right. "Nuna sais hi. I have to go." I said and finally hung up.  
  
Yes, our parents sent us a stranger. Appearently, his parents and our parents are best friends. And their little boy, that Shim Changmin or whatever his name is, decided to move to Korea, learn his native language a bit better, finish school here, make our lives miserable. Now I'm curious to meet this kid. According to Junsu he's everything I expected him not to be. A nerd with thick glasses and abnormal love for books and studying. Just not cool. But then again, Junsu can exaggerate. Let's hope that's the case now. If it's not, then I can always pretend like I don't know him in school. Yeah, I might be mean, but hey, I don't want my reputation ruined. Knowing Junsu he'll just ruin it for me. That little brother of mine just cannot be a bad, mean person. He'll probably become best friends with that Changmin or something along those lines. And then... I'm scre.wed.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
On the way home I kept glancing at Changmin. He seems like a nice guy, just a bit quiet and... nerdy. Yeah, his style is a bit weird, maybe I should help him with that. I looked at him again, he must feel uncomfortable with me examining him. I smiled.  
  
"Umm... Sorry for being late, traffic is terrible today. Yoochun couldn't come, he's visiting our cousin, umma didn't tell me you're coming earlier." I said trying to break the silence.  
  
"It's okay." He replied and smiled. Woah, he has a nice smile. There is hope for him. I should make him a makeover or something.  
  
"You must be tired. We're gonna go straight home and I'll make a dinner and you can get some rest." I added. It feels weird talking to him. It's like I'm doing all the talking while he's just staring at the window and sais nothing. I don't like talking, I'm usually the quiet one. Well, not exactly the quiet one, more like... the shy one. But I can talk. Surprisingly, more then this dude here.  
  
"Yeah, that's cool." He replied shortly again. Okay, now I kind of ran out of things we can talk about. Or not.  
  
"How old are you Changmin?" I asked. And to think I'll be alone with this guy until tomorrow. I have to make a list of questions or things to do or something tonight.  
  
"I'm 16." Another short reply. I smiled.  
  
"Really? Me too." I said happily. "Yoochun is 17 and we go to the same class. I hope you'll be in our class too." Okay, now I sound like some of those hyper fangirls who follow us around all the time. Yoochun would be proud of me. Not.  
  
"Yeah, I hope so too." He said smiling again.  
  
We reached our home. I pulled into the parking lot and stepped out of the car. Getting Changmin's bags I walked into the house and closed the door once Changmin was inside. I put the bags down and smiled.  
  
"Welcome." I said simply. I saw him looking around in awe. Yeah, we had a big beautiful house. A little too big for just two, or now three of us. But since our parents are living in USA now we have it all for ourselves. I gave him a little tour. I could tell he liked it.  
  
"Your house is beautiful." He said smiling as I finished showing him the rooms downstairs. As we went out of the living room he turned to me again. "It actually reminds me of my house in USA." He added and I smiled.  
  
"Well, I'm glad that's the case. Maybe it'll make you feel more comfortable and at home." I said politely and started walking upstairs. "Come, I'll show you your room now." I added.  
  
First room left was Yoochun's. We just peeked in. "Of course, it's in mess." I said sighing. "It's usually in better state then this, but my hyung is a pig sometimes." I joked. Yoochun was usually a neat person, but he could be lazy bit.ch. Especially when he's sleepy. Which is usually always. He'd get up and leave the mess behind, then come back later and clean it, making it look like no one lives there. Pretty amazing.  
  
We stepped out of it and I moved to the room next to it. My room. I made sure to clean it before I went to pick up Changmin. "What a change ha?" I joked again. I didn't have a lot of furniture, just some basic stuff. Bed, desk, computer, tv, shelf with books. Plain and simple – I liked it that way. Unlike Yoochun's room which was painted blue, mine room was in green shades.  
  
Exiting it, I finally entered the room across from Yoochun's. Changmin's new room. It was slightly bigger then mine and looked more like Yoochun's actually. It was also in blue shades, just a lot lighter then Yoochun's, it was almost white. I always liked this room, it was full of light, since it had big windows and it was on the east side of the house, sunrise was always nice seen here, while you could watch sunset from Yoochun's window. Mine too, but the angle was always better from Yoochun's room, weird, yeah.  
  
I smiled at Changmin. "This is your room." I said motioning nowhere in particular. All the stuff here were practically new since they were rarely used. This room was guest room. Until now.  
  
Changmin smiled broadly. "I love it." He said smiling and went to sit down on his bed.  
  
"I'm glad." I replied. "Okay, I'm gonna make a dinner and you can take a shower or something. You have your own bathroom. We all do." I said pointing to the door on the other side of the room. He nodded and I went back downstairs and into the kitchen. I like this guy, I think we'll become a great friends. Once I work on his style a little bit and make him get rid of those horrible glasses. I'm not so sure about Yoochun though.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
We finally went out of that stupid store. JaeJoong's hyung is such a pain in the @ss. Sometimes. I actually didn't want to come, but Jae made me. I guess he didn't want to meet with JunKi alone in the mall. Yes, that mall can be a scary place sometimes. When you visit it with JunKi, to be more precise. I don't know what's wrong with him. He kept looking at me like I'm a third wheel. Which I was. But it was more then that. Like he hates me being there. And not just that, he would look away every time I noticed he's looking at me. If he was a girl I would think... god what am I saying? That's disgusting.  
  
Anyway, it wasn't like I didn't have fun. That girl was kind of cute. Way out of my legue, but still, it was better then choosing suit for Jae. Poor Jae. Although, I think he actually enjoyed it. He can be such a girl when it comes to clothes. He didn't want to admit it in front of Junki, but both his hyung and I know it.  
  
Now we're finally on our way to the club. We stopped to Jae's place and had a dinner. I have to admit that Junki is the best when it comes to cooking. He fed me too many times in the past couple of years. I wonder what changed between us. He just became so cold. We used to be close, to him I was like Jae, no difference. His little dongsaeng. He barely looks at me now. I never say a thing, but I feel like losing my hyung. I should stop thinking about it, it's probably nothing.  
  
"You haven't said a word the whole day." Jae interrupted my thoughts. I looked at him.  
  
"Huh? Oh no, sorry, I'm just... thinking about something." I replied.  
  
"Oh really? A girl?" he asked raising his eyebrow.  
  
"Ha, like there is a girl that can mess with my mind." I replied cockily. Yeah, I am a cocky jerk. According to other people. But I admit it, I'm a player and I don't really care about anyone. I'm just having fun. I still haven't met a girl that managed to make me want to know her better, to spend more time with her or be a more then a one night stand.  
  
"True. That's why I think you're acting weird today." Jae kept bugging me. "Are you sick?" he asked suddenly. I couldn't tell if he was joking or was seriously worried.  
  
"It's nothing..." I said quietly, but then changed my mind. Junki is his brother after all. And JaeJoong is the closest person I have. My best friend, my brother. The person I confide the most and can talk about everything to. "Have you noticed Junki hyung acting weird today?" I asked.  
  
JaeJoong looked at me surprised. "Hyung? I... no, I don't think so." He said thinking about it for a moment. "Why? You have?"  
  
"Well... he seems pis.sed off or something. I actually have the feeling he's mad at me for some reason." I said. I can tell him everything. Nothing weird is going on anyway. At least nothing that I know of.  
  
JaeJoong waved his hand and smirked. "Nah, I'm sure it's nothing. I haven't noticed it. Plus, hyung is acting all weird and constantly pis.sed off. I think he's mad at the whole world. I don't really want to mess with him, so we don't really communicate much lately." He replied.  
  
I nodded and shrugged a bit deciding to drop it. As we approached the club I put on my sexy mask. Flirty smile, cool appearance. I glanced down at myself checking out my outfit. I'm not conceited, but hey, look at me! I'm effing hot! Everybody move! Jung Yunho's in the house!  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
Those girls are really annoying. I can't understand how can Yunho act like he enjoys all that attention. Oh well, maybe he does. I kind of enjoy it too, the attention, but they are too... slut.ty/bitc.hy like. And that I can't stand. Come on, I know I'm beautiful and sexy and extremely good looking from head to toe. But give me a break.  
  
I watched Yunho moving around the crowd, while I decided to stand next to a bar, with a bottle of soju in my hand. Basically every night is the same, Yunho rules the dance floor and I rule the bar area. But in the end of the night Yunho usually picks some girl and I just go home. Those girls disgust me.  
  
"Hey!" I turned to bartender. "Another bottle please." I said. Yeah, I'm getting drunk, so what? That's just something I do. Makes me forget about those bitc.hes surrounding me. And what's more important, makes me forget about her.  
  
"Hey sexy, wanna dance?" one of them approached me. Oh just great.  
  
"Not with you." I answered rudely. I don't give a damn. Oh wow, look at her, she actually looks like she's gonna cry. Stupid sl.ut. "I'll see ya at school tomorrow babe." I yelled mockingly and turned back to my soju. Drowning bitterness. As usual.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
I stepped out of the shower and into my room. My new room. I love it. I walked over to the window and opened it, breathing in fresh air. I think I'll love it here. Seoul is waiting for me. It'll change my life. I can feel it.


	3. Chapter 3

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Once I got dressed I went downstairs. Only to find Junsu finishing dinner. I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the wall watching him.  
  
"So, you're the one who rules the kitchen here, or something?" I asked after a couple of moments of silence. I must've startled him, since he quickly turned around, jumping a bit in the process.  
  
"You did it again." He laughed and then nodded. "Yeah, usually I'm the one that cooks. Yoochun is not much of a cooking type although he can make some basic stuff. Like really basic." He said smiling. "Besides, he doesn't need to learn with me around."  
  
I nodded not really knowing what else to say. I've never been known for my social abilities, actually, people always put me into nerds, people in love with books, the ones with brain and awesome grades. People that had a brilliant future, but miserable high school days, loners and outcasts. Unpopular people. It was probably my fault, I should've fought for better status and friends. In the end it didn't bother me. The label 'nerd' didn't mean a thing to me. But the fact that I didn't have many friends, and by 'many' I mean none, that was just sad. No, I wasn't drowning in self pity. I always had my ways to compensate all those things people my age used to do while I... well, didn't. Let's just say that I worked on myself. I worked to become better then everyone else. At one thing. Using my brain.  
  
The day I decided to come back to Korea was the day I started to completely change my life. Turn it upside down and forget everything I used to be. I wasn't sure how I'm gonna do it, but I was firm in my decision. My parents were surprised, but pleased. They wanted me to learn my native language better and get to know Korean culture along the way. Talking about returning to my roots or something along those lines. It didn't take much to persuade them into sending me here. Especially since their best friends' sons were here, I got myself a place to live. Now the only thing that worried me were those guys. I had no idea what to expect and I was extremely nervous on the way here, for the first time wondering if I'm doing the right thing. The moment I saw Junsu I knew I wasn't wrong. The moment I saw my new house I knew I came home.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Changmin surprised me again. That guy moves so smoothly, like a cat. No one can hear him or sense his presence. It's actually kind of scary. But as I turned around he greeted me with his famous warm smile. And to think that girls will go crazy because of it. I guess Yoochunnie got himself a competition. I just couldn't help but smile back.  
  
I finished our meal in a bit and put it on the table, then sat down and motioned for Changmin to join me.  
  
"This is your house too now. Just do whatever you feel like doing." I said smiling. In his movements and actions I recognized a hint of that well education his parents must've given to him, just like our parents did. And as soon as our parents went to USA we forgot all about it and started acting like pigs. I mean, look at Yoochun's room. At least I'm trying to look and act decent. Yeah, yeah, of course I'm joking. I have to mock my hyung a little bit. Good thing he's not here.  
  
We started eating and silence filled the kitchen all over again. However I didn't feel a bit awkward. I felt like Changmin and I grew up together, spending every evening eating our dinner just like this. In silence and quick glances from time to time. Suddenly I stopped eating and looked at my new friend.  
  
"Hey, you won't mind if I ask you a question?" I said.  
  
"Um, of course not. What is it?" he asked back clearly surprised and probably curious. I know I would be if someone asked me the same thing.  
  
"Well... don't get me wrong... but umm... can I change your looks? I mean, little stuff... like your hair, your glasses, your clothes... you know, nothing big." I said giving him a goofy grin and hoping he won't feel offended or something. Afterall, we just met.  
  
He blinked a few times like he was processing what I just said. He didn't look mad nor offended. At least not yet. I hoped it'll stay that way.  
  
"You mean like... makeover?" he asked. Wow, and here I thought he's the smart one. It took him a while to get that.  
  
"Yeah, I didn't mean to call it that way, but okay, I guess that's the right word." I nodded. I still waited for his answer. I actually became quite anxious as moments passed. Is it that hard to trust me? I mean, look at me, I look... innocent. Right? I won't ruin his precious appearance, I can only make it better. I noticed him checking me out like he was looking for some kind of flaw on me. Something he didn't want to see on himself. "Trust me, I won't make you look like a freak." I couldn't help but say.  
  
He chuckled. "Okay." He simply said and shrugged, then continued to eat.  
  
Okay? He agreed just like that? Wow, this is gonna be easier then I thought.  
  
"But I'll have to like be in control of everything, I can back away any time I want and I have to see everything that's going on with my hair, clothes... what are you going to do with my glasses?"  
  
Ha, just when I thought it'll be easy. Well, what did I expect? He's not dumb. Actually, he's probably everything but dumb. He's a geek afterall.  
  
"Of course, just trust me. I think we have to get rid of that nerdy image you have. As for glasses, I'll buy you lenses." I started to ramble. I always did that when I got excited. And it's been a while since something made me this excited. Come on, I'm gonna transform this geek into a hot guy. What's better then that?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
The music in this place is intoxicating. Or maybe it's just me. I can't drink anymore, I actually think I might be sick. I finished another bottle of soju as I turned around to look for Yunho. Of course, he rules that dance floor. I can clearly see him in the center of it, showing off his amazing dance moves. All the girls around are gasping looking at him lovingly. Makes me even more sick. He finally moved, grabbing one of them and started dancing with her. She's gonna pass out any time now. Happiness. God, can she be more shallow? They all are. It looks like their only goal in life is getting one of us. Yunho, me... even those Park jerks. I mean, who would want to get them? Oh yeah, stupid girls. They're not even hot.  
  
I finally got up. Happiness is one thing I won't get in this life. Not after she left me. The whole world collapsed with her saying good bye to me and leaving without an explanation. She didn't deserve me. Everyone kept saying that to me ever since. But I know that's not true. She was the one. Shut up, Jae, you don't know what you're saying. Drunk bastard. That's what I am. That's what I became – what left out of me. I used to be happy. I won't experience it again. I know it's impossible.  
  
I walked to the dance floor. Surprisingly, I could still walk. Am I drunk enough? Oh who cares. Hyung will kill me when I get home. He's always so protective. Well, he couldn't protect me from getting hurt, could he? Stupid hyung. He doesn't deserve to be called that. Lee Jun Ki. You should've kept your eye on me, you should've known she's just another bit.ch. I'm your dongsaeng, why couldn't you protect me from her? Why couldn't you stop me from falling so hard. Damn you. That's what you get tonight, a drunk @sshole for brother. You'll still tuck me into bed, right? Of course you will, just like you used to when we were kids.  
  
I looked at Yunho and flashed him a smile. He looked at me weirdly, but quickly turned to his next victim. Lucky girl. Ha, yeah right. He'll use you sl.ut. That's what you're here for, right? And tomorrow you'll be able to say that you slept with Jung Yunho. Your friends will be so proud of you. I swear we're surrounded with retarded people.  
  
I started dancing. Have you noticed how I'm using word I all the time? Yes, I'm conceited jerk, call me that and nothing else. Bitter conceited jerk. Does that make me different? I hope so. Or not. I shouldn't be different. Maybe even those Park boys are better then me. After what had happened I bet they are.  
  
There's a girl looking at me. What do you want bit.ch? A piece of me? Come on, you can have it. Just for tonight. I pulled her closer and continued to dance. She seems happy. Well, as long as you are, I am too. Yeah, right. I moved my hand down her back and pulled her even closer. I inhaled deeply as my chest crashed against her breasts. Wait. What kind of girl is this? She's so flat. And she doesn't smell like a girl. She smells like a guy. I looked up. God, I am dancing with a guy. And the next thing I knew... the guy kissed me. On the lips. And I kissed him back. Scr.ew this all...  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Finally someone who knows how to dance. This girl is not bad at all. I watched her swaying her hips to the rhythm of the music. That was hot. I pulled her closer, but then she gasped. I looked down, but she wasn't even looking at me. Instead she's looking at something behind me. Then I noticed she wasn't the only one. The whole club was staring at something behind me. What's going on, what am I missing?  
  
I turned around finally. Only to see JaeJoong making out with... another guy?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I don't really know what's going on, but I'm actually enjoying this. This guy's lips are so soft and he's such a good kisser, I just don't want to stop. I could feel his hands exploring my body and I moaned softly. I haven't felt such satisfaction in a long time. Moving my hand up his back I deepend the kiss and just then it hit me. We're in club, in the middle of the dance floor and it's abnormally quiet. I quickly pushed the guy off me and looked around. Everyone, and I mean every single soul in the club, was staring at me. Including my best friend. Yunho.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Unbelievable. I just can't believe what I'm seeing. Is that really JaeJoong? In the arms of a man? God, that is disgusting. Okay, I wouldn't exactly refer to my best friend as disgusting, but that sight was just disturbing. I won't be able to live normally with that picture permanently memorized in my head. Oh well, I guess I'll do my best to erase it from my memory.  
  
JaeJoong finally broke it off. What happened to him? Was he too drunk to make a difference between a girl and a guy? No way, no one can be that drunk. Great, now we're staring at each other. What? Do you want me to do something? I don't know. I don't know what to do to help you now Jae. Well, look at it this way, now you'll be able to get rid of all those annoying girls running after you. That's what you wanted right?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Jae, do something. Just don't stand there.  
  
So, I ran out of the club. I ran as fast as I could. I wasn't drunk anymore, I got completely sober all of the sudden. Must be the shock. And this sick mixture of feelings. What the hell is going on with me?  
  
I ran until I reached my house, then walked in, trying to calm myself. I didn't want hyung to ask any questions. I came home pretty early anyway. I walked into the living room and saw Jun Ki watching tv. I smiled, then went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Jae?" I called as he disappeared into the kitchen. I saw him coming back almost instantly.  
  
"Did something happen?" I asked concerned. I haven't seen him this upset ever since he saw our dog dying. And that was like, eight years ago.  
  
I knew something was wrong. He was trying to hide it, but I know him too well. I also knew he'll tell me. I just needed to wait patiently for it to happen.  
  
"Nothing." He replied too quickly, but I could see he was swallowing hard and slightly sweating.  
  
"Are you okay? Are you sick?" I asked suddenly. He really looked sick. "How much did you drink?"  
  
"A lot. But I'm not sick. I'm sober." He replied looking straight ahead of him.  
  
I reached out for him, but as soon as I touched his shoulder he shivered. He looked scared. Me on the other hand, I was getting extremely worried. I pulled away and just stared at him.  
  
"God, don't stare. I'm sick of people staring at me." He yelled suddenly and got up, then stormed out of the room and upstairs, probably into his room. I turned off tv and followed him slowly.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
How could I tell him? I didn't want him to think I'm gay. I can't be. I mean, I love girls. I loved her. But then, why was I so attracted to that guy the moment he touched me? No, no, I just needed someone at the moment and the guy appeared to be there. Stop talking nonsense Jae, of course you loved making out with a guy. Oh god, what's happening to me?  
  
I heard JunKi walking up to my room and knocking on the door. The next thing I knew he was standing in front of me. He never waits for me to tell him to come in. That's so annoying. Especially in moments like this.  
  
"Tell me what happened." He said sitting down next to me. I moved away a little bit. I felt like I'll suddenly feel attracted to him, which was sick. Even for a gay guy. Which I'm not.  
  
"I... I..." I knew I had to tell him. He wouldn't judge me, right? He's stuck with me, since he's my hyung. Yeah, I can tell him. But I'm still not so sure. Besides, what's there to tell? Oh yes, what happened. "I got drunk and I kind of made out with a guy." I let it all out at once, then closed my eyes. I don't know what I expected from him to do. I just didn't want to see him at this moment. I was too embarrassed and afraid of his reaction.  
  
He didn't say a thing. Instead he pulled me into a hug.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I held him. I knew that was the only thing that I could do to make him feel better. Well, maybe not exactly better, but I just wanted to let him know that I'm there for him no matter what. He didn't pull away and that was a good sign. I felt him relax a bit. After a couple of moments I pulled away and looked at him.  
  
"You're afraid you're gay?" I asked looking into his eyes. I already knew the answer. He didn't have to speak, it was normal. I went through that too. He just didn't know. Maybe it was time for him to find out.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at him like he was dumb. Of course I'm afraid I'm gay. Wait, how come he's so calm about this? I'm freaking out here. Didn't he hear me? I kissed a guy! And he's already asking me if I'm gay. No, wait, that's not what he asked.  
  
"Yeah." I replied quietly. The next thing he did shocked me. He laughed.  
  
"Umma and appa will be proud when they find out." He said sarcastically. I understood that laugh was actually full of bitterness. It reminds me of myself actually. It's not something hyung would do.It sounded like me.  
  
"Thanks a lot Jun Ki." I said annoyed and scooted away from him again. Of course I was offended. The last thing I needed now is for my brother to mock me. It wasn't funny at all.  
  
"No, that's not what I meant." Hyung started again and I looked at him.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm gay too."


	4. Chapter 4

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up and looked around. Jae's room. I must have fallen asleep here last night. I glanced at the clock. 9am? God, I haven't slept that much at all. We've been talking for hours last night anyway, I must have fallen asleep around 4am or so. And my back hurts really bad now, that's what I'm getting from sleeping on the floor. I glanced at the bed. Jae was sleeping so peacefully. He had a rough night afterall. I haven't seen him sleep so peacefully for ages. Well, more like a year and a half. Since she left.  
  
I continued watching him. My little dongsaeng. He became too bitter for a seventeen years old. He got hurt and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Sometimes I think I should've tried harder, I should've been there for him more. But when I look back I'm not so sure that my interfering would change anything.  
  
He looked like a little kid all over again. I couldn't help but smile at his face expression. I didn't know what to think now. After last night. We talked a lot about those new feelings he's getting. I told him my story, how I realized I'm gay. How I accepted it. I don't remember when was the last time he listened to me that carefully.  
  
I understand him. I don't think he expected it, for me to support him and get what he's going through. I'm happy. I'm happy that he has me, he has someone who went through that all and can help him. I know that means a lot, I wish I had someone like that when I was on my way of discovering myself.  
  
Of course he's on his own now. I don't know what's going on in his head. I mean, not completely. I know he's scared. I know it's hard. Especially since he's one of the most popular people in school. It's hard enough to deal with yourself and those urges that the whole community we're living in consider dirty and wrong. Almost sick. He has to deal with it now. And tomorrow, he'll have to deal with the whole school.  
  
Finally, I stood up and went out of Jae's room. After doing my daily morning ritual in the bathroom I went downtairs and made myself coffee. As I started making breakfast someone appeared beside the kitchen door.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood there, watching JunKi hyung. It was weird, but lately I only saw him in the kitchen. Whenever I came here, he would be here. I began to wonder when is he gonna move his bed here. It looked like he was living in the kitchen.  
  
He turned around and looked at me, but didn't really say a thing. Again he looked like he's mad at me. Maybe I'm imagining things again.  
  
I kept standing there. I have the feeling that I make him even more annoyed. After what seemed like hours he finally spoke.  
  
"You came."  
  
Of course I came. What? You haven't seen me standing in front of you ten minutes ago? I'm telling you, hyung is acting extremely weird. And JaeJoong doesn't believe me.  
  
I didn't know what to say. It was obvious I came. Oh right, why did I come.  
  
"How's he?" I asked.  
  
"How did it happen?" I hate when he does that. When I ask a question I don't expect another question instead of an answer. It doesn't matter how it happened, it just happened. That's all that matters, right? Besides, I don't quite know myself. I was too busy to watch over Jae anyway.  
  
"I'm not sure. I haven't seen how it started. I just saw him... in the middle of it." I said feeling slightly uncomfortable as that image appeared in my head again. I'm not so sure I'll be able to erase that memory afterall.  
  
"Oh, okay." JunKi replied. How can he be so calm? His brother might be turning into gay and he looks like he doesn't give a damn. I would be really upset if I were him.  
  
"Okay?" I asked surprised. "Your brother made out with another guy and you act like you're fine with it?" I added raising my voice a little bit. He began to annoy me. Acting like it was the most normal thing that could happen.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
As he said it I finally looked at him. It hurts, but I had to.  
  
"Why are you so upset? My brother being a gay shouldn't bother you." I said calmly. Or at least I was trying to stay calm. "What? Are you afraid it'll ruin your reputation? Scared that those school bitc.hes will think bad of you now? Or even worse, think you're gay too. Maybe you and Jae are together? I bet they'll start fantasizing about you two, with those dirty minds of theirs." I said not daring to look away from him. I was mad. The look on Yunho's face was a mixture of fear, disgust and anger. It just made me feel vulnerable and pathetic.  
  
Why the hell am I in love with this guy? Am I enjoying torturing myself? I shook my head and went back to making breakfast. Maybe he'll leave me alone and disappear. Out of my life. Let me live Yunho. Just go and don't look back. I want to heal and just... try to live without you.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at him. I didn't know what to say, since he was right. I hated to admit it, but hyung was completely right. Actually, when I look back, I can't recall the time when he wasn't. I always admired him because of that. But now his words were stabbing me like daggers. He never said something like that to me nor made me feel like sh.it. Like I'm the worst person in the world. Have I fallen that low? That I don't want to aknowledge my best friend just because he's gay?  
  
That's not me. I shouldn't be like that. I’m better person then that. I always despised people who were full of prejudice and believed in stereotypes. But this was more then that. I felt hurt. I looked at JunKi and it hurt me to see him like this. He actually looked like this meant so much more to him. It made me wonder if this was all about Jae or was there more to it. But I still couldn't say a thing.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"It's true, isn't it?" I said smirking and shaking my head. I didn't want to see him ever again, I kept my eyes on what I was doing.  
  
"It's not." He started quickly, but I cut him off again.  
  
"Maybe it will be better if you leave Yunho." I said glancing at him again and then put a knife I was holding into a sink. I looked at the window. "Maybe it will be better if you don't come back." I added quietly not expecting for him to hear me. He obviously did.  
  
"What? What are you talking about?" he yelled suddenly. I closed my eyes.  
  
"Just go." I said firmly and went out of the kitchen.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was standing outside of the kitchen, listening to the whole conversation. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Something was telling me hyung misjudged Yunho, but I couldn't walk in and defend him. Instead I decided to wait and see how it'll end.  
  
The next thing I knew, hyung was standing in front of me. I guess he didn't expect me there since he looked at me with wide eyes, causing me to gasp. His eyes... were full of tears.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I quickly pushed Jae and ran upstairs, into my room. I can't believe he saw me crying. Over that idiot.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
What just happened? I feel like I'm in the middle of some drama, like the whole world turned upside down. And it all started yesterday. Wait. Yunho was asking me about hyung. He was acting strangely? Could it be?  
  
Yunho interrupted my thoughts. I looked at him as he walked up to me.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" he asked again. It looked like he forgot all about yesterday's incident for a moment. I looked at him.  
  
"Don't you get it? He's..." in love with you. Stop Jae. You can't say that. Oh my god, how couldn't I notice it earlier? My hyung was in love with my best friend. It must have been awfully difficult for him to see him every single day. And I was wondering why he was so quiet and not like himself. He even looked devastated from time to time. And every time I'd bring Yunho home after school he'd do his best not to stay in the same room with us for a long time.  
  
"... he just has a lot of problems. I guess... you know, I told you that yesterday. It's just Junki." I said quickly. Maybe too quickly. But I couldn't tell Yunho the truth. How could I? I can't believe hyung allowed himself to fall for this guy. Out of all guys around, he picked the worst. I love my best friend and all, but he'll never be with a guy, I'm even afraid he despises gays. Maybe he doesn't, or if he does maybe he'll stop, since I'm his best friend and it looks like I'm gay. I shouldn't think about it now. The point is, my brother is destined to get hurt.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey! Changmin! Wake up!" I heard Junsu calling me, which was followed by him jumping on my bed and starting shaking me. This guy became too comfortable with me in such a short time. I opened my eyes and let out a groan, then glared at him. I reached for my glasses and put them so I could see him.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked falling back on my pillow.  
  
"Come on, get up, we're gonna make a hot guy out of you. You're starting school tomorrow, so you have to look perfect." He said cheerfully, I couldn't help but laugh. It looked like he came from another planet. How can someone be this happy and excited this early in the morning? And it's Sunday!  
  
I slowly got up. I guess I had to, I didn't want him to think up of some painful way to get me out of the bed. I quickly showered, brushed my teeth and in a bit I was already finishing my breakfast. Living with Junsu was the best thing ever. The boy just cooks heavenly food. I began to think this was too good to be true. And the fact that I still had to meet Yoochun made me slightly nervous. I had the feeling that he's completely opposite from Junsu and that wasn't a good thing.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
He was pretty quick. He actually surprised me. And he finished breakfast so fast, I just stood there and stared at him. Boy, this boy has such an appetite. I was happy he liked the food though. Yoochun never sais anything, I guess just him eating it should make me satisfied.  
  
Soon we were on our way to the mall. I think I scared Changmin a little bit with the amount of clothes I was getting for him, but once he got changed into them he loved it. Who wouldn't? He looked so handsome, I was proud. We got him lenses and finally got rid of those glasses. I actually bought him another pair of glasses, just in case, but this one was more... let's say stylish. At least he didn't look like a geek. Finally we fixed his hair. By the end of the day he looked amazingly well. I didn't expect him to turn out this hot. I was satisfied with everything I did in one day. And I could tell he was too.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
We came back home and I went to my room to leave all my new clothes. I looked at the mirror. So, this is new me. I like it. I looked at the window again and smiled. The change has begun.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Once we got home I began preparing the dinner. Yoochun called to say he'll be late. It surprised me, he never calls. He comes and goes whenever he wishes. Maybe he did it because of Changmin, not to keep us wait for him. The thought of Yoochunnie changing because now we have another person in the house amused me. If it happens I won't complain. Since the change will be to better, right? I hope so.  
  
Changmin came downstairs. This time he made sure I heard him. I guess he doesn't want me to go all 'stop moving like a cat' like. I looked at him.  
  
"You look great. I told you you can trust me." I joked.  
  
"Thanks, for everything." He replied and I smiled.  
  
"Oh, would you mind going to the store? I forgot buying some stuff." I asked looking at him. I didn't mean to make a guest go shopping, but since we're gonna live together maybe I should just stop thinking of him as of a guest. He's part of the family now. Kind of.  
  
He smiled. "Sure." And took the list I handed to him. Soon he disappeared. I smiled.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I picked everything on Junsu's list and also some stuff for myself. As I finally made it to the counter I realized I didn't have enough money. Great, just great, this is so typical, just something that can only happen to me. I sighed thinking of the stuff I should return when a male voice spoke behind me.  
  
"How much do you need?"  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
The guy turned around and looked at me with a surprised look on his face. I smiled.  
  
"How much do you need?" I repeated. Since he didn't look like he's gonna tell me I turned to cashier. "How much?" I asked again, smiling. The girl melted. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and just waited patiently. I realized I have a lot of patience. I must've developed that ability living with JaeJoong.  
  
After I paid for the guy's and my groceries we went outside. He finally spoke.  
  
"Why? Why did you do that?" he asked. I guess he was in the state of shock until now. He looked at me with wide eyes. I could see he was quite young, maybe two or three years younger then me. At our age, that difference means quite a bit.  
  
"I just thought you needed a little help. Plus, I knew it will be pain in the @ss returning stuff, then come back for it." I replied shrugging. "I'm Lee Jun Ki." I introduced myself and smiled.  
  
"Oh right... Shim Changmin." The guy replied and smiled back. Such a nice smile.  
  
"Wanna go for a coffee or ice cream or something?" I asked suddenly. The guy seemed nice. And a bit lost.  
  
"Well, I actually can't right now. They're waiting for me at home." He said. "Some other time, okay?" he added smiling again.  
  
"Sure." I nodded. We continued to walk, I guess he doesn't live far from me. "I haven't seen you around here, what school do you go to?" I asked. I knew a lot people in the neighbourhood, I'm the kingka afterall.  
  
"Yeah, that's because I just moved here from New York. Yesterday actually. I go to Seoul High, starting tomorrow." He said. Clearly he was happy he's in Seoul. I wonder what's he gonna feel like after spending a day at our school. I hope he won't be disappointed. Although, most likely he will be. With all the mess going on there, the whole Park vs Kim/Jung thing. Gets on my nerves.  
  
"I go to Seoul High too." I didn't want to say I'm the kingka. It doesn't mean anything anyway. It's just a burden. Maybe I should just tell them all I'm gay and hopefully they'll leave me alone. "Well, I guess I'll see you in school then." I said as I turned into my street.  
  
Changmin smiled and waved at me and I turned around heading to my house.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Thank god for that guy. It was embarrassing enough I didn't have enough money. JunKi seems like a good guy. Did I mention I love Seoul? People are great. I can't wait for tomorrow, school time. I'm gonna meet a lot of people and hopefully make some friends.  
  
I got home. Junsu was still alone, waiting for me. He finished dinner in a bit and we sat down to eat. Just then, the doorbell rang and I got up to open it.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at the guy in front of me. Oh my god. Did I get the wrong house? I swallowed a bit as I continued staring and felt my heart beating like crazy. What the...  
  
"Hi, you must be Yoochun." He said and smiled broadly. I shivered slightly at the sound of my name coming out of that sexy mouth of his. That smile... is the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Don't tell me...  
  
"You're Changmin? Damn, you're h--... a nerd?"


	5. Chapter 5

Yoochun's P.O.V.

 

I knew Junsu might exaggerate, but not this much. What kind of a nerd is this? This guy is effing sexy. My parents should've warned me. They should've known better then to send this kind of hottie to me. They should've known that I'd be waiting for him to jump him. Don't look at me like that, I'm not a pervert. I just have urges. A little bit too strong urges.

 

Changmin's P.O.V.

 

I looked at Park Yoochun. I never consider men hot, but this one was. I even felt my heart skip a bit as I stared at his eyes, but as I realized what happened my face turned a deep shade of red. Maybe I should be worried. For the first time in my life a guy turned me on. But that still doesn't mean I'm gay, right?

I quickly brushed the feeling away as he finally entered the house. I glanced at him and smirked.

"A nerd?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Let me guess, Junsu described me as a geek with thick glasses, funny clothes and a terrible haircut?" I asked as we walked into the kitchen.

"Well, you were. Until today. You should've seen him before. Hey, Changmin, do you have some pictures? I should show hyung what kind of transformation you went through. And all thanks to me." Junsu said proudly and I laughed.

I looked at Yoochun and stopped immediately. He was staring at me again. I smiled awkwardly and then sat back down.

"I'll be right back." He said and went out of the kitchen. I looked at Junsu and he just shrugged happily.

"Don't pay attention, he must be tired." He said simply and I nodded.

 

Yoochun's P.O.V.

 

I quickly went into the bathroom. I washed my face and looked at the mirror. I couldn't calm down. How am I supposed to live with him? How am I supposed to control myself? How am I supposed to sleep at night knowing that he's in the room right across from me? Come on, Yoochun, just fight it. I closed my eyes trying to calm down again, but it didn't quite work. Finally, I went out of the bathroom and came back to the kitchen.

I sat down next to Junsu and smiled at Changmin. I guess I'll just have to find a way to avoid him. I don't want to spend time with him, I don't want to look at him and I definitely don't want to be friends with him. What I want is something that he can't even imagine.

"So, how was it? How's nuna?" Junsu asked. I totally forgot about it.

"She's okay, she told me to hug you and give you million kisses. I couldn't tell her that's just not gonna happen." I joked as I looked back at Junsu. Of course, I had to glance at Changmin, that beautiful face of his was smiling back at me and I quickly glanced away. I might be rude and mean, but if that will stop me from getting hurt, then I don't have a problem with it.

Junsu smiled and stood up, picking his dirty dishes. I started eating and across the table, I could see that Changmin is not finished yet either. Junsu left, leaving me alone with Changmin. Great brother of mine. I kept my head down, my eyes focused on the food. Food has never been more interesting.

We ate in silence. I didn't mind it, it was just a little bit awkward, but it was still better then having a conversation with Changmin. I just didn't want to have anything with him. I could tell he wanted to talk, but I didn't want to help him start a conversation. I even hoped he won't come up with anything to talk about.

I finished eating and finally glanced at Changmin again. I widened my eyes. How much more can he eat? And again, he's so skinny. I didn't say anything, I just put my plate into the sink and started washing it. It was one rule we had in the house. Junsu cooked, I did the dishes.

As I drifted off into my thoughts Changmin came up behind me. I could sense him, but didn't dare to turn around. Instead I just pretended like I didn't notice him.

"Yoochun." That sexy voice called again. Why does he have to say my name in such a way? Makes me shiver every time.

"Yeah?" I asked, then finally turned around. Maybe he wanted something. He just handed me his plate and I turned back to the dishes.

"So far, I love it here." He said still standing there. I looked up and turned around again to look at him. He looked back and the warmest smile I've ever seen appeared on his face. "Thanks." He added and I just stared as he exited the kitchen.

 

JaeJoong's P.O.V.

 

"Oh my god, have you heard?"

"Is he really gay?"

"He made out with a guy in the middle of the club on Saturday night."

"I can't believe it. Not JaeJoongie oppa!"

I rolled my eyes. Just then a girl walked up to me. I tried to ignore her as I continued walking, but she kept following me.

"What?" I snapped stopping suddenly.

"Oppa... is it true?"

Oh god. I didn't say anything and continued to walk. I saw Yunho coming towards me and I smiled. Finally someone normal.

"Hey, this is creepy, the whole school is talking about you." He said instantly.

"Really? I haven't noticed." I said sarcastically and looked straight ahead.

"I wonder if Yunho oppa is gay too. Since they're best friends..."

"I wouldn't be surprised. Afterall, they're kind of inseparable, don't you think?"

That did it. I should stop this once and for all. I turned around suddenly. I was actually surprised to see how many people were following us.

"Haven't you heard that talking behind somebody's back is rude? Figuratively and literally." I snapped. A couple of girls blinked and I could actually hear silence. For the first time in three years.

"Jae..." Yunho started, but I stopped him.

"Shut up Yunho." I said shortly and he nodded. I turned back to the crowd. I felt like I'm talking on some meeting. Weird. "Yes, I'm gay. Satisfied? He, on the other hand, is not." I said pointing to Yunho. Half of the girls was shocked, the other half was happy. I assume first half were my fangirls – as much as that sounds disgusting, the other half probably preferred Yunho. "Okay, I'm glad we cleared that out." I said calming down. "Oh, and stop following me around." I added glaring at them. It was about time. I wonder why I haven't done this earlier.

I turned around. Oh great, just great.

 

Yoochun's P.O.V.

 

"Did I hear him well? Junsu, did I hear him well?" I asked poking Junsu on the shoulder. Kim JaeJoong is gay? Oh, is this some sick joke? Sad day for gay community. I should skip school, go home and cry myself to sleep. The worst thing ever. I can't imagine him being one of us. That's just awful.

"Junsu?" I looked at my brother. He just stared at JaeJoong. It looked like they were doing a little staring competition. Who looks away first loses. I waved my hand in front of his eyes. "Are you listening to me, Junsu? Wake up, yah!" I poked him again. Nothing.

 

Junsu's P.O.V.

 

He's gay? Oh god. Really?

"Pinch me." I said quietly. I must be dreaming.

"Yah! What did you do that for?" I broke eye contact with JaeJoong and glared at hyung.

"You asked for it." He replied looking at me weirdly.

"Oh right." I replied and looked back at JaeJoong. But Yunho already pulled him and they walked into the classroom. I guess it's true.

"Come on." Yoochun said pulling me as well and we followed JaeJoong and Yunho. I was in awe. I didn't quite know where are we going until a bunch of girls surrounded us again.

"Junsu... Junsu..." I heard someone calling me.

"Huh?" I asked. I was still in shock. A girl asked me something. "What?" I asked again. I must've looked really lost, since she just gave me a weird look and walked away.

I sat down and looked back. JaeJoong was trying to avoid all the looks again. He looked back at me. Well, more like glared. I quickly turned around.

I still can't believe I'm not dreaming.

 

Changmin's P.O.V.

 

I stood in front of the classroom. My first day in Seoul High. I'm excited. What, you wouldn't be? Who knows what I'm gonna face there. Or better, who. Teacher, Ms Seo, smiled at me and told me to follow her. I smiled back and finally walked in.

"Class, we have a new student." She said smiling and motioned for me to step forward. I didn't really like introductions, I wasn't very good at it. Too shy I guess. But here I am, at least I can say my name.

"Hello everybody, my name is Shim Changmin, I just moved here from New York." I said smiling at hopefully my future friends. I saw a couple of girls staring at me and some guys glaring. I guess I do look good. The feeling is new. Different.

"Thank you, you can go sit over there." Ms Seo said still smiling and pointed at an empty seat in the back of the classroom. I nodded and walked up to my new seat, then sat down. Someone poked me on the shoulder. I turned around.

"Hi. I'm Kim JaeJoong."

 

JaeJoong's P.O.V.

 

The new guy sat right next to me. I might be gay since like yesterday, but I already like this guy. He's really handsome. Plus, it'll be better for him to hang around with me and Yunho then those Park bitc.hes.

"I'm Shim Changmin." He introduced himself again. I smiled. He smiled back. He looks great when he's smiling.

"So, you're from New York? That's cool." I said. I glanced at the teacher, she was busy explaining something and writing on the board. She didn't pay attention to me. She knew my talking habit during the class anyway.

"Yeah, my folks moved there when I was ten." He replied. I could tell he actually wanted to pay attention to class.

"Okay, well, we'll talk more during lunch." I suggested.

 

Changmin's P.O.V.

 

I smiled and nodded. As he looked away from me I glanced at him. He was so pretty, almost like a girl. I looked around. Girls were looking at the two of us. In a weird way. I didn't know what was that all about, so I decided to just ignore it. And pay attention to the class.

 

Yoochun's P.O.V.

 

Junsu kept turning around. What is wrong with him? Maybe something interesting is going on in the back. I turned as well. No way! Changmin and that Kim jerk. I glared at the two of them talking. First of all, Changmin shouldn't talk to him, he's an idiot. And second of all, he just announced he's gay. That's like double alert. I have to do something. Later.

 

Junsu's P.O.V.

 

We can't let Changmin hang around JaeJoong and Yunho. They're like... enemies of the family. Oh well, that's not important now. Jae is gay! Wait, did I just call him Jae?

 

Yunho's P.O.V.

 

"Jae... hey, Jae..." I whispered and poked him. He turned around. I motioned to Changmin. "You got yourself a boyfriend?" I asked and chuckled. I have to tease him now that he declared himself as gay.

"Shut up." He said annoyed, but smiled.

"Oh you did?" I widened my eyes.

"I didn't." he said and quickly turned around.

"Oh yes, you did." I nodded and leaned on my desk chuckling. Why does a sudden appearance of this Shim Changmin looks like a big deal?


	6. Chapter 6

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Lunch, at last! I'm sick of classes. Today is just not my day. I couldn't pay attention to anything. I kept thinking about Yunho. I acted like a jerk yesterday. Maybe I should apologize to him. Why did I think that he'd leave Jae just because he's gay. They've been friends since diapers. You can't leave a friend just like that.  
  
Of course I know why I did it. I needed a way to push him away from me. That was my only perfect opportunity and I decided to use it. But now, I'm feeling even more miserable then before.  
  
I walked up to Jae's table. Hey, who do we have here?  
  
"Changmin?"  
  
"Oh Junki, hi!" he greeted me happily. I smiled.  
  
"You guys know each other?" Jae asked surprised.  
  
"Yeah, we met yesterday." I replied. "Jae is my little dongsaeng." I said sitting next to JaeJoong and hugging him playfully. He pushed me away. Changmin chuckled as he watched us. He was clearly amused.  
  
"Stop it hyung." Jae said pretending to be disgusted.  
  
"Oh come on, what's wrong? I heard you had a little confession. The whole school is talking about it. You outshined me, and I'm supposed to be the kingka." I joked.  
  
"Outshining you is not such a difficult task." That voice. I didn't expect him to talk to me. Not after what I said yesterday. I looked at him.  
  
"Can we talk?" he asked. I nodded and stood up, then followed him, away from the crowd.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stopped and turned around to look at JunKi. We were on the roof of the school. This was my chill out place. And I knew it was JunKi's too. He glanced around. Everywhere but at me. Was he feeling uncomfortable? Because of me? Must be because of what happened yesterday. I still don't get it. I want some answers. That's why we're here now.  
  
"So, what happened with you yesterday?" I asked. Actually, it wasn't just yesterday. I wanted to ask him what's going on in general, but for now yesterday will be enough.  
  
"Oh, I... I'm sorry about that." He replied still not looking at me. It annoyed me. He annoyed me so much lately, I couldn't stand it.  
  
"Will you look at me? You haven't looked at me in what seems like years." I said raising my voice again. He gave me a weird look. Maybe that didn't come out right.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
You noticed? I thought I was good at hiding it. I never wanted you to see it. But I think I'm not as smooth as I thought I was. I don't know what to tell you Yunho. What I want to tell you you wouldn't want to hear, trust me. But other then that... we have nothing to talk about.  
  
"I'm looking at you." I replied calmly. I think it annoyed him even more. That's all I'm capable to do. Annoy him. He must hate me now. Probably also because I'm his best friend's hyung and he has to put up with me. I'm always around. Well, that's the point. I wanted to push you away jerk, why are you still here?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was looking at him. He was looking back. We remained silent. I was waiting for something, I don't know what. I also felt like I was looking at him for the first time in my life. And there was something in his eyes, some hint of pain. I didn't like it. Simply because that was the only thing I didn't want to see there. I hated seeing him hurt.  
  
He was always so strong. He was smart, responsible and reasonable. He amazed me with his ability to always be there. For Jae, for me, for everyone. It looked like he was happy all the time, like he didn't need a thing as long as we had everything. And his look used to be so soothing. It was enough to look at him and I'd instantly feel better. What happened?  
  
I guess that was what I was trying to read in his eyes. But he never let me. He would always look away. Don't look away now JunKi. Please, don't.  
  
But he did. And he started walking away. I couldn't let that happen.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Exposed. That's what I felt like. Naked and vulnerable. Standing in front of him and letting him look at me. What I have become. I don't want to disappoint you Yunho, but you wanted to look at me, so here I am, look now. Make it quick, since I definitely won't be staying long. Not like this, can't you see it's hurting me?  
  
It's enough. I'm going. Don't stop me. Don't.  
  
Why? Why couldn't you let me go? Why did you have to look at me?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Now that I've seen him I don't want to stop looking. I want to be there for him. Like he used to be there for me. He didn't have to do anything, I just knew he's there. He doesn't have to speak, I just need to look at him. And I need to see him look back at me.  
  
When he turned around I grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a hug. I felt him struggling for a moment, but soon he gave up. I was happy he did, but at the same time, it happened too fast. What happened to the strong hyung that I used to know? He'd never let anyone see him like this. Let alone comfort him. It was always the other way around. Let me be there for you, that's all I'm asking for.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I want to let go. I didn't expect him to hug me. I... I don't know what to do now. So I hugged him back. And relaxed. I know I'm gonna end up even more hurt after this, but I... can't. Why can't we just stay like this? Why can't you love me?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched him talk. He was so... different. Happy. Full of life. Something I haven't been for a while. I enjoyed watching him, he actually reminded me of my old self. I was just like him, before she came into my life. But that's over now. And I'm not gonna look back.  
  
Changmin is... I don't know, just looking at him makes me feel so good. My life is changing and he's here now. Doesn't that mean something? I really like him. Maybe... just maybe... I can make him mine.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I had so much fun today! I knew this was the right thing to do. I already made friends. JaeJoong is such a cool guy. Not to mention that Junki's his hyung. So awesome. Yunho seems nice too, but we really didn't have a chance to talk. But since he's JaeJoong's best friend I guess he can't be bad. He looks like a player though, all those girls running after him and all. I still didn't quiet get used to that. Although, a couple of girls were asking about me. Wow, is that popularity in the air? For little old me? I can't believe it.  
  
I was looking for Junsu and Yoochun during the lunch, but they disappeared somewhere. I haven't seen them all day. I guess I'll talk to them when I come home. This day is like... the best day in my life. I was hoping it to be good, but this went beyond my expectations.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Junsu!" I heard Yoochun coming into the house.  
  
"I'm here... as usual." I added the last part quietly, sometimes I feel like I don't have to say where I am. He'll check kitchen first and he usually finds me here anyway. My hyung is dumb sometimes. Or just acts like it. I still haven't figured out which one of those is true. Pathetic, right?  
  
"Oh, there you are." Duh, of course. "I want to talk to you." Like serious talk? Am I in trouble? "About Changmin." Oh, you got me scared for a moment there.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Yah, can we like have a normal talk? Without you admiring your precious food in between my sentences?" he asked glaring at me. What's his problem?  
  
"May I remind you that you're the one who enjoys my precious food?" I said looking back at him. "What's the matter? Someone interrupted your beauty sleep in school?" Yep, if he expected for me not to mock his little slip from the other day, he was wrong.  
  
"Shut up and come here."  
  
"What? Now? Come on, I'm almost done here." I whined.  
  
"Drop that, we'll eat something else if that's the problem."  
  
You're kidding me right? Did I hear you well? What's the matter with the world? Has it turned upside down? First JaeJoong coming out of the closet, in which by the way I didn't even know he was, now Yoochunnie gives up my precious dinner? Should I be afraid? Nothing good will come out of this, I swear. I couldn't move. I just stared at him.  
  
"Fine, no dinner for you tonight. Changmin has big enough appetite for both him and you." I finally said putting away the pot and following Yoochun into the living room. He just glared at me. Again. I rolled my eyes.  
  
End of Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Junsu sat down on the couch and Yoochun stood in front of him.  
  
"Okay, well, I guess you noticed Changmin sits next to JaeJoong." Yoochun started. Junsu rolled his eyes.  
  
"Tell me something I don't know." He replied. "Wait, before you do that, yes, I noticed that he's been hanging around with him, they talked during lunch. Actually, it looked like JaeJoong doesn't want to let go of him." He added quickly. "If that's what you wanted to tell me, I'm pretty well informed as you can see. I have eyes too, you know." He said. "Now can I go back to kitchen?" he whined in the end.  
  
"No." Yoochun replied shortly and looked at Junsu like he's out of his mind. "You say you know all that and you don't care? Kim bastard and Jung idiot are our... rivals. That's like betraying a family." He shrieked.  
  
"God, Yoochun don't you think you're overreacting?" Junsu asked. He didn't want to see Changmin around JaeJoong and Yunho either, but he knew he couldn't do anything to stop him.  
  
"I'm not overreacting, he shouldn't hang out with them. I'm gonna stop him. And you're gonna help me, like it or not." He said.  
  
"Of course I will not do such thing." Junsu said standing up. "Why are you standing like that anyway, it's annoying."  
  
"Oh yes, you will, or... I'll tell umma and appa you're gay." Yoochun said smiling broadly.  
  
"Ha, you are too. Forgot already? I think you need a boyfriend to remind you." Junsu replied smirking slightly. "Stop acting like a baby. I won't help you and you shouldn't interfere anyway. It's Changmin's business."  
  
"It's not just Changmin's business. It's ours too, we have to protect him from bad influence. We're responsible for him." Yoochun said seriously.  
  
"What bad influence? JaeJoong and Yunho are not that bad, we just started that rival thing a long time ago and... look where it leaded us." Junsu said and pushed Yoochun out of his way, then walked back to the kitchen.  
  
"You can't be serious! Are you sick? We're talking about Kim JaeJoong and Jung Yunho here. The two biggest bastards on the earth." Yoochun yelled following him.  
  
"Are they?" Junsu asked seriously as he turned to look at Yoochun. Yoochun looked at him with wide eyes.  
  
"Of course they are. What kind of question is that?" he said.  
  
"I'm just... not so sure anymore." Junsu said quietly.  
  
"I don't have time for this. You know they are a couple of idiots. And as I said, I'll do everything possible to keep them away from Changmin." Yoochun said.  
  
"Okay, just curious, how are you gonna do it?"  
  
"Well... I'll tell him everything they did in the past."  
  
"Of course, you'll leave out everything we did in return." Junsu smirked. "Besides, all those stuff weren't that big of a deal. Stupid pranks. And when I think about it, I can't even remember how it all started."  
  
"It doesn't matter, it did start and now there's no turning back." Yoochun said simply.  
  
"Still, I don't think that plan of yours will work." Junsu replied skeptically. "It's just... funny."  
  
"Yah! It's not funny!" Yoochun said, although he knew Junsu was right. It was so childish. The whole fighting, rival thing. It just developed through years and became something bigger. "Okay, then... I can tell him JaeJoong is gay."  
  
Junsu widened his eyes.  
  
"You're an idiot, you know that?" he said and turned his back to Yoochun again.  
  
"Don't talk like that to your hyung!" Yoochun replied raising his voice just a little bit.  
  
"How could you think of something like that? Yes, JaeJoong is gay, but we are too. Is that a bad thing all of the sudden?" he asked. "Besides, what will happen when he finds out about us? You're such a hypocrite, how could you even think of something like that?" he asked. Yoochun remained quiet. "Oh, and one more thing. You don't know if Changmin is gay too."  
  
"You think?" Yoochun asked. Suddenly his face lit up.  
  
"I don't know. That's just a thought. And if he is, he might go after JaeJoong. I wouldn't blame him." Junsu said and smiled to himself. Yoochun felt his anger double.  
  
"I guess gay idea is out of the question then." He said sighing. "But don't worry, I'll think of something."  
  
"Oh, I am worried." Junsu nodded.  
  
"Of course, you'll be right there, next to me, helping me." Yoochun said firmly.  
  
"You can't make me."  
  
"Oh yes I can. Wait until I tell the whole school about your habit of buying girls' clothes." Yoochun grinned evily and walked out of the kitchen.  
  
"Ha, yeah right!" Junsu yelled after him, then turned back to dinner. He sighed. "I guess I'll have to do it."


	7. Chapter 7

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What do you want?" I asked looking at him. That's exactly what I needed today. One of Park bastards standing on my way to school.  
  
"Leave Changmin alone." He barked. I smirked.  
  
"Who are you to tell me what to do?" I replied. I don't know why I even bothered talking to the jerk.  
  
"Better back off before you regret it." He replied and turned around walking away. "Don't say I didn't warn you."  
  
I watched him. Who the hell does he think he is? And what's it to him if Changmin is with me or not? Whatever... we'll see about that.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched JaeJoong looking at Yoochun as he walked away from him. Just when I thought we'll have some peace. Those two are unbelievable. Sometimes I think that it was all hyung's fault. How it all started.  
  
  
Flashback (10 years ago)  
  
"JaeJoong! Hey JaeJoong! Wait for us!" Yoochun yelled running after a little boy his age. He turned around.  
  
"You're too slow. Come on, hurry, Yunho is already waiting for us." The boy said. "Junsu are you coming?"  
  
The youngest boy nodded and ran faster. Yoochun laughed. "Watch it!" he yelled, and just then Junsu tripped and fell down. "I told you to be careful!" Yoochun added, but continued running. JaeJoong, however ran back to Junsu and helped him up.  
  
"Thanks." Junsu said smiling a bit.  
  
"Now hurry." JaeJoong replied and pulled Junsu.  
  
Yunho was waiting for them on the playground.  
  
"What took you so long?" he asked looking at his friends.  
  
"My brother decided to show off his clumsiness." Yoochun replied still laughing. Junsu mimicked him and shook his head. "Sorry Yunho." He said.  
  
"Okay, so soccer?" JaeJoong asked and Yunho held a soccer ball as he nodded.  
  
"JaeJoong and me against you guys." Yunho said.  
  
"Hey! That's not fair. Why am I always stuck with him?" Yoochun complained pointing at Junsu.  
  
"Yeah, I want to be with Jae." Junsu added.  
  
"No, I said JaeJoong plays with me and my word is final." Yunho said putting the ball down. Park boys frowned, but took their positions. They started playing.  
  
"Yah! It didn't go in!" Yoochun yelled.  
  
"Of course it did." Yunho replied. Yoochun walked up closer to him.  
  
"It did not!"  
  
"It did."  
  
"Are you saying I'm blind?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"Guys, guys..." JaeJoong walked up to them trying to stop the fight.  
  
"Why do you always have to defend him Jae?" Yoochun asked. "It's clear that he cheated."  
  
"Yunho never cheats." JaeJoong stood in front of Yunho and glared at Yoochun.  
  
"Oh yeah? What do you call that now?" Yoochun asked pointing at the ball. Junsu appeared behind him and started pulling him back.  
  
"Yoochunah..." he whined.  
  
"Let me go Junsu." Yoochun snapped glancing at his brother.  
  
"Don't fight, umma doesn't like when you fight."  
  
"Don't be such a baby and let me go." Yoochun said again, pushing Junsu away, then turned back to JaeJoong. "He cheated, admit it."  
  
"He didn't. What are you trying? To pick up a fight with me?" JaeJoong raised his voice and smirked.  
  
Yoochun hesitated.  
  
"I thought so. You're too much of a chicken." JaeJoong added letting out a small laugh. Junsu could see Yoochun's hand forming a fist and the next moment, it made contact with JaeJoong's cheek.  
  
The boy stumbled backwards, but just for a moment. He glared.  
  
"You're dead." He gritted through his teeth and moved forward to hit Yoochun back, but instead his fist went straight to Junsu's jaw. The boy winced in pain and fell to the ground, hurting his knee in the process. JaeJoong was startled for a moment, but then smirked.  
  
"Serves you right. Park babies." He mocked watching Yoochun kneel down next to his brother.  
  
"Junsu, are you okay?" He asked and helped him up.  
  
"Junsu, are you okay?" Yunho imitated Yoochun in a girly voice, then laughed glancing at his friend.  
  
JaeJoong remained serious as he glared back at Yoochun, then smirked a little bit. "Come on Yunho, those babies learned their lesson." He said and turned his back, starting to walk away. Yunho smirked one last time and followed close behind.  
  
"Yah! JaeJoong! You're gonna pay for this!"  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I know JaeJoong wanted to apologize after that. But he couldn't after Yoochun picked up another fight two days later. Then it all started. Prank after prank, fight after fight. By the time we came to high school the whole neighbourhood knew about Park vs Kim/Jung rivalry. And now, there's more to it. Changmin is coming into the picture.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Yoochun asked me. I didn't realize I was still staring at JaeJoong.  
  
"Why couldn't you forget about everything that happened? Why couldn't we all just remain friends?" I asked suddenly looking back at hyung.  
  
"No one messes with Park brothers like that. You forgot what he did?"  
  
"We had one small fight, that was all." I said. Childhood fight on the playground. Don't tell me you're still that immature Yoochun.  
  
"It became more then that."  
  
"Yeah, thanks to you." I snapped. "Jerk."  
  
"I told you not to call me names. I'm your hyung!" he yelled.  
  
"What are you going to do? Hit me?" I asked looking at him daringly. "Just like you hit him?" I pointed at JaeJoong. Yoochun just glared at me and walked away.  
  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
What is his problem? Did he forget that I was only protecting him? JaeJoong and Yunho were acting like bastards, from that day they stopped being our friends. Maybe I did pick up a few fights after that, but they weren't innocent victims either. They were everything but innocent. Especially Yunho.  
  
One thing is sure. Now that Changmin is here I won't let JaeJoong have him.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
This Changmin guy is cool. We talked in school and I finally got to know him. At least a little bit. JaeJoong couldn't stop talking about him, so I figured he must be a good guy. I guess JaeJoong described him well. I can tell why he likes him, there is something about Changmin that is slightly JaeJoong like. That cheerfulness. Yeah, definitely, I missed that in Jae. But is there something more between the two of them?  
  
I looked at Jae and found this look on his face. I think he's falling for the guy. I still find it weird that my best friend is gay, but that's just something I have to deal with. People are still talking about it and all, but I know that will pass too.  
  
I still don't know how JunKi accepted it that well. He looked like he wasn't a bit surprised although I know it can't be true. Jae was devastated and scared when he realized, how could JunKi know before even he did? Maybe I shouldn't think about it that much. The important thing is that Jae looks better, he looks almost happy. There is still some hint of bitterness covering his beautiful features, but at least he's laughing. I haven't seen him laugh in a long time. At least not like this.  
  
"Hey Yunho! Wanna go bowling after school?" Changmin asked me. I smiled and nodded, then something caught my attention. Park brothers were looking at us. Junsu would glance from time to time, but Yoochun was staring. I looked at him, but he was focused on Changmin and JaeJoong. He looked like he wanted to kill Jae and after a couple of moments I was beginning to wonder how could look be so intense. He didn't even blink, he just stared. I looked at Ms Seo. Did she notice? How couldn't she? He was turned around completely, not paying attention to her. Isn't he afraid people will think he's gay? Wait. Is he?  
  
"Park Yoochun!" Ms Seo finally spoke. A little bit louder then usual. She made jerk jump in his seat and look straight ahead at her. She was right in front of him.  
  
"What's so amusing on Kim JaeJoong?" she asked looking down at him. I noticed his face changing colors. He remained silent. The whole class turned silent as well, looking at him. I looked at Jae, who smirked. Something tells me he knew what this was all about.  
  
"Pay a little bit attention to me and my class instead of Mr Kim, alright?" she ended and went back to her lesson. Yoochun looked up finally, then turned to Junsu who smirked and rolled his eyes.  
  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Idiot. He better leave me alone if he doesn't want to get beaten up again. I looked at Yunho. He's been giving me weird look. I mouthed 'I'll tell you later.' to him and turned back to Changmin.  
  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He invited me to go bowling with them after school. I didn't know what to think. I hate him for doing this to me. I don't understand him, why can't he just leave me alone? Ever since yesterday he's been trying to spend time with me. First that hug, then hanging out with me after dinner, then walking to school together this morning. He looks like he's worried about me and doesn't want to leave me. Like he's afraid of losing me. I know he doesn't care about me, why pretend?  
  
I agreed. I couldn't say no, I knew he's gonna start asking questions. Questions I can't give him answer to. So, I just nodded and walked away. Can't you get the message? I keep walking away and you keep following me. Am I not clear enough or you're that stupid?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Jae explained it to me. Next time I see Yoochun I'll beat the sh.it out of him. Maybe it'll stop him from messing with us again. Who am I kidding? That stupid bit.ch still doesn't get that he shouldn’t pick up fights with us. He gets beaten up every time and he still doesn't give up. He began to annoy me. Now even more then before, he just went to far. Changmin is our friend, not his. No matter what he does the guy won't even look at him.  
  
I told Jae that hyung is coming with us today. He looked at me strangely, but didn't say anything. What? We never invite him to hang out with us, maybe it's about time. Plus, I don't want to leave him alone, not after yesterday. I'm gonna spend as much time as possible with him, maybe he opens up to me one day. Maybe he'll tell me what's wrong. I want to help. Maybe I won't be able to, but at least I can be there for him.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I saw them walking out of the school together. I felt my anger boiling inside of me and I quickly started walking towards them. Until someone stopped me.  
  
"Where are you going?" of course, stupid brother of mine.  
  
"Where do you think I'm going?" I asked back and pointed to Changmin and JaeJoong. "I'm gonna get him away from that bastard." I replied.  
  
"Stop." Junsu said calmly. "We'll talk to him when he gets home." I nodded. I didn't need to fight with Junsu now. But then again, he doesn't need to know what I'm planning to do before I come home.  
  
"Alright. I have some stuff to do. You go home and I'll see ya later." I said quickly and walked away.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?


	8. Chapter 8

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I kept glancing at Yunho. We were in the backseat of JaeJoong's car. Jae kept talking to Changmin. I smiled. I haven't seen my brother this happy in a long time. But Yunho's presence made me feel uncomfortable. He was so close to me and he would look at me from time to time as well, but I ignored it. I wanted to ask him why he keeps going after me, but I couldn't. Not with Jae and Changmin around. Although, when I think about it, I don't know if I'd be able to ask him that anyway. I'm a coward, yes. I'm afraid he'll figure it out. Just like I'm afraid he'll see right through me every time he looks at me.  
  
We arrived in a minute and I noticed a familiar car park across the street. But I didn't think anything out of it. Maybe it was just a coincidence. I followed Yunho as he walked in. I actually hesitated for a moment, letting the boys go ahead of me. I kept my eyes down, trying not to look at him, but then he turned around.  
  
"Are you coming?" he asked cheerfully. He sounded happy. I didn't know why. Maybe he just was. That feeling wasn't familiar to me. I looked up at him and managed to give him a small smile, then nodded. He waited for me, then continued walking beside me.  
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked. Nothing is okay, thanks to you.  
  
"Yeah, of course." I lied and looked at him. I knew my eyes would tell him the truth, so I quickly broke the eye contact. He didn't say anything, he just pulled me as he quickened his pace and we caught up with Jae and Changmin.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at hyung. Why is he torturing himself like this? I thought he'd do anything to erase Yunho from his mind and try to avoid him as much as possible. But here he was, spending more time with him. I didn't quite understand that.  
  
We changed our shoes and walked up to one of the lines. I grabbed the bowl and grinned at Changmin before I made my perfect move. I could feel Changmin looking at me. And it felt good.  
  
I glanced at Yunho and Junki again and noticed hyung staring at him. I sighed, but decided not to pay attention to them. If he's stupid enough to keep up with it, then there is nothing I could do to help him.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
It looks like JaeJoong is great in everything he does. I never met a guy that would fascinate me this much. Oh god, am I turning gay?  
  
I kept staring at him as he graciously walked up to me and handed me the bowl. I was new at this, but I gave it a try. Of course, I sucked. But then he walked up to me giving me another bowl and stood behind me. Putting his hand on top of mine he showed me how it should be done. I felt my cheeks burning as I felt his steady breathe teasing my ear. He was so close. Too close. I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing, but it didn't even matter, now all I wanted to do was watch him.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled as I felt Changmin tense in front of me. I even noticed him blush. That was just the right effect I wanted to have on him. He turned around when I released him and smiled broadly again.  
  
"Want something to drink?" I asked. I thought it'll do him well. He looked like he was struck by sudden heat. No wait, I think that was me feeling that way.  
  
"Yeah, want me to go with you?" he asked back. "I mean... you'll need a help carrying it... for all of us." He said blushing again. I nodded.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
As Changmin and Jae went to buy drinks I stood up and took a bowl. Bowling just wasn't my thing, but I knew Jae and Junki were the best in it. Well, was there something Junki wasn't the best in?  
  
My first attempt went lamely. Just like I expected. I swayed my hand again, but then someone grabbed my wrist.  
  
"You're not doing it right." He said. I looked at him. He took the bowl and showed me. I had a strange feeling when he touched me. It was like he didn't want to make a contact. I looked at him weirdly. He turned around and looked down.  
  
"Now you try it." He said quietly.  
  
"Hyung..." I started. "Why don't you look at me? Like you did yesterday." I asked.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I swallowed. No, I can't look at you. What do you want me to say now? How can I answer that? What's the reason for not looking at you? Think quickly JunKi, lie.  
  
"I'm looking at you... I just don't feel really well." I replied. Well, that wasn't that big of a lie.  
  
"What's wrong? Are you sick?" Yunho asked immediately dropping the bowl he was holding and walking up closer to me. No, don't come closer.  
  
"No, I... don't think so." I managed to say, noticing him standing right in front of me. Great, now I'd have to think of something quickly. What's wrong with me?  
  
"Well, umm... want me to go with you to the doctors or something?" He asked again, putting a hand on my shoulder. I shivered and took a step back. I still didn't dare looking into his eyes.  
  
"No, I'm fine." I said quickly.  
  
"But you said you're feeling sick." He asked confused.  
  
"Yeah, well... I'll be better... as soon as I get home." I said already taking my jacket.  
  
"Alright, then I'm coming with you."  
  
"No, it's okay, you should stay, have fun." I said quickly.  
  
"But you're not okay."  
  
"I said I'll be fine." I said more firmly and finally looked at him.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Is he mad? I didn't mean to... I don't know, make him feel uncomfortable? But why would he feel that way? I'm thinking about this too much. But I can't help it, he's acting weird.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said quietly. "Are you mad? I didn't mean to push it like that... I mean... if you don't want me there..." I trailed off. I don't know why I said it, but that's just the way I'm getting it. Hyung and I never had secrets, I would always tell him what I was thinking and feeling. Our relationship was always so good mostly because we could talk about everything. I didn't want that to change.  
  
JunKi nodded and let out a sigh. I didn't know spending time with me and talking to me became sort of a burden to him. Or maybe it was me imagining things again.  
  
"I'm sorry." He apologized. I don't know why, but it also made me feel like laughing. The whole situation looked a bit ridiculous. How did we end up like this?  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
We bought drinks. I watched JaeJoong and I could feel a smile slowly appearing on my face. I couldn't really help it and him making me smile all of the sudden felt really good.  
  
"JaeJoong..." I started.  
  
"Call me hyung. I'm older then you and it just makes me feel... closer to you." He replied. His words sent butterflies in my stomach and I blushed again. Why am I getting these feelings? It's wrong.  
  
"Okay, hyung." I said smiling. Damn smile, I can't make it go away. "So, umm, hyung... wanna go to the movies tomorrow?" I blurted out. Where did that come from?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at him as I took the drinks. He did the same and looked back at me. I could clearly see him turn a deeper shade of red and it amused me. He also looked a bit lost, maybe his own words surprised him. I could tell he wasn't really a person who would ask someone out. He also didn't really look like a gay, but then again, who am I to tell? I still didn't get used to me being a gay, let alone to people around me. I felt some sort of feeling coming from him when I helped him with bowling and he just kept smiling... maybe that means something.  
  
"Yeah." I replied still looking at him. Maybe I said it a little bit too cheerfully, but suddenly I was really excited. Changmin looked at me and I know that in that moment his face reflected my own .  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood behind the corner, watching them. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could see the way they acted around each other as well as their facial expressions. I felt anger rising inside of me... well, both anger and jealousy. I don't want to admit it to anyone, but I'm extremely jealous of JaeJoong. I feel like he's taking Changmin from me. And I'm just not gonna let that happen.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
While I was staring at JunKi, waiting for him to do or say something, Changmin and Jae came back. I gave them a small smile and noticed hyung looking at them as well, trying to look cheerful. Why are you hiding in front of everyone JunKi?  
  
"Are you going somewhere?" Changmin asked him, since hyung still had his jacket in his hand.  
  
JaeJoong gave him a weird look, but I saw something else there. Understanding. I raised my eyebrow slightly. JaeJoong must have known his brother better, he must have known something that's going on in his life. I felt slightly hurt. Of course, they were brothers, but I always felt like a part of their family as well. I always felt like they're my hyungs as well. Especially JunKi. Jae was my best friend and all, but JunKi was truly a brother, a protective, caring older figure. I wanted to know everything about him, I wanted him to trust me enough not to have secrets with me. I just wanted some sort of a special place in his life. And now that I saw Jae knowing something about him I didn't, it hurt. It hurt like hell.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I glanced at Yunho. Surprisingly, he wasn't looking at me, but down, at his feet. He looked sad and I didn't understand why. I turned back to Changmin and forced a smile.  
  
"Yeah, I should go home, I don't feel very well." I replied. Changmin frowned and nodded.  
  
"You'll be okay by yourself?" Jae said, but I knew he wanted to stay. I knew he was just saying that because I was his hyung and he felt like he should take care of me. If I weren't feeling like sh.it I would've laughed.  
  
"I offered him to go with him, but he already refused." I could hear Yunho. He was barely audible, but at least he looked up to look at JaeJoong.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine guys, I just need some rest." I said quickly and smiled more broadly. It might have been hard, but I had to do it. The last thing I needed is for them to find out what really was going on with me.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yunho offered to go with hyung? Okay, that's weird. I mean, they used to be close, yes, but he's paying way too much attention to him. Especially since JunKi clearly doesn't want to be around him. I felt sorry for my brother all over again. It must've been a torture pretending like this.  
  
I nodded at JunKi and he started walking out. I smiled at Changmin and Yunho.  
  
"Okay, let's continue guys." I said cheerfully, but Yunho interrupted me.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You go ahead, I'll be right back." I said and quickly followed JunKi. By the time I reached the exit he was already pretty far away. However he turned around and saw me.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stopped and we were looking at each other for a couple of moments. Finally, I turned around and continued walking home.  
  
Why did you look for me? Again following me... I know what is wrong with me, but what the hell is wrong with you Yunho?  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Can I get anymore lame? I guess not. But I guess that's not a bad thing either, since I have JaeJoong to teach me. And make me feel really weird in the process. But I don't want him to stop, I actually like it. What am I saying?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
He missed all the pins again. I chuckled softly and came up behind him once again sliding my hand around his waist. I had no idea touching a guy would be this good. I smiled at him. As he let go of the bowl I didn't move. Still holding his hand in mine and standing behind him, I waited for bowl to hit all the pins and as it did Changmin quickly turned to me.  
  
"That was amazing!" he said happily widening his eyes at me. We were inches apart and I could feel his scent softly teasing me. I looked into his eyes and just when I moved my hand to touch him...  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Changmin!" I heard someone calling me. I quickly broke the eye contact with JaeJoong and looked at... Yoochun? I took a step away from JaeJoong. I don't know why I did it. Probably because I didn't want Yoochun to think... anything weird. And maybe also because he looked so scary. I could tell he was furious.  
  
"Yoochun? Hi." I said smiling at him as he walked up to us quickly. Before I could say anything else he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from JaeJoong. I looked at him weirdly.  
  
"Park Yoochun." JaeJoong said looking at him. I was so confused, he looked nothing like JaeJoong I knew. His face darkened at the sight of Yoochun and he actually looked half amused, half mad. I couldn't read or understand his expression properly. Yoochun on the other hand looked like he's ready to kill him.  
  
"Let's go!" he said to me and pulled me again.  
  
"Wait. Where are we going?" I asked, then glanced back at JaeJoong. For a moment it looked like he'll stop us, but then he just stood there.  
  
"Away from that bastard." Yoochun replied dragging me out of the bowling-alley.


	9. Chapter 9

Changmin's P.O.V.

 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked looking at Yoochun. We were in his car, on our way home. Or at least that's where I assumed we were going. I was taken aback by his action, but now, after finally realizing what happened, I was becoming mad. Why did he act like that? And why didn't JaeJoong do anything? I was confused and I wanted some answers. But most of all, I was angry. I was having a great time and he decided to come and ruin it for me?

He didn't say anything, he just kept his eyes on the road. I stared at him, confusion filling my mind as I got angrier with every second passing.

"Why did you do that?" I asked again. He looked like he wasn't going to answer me. The fact that he was ignoring me after what he did made me furious.

"Yah! Yoochun!" I screamed, causing him to stop the car and look at me. His eyes were still full of anger that I didn't understand, making me wince a little bit. He was really starting to freak me out. He didn't say anything, he just stared at my eyes, like he was expecting to see something in them, some kind of answer.

After a minute or two I finally glanced away, feeling uncomfortable. Still feeling his gaze on me I shifted in my seat and half-turned my back to him as I looked out of the window. All I wanted now is for him to start the engine again and drive home. Actually, all I wanted was for him to stop looking at me like that.

 

Yoochun's P.O.V.

 

As he turned away from me I watched him for a couple of moments and then glanced away, looking straight ahead of me. Finally I started driving again, focusing on the road in front of me. The rest of the ride passed in silence.

 

Junsu's P.O.V.

 

"Yoochun!" I called as I heard the door close. I didn't expect Changmin to come home this early, so I assumed it was just hyung. Since no one replied I went out of the kitchen.

"Oh, Changmin, you're home too?" I asked smiling, but my smile quickly disappeared as I saw the two of them. Yoochun just stood there, looking everywhere but at us. He looked like he was thinking about something, but I could clearly see he was trying to calm down. Changmin on the other hand stared at him for a moment, then glanced at me and finally quickly ran upstairs. He slammed his door shut like he was trying to emphasize his anger. He didn't need to do that, his look told me everything.

"You didn't..." I gasped looking at Yoochun, as realization hit me. Yoochun just sighed and went into the living room. I followed him. Changmin had every right to be angry, but I couldn't help but feel satisfied. I didn't want him to hang out with JaeJoong and Yunho, deep down I didn't want to. I knew it was wrong, that's why I fought it, I didn't want to be like Yoochun, at least not when it came to this stupid rivalry.

I was never like him, I never fought. People would think it was because I was a coward, a crybaby, not capable of fighting. Maybe they were right, but that wasn't the only reason. I hated the whole thing. It made me lose my best friends. Yes, ten years ago we were best friends. Especially Jae and I. Okay, he always loved to hang around and spend time with Yunho, but I was always the one who loved to be around him. I never wanted it to end like this. But hyungs started it all and after ten years I knew there was no turning back. That's why Changmin shouldn't spend time with them. I agree with Yoochun on that one. The difference is that I know it's wrong and impossible to stop him, while hyung just... doesn't.

"Why Yoochun? I thought we agreed we'll talk to him when he comes home." I said looking at him as he flipped channels on tv.

"Well, I didn't talk to him and he's home now." He replied simply, not even looking at me.

"Stop it! This is not a joke!" I began to lose my temper. That rarely happened, but I knew it will work. Just like I expected, he looked at me.

"Junsu, I couldn't just stand there and let him become friends with wrong crowd." He said calmly.

"What wrong crowd? I swear I have no idea what you're talking about. JaeJoong and Yunho used to be our best friends. We used to spend all our time together, we used to be so close." I started. Every time I thought about it I felt frustrated. Maybe it was time for me to let it out finally.

"We used to be friends!" he yelled trying to stop me from further talking. He also emphasized the words 'used to', making me shake my head angrily.

"Yeah, used to... we'd still be if there wasn't for you." I blurted out and then quickly slapped my mouth with my hands. I never meant to say that. But it was too late.

Yoochun widened his eyes and stared at me for a moment.

"You're blaming me?" he yelled again. "You're blaming me for what happened? All I did was protect you, you... you..." he said jumping up from his seat and standing in front of me. I could tell he was trying to find the most offensive word possible, but he came up with nothing.

"What am I?" I daringly asked. I wanted him to say something he'll regret. Maybe because I was hoping it'll make us even. I wanted to take my words back, but I couldn't. Now all that could fix that was for him to say something equally horrible to me.

 

Yoochun's P.O.V.

 

I was looking for the perfect word... but then I noticed his smirk and knew exactly what he was doing. Well, my dear dongsaeng, that's not gonna happen. Not after what you said to me.

"Shut up." I said lowering my voice and stepping back. "I can't believe you're blaming me. For everything they did. I haven't started anything, they were acting like a complete bastards... I just... couldn�t take it." I said. Why am I telling him this? It looks like I'm making up exuses for myself and I don't need to exuse myself, I did nothing wrong. He should turn to them, to his 'best buddy' JaeJoong who punched him first. He should turn to his 'role model', Yunho, who picked so many fights with me, his hyung. I shouldn't have defended myself or what? Stupid Junsu.

Junsu looked at me. I looked back.

"I don't have anything to say to you. I have no regrets. If someone needs to apologize here it's them. And then I might consider forgiving them. Chances for that are incredibly low though." I smirked proudly and turned to leave the room. I stopped by the door. "Maybe you should talk to Changmin." I added quietly and with that went upstairs, to my room.

 

Changmin's P.O.V.

 

"Come in." I said quietly. I calmed down, but I was still angry at Yoochun. What gave him the right to act like that? I smiled as I saw Junsu slowly walk into my room. He looked sad and apologetic, although he had no reason for that. He shouldn't feel bad for his brother, but it looked like he was. It made me even more angry. Junsu walked in and closed the door behind him, then just stood there for a moment.

"Umm... are you okay?" he asked softly. I could tell he was feeling embarrassed for his brother. He was trying to straighten things for him. I needed some answers. I doubted Yoochun will give me some, so maybe Junsu was the right person for that.

"No." I answered simply. There was no point in hiding how I felt.

"I'm sorry." He replied.

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Yeah, well... I'm sorry Yoochun acted like that." I smirked and sighed.

"I know he's your brother, but you shouldn't come here and apologize instead of him."

"I know." He said quietly and looked down. I remained silent for a moment.

"But... maybe you can explain it to me." I finally said. "Why was he acting like that?"

"Actually, that's why I came." He said. Well, you could of said so in the first place. Junsu hesitated for a moment, then moved further into my room and sat down on my bed, next to me. "You shouldn't hang out with JaeJoong and Yunho." He said finally.

"What?" I raised my voice. "What is wrong with you guys?" I asked again, getting angry at Junsu now.

"Wait." He said calmly. "Let me explain." I opened my mouth to protest, but then changed my mind. I needed some answers anyway.

 

Junsu's P.O.V.

 

I hate Yoochun. I hate him for making me do this. He should've done that instead. I feel so bad, so dirty, I know it'll look like I agree with Yoochun, like I'm part of it. Oh well, I am, but not in that way. I never wanted it to be like this. I guess I have to tell him now. I know it probably won't mean a thing, Changmin will do whatever he wants to do. I felt stupid and embarrassed, but I started my story...

 

Changmin's P.O.V.

 

After he finished I couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you saying that he dragged me out of there because of some stupid rivalry thing?" I asked unbelievingly. "What is he? Eight?" I added. Seriously, that was so childish. I looked at Junsu. He was looking down. I have the feeling this was something he didn't want to do. And by the way he was telling that story I knew he didn't want to be a part of it. It made me even angrier at Yoochun. I can't believe this guy.

"Yeah... he's not the most mature person in the universe." Junsu replied chuckling. "But it's not entirely his fault... he's not the only one who's in it afterall." He added quickly. I looked at him. I couldn't believe he was still defending him. Junsu really was a great guy. And a great brother. I don't think Yoochun knows that. That idiot.

I didn't know what to say. The whole thing was ridiculous. And I knew Junsu knew that.

"I don't want to be part of it Changmin." He said quietly and I felt like he's been reading my mind. "It's stupid and I don't know how we ended up like this. We used to be bestest friends. I always wanted to go back to that. But that's just not gonna happen and it's killing me." He said, then suddenly looked up at me. "You're the first person I told this." He said and looked down again.

I nodded. I understood. It must have been hard for Junsu, but I didn't get why he didn't fight it. I didn't say anything.

"You shouldn't hang out with them." He repeated again. I didn't understand him, one moment he's telling one thing, the next totally opposite. "I know I shouldn't tell you this and I know you probably won't listen to me. But for the sake of us all... please..." he said looking back up at me. "I just want it to stop. We've been avoiding fights for some time now. With you standing between us, it's gonna start all over again."

I still didn't dare to speak up. I understood what Junsu was saying, but I couldn't agree with him, I couldn't say that I will stay away from JaeJoong and Yunho.

"Well... that's all that I wanted to say to you." Junsu said standing up. "Don't give Yoochun a hard time." He added quietly and started walking to the door. Before he came out he spoke up again. "Think about it, please." I nodded as he left me staring at the closed door.

 

Yunho's P.O.V.

 

I came back inside and found Jae bowling. Alone. I was a bit surprised, but quickly walked up to him.

"Hey, where�s Changmin?" I asked. He looked at me.

"Let's go home."

"But..."

"Don't ask, just pick up your stuff... I'll wait for you in the car." He said shortly as he changed his shoes rapidly and went outside.

 

JaeJoong's P.O.V.

 

Why didn't I stop him? Why did I let him drag Changmin like that? You're an idiot Jae. I know I'm not afraid of fighting with Park Yoochun, I can always teach him a lesson. He shouldn't mess with me and people around me. Why didn't I react? I didn't want to cause a scene in the middle of bowling alley? Nah, we did that before... I didn't want people to think I'm fighting with someone over a guy? No, everyone already knows I'm gay. I didn't want Changmin to think bad of me? Exactly.

Maybe you won the battle Park Yoochun... but you certainly didn't win the war.

 

Yunho's P.O.V.

 

We reached JaeJoong's house. I sighed slightly.

"What's wrong?" Jae instantly asked. I faked a smile.

"Nothing, I just feel a bit tired." I lied. The truth was... I didn't want to come in. I knew JunKi will be there and after today... I needed to clear my head. Spend some time alone, away from him. Okay, maybe not exactly from him, but from him and JaeJoong together. I was jealous of JaeJoong. Sadly, I was. I was jealous of his relationship with hyung.

"Are you coming?" Jae asked as we stepped out of the car.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna go home." I replied.

"Oh... alright... then I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'll see you." I replied managing another smile. JaeJoong smiled back. I knew he wasn't exactly feeling like smiling after what happened with Changmin and Yoochun, but I also knew that meeting Changmin gave him strength. He was actually going back to the old Jae we all knew. Jae before the-what's-her-name-again. That's right, she died for all of us after what she did to him. I don't like to remember her name, she's irrelevant now. Anyway, as I turned around and headed to my house I knew that JaeJoong was regaining his old strength. I knew Park Yoochun won't get away with this so easily.


	10. Chapter 10

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho! Wait!" I heard Jae yelling behind me as I went out of my house.  
  
"Hey!" I said as he caught up.  
  
"I thought you'll stop by before school." He said looking at me as he stopped walking and well, I had to as well.  
  
"Yeah, well..." I started trying to think of some excuse quickly, but my mind wasn't working properly. "I... was late." I continued as a thought crossed my mind. "Yeah, I overslept and then I had to rush and... oh look at the time..." I said glancing at my watch. "... we're gonna be late."  
  
JaeJoong looked at me weirdly.  
  
"What are you talking about? The class starts in like... half an hour." He said calmly, but that suspicious look of his didn't leave his face. "Besides, we'll get there in a minute if we take my car." He added.  
  
"And JunKi hyung will come with us?" I asked. I could see the look on JaeJoong's face changed from suspicious to worried and maybe also confused.  
  
"Of course." He replied slowly as his eyes were searching for something on my face. He looked like he was trying to figure something out.  
  
"Why are you asking?" He asked. "I'm not talking about JunKi going with us now, just... you've been asking about hyung a lot lately." He finished. I didn't quite paid attention to that. But if Jae noticed then maybe JunKi hyung did too and well, it made me feel good. I wanted him to know how much I care. I would never say it, but if he can feel it, then that's enough for me.  
  
I didn't quite know how to respond to that.  
  
"I just care, he's my hyung too." I said. I didn't really mean to say that to JaeJoong. I never was good at expressing my feelings, let alone talk about them. Especially not with Jae. We were best friends and I didn't have closer person then him. Except maybe JunKi hyung. But still, I was always the tough one, while Jae was the fragile one. Not to mention that everything that happened to him affected me in some sort of a weird way. I guess that's what it's like when you're close to someone the way I am with JaeJoong.  
  
I knew that he was interested in everything that was going on in my life just like I was in everything that was going on in his. We just never actually talked about it. Afterall he had Junki hyung for that and in a way, I had him too. That's why I hesitated talking about hyung and my thoughts and feelings. Normally person that I would come to first would be JunKi, but since this was about him, I decided to keep the whole thing to myself. However, it looks like I wasn't very good at it.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was pretty sure Yunho didn't care about JunKi in a way my hyung would like him to. I also knew Yunho will never talk about his thoughts and feelings, the privilege of getting that kind of information from him belonged to JunKi hyung only. But lately I couldn't help but notice a change in Yunho's behaviour. I was confused and realization that hyung liked him didn't help much. I wanted to know what's going on. The two of them meant world to me. They've always been there for me, especially when I went through the hardest time of my short life. Anyway, Yunho started to act a bit strange, I didn't get all that attention he's been paying to JunKi all of a sudden. I noticed hyung acting cold and trying to avoid him, but once I found out the right reason it became clear. But Yunho... he's been giving me some trouble now. I wonder what's going on in that head of his.  
  
I was surprised he told me he cared. I never thought he'd admit he cares about someone so easily. Let alone someone like us, JunKi and me. Of course we knew he cares about us. Actually, right now I don't know if hyung knows that. But that's the most normal thing to me. We grew up together, we've been friends for as long as we can remember. The feeling itself is there, but saying it outloud... especially Yunho... it was just weird.  
  
Yunho has always been indoor type of person. Yeah, he might be an uhljjang and extremely outgoing around a lot of people, especially people he just met. But when it came to his feelings, his true self he was totally unreachable. No one could know what he was thinking or feeling or what he's gonna do next. Well, almost no one. Because the only person Yunho would open to was none other then Junki hyung.  
  
I didn't say anything, but I guess Yunho could see a slight look of shock on my face. He rolled his eyes in frustration.  
  
"What? I said I care about hyung. It's not like... new." he said.  
  
"Umm... yeah, I know, we all care about each other... but I never heard you actually say it." I replied. Okay, maybe I was getting a wrong impression here... but why does it feel like there is something more going on here? I mean, yeah, it's probably just me wanting to help my brother now that I found out he's actually in love with this guy, but I don't know... suddenly I'm not so sure about Yunho. Can homosexuality be contagious?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yeah, well, I said it now." I replied quickly and glanced at the watch. "Let's go."  
  
"Yeah... my car is that way." He said pointing in the opposite direction from me.  
  
"I actually wanted to walk." Alone.  
  
"Oh come on... Hyung is already waiting for us." He said and I didn't really have other choice then to give in.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Him again. How am I supposed to forget about him and like... move on if he's around me all the time? He spends so much time with us that sometimes I wonder why didn't he move in in the first place. Of course, that would be a terrible idea, since that way I would never be able to stop thinking about him or looking at him in any way other then what I'm looking at him like now. Sadly, chances for that to happen even now are extremely low. I don't know how I could let myself fall for him... and fall so hard... How pathetic...  
  
"Hey, hyung, I won't come home right after school... I kind of..." JaeJoong trailed off. We were in a school hallway, on our way to lunch. I looked at him and raised my eyebrow. A playful smirk appeared on my lips.  
  
"Have a date?" I asked still looking at him.  
  
"Well, yeah... I'm actually not sure if it's really a date... but it looks like it." He started rambling slightly, I chuckled softly, trying not to look like I was mocking him.  
  
"Changmin?" I asked lowering my voice a little bit. This school walls had ears.  
  
He nodded and smiled. I smiled back and put my arm around his shoulder as we walked up to our table.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Okay, so he didn't listen to me. To us. I turned to Junsu, who was slightly dozing off as he was leaning against the table. I wasn't sure if he was doing it on purpose or if he was truly napping. I nudged him a bit, and he glared at me.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"You did talk to him right?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then how do you explain that?" I asked pointing to the table in front of us. He took a quick look, then layed back down.  
  
"Look, if you have a problem with it, then talk to him yourself." And with that he turned away from me and continued to sleep.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I wasn't sleeping at all. It just felt better not to look at anyone around me. Not Yoochun, not Yunho, not Changmin and especially not JaeJoong. I think that the only person I would be able to handle at the moment would be JunKi hyung. I glanced at him a couple of times, carefully, so no one could notice me, but he did and he just gave me a slight nod. A nod that was so full of understanding. I felt like crying right there. Like when I was just a little kid who was picked on by everyone, even his own hyung. The only person that never ever did that was JunKi. The only person that never did anything to harm me, the person who was always just there for me. The only person I felt I could lean on completely, the only person in front of whom I felt I could cry freely and laugh uncontrollably. The only person who knew my secret. Lee JunKi.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was really nervous. JaeJoong and me were on our way to the cinema. I kept looking at him smiling. I'm nervous and confused. These feelings I'm getting are not right, I know that. But I can't help it, I think I... oh god, I can't even think about it. But damn... I... I think... I kind of... like him.  
  
I don't care what Yoochun or Junsu say. This guy is everything but bad. Actually, Junsu never said he's bad. Just because of that stupid rivalry thing they want to keep me away from him. That's just so... ridiculous.  
  
I feel weird. Confused, but... somehow happy. And I'm so not gonna brush that feeling off, cause it makes me feel so good. And if it feels so good... how can it be bad?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled back at Changmin. His smile gives me butterflies. Damn, I have to control myself. But I'm not sure I'll be able to do that.  
  
We're gonna watch 'The King and The Clown'. How appropriate, right? Yeah, well, maybe... we'll see. I'm afraid to go for it. I really don't think he'll accept me. But there is something in his smile that gives me hope. Sweet expectation. It's killing me.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the house. It was freakishly quiet, making me wonder where is everybody. Junsu disappeared somewhere. He had a habit of doing that from time to time and well, I must say my dongsaeng never gave me trouble, so I never questioned him. I knew he'll come back in time to make dinner. If not for me, then for Changmin. Junsu has always been a great person. People might think I don't know that, I don't appreciate him enough and all, but that's not true. I know my brother, he's the sweetest person on earth. He's just so innocent and well, naive, it just makes me worry about him sometimes.  
  
But right now, the person I'm worrying about is Changmin. Well, when I think about it I'm not sure if that's just simple worry or jealousy. I have the feeling that it's latter. Of course I don't want it to be, but I can't help it, so I'm not even gonna try. I wonder where he is now. I don't want to think about it, I want to fight it, push those thoughts out of my mind. Actually, I wish he never came here, I wish I didn't have the chance to meet him. The sexiest person on the earth. That adorable dork. Shim Changmin.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
We finally walked into the cinema. I, of course, had a huge bag of popcorn with me. Come on, how can I survive a movie without any food? Impossible. Although, with JaeJoong next to me... miracles are possible. Right?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
We sat down. The movie started. I couldn't concentrate on it as much as I was trying to. I kept glancing at him, resisting the urge to... damn, I can't resist it.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was trying my best to focus on the movie. It was actually really really good. Just when it was getting more interesting, I felt an arm around my shoulders. I shivered instantly and looked at JaeJoong, but he looked like he was paying attention to the movie. When just moments ago I could feel his eyes on me. I smiled glancing back at the screen as I scooted a bit closer to him, feeling blood rushing to my head.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I don't know why, but I felt slightly embarrassed. Well, probably because it was my first time going out with a guy. I looked straight ahead, pretending to watch the movie, when all I wanted was to look at him. I knew I mustn't look at him though, I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself if I did. And then... who knows what can happen.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
He stayed like that, but I felt his hand gently pulling me closer to him. I smiled lightly and glanced at the people around us. The cinema was practically empty and we were in the back row. I guess not a lot of people come to cinema at this hour, afterall, we came here right after school. I was actually happy that we were almost alone here. I turned to him.  
  
"Hyung..." I started not really knowing what to say, I guess I just wanted him to look at me.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked looking back and I smiled. We were so close and those feelings I was both happy and afraid of came to me in such an intensity... It hit me then. I was truly turning gay. I was scared to admit it to myself, but those feelings were there. They were real and I just needed one more thing to confirm them.  
  
And as if he was reading my mind he started leaning closer to me. I stared at him for a moment, as his face was coming closer and closer to mine. For a brief second I was trying to fight myself, but it was too hard to resist it. The next thing I knew... his lips were on mine.


	11. Chapter 11

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I kissed him. I was so afraid. Afraid that he'll reject me. That he'll push me away and never talk to me again. So I hesitated a bit, but no such thing happened. Actually, after a couple of seconds he kissed me back. I was a bit surprised, but happy. I relaxed a bit and pulled him closer slightly, carefully. I didn't want to go too fast. He could still push me away. I was expecting for it to happen, but as seconds passed I got more sure of what I was doing.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
As his lips made contact with mine I felt butterflies rush into my stomach and slight shiver go through my whole body. I was excited and sure of what's happening. I didn't want to pull away. I felt that he wanted this, maybe even more then me, but he hesitated because he didn't know how I'll react. If he expected from me to pull away he was wrong. I didn't want to. I wasn't going to.  
  
As he pulled me closer I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him back softly. I never made out with a girl, let alone with a guy, so I didn't quite know what to do, I just followed his lead. And I never expected it to be this good.  
  
Oh god... I am gay.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Finally, I pulled away, but didn't let go of him. I turned back to the screen and a small smile appeared on my lips as I felt his eyes on me. It felt extremely good. As always. Just... even better then usually.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at him and smiled as well. I was happy. I was slightly dizzy and my head was a mess, but I never experienced this type of satisfaction before and that was enough for me. I felt free. Snuggling closer to him I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling his hand going up to my hair and relaxed.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I had so much stuff on my mind and I was getting tired of this feeling. I was slightly... lost. I didn't want to feel this way anymore, it made me so sick. Also, I hated keeping it in myself, but I had to. Of course, I couldn't talk about it with Yunho. And JaeJoong... well, I was always listening to his problems and tried to help him, I never felt very comfortable with opening myself to him. He was my younger brother, I felt like I should set an example for him and only be there for him, not the other way around. I just didn't want to bug him with my problems.  
  
I walked into a park close to my house. This place always gave me comfort, it was like my oasis. Not to mention that it was empty most of the time. Abandoned by everyone except me... and one more person. We were exactly like that. Abandoned and lonely. Lee Jun Ki and... Kim Junsu.  
  
  
"Hey."  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Oh, you came." He replied looking at me and giving me a small smile. Sometimes it was scary how his eyes reflected my own. I felt everything all over again, my burden, his understanding. But there was more to it.  
  
"Of course." I replied smiling back.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He was amazing, he was always able to put on that mask and never let anyone see what he hides inside himself. No one knew. But me.  
  
I sighed. I wanted to be like him. Since we were in this together. Of course, he didn't know that yet. I still couldn't tell him. I don't know why, but it was hard to talk about it. Even with Junsu. But the point is, I wanted to be like him, look like him - always cheerful, always looking like nothing's wrong. When the truth was completely opposite.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Have you been waiting for me for a long time?" I asked. I didn't like to let people wait, especially hyung. Out of all people he didn't deserve that.  
  
"No... I just came earlier then usual." He replied. We sat down.  
  
"So, what's going on?" I asked.  
  
"A lot." He replied shortly. I nodded. It didn't surprise me. We haven't seen each other in a while. I didn't count occasional meetings in school. Those were just quick glances. He was letting me know he's there. I'm not alone. That was everything I needed.  
  
He sighed and looked at me.  
  
"How have you been?" He asked.  
  
"I've been... okay. Actually, not so bad at all." I replied. I learned a long time ago that I can tell him everything. That's why he was the only one who knew everything about me. Including my biggest secret.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"That's good." I smiled and nodded. I was debating if I should tell him or not. I never wanted to burden anyone with my problems, but Junsu was the only one I could trust. The only one I could tell everything. And the only one who could understand me.  
  
"You on the other hand don't look good at all." He said. "Are you okay hyung? What's going on?" he asked. I could hear concern in his voice. I sighed. This was so hard.  
  
"I'm not okay." I replied finally. I looked at him and he looked afraid for a moment. He must've thought I'm sick or something. "No, no, nothing's wrong with me." I added quickly. "Don't worry, I don't want you to worry about me." I said. "I called you to meet me because I have something to tell you."  
  
I noticed him relax a little bit. He was watching me, waiting patiently for me to continue.  
  
"I can't keep it in myself anymore, I have to tell someone and you're the only person I could fully trust." I continued. I saw him smile warmly at me and that only encouraged me. "Also you're the only one that can understand me completely. Especially now." I added.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Oh god, that doesn't sound good. That doesn't sound good at all. If that's something that only I can understand, then no wonder he looks like that. So devastated, so... lost. The feeling is too familiar, I would never wish to anyone to feel like that. And Junki... no, he's the one person that doesn't deserve that.  
  
I swallowed, waiting for the rest.  
  
"I'm in love with Yunho."  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the house and went straight to the kitchen. I was a bit surprised not to see Junsu there, I've been living with him and Yoochun for a couple of days, but I already learned that Junsu was spending too much time in the kitchen. Opening the fridge I took some soda and started drinking. I felt so good. I never thought I'll end up liking guys, but JaeJoong wasn't just any guy.  
  
I turned around and let out a small gasp.  
  
"You startled me." I said and then walked past him, into the living room. I was still mad at him, but I never was a person who was able to avoid people. I knew I won't chat cheerfully with Yoochun, but if he asks me something or starts to talk I might reply.  
  
"Sorry." I heard him say. Sorry for what? Scaring me or being a complete jerk yesterday? Or is it always? I didn't reply. I just sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. He walked up to me.  
  
"Where have you been?" he asked. He tried to make it sound as politely as possible, but I sensed a hint of... I don't know what... anger, annoyance...  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
...jealousy. It's eating me again. I wanted to know what has he been up to since we finished with classes today. I couldn't find him anywhere and then, when I came home there was no sign of either him nor Junsu. I wanted to assume that they were together, but that of course wasn't true.  
  
"It's none of your business." He replied, then sighed.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't mean to sound rude, it just came out like that. What's that to him? He should just leave me alone. He began to irritate me, the last thing I wanted is for him to ruin my perfect day. I had a great day, really... I don't know what me and JaeJoong are now, but whatever that is I'm satisfied. And I'm not letting Yoochun ruin that for me.  
  
"Were you with him?" he asked. He sounded like a jealous girlfriend. If it was some other situation I'd have laughed. I looked at him weirdly, but didn't say a thing.  
  
"You were." He continued widening his eyes a bit and getting really mad. What is wrong with him? Anger issues? Definitely.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was desperately trying to control myself. But jealousy... it like tripled because it was JaeJoong-the-jerk taking the sexiest dork who's like... mine. Or at least he should be mine, since we're living together and all. Perfect match. I bet even our parents would be happy to see us together. Yeah, maybe not...  
  
He was looking at me like I was some kind of possessive freak. Which I probably was. But I don't care, I can't let him go to JaeJoong. That's just not right.  
  
"Yeah, I was with JaeJoong." He said finally and calmly looked back at the tv. "We went to the movies." He continued. Why do I have the feeling that he's trying to pi$$ me off?  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
At this point I really wanted to hurt him. Maybe then he'll leave me alone. Although... why would he be hurt? He has no reason for that. Angry and defeated yes, that's more like it. Well, whatever, anything just to make him stay away from me and my life.  
  
"You went to the movies with him?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"You shouldn't have... accepted that." He said angrily.  
  
"I haven't. I was the one who invited him." I said calmly, smirking a bit.  
  
"You... you what?" he yelled. I chuckled.  
  
"I invited him... and we had a great time." I continued. I don't know why I was this mean, but damn, Yoochun deserved it.  
  
"I'll kill him." I heard him say through the gritted teeth. He wasn't really talking to me and it was barely audible, but I still heard it. Now that made me really angry.  
  
"What the hell is your problem Yoochun?" I asked standing up and looking at him. "Can't you just leave me... leave us alone?"  
  
"What? No, I can't. I have to... wait, what do you mean us?" he asked.  
  
"I mean us... I... we're together." I blurted out. I didn't know if I should've told him that. For more then one reason. First, I didn't know how to tell him and Junsu that I'm gay. It was hard enough to admit it to myself. I'm so confused. Second, I wasn't really sure what JaeJoong thinks of our relationship. Heck, I didn't know what to think about it. I don't know what are we and here I said we're a couple. And third... I didn't know what would that make Yoochun feel like. For some reason... I cared.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
They're together? Oh... wow... what now?  
  
I stared at him.  
  
"You're what?" I asked.  
  
"We're..." he started again, but I didn't want to hear it.  
  
"I heard you the first time." I interrupted him quickly.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Weird. Awkward. Silence. And that look. It makes me feel uncomfortable. But it looks like it's not gonna go away. Along with that feeling. Oh well, I guess I should go... escape from it.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
He looked at me one last time, then glanced away and went upstairs. Leaving me speechless as the words we're together kept repeating in my head over and over again.


	12. Chapter 12

Flashback  
  
  
"Hyung..." Junsu said shaking his head as he glanced away from JunKi. Those weren't good news. Definitely not. He knew Yunho wasn't gay. He was surprised to find out JaeJoong is, but Yunho... he's like a manwhore. Wild life, different girl every night... never taking anyone seriously. He knew Yunho must've cared about JunKi, but not like this. He was positive Yunho will never turn gay. Junsu sighed. He didn't want to see JunKi hurt, but he was destined to be as long as he was in love with Yunho. He could see his best friend was already hurting. And a lot.  
  
"You don't have to say anything, I already know it all." JunKi replied quietly. Junsu nodded.  
  
"I know..." he replied not really knowing what else to say. Well, there wasn't much to say, everything he had on his mind JunKi already knew. It must have been torturing him. "Since... since when?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to hear that. He couldn't imagine for how long JunKi has been torturing himself with his feelings.  
  
"It has been... about half a year." JunKi replied quietly again. It looked like his voice was giving up on him. Like there was no point saying anything at all anymore. All he wanted to say was to confess his love to Yunho, but that was pointless. So, why talking?  
  
"Half a year?" Junsu repeated. "Oh god... why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
  
"I thought it'll pass." JunKi said smirking sadly. "I was trying to get away from him, forget him... I was basically fooling myself. How stupid..." he added sighing.  
  
"Hey, if you're stupid, that makes two of us." Junsu attempted to joke, but those words could only leave bitterness behind them. He was filled with bitterness, but he was hiding it so well, only JunKi was aware of it. He was always there for him, helping him. Now he wanted to help back, but Junsu knew there wasn't much to do. He knew what JunKi was feeling like. He's been going through the same for quite some time now. For too much time.  
  
JunKi smiled. His smile changed so much in these couple of months. It always seemed fake. People didn't notice, but Junsu knew. Now he discovered why it looked like that. Now he understood. Better then anyone else could.  
  
"So what are you going to do?" Junsu asked finally.  
  
"Try to act like you." JunKi answered simply, like it was the most normal thing ever, which surprised Junsu.  
  
"But... you know how that makes me feel..." he trailed off. It was hard talking about it, his heart ached as it was.  
  
"I know... but there's nothing else I can do." JunKi replied and looked at his friend. "Don't you agree? It's for the best." Junsu nodded, again not knowing what to say. Junsu thought it was for the best in his case. In JunKi's... he wasn't so sure. But he remained silent. After a couple of moments JunKi smiled warmly again.  
  
"Thanks Junsu."  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into JaeJoong's house.  
  
"Hey guys... anyone home?" I called looking around. Well, the door was unlocked, so someone must've been here. After I checked the living room and kitchen I went upstairs. I peeked into Jae's room, but there was no one there. I headed to JunKi's room. I didn't bother to knock, so I simply walked in.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
After my meeting with Junsu I felt better. A lot better. He always made me feel good, that boy has always been so caring and innocent. But sad and hurt. He always needed my protection. Well, not particularly mine, anyone's actually. I just happened to be there. I always knew I couldn't do anything to help him, but listen. So that's what I've been doing for all these years. We grew to trust each other and it was a nice feeling. Actually, our meetings have always been so soothing. I was happy to have a friend like him and I knew he felt the same.  
  
This time around I needed him to listen to me. We switched our roles, but the feeling didn't go. I know I have Junsu, I will always have him.  
  
I walked back home slowly, feeling like a large burden was taken off of me. I felt relaxed.  
  
Walking into my room I took off my clothes and went to the bathroom. After taking a shower I came back with nothing but a towel wrapped around my waist, my hair still slightly wet. I started looking for something to wear. Just then the door of my room opened and someone stepped in. I didn't bother turning around as I kept looking for my pants.  
  
"How was your date, Jae?" I asked cheerfully, but since I didn't get a reply I decided to turn around.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Holy sh.it...  
  
I was standing right beside the door, slightly unsure if I should walk out of JunKi's room or not. I mean, I knew it would probably look weird, but right now I felt even weirder. Like ten times weirder. Uncomfortable... and god, what is this feeling? I could feel my pants tighten slightly and I widened my eyes at both the sensation that went through my body and the sight in front of me.  
  
Damn Jung Yunho... say something. You're making this situation even more awkward then it already is. Yeah, right... like that's possible. But seriously, why couldn't I say a thing? Why couldn't he? We just stared at each other and I swallowed hard, then glanced away, not being able to take it anymore. Just the sight of JunKi hyung half naked was enough to pull me off my tracks... that's just... so wrong. Beyond wrong. Why Yunho? Hyung's face might have something girlish, but his body was screaming 'man'. And damn... what a man...  
  
I am a conceited jerk. I admit it. I'm actually kind of proud of it. Not me being conceited, just... being myself. Every time I look at the mirror I see this handsome young man looking back and I can't help but smirk at my own hotness. But JunKi hyung... he looked so sexy. It's not wrong if I call another man sexy, right? He just looked... perfect. Compared to him I'm just an ugly self-absorbed boy with a lot of confidence.  
  
"Hi hyung." I finally said. I guess I regained a bit of my normal self after some time of looking everywhere but at him.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
What the heck? Yunho in my room? And... Oh god, I was practically naked. But I couldn't move. I felt slightly embarrassed. Not because he saw me, I guess it didn't mean much to him, but because I was again exposed. Believe me, that's an awful feeling. I felt so small and weak and nothing like the hyung he wanted me to be. Especially not like someone he would fall for, even if he was a gay. I should stop... I don't know... hoping? Fooling myself? Spending time with him? Looking at him? Dreaming about him? Loving him? What exactly should you stop JunKi? Everything. Nothing. I would stop... if only it's possible.  
  
"Hi." I replied coming back to my senses. "Jae is not here." I added quickly.  
  
"Oh, yeah... he has a date, right?" he asked. He's his best friend, how could he forget?  
  
"Yeah, with Changmin." I replied, although he must've already known that.  
  
"Yeah... well, I came to see you anyway." He said finally looking back at me.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yeah, I should end this staring now. Stop the damn looking Yunho.  
  
"Umm... I'll wait for you downstairs." I said and quickly walked out of the room. Oh god... I headed downstairs quickly. I had the weird feeling that if I don't do so JunKi will come out of his room after me or something. Once I entered the kitchen and drank a glass of water I relaxed. I glanced down at my pants and shook my head.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He came to see me? Weird. The moment he went out of the room I felt myself inhaling deeply and closing my eyes in relief. I shivered lightly. Suddenly I was extremely cold.  
  
Quickly, I got dressed and went downstairs. I found Yunho in the kitchen, sitting on the counter. I gave him a small smile. It's really a miracle how that conversation with Junsu calmed me down. I could even look at Yunho's eyes and hide the pain that used to burst right out of my eyes before that encounter in the park. However, I was sure my smile was still pretty fake. Yunho either didn't notice it or choose to ignore it for all this time. Either way, I was satisfied.  
  
"Hey again." I said stupidly. Sometimes I remind myself of those fangirls. How disgusting.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled back. He leaned on the wall across from me and looked me into eyes. It felt good, for once he was listening to me.  
  
"Hey..." I replied. "So, how are you?" I asked. That's why I was here. To see if he was okay. I had to push the thought of him and JaeJoong being closer then me and him, I needed to see if he truly was okay. It was stronger then any jealousy I might have been feeling.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said still smiling. That smile is nothing like him, it annoys me. Where is that famous JunKi smile? The one that fascinated me so much when I was just a little boy? The one that always made me feel better? This one was so fake, such a bad copy of the original.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Of course." He said smiling broadly. It looked like his smile and his eyes were fighting with each other. Eyes gave me slightly painful look, they were trying to lie to me as well, but they were so pure and unable to lie, truth was still spilling from them. Smile was fighting to beat that, and damn, it was a good fighter. JunKi nearly fooled me.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I wish he could stop staring at me so intensely. It makes me feel uncomfortable again. I'm exposed again. How many times? I'm sick of it. But I know I can't back away, he won't let me. I know he's reading me, I'm an open book to him. Why? Why can't I be like Junsu?  
  
We stayed silent. He glanced away and took another sip of his water. Then looked back at me for a moment and that look had a hint of disappointment. It surprised me. I didn't get it. Suddenly he stood up.  
  
"I should be going." He said quietly and headed for the door.  
  
"I'll tell Jae you came by." I replied.  
  
"You don't have to." He said shortly, a little bit coldly, and walked out of the house. What happened?  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
JunKi took my car and didn't even wait for me. I don't know what my brother was up to, but this wasn't anything like him. I sighed as I walked out of the house. Good thing I woke up earlier this morning. Actually, I barely slept. Thinking too much about Changmin I guess.  
  
As I turned into that creepy dark alley I smirked. Of course, I could expect this.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I thought I made myself clear last time." I said glaring at him. Stupid bastard, he doesn't get what I'm saying?  
  
"I'm not in the mood for our little games Park Yoochun." He replied cockily. I knew what he meant, but that sentence actually sounded nasty, reminding me of something else (yeah, call me a perv) and I made a disgusted face. I might be gay and he might be gay, but I would never step that low.  
  
"I told you to stay away from him." I repeated. "And you didn't."  
  
"Of course I didn't. Since when am I listening to you?" he said laughing a little. You think this is a joke Kim JaeJoong?  
  
"How about since now?" I replied stepping closer and punching him in the stomach. The impact caused him to bent down and he looked at me angrily, before he swayed his fist and it made contact with my jaw. I winced in pain and backed off a bit, but then got ready for another attack.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
God, this guy just doesn't get it... stupid Park bit.ch...  
  
"You know you'll get beaten up like always." I smirked again. Beating Park Yoochun was so easy, the guy never learned to fight well. And yet, he was so good at starting it. Of course, he wasn't the only one. But he was the stupid one. A person would think he'd back off, forget about it. But no. He just kept going. Well, Yunho was too. In this whole thing only Junsu was standing aside and that always amazed me. I don't know how, but he kept staying out of it.  
  
"You wish." He replied hitting me across the cheek. I fell down. "Bit.ch." I murmured.  
  
"Sorry? I thought it's you." He said smirking.  
  
I got up and swayed my hand in order to hit him again, but he ducked easily and instead grabbed onto my jacket and pinned me against the wall. I was surprised to find out he was this strong. I couldn't quite move. He shot me an angry glare.  
  
"I don't know what you think you're doing. I don't care. Just stay away from Changmin." He said through his teeth.  
  
"What's that to you? It's Changmin's and my business." I replied angrily.  
  
"It's not just your business."  
  
"Are you jealous or something? You're not gay are you?" I asked. I wouldn't be surprised actually. I never saw him with a girl for a long time. That could mean he was a player like Yunho, but I doubted it. Yet he had so many fangirls. Poor stupid souls.  
  
His face expression changed a little bit, I guess he didn't expect me to find out. But it was clear he was. I smirked.  
  
"Oh, you are." I said amusingly. "How disgusting."  
  
"Shut up. If anyone here is disgusting it's you. The day you became gay was a sad day for a gay community." He replied as he regained his 'scary face'. I couldn't help but smirk. Am I getting to him? By dating Changmin?  
  
"I'm repeating to you, stay away from Changmin. This is the third time I'm telling you this." He said.  
  
"It's not your business." I replied calmly. "This is the second time I'm telling you this." I added emphasizing word 'you'. Funny conversation? You wouldn't think so if you were pinned to the wall as I was. But I agree it's becoming ridiculous.  
  
"It is my business." He replied. "Changmin lives with me."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smirked at his shocked expression and let go of him. I started walking to school, leaving a dumbfounded Kim Jerk behind me. Bastard deserved it.


	13. Chapter 13

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I don't know what happened. Yunho suddenly acts so cold around me. It bothers me, but if that means that we won't spend much time alone then I'm fine with it. I need to forget him somehow. I know it's gonna be hard. Extremely hard. But nothing is impossible, right?  
  
This morning I've decided to take JaeJoong's car. And leave before him. Yunho probably came by as every morning, to go to school together. I wanted to avoid that. So, I woke up really early, made breakfast for Jae and quickly sneaked out of the house. I had like... an hour before school and I just went for a ride. I needed to clear my mind. And enjoy my morning for once. I haven't in such a long time, ever since I realized I liked Yunho. Every morning became a small torture for me, he managed to be the first person I see every morning. Yes, the first. Since JaeJoong is a lazy @ss, by the time he comes downstairs Yunho is already in the kitchen with me, waiting for him. Well, this morning, I did what it took to change that.  
  
While I was driving around the block I spotted a familiar slim figure passing by. I smiled and stopped the car, then called out for him.  
  
"Changminah!"  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I turned around and smiled at JunKi. I walked over to his car.  
  
"Hey JunKi." I greeted him cheerfully and he smiled.  
  
"Come on, I'll drive you to school." He replied. Well, yeah, I guess we're going there together.  
  
I stepped into the car and he started the engine again.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So, what's up? How do you like it here so far?" I asked. I was curious. We haven't really talked much and I wanted to get to know him. He's dating my dongsaeng afterall.  
  
"I love it." He replied and I must have made a weird facial expression since he quickly added. "I really do." I chuckled. "Yeah, I mean, people are cool... well, most of them. And JaeJoong is great." He continued. I smiled, it felt slightly weird to talk to my brother's boyfriend about him, but I guess I'll have to get used to that.  
  
"Yeah, I know... he can be a brat sometimes, though." I joked. "To tell you the truth I didn't think you'll like our school." I added. "You know... because of the whole rivalry going on."  
  
He remained silent for a moment, then sighed.  
  
"Yeah, that's really stupid." He finally said. I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road. "You have never been a part of it right?" he asked looking at me.  
  
"Of course not." I said smiling. "I tried to talk to JaeJoong and make him apologize, try to get it over with... but those boys are just too stubborn." I paused. "I feel bad for Junsu, he has never been a part of it, he was dragged into it." I added quietly. That was a part of the reason I was always there for Junsu. I had to stick by his side, we were in this together in some weird, twisted and absolutely wrong way. But then again, something good came out of that rivalry - thanks to that I had my best friend, it brought me and Junsu closer. That and something else.  
  
Changmin listened to me as if he was trying to comprehend what I was saying. I guess he didn't think Jae would be so stubborn to continue with this thing.  
  
"When I think about it... everyone are trying to figure out whose fault was it in the first place. But they're equally guilty. Jae for starting it - as much as Junsu tries to prove that Yoochun did, it's not true. If Jae didn't hit Junsu nothing would happen, the fight would end there and that would be it. Or Yoochun, for being so stubborn and proud. Maybe even jealous. JaeJoong has always been better then him, everyone considered him better, even Junsu looked up at him before Yoochun. Or was it Yunho, keeping mocking, fighting, going on with it and actually finding satisfaction in it? I can't say, I really think that they're all equally guilty. If there was just one of them who at some point came to his senses, this thing wouldn't last this long. Nor turn into something this nasty. Junsu and I... we couldn't do anything." I said quietly. It was more like talking to myself. I've been thinking about it a lot and well... Changmin needed to know that.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
There wasn't much to say. I understood JunKi. I mean, I heard the whole story from Junsu, but JunKi kind of explained it to me, it became clear all of the sudden.  
  
"Thanks JunKi." I said smiling as I opened the car door and stepped out, walking into the school.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What happened to you?" Changmin asked me with a worried look on his face.  
  
"Nothing." I replied. "We'll talk later." I added quickly. I didn't want him to ask unnecessary questions. He didn't need to know everything. Oh well, he'll find out anyway. But what really bugged me now was that he was living with Park idiots and he didn't tell me a thing. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. Especially the fact that one of them was a horny bastard. Just great.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Something happened. I know that. He must've gotten into a fight because of me. I wouldn't be surprised Yoochun caused this all. Now I have the feeling Jae is mad at me. I don't know, I just feel weird.  
  
I glanced at Yoochun and Junsu. Junsu looked at me and shook his head sadly. I felt guilt hitting me. But why? Why do I have to be in the middle of it all. It's stupid, it was even before I came, now it's even worse.  
  
My eyes met Yoochun's. He glared. I guess he's angry. Correction - still angry. Well, when is he not?  
  
I sighed and looked back at hyung. I reached over and placed my hand on top of his, causing him to look at me. I became aware of the whispers all of the sudden.  
  
"Did you see that?"  
  
"Oh no... Changminnie is gay too?"  
  
"Are they dating?"  
  
"Hyerim saw them kissing in the cinema yesterday."  
  
Oh, so they saw us. Surprisingly, I don't mind. I smiled at JaeJoong. He smiled back, but it wasn't as cheerful and bright as yesterday. Something definitely happened. And I'm gonna find out what.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho! Wait." JaeJoong called me. I turned around.  
  
"Hey." I said. "What's up?"  
  
"Oh nothing... much... usual stuff." He replied. I noticed a bruise on his face.  
  
"Park Yoochun?" I asked. He nodded.  
  
"I already said... usual stuff."  
  
"What happened?" I asked. I could see something was troubling him, he was slightly worried.  
  
"Well, actually... he told me Changmin lives with them."  
  
I nearly chocked on my milkshake as I widened my eyes at him.  
  
"What? Seriously?"  
  
"I don't think he'd lie. I mean, he knows I can easily ask Changmin." He said shrugging. "I don't know. I want to talk to him about it, but it's a bit hard, don't you think?"  
  
"Yeah... but you have to talk to him about it. Why didn't he tell you?" I said.  
  
"Exactly. That's what I want to ask him. I mean, seriously... my boyfriend is living with my worst enemies. That's like... the worst thing ever." He said exaggerating a little bit. Park bit.ches were our enemies, but Changmin living with them didn't have to mean anything.  
  
"What? Boyfriend?" I asked shocked. "Am I missing something here?"  
  
He chuckled. I knew what that chuckle means.  
  
"Well... haven't you heard the rumours?"  
  
"They are true?" I asked even more shocked. They've been making out in the cinema? Woah, that Shim Changmin had some guts. Jae simply nodded, then started walking away.  
  
"I'll see ya later Yunho! Thanks." He called leaving me there... I wonder where JunKi hyung is... Does he know about this?  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Roof. I knew I'll find JunKi here. I stood still, looking at him in front of me for a couple of moments. He looked like he's been deep in his thoughts, he didn't even notice me standing behind him.  
  
"Hyung..." I started, wanting to break the silence. He turned around.  
  
"Oh hey." He replied trying to smile.  
  
"What's with that pity attempt of a smile?" I asked joking. I didn't feel like joking and I knew he didn't either, but I had to try.  
  
"Yunho's... cold." He said. The statement was weird, but I understood what he meant. I nodded.  
  
"How does that make you feel?"  
  
"Easier... free... miserable." He whispered the last word and I nodded again. I hated just nodding, without saying anything, it made me feel like people would think I don't care just because I have nothing to say.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He understood as always. And I just needed him to listen. So, yeah, I should be satisfied, I let it out again. But damn, I'm so desperate. I looked at him, I was actually screaming for help, but no one could hear me. Except Junsu of course. Doubting that was out of the question.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I hated not being able to talk, although we didn't need to talk in order to understand each other. I simply hugged him and we stayed like that for a couple of moments. Until I heard him whisper.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked home, trying not to think about Changmin. I was trying not to pay attention to those feelings. At least not at the moment. I had to think about it all first, make some sort of a plan to break them apart. Yeah, right... everybody knows that I suck at planning things. I'm just dumb like that. But there must be a way to push JaeJoong away from Changmin. And I'm gonna find it.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"How are you?" I asked. We were still standing on the roof, but I calmed down and realized how selfish I was for these past couple of days.  
  
"Fine." Junsu replied shrugging.  
  
"Are you sure?" I asked again. This conversation has been going on over and over again. It was funny how we always asked the same questions and replied to them the same way. I guess many years of friendship did that to us.  
  
"Yeah. I'm surprised I am." He said smiling.  
  
"But... you heard, right?" I hesitated to ask him. Most fragile subject. I was afraid Junsu will break down any time now. I had to be careful, I didn't want my best friend to shutter into pieces because of me and my dumb questions.  
  
"Mmhmm." He nodded. "There is nothing I could do. Nor I want to. It's none of my business."  
  
"You're hurting." I stated looking down. If only I could help him. He didn't say a thing. Proving that I'm right. I sighed.  
  
"It'll pass." He lied to himself. Exactly like I did. He even gave me a smile. It was painful... but I smiled back.


	14. Chapter 14

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I waited for JaeJoong to pick up his stuff and walk home with me. I smiled as he approached me, but he again had a serious expression on his face. It bothered me, but I remained quiet. He said we'll talk, so I decided to wait patiently for that to happen.  
  
However, we kept walking in silence. It bothered me more and more with every step we made, but I kept looking straight ahead of me, without saying a word. Finally we reached my street and JaeJoong stopped walking. I did the same and looked at him.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you live with Park brothers?" he asked. I was a bit surprised he knew, but then again, it wasn�t something I was hiding. Just... I never hang out with Yoochun and Junsu in school, so people didn't see any possible connection between us.  
  
"I don't know... I didn't think it's important." I said honestly.  
  
"What do you mean? Of course it's important. Especially since you're..." he hesitated. I waited to see what's he gonna say. "... dating me." I smiled a bit.  
  
"It doesn't matter who I live with." I repeated.  
  
"How can you say that? I mean... they're like... we despise each other." He said and I felt my heart racing. I might be mad at Yoochun, I might be fighting with him all the time, but we're still friends. Some kind of weird friends, but still... Not to mention Junsu, he's just such a sweetheart, and JaeJoong here is telling me he despises them.  
  
"Don't talk like that about them." I said seriously. "Their parents and my parents are best friends, so my parents sent me to live with them. I'm grateful for that." I added. I truly was. Also, Junsu welcomed me like I was a part of the family, like their home is my home. I've never felt more comfortable and at ease like I did that day I came to Seoul. JaeJoong could say what he wants, but I'll never forget that.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Is he taking their side now? I can't believe it.  
  
"You're on their side?" I just had to ask.  
  
"You and your stupid rivalry. I'm not choosing sides. You made a big thing out of some stupid childhood game." He replied. "There are no sides in this, at least not for me."  
  
"It doesn't work that way." I said. He started to pi$$ me off. "And you're my boyfriend, you should be with me. You don't even spend time with them, I mean, you don't even know them all that good. Trust me, if you did you wouldn't be saying this."  
  
"Are you kidding me?" he laughed. "I know you for a couple of days. What makes you think I don't know them better?" he was right, but I had to bluff. "Yoochun might not be the smoothest person ever, but he still is caring and he welcomed me into his house. Junsu on the other hand is the sweetest person I've ever met. I really don't get why you're so stubborn about all this."  
  
As he described Park idiots to me I felt anger building up. I knew I won't be able to control myself soon. So I decided to find a way to calm myself down. I chose to ignore Changmin's words.  
  
"So, you're not planning to move out of that house?" I asked.  
  
"Move out?" He smirked. "Of course not. I don't have reason for that."  
  
"You don't have reason for that?" I asked unbelievingly. "I thought I meant something to you."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked looking into my eyes. I didn't really mean to say that, but I guess I reached the point of no return. I didn't want to answer that. Noticing me hesitate he smirked again. "I can't believe this. That house is my home now. I don't care if you have a problem with that. You can't control where I'm gonna live or who I'm gonna hang out with." He said. I stared at him. I was still angry, both at him and myself. I said too much, I knew I went too far. "I'll see you when you come to your senses." He said and turned away from me.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I heard door slamming shut and a moment later Jae appeared at the kitchen door.  
  
"What happened?" I asked looking at him. By the look on his face I could tell he was furious.  
  
"Did you know Changmin lives with Parks?" he asked.  
  
"How was I supposed to know that?" I asked. I usually did know what was going on in Junsu's house, but I guess he forgot to tell me. That actually surprised me, those were some big news. I was really surprised, Changmin staying with them just made things more complicated.  
  
"Well, he does." He said. Okay, I got it... but what happened? He didn't get in another fight right? I looked closely at his face. Of course he did. Yoochun wasn't gentle.  
  
"You and Yoochun had a little encounter?" I asked smirking a bit. I didn't mean to do so, but I didn't really care either. JaeJoong knew my opinion.  
  
He scoffed in return. "I don't care about that bit.ch. He can cause fights as much as he wants." He replied.  
  
"Then I guess you had a talk with Changmin." I assumed further. Something must have caused him to be this angry.  
  
"Bingo." He replied sarcastically and sat down, then buried his face into his hands.  
  
"It was that bad?" I asked. They just started dating and they were already fighting?  
  
"I said something I didn't mean to say." He said simply.  
  
"Big mouth of yours, ha? I kept telling you to watch what you're saying. Because of you not being careful we got in all this mess in the first place." I said. I didn't mean to lecture him, but somehow I always ended up like that, he got used to it by now.  
  
"Thanks umma, I didn't know." He said rolling his eyes. "But if you're referring to how everything started, then I must disagree. I might've been a jerk that day, but Yoochun was the one who continued with it." Yeah, this conversation has always been pointless. He never listened to me when it came to their rivalry, eventually I gave up even starting conversation about it.  
  
"Okay, so this thing with Changmin..." I went back to the point.  
  
"I don't know. I'll have to apologize." He said shrugging. "I acted a little bit... possessive."  
  
I nodded. I guess we were done with that subject. I looked at Jae. There was something I wanted to ask him. I couldn't bring myself to do it, but I was slightly worried. Okay, a lot.  
  
"Hey, have you seen Yunho today?" I asked, shifting a bit uncomfortably. I didn't like to talk about Yunho with Jae, it made me feel like he�ll figure it out. But I couldn't keep it inside. I wanted to know what's going on with him. Maybe he told Jae. But then again, if he did and if it was something involving me, I guess Jae won't tell me. Oh well, I could ask.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
JunKi, why are you asking about him? Why are you going on with this? I watched him. I could tell he was debating if he should ask or not and I knew he didn't feel comfortable talking about that with me. He didn't know I already knew. Maybe it's better if we don't talk about it.  
  
"Yeah, I saw him at school." I nodded. "Hey where did you disappear this morning?" I asked.  
  
"I just wanted to go for a ride before school." He shrugged. More like avoid meeting Yunho. Am I right JunKi?  
  
"Well, that was nice of you. I had to walk to the school all alone. And meet Park Yoochun on my way." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"What do you mean all alone? I thought Yunho will stop by, like he always does." He replied raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Yeah, well, he didn't." I replied looking at hyung. Something was going on here. Did I miss something?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He didn't come? Something really is going on. He's avoiding me. But why? I didn't do anything. Of course, it's better if I don't see him, maybe I'll be able to move on. But damn... it's bugging me now. I don't remember I did something wrong, something to make him mad at me... or to make him want to avoid me. I don't understand.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched as hyung drifted off to his thoughts. I wondered myself why Yunho didn't come, but I was so caught up with Changmin that I quickly forgot about it. But now when I put it together... JunKi leaving house early, Yunho not showing up... I don't know. Did something happen yesterday?  
  
I decided to break the silence.  
  
"Why are you asking about Yunho?" I asked. "I mean, did you guys get into a fight or something?" I added. "Did you get up earlier and went out because you didn't want to meet him?" I didn't care. I had to ask. I didn't want to say I knew about his feelings towards Yunho, but I could ask this. It didn't mean anything.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"No, we didn't have a fight... why would I be avoiding him? It's not like everything I do involves Yunho." I replied. Yeah, it definitely sounded strange. And I was nervous. I didn't want to show it, but it was stronger then me. I didn't want Jae to know I'm in love with his best friend. And he clearly was suspicious already. Well, I couldn't blame him, I've been acting weirdly lately. But Yunho did too. Jae must have been confused.  
  
"Okay." He said slowly, eyeing me carefully. I knew he wanted to understand what's going on with me and sometimes I had impression that he knew all along. He would just have that look on his face sometimes. The look Junsu gave me when he found out my secret. He wouldn't say it. But I knew.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I tried hard to control myself with every sentence that went out of my mouth. As I left JaeJoong behind me I quickly reached my house and went inside. Luckily no one was home yet, so I quickly went upstairs and into my room. I needed some peace to think about it all.  
  
I quickly took a shower, got dressed and layed down on my bed. The shower relaxed me, but I was still thinking about everything JaeJoong said to me. It was repeating in my head over and over again. I couldn't believe this rivalry got that far. They couldn't stand each other. And now it feels like they're fighting over me. Like I'm some stupid thing they need to win over, because it'll make them stronger or something.  
  
I don't know, if JaeJoong cares about me then why did he say those things? Why was he making me choose? You don't do that to someone you like. I mean, he's being a little possessive. Actually, reminds me of someone.  
  
I sighed. I wanted to stop thinking about it, go to sleep and just forget about it all until tomorrow. So I did. I drifted off to sleep. But it didn't last that long.  
  
As I woke up and glanced at the clock it was only 7:20 pm. I got up, not really feeling like leaving the bed, but I was hungry. Knowing Junsu, he must have made something delicious. And to think JaeJoong wanted me to leave that. Not in a million years.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Junsu, is Changmin home?" I asked as I walked into the house and further, into the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah, he was already here when I came back. I peeked into his room, he's sleeping." Junsu replied. I smiled. Well, at least he wasn't with Kim Jerk. "Why are you so happy?" he asked looking at me. I must have had a happy grin on my face.  
  
"Oh nothing. I had a nice day." I said shrugging and went to the bathroom.  
  
When I came back Changmin was already in the kitchen, talking to Junsu. I stepped in and sat across from him. Junsu turned his attention to the food he was setting on the table, in front of us.  
  
"You're up." I said smiling at him, but he gave me a look. More like a glare. I shut up, deciding that it's probably not a good time for talking. He looked pi$$ed. But as much as I wanted this evening to go smoothly and without a fight, I guess it was impossible.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"When are you planning to leave me alone?" I asked trying to keep myself calm. He looked at me confused. "Don't act all innocent, you know what I'm talking about." I added and looked away from him, grabbing chopsticks and putting some food into my mouth. This was great, as always and I smiled at Junsu. The boy was making heavenly food.  
  
"If you're referring to this morning incident, then I can't promise you anything. It started long before you came into our lives and now that you're here I'm not planning to stop it." He replied smirking a bit. I swallowed my food and glared at him, but he glanced away at his plate and stuck food into his mouth.  
  
"Yeah, I'm referring to that and something else." I replied, then glanced at Junsu. He had somewhat of a panic expression. I looked back at Yoochun. "Why did you tell him I live with you guys?"  
  
"I wasn't supposed to?" he asked back. "Is that some kind of secret?" Uh oh, he was getting mad. "Are you embarrassed to live with Park brothers? Is that it?"  
  
"No, that's not it. I never said that." I said raising my voice in order to stop him from talking. "I would never say something like that. This is my home too... I..." I trailed off. I looked at Junsu again. He was looking at me and it kind of gave me strength to continue. "I've never felt more welcomed anywhere then I feel here." I finished, then looked back at Yoochun. "Don't think it's because of you. It's all thanks to Junsu. If it wasn't for him I would leave." I added shooting him a glare.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was touched by his words. I wanted him to feel like he's a part of our family and I guess I succeeded in that. If only Yoochun could be nicer to him. And to JaeJoong.  
  
I smiled at Changmin, then looked back at Yoochun and finally looked back at my plate, deciding to mind my own business. Silence filled the kitchen for a couple of moments, but my stupid brother decided to break it again. Of course.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So... trouble in paradise?" I asked smirking. It hurt me to hear that he was staying in our house just because of Junsu, but at least he wasn't planning to leave. Changmin looked at me again. If looks could kill I'd be dead by now.  
  
"When are you gonna learn not to butt into other people's business?" he asked in a low voice.  
  
"If you are one of those people, then never." I replied with a broad smile. For some reason I was happy. I might be mean, but he clearly had problems with JaeJoong and it made me satisfied. Junsu looked at me sadly. I had the feeling my donsaeng pitied me. Oh, who cares... I was satisfied.  
  
"You must be happy, right?" Changmin said again.  
  
"Why, yes, I am." I replied honestly. "Kim Jerk is not good enough for you."  
  
"His name is Kim JaeJoong. And I'll decide if he's good or not good enough. He's better then you anyway."  
  
"Ouch, that hurt..." I replied pretending to be offended. "Poor Changmin, he's in denial. I can help you with that." I said winking playfully.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
What is that supposed to mean? God, I can't stand him. And I'm supposed to live with him. I rolled my eyes, not wanting to talk anymore. Maybe ignoring him would be a smart thing to do. I quickly finished my meal and smiled at Junsu one more time.  
  
"Thanks." I said to him. Poor guy, he had to put up with his dumb hyung all the time. I stood up and went upstairs, not even looking at Yoochun. He didn't deserve one look from me.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yep, as I said, trouble in paradise." I smirked taking another bite of my food. I looked at Junsu grinning happily. He, in return, just shook his head sadly and picked up his and Changmin's plates. I didn't care what he was thinking. JaeMin relationship was starting to fall apart and that was all that mattered.


	15. Chapter 15

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Crowded as usual. I came to a club tonight. All by myself. I didn't think Jae would be up for joining me and I didn't really feel like hanging out with him anyway. I just couldn't get over the whole JunKi/JaeJoong close brotherly relationship. Or was there something else? I also couldn't forget about yesterday. Me walking onto JunKi half-naked, getting those feelings and... well, let's be honest, it turned me on.  
  
So, tonight, I needed to have some fun, I needed to get over it, forget about everything, go back to normal. And what's a better way to do that then go clubbing. Dancing, alcohol, girls... just what I need.  
  
I walked to the bar, ordering soju. It felt weird being here all by myself, but soon that will change.  
  
As soon as I felt relaxed enough, I walked over to the dance floor. That's right bit.ches, move. This place belongs to me.  
  
As I started showing off my fabulous dancing skills I noticed a girl looking at me. Yeah, I know what you think, isn't every girl looking at Jung Yunho, the dancing god? Of course, they all are looking, but this girl was looking at me differently. Like there is something behind that playful smile of hers. Not just another fangirl right? Well, let's hope so.  
  
I gave her a flirty smile and grabbed her hand, pulling her close to me. I continued to dance and, much to my surprise she followed my moves. Now, that got me intrigued. No one could move along with me on the dance floor. Well, at least not until tonight. She was copying my moves with such easiness that all I could do was watch. She smirked seeing my facial expression and then showed me some of her own movements. I was surprised.  
  
I smiled at her again, but truly smiled. I don't think any of the girls around here saw me smile like that, I always tried to put on some kind of a mask when I was with girls. All they wanted was to be labeled as 'one of the girls Jung Yunho paid attention too'. They weren't worth my smile. This girl, however, was.  
  
"Hey, what's your name?" I asked finally. I don't think I saw her in school. Then again, I wasn't paying attention to all the girls there. I mean, most of them were just girls who wanted to jump into my pants. Some succeeded, some not. But they were just girls.  
  
"Kang Min Sun. Your?" she replied. I was surprised she didn't know who I was. I mean, if there wasn't for Junki, I bet I would be the kingka in our school. God, stop thinking about JunKi, Yunho.  
  
"Jung Yunho." I replied, pulling her closer. "It's crowded here, wanna go some place more private?"  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the class. Avoiding everyone's gaze I went straight to my seat and sat down. JaeJoong still wasn't there and I felt both relief and sadness. I wasn't going to look for him, he's the one who needs to apologize.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
There he was. I slowly walked up to him and sat down on my seat. I glanced at him, but he wasn't paying attention to me. I guess I deserved it. We'll have to talk later.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Changmin's not in a good mood. I can't believe he likes that bastard that much. They better not make up. Something tells me they will. I mean, knowing JaeJoong, he'll probably apologize. And Changmin will be thrilled and end up with him. Damn, why do I have to be so jealous? I mean, okay, they like each other, I should accept it... yeah, right. Maybe if it was someone else. But Kim JaeJoong? There is no chance I'll accept that.  
  
Plus... I like Changmin so much. I don't want to tell that to anyone, that's my secret and a bit of a forbidden desire. I mean, imagine our parents if they find out. That can't happen. But... can I fight it?  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I glanced at Changmin. I felt bad. For so many reasons. Why do I have to be like this? Why do I have to be a Park? Why do I have to stand by Yoochun? Why do I have to hide my friendship with JunKi? Why do I have to keep saying that Changmin and JaeJoong shouldn't be together? Why do I have to be so jealous? Why do I have to... love Jae?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Good morning."  
  
I turned around to look at a beautiful girl laying next to me. I smiled.  
  
"Good morning." I replied, moving my hand to her cheek, cupping it, then further into her hair, pulling her into a kiss. Something felt different. I don't know what it was. Maybe the fact that this hasn't happened before. I mean, I would sleep with a girl, then sneak out before she would wake up. This was the first time the girl woke up before me. But surprisingly, I didn't mind. Also... I think I was panicking a little bit. This was a completely new situation for me. And I didn't know what exactly I was feeling. Maybe I... god, I'm afraid to even think about it... but maybe I wanted a girlfriend. And maybe I wanted it to be this girl.  
  
"Did you sleep well?" she asked, waking me up from my thoughts and making me pay attention to her again.  
  
"Yeah, you?" I managed to reply.  
  
"Mmmhmmm." She nodded, scooting closer to me.  
  
I didn't know what to do now. Not like right now, but I was wondering what are we now. It was always easy to sleep with a girl and go away unnoticed, they would bug me afterwards, but I would easily ditch them. I knew I couldn't do that to this girl. Nor I wanted to.  
  
We were laying like that for some time.  
  
"Oh god... school." I finally remembered.  
  
"We're ditching school today." She replied calmly and looked up at me.  
  
"We are?" I raised eyebrows and smiled. I guess I really like her. She's so different.  
  
"Yeah. What would you like to do today? We have all day just for ourselves." She said.  
  
"Whatever you feel like doing, I'm in." I replied smiling broadly. Woah, where did that come from? Since when have I started to agree with anything a girl would suggest?  
  
"Really?" she asked smiling. "Then, remember what you said. Now you can't back off." She joked. I laughed. Yeah, it didn't bother me. I didn't want to back off. Not this time.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
The school was over. I wondered where Yunho disappeared. The guy hasn't come to school, nor call me. Weird. Oh well, I'll deal with him later, I had to find Changmin first.  
  
I walked up to the parking lot and started walking to my car when I noticed Changmin not far away from me.  
  
"Changmin!" I called and he turned around. His face was unreadable. I didn't know what he was thinking nor feeling. I hoped he wasn't mad at me. At least not that much. I just wanted to make up and feel his arms around me again. I needed it.  
  
He walked up to me, calmly, still not showing a slightest emotion on his face.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I tried hard not to smile. I didn't want to be a jerk, but I wanted to see what's that that he's gonna tell me first. I didn't want to end up like an idiot who thought his boyfriend wanted to make up when all he really wanted was to break up. I didn't know what was going on in JaeJoong's head. I mean, I didn't know him all that well yet, right? He might just hate Yoochun and Junsu so much that he can't accept me living with them. And if that was the case, then we can't be together.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
He was making me nervous. Just standing there, not saying a thing. I wanted to get out of here.  
  
"Let's go somewhere, we need to talk." I said. He nodded and we got into my car. I drove to my place. I didn't want to go somewhere crowded, I needed to talk to him in private. And I couldn't think of a place more private then my house. We got out of the car and into the house.  
  
"You want something?" I asked walking into the kitchen. I was just delaying our talk. He shook his head and just stood there, waiting for me to start. I felt weird with him not talking at all. I haven't heard a word coming out of his mouth the whole day.  
  
"Okay." I started, turning around to him. "I'm sorry about yesterday." I said, not really knowing how to tell him everything I wanted. I knew the moment I let it out I'll feel better, so I wanted to let it out as fast as possible. "I might... not like Park brothers..." I chose my words carefully. "... but you living with them has nothing to do with it." I said. "I'm sorry I reacted like that, I really didn't mean to say all those stuff, but I wasn't thinking at the moment and it just turned out like that." I paused, looking at him. He wasn't mad at me, I could tell that, but he still wasn't saying a word. Him still standing there was a good sign though. "I really care about you Changmin. I really like you. I'm sorry, it doesn't matter who you live with. I don't care. I just want my boyfriend back." I finished.  
  
"Hyung..." he started and I smiled broadly. Finally speaking. He walked up to me and hugged me. "Thanks." I smiled. "... for not letting that stupid rivalry be more important to you then I am." I put my arms around him, but words 'stupid rivalry' were echoing in my head. It wasn't stupid. He just didn't get it. But I didn't want to start another fight with him. So, I just stood there, feeling him in my arms again.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey." Changmin entered the house. He was in a lot better mood then I expected. I guess he made up with certain someone I didn't want to think about.  
  
"Hey." I replied, not feeling like asking anything.  
  
"JaeJoong and me are back together." He said. See? I didn't have to ask. "He doesn't care about me living with you." Yeah, that's right, rub it in. I didn't say anything, nor did I look at him. I continued flipping through the channels, a little bit furiously though. He must've noticed, since he smirked and looked around.  
  
"Where is Junsu?" he asked.  
  
"In his room." I replied. I don't know what's with my brother, he didn't even look at me when he came home, he just went straight upstairs. I wonder if he'll make dinner.  
  
"Okay." Changmin said. Oh yeah, he was still there. "I'm gonna see what's he doing." I nodded and finally looked at his back walking away from me. I sighed.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
Junsu, you're an idiot. All these years you let some stupid feelings take over all your actions and thoughts. What you're dreaming about is not happening. It can't happen. You should just forget about it all and move on. I wish I could.  
  
"Junsu?" a familiar voice called as Changmin appeared at the door of my bedroom. I smiled.  
  
"Come in." I replied, sitting up in my bed. I glanced at the clock. I didn't even realize I was laying there for three hours. Thinking about stupid, pointless things. As usual.  
  
"What's up? Are you okay?" Changmin asked, sitting next to me. This guy was great. He was so nice and caring and damn, it was so hard for me to hate him. But still, not hard for me to be jealous of him. To envy him. For having JaeJoong.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said putting on my famous mask, as JunKi liked to call it. "I'm just a bit tired." I added. That wasn't a lie. I was tired of myself, of my stupid, impossible, forbidden love.  
  
"Oh okay..." he said nodding. "Hey, if you're tired, then... maybe you should stay here, get some rest. We'll figure something for dinner. I'll bring it to you here, okay?" he asked. Why do you have to be so nice Changmin? Why do you have to make it harder then it already is?  
  
"No, I'm fine thanks. I had enough rest anyway. Plus, if you had Yoochun cooking in mind, then I'll definitely skip it. You should too." I laughed.  
  
"Hey! I heard that." We heard a voice and Yoochun appeared at the door, just like Changmin did a couple of minutes ago.  
  
"Hey! Eavesdropping is forbidden in this house!" I protested.  
  
"Yeah? Sais who?"  
  
"Me." I replied simply and poked out my tongue at him.  
  
"You're such a baby." He laughed and I did too. I was actually feeling better. Living with Yoochun was always... anything but boring. And now, that Changmin was there with us I knew it'll only become more interesting. I smiled at both of them and stood up.  
  
"Okay, let's go downstairs." I said and exited my room, with Yoochun and Changmin following close behind me.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Wow, this was actually the first time all three of us had fun together. I don't know what happened to Yoochun, but he was actually nice to me. We had a peaceful evening, without fighting, without sarcastic remarks, without mentioning Park-Kim/Jung rivalry. Just the three of us, having fun. I felt more at home then ever. I felt like I was with my family.


	16. Chapter 16

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You what?" I asked widening my eyes at my best friend. He looked at me innocently before repeating what he just said.  
  
"I have a girlfriend."  
  
I didn't know what to say, I just stared at him. Yunho never, and I mean never had a girlfriend. That was shocking itself. But the one person that kept appearing in my mind now was JunKi. I didn't know how he will react when he finds out, but I knew it won't be good. I felt sorry for him all over again. I hated it, I kept feeling bad, but it was his fault. Falling for Yunho. That must have been the stupidest thing he has ever done.  
  
"Jae?" he asked looking at me worriedly and I quickly looked back at him and managed to give him a small smile. The thought of JunKi just couldn't leave my mind.  
  
"What happened?" I replied. I couldn't understand. Why all of the sudden. And I was curious who this girl was. Who was that special to actually make Yunho want something more then a one night stand? "I mean, you have never had a girlfriend before. It's a bit surprising you want one now. I mean, who is she? Do I know her? And what makes her so great?" I asked.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
He sounds weird. Like he's not happy because I found someone I actually like and want to be with.  
  
"No, I don't think you know her. Her name is Kang Min Sun and I met her in the club." I said.  
  
"Kang Min Sun?" He asked a bit surprised, but then quickly smiled. "Oh, I get it now."  
  
"What? You know her?" I asked. How come he knew her and I didn't?  
  
"Of course... she's... an excellent dancer. That's why you like her right?"  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yeah, she's also... Yuri's best friend.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What's wrong?" Changmin asked me as soon as I sat down and started eating my food. I looked at him surprised. He would never sit at our table during lunch. I looked around, looking for JaeJoong, but he was nowhere in sight.  
  
"I thought you're gonna have lunch with JaeJoong." I said completely ignoring his question.  
  
"Yeah, well, he had some stuff to do." He replied and smiled. "Besides, I wanted to spend some time with you. It looks like you're not well these past couple of days. Are you sick?"  
  
"No, I'm fine." I said putting on my smile. My trademark. My mask. My lie. He nodded, buying it. Everyone were buying it except JunKi. I was satisfied with that ability of mine. I always managed to trick the rest of the world. I didn't need to trick JunKi. And I didn't want to.  
  
"Okay. That's good to hear." He said smiling and started eating his food.  
  
"So... how are things going on with JaeJoong?" I asked. It hurt me to talk about it, but something just kept making me want to know. I couldn't stop myself from asking it.  
  
"Oh great." He said cheerfully, that nice smile of his stabbing my heart. I literally could feel the pain burning inside me. "It's been a week since that stupid fight and ever since then he's been great to me. I mean, it looks like he's trying to prove that it doesn't matter that I'm living with you guys." He continued. "I know it doesn't matter to him... sometimes I wish he would stop trying so hard. I mean, I know he likes me. I just don't know if he knows how much I like him."  
  
I looked at him. I tried hard not to sigh at those words, so I swallowed instead. Keeping my feelings inside was a hard task. Now more then ever.  
  
"Well... show it to him." I said quietly. I wanted it to sound more friendly like, but it just hurt too much. Changmin was taking away JaeJoong, who has never been mine in the first place. Our love that I've been dreaming about for years has never been possible. Even when I found out he's gay the happiness lasted shortly. How could I even think about being with him when rivalry was always on our way? Yoochun and Yunho would freak out, for sure. And then... who knows what could happen.  
  
So, this was for the best. Changmin to be with JaeJoong. As much as it hurts me I should deal with it. I should accept it and be a true friend to Changmin. Pretend Junsu, that's something you're the best in.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Hyung... Damn, I'm so worried about him. I don't know what to do. I mean, I know Yunho will tell him as soon as possible. I'm surprised he still hasn't told him. He's closer to him then to me afterall. But really, I don't know what to do with him. I'm even slightly afraid to come home and find him there after Yunho tells him.  
  
I buried my head into my hands as I sat down in the middle of the park. Suddenly I felt someone wrapping arms around me and a familiar scent trailed up to my nose. I smiled weakly and looked up.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled back at him, but he looked really devastated.  
  
"Jae? What's wrong?" I asked immediately as a smile disappeared from my face, being replaced by a look of worry.  
  
"Nothing." He replied quickly and looked away.  
  
"Don't give me that, something's wrong. Tell me." I said softly, moving my hand down his arm and taking his hand in mine.  
  
"It's nothing. I just... Yunho told me something and now I don't know what to think." He replied quietly and looked down at our hands.  
  
"Do you want to tell me?" I asked carefully. I knew they're best friends and they probably had secrets, but I'm his boyfriend. I didn't want to have secrets with him. And I wanted him to feel the same way about me.  
  
"It's just... it's nothing." He repeated. "Yunho got himself a girlfriend." He said smirking a bit.  
  
"Well, those are good news, right?" I replied unsure. His best friend has a girlfriend now, that shouldn't make JaeJoong sad, right? He should be happy for him.  
  
"Well, I guess." He said, shrugging a bit. Okay, now he's starting to freak me out. I sat down next to him and looked at him.  
  
"What's going on Jae?" I asked. I didn't understand his behavior. Actually, I was thinking it could mean only one thing and I was afraid to think about it.  
  
"Nothing, just... he has never had a girlfriend before. And I kind of thought it'll stay that way." Jae said.  
  
"Why? I mean, it's normal for him to have a girlfriend." I replied.  
  
"No, you don't get it. Yunho shouldn't have done that. He would always sleep with a girl, then ditch her, that's the way he works." He said getting a bit irritated.  
  
"Are you telling me you would feel better if he had taken advantage of that girl and then ditch her?" I asked unbelievingly. "You think he can't actually feel something for her? He's your best friend, shouldn't you be happy for him?" I said confused and also a bit surprised. It wasn't a pleasant surprise. I was getting to know JaeJoong more and more and among a lot of stuff that I liked there were just some that either confused me or just made me not so fond of him.  
  
"No, it's not that." He said looking at me. "You just don't understand."  
  
"Well, explain it to me. I want to understand. I want to understand you, sometimes I just don't get you." I said looking back at him.  
  
"I can't. I just... I don't think that's good for Yunho." He said looking away again. Something didn't feel right there. He was lying to me.  
  
"It is good for Yunho. But it's not for someone else." I said slowly. I was just assuming, but by the look on his face I knew I was right. "I'm right, am I?" I asked. He remained silent. "Damn, Jae, tell me. Am I right?"  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
He was right. But I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't tell him about JunKi, it's hyung's secret. He doesn't even know I know it. So, I can't say a thing. But now we went too far with this and I'm afraid Changmin will think something else. I think he'll misunderstand it all. I'm really stupid. I shouldn't have acted like that, I should've just pretend like everything's fine. But it would've been hard, since all I could think of the whole day was JunKi. Besides, I didn't want to pretend in front of Changmin. He doesn't deserve that and I know we shouldn't have secrets and all, but this is just something I can't tell him. It's not my secret.  
  
"Listen, you don't have to tell me, I think I got it." He said suddenly and I looked at him. Pain in his eyes.  
  
"Min it's not what you think." I started.  
  
"It's okay Jae, don't explain. If you don't have the guts to admit it, then you don't have to. I'm not that stupid. I get it all." He said coldly and stood up.  
  
"Wait, where are you going? I thought we're going to spend a day together." I said quickly, holding onto his hand. Please, don't leave me. I've been an idiot, but this is one thing I can't tell you.  
  
"No, Jae, I don't think we should." He replied, trying to let go of my hand.  
  
"But you don't understand. I can't tell you what's this all about, it has nothing to do with you." I said again.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. It's between you and Yunho anyway." He said finally managing to get out of my grasp and walked away.  
  
What have I done?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Changmin?" I called as I saw a familiar slim figure passing by kitchen quickly.  
  
"Yeah, Yoochun?" He asked stopping and turning around to look at me.  
  
"Is something wrong?" I asked noticing his facial expression.  
  
"No, I'm fine." He replied quickly. "I'm just tired. I'm going to my room. I think I'll skip dinner tonight."  
  
"Okay." I nodded and watched him go upstairs. Wait. Skip dinner? Our Changminnie?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You're here." He said causing me to jump and cut my finger in the process.  
  
"Sh.it... Yunho." I said glaring at him. He looked at my finger and quickly came closer to me.  
  
"Sorry hyung. I didn't mean to scare you like that... Here, let me do it..." he said taking my hand and turning water on, then gently pulling my hand over, to wash my finger. I inhaled quickly both at the sensation the pain was causing me and the butterflies that kept messing with my stomach. He was so close again, I could feel his scent attacking my nose. I smiled sheepishly at him and then remembered we shouldn't be this close. I might do something I'll most definitely regret later.  
  
I moved away from him a bit, but he didn't let me.  
  
"Wait. Bandage." He said softly and took one, placing it on my finger. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow for a moment, but then remembered that it couldn't possibly mean a thing. I finally turned away from him and back to what I was doing. Where was I anyway?  
  
"Can we talk?" he asked. "I really want to tell you something." He said. I didn't know what that meant, but I didn't have a good feeling about this. I was getting excited all of the sudden. Maybe I should put away my knife for a while. "I would suggest you to put that thing down. I don't have many bandages left." He joked. He could even read my thoughts. How great. What am I thinking now Yunho?  
  
I nodded and put down the knife, then turned around to face him again.  
  
"Let's go to the living room or somewhere... I don't want Jae to interrupt us." He said shifting uncomfortably and I raised my eyebrows at him again.  
  
"You have something private to tell me?" I asked. He nodded. I couldn't read his facial expression and that made me unsure if I wanted to hear what he wanted to tell me or not. But I had no other choice, so I nodded as well.  
  
"Okay, well, we can always go to my room." I said. The way it sounded made me blush. Stupid, stupid JunKi. Stop thinking about it. You've been thinking about it way too much. Yunho will figure it out eventually. And that's not gonna be good. Unless...  
  
I exited the kitchen and started walking upstairs, sensing him following me close behind. I felt my heart beating like crazy. I didn't know what expected me now, but I was curious to find out.  
  
We reached my room and I opened the door, letting Yunho in, then closed it behind me. I turned to him.  
  
"Okay, tell me now." I said looking at him. He looked back and smiled. I shivered. Something definitely didn't feel right.  
  
"I have a girlfriend."


	17. Chapter 17

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He has a girlfriend? Oh god... He has never had a girlfriend before. And now... now that I'm in love with him now he has found one. What is this? I can't believe this. I... what should I feel now? I can't think straight. Oh my god. Don't cry JunKi, don't you dare... It's so hard though. It hurts. It hurts so much.  
  
"Hyung?" No. Don't call me hyung. Especially not like that. It hurts even more now. You're so caring, so gentle. You do care about me, just not in that way. I know that. I know I should've never expected anything else from you. It has always been impossible. I just kept lying to myself, thinking that maybe, some day, you'd look at me in some other way then just an older brother.  
  
"You have a girlfriend?" I asked finally, trying to sound cheerful. That were great news. They should've been. I mean, I should be happy for him. He's growing up. He became more mature, he finally found someone he cared about. All the girls he's been with were just some twisted toys. Well, they didn't deserve to be treated otherwise anyway. I hate to say it, but they were just shallow fangirls. But this one must be special if he really wants something more then a one night stand. Nonetheless it hurts like hell.  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, funny, isn't it? I, Jung Yunho, the biggest player around, have a girlfriend." He said laughing a bit.  
  
"Yeah, all the fangirls will be disappointed." I said chuckling. Yeah, it came out bitter, but I can't bother to cover it up. Hopefully he won't notice.  
  
"You know they don't matter." He said shrugging. "Are you okay? You don't look great. I mean, is there something bothering you?"  
  
"No, don't mind me. I don't feel good today." I said waving my hand a bit and trying to keep that smiley mask on my face. I thought looking at Junsu carefully, studying his face, will help me learning how to look like that, when everything around me was falling apart. I guess I still had a lot to learn. It might hurt - knowing the truth, but pretending like everything is okay is tearing me apart. So much pain.  
  
"So, what is she like?" I asked. Damn, I'm really pushing it. Am I trying to kill myself? But hey, I have to ask. If not just because of me, then because of him. It's normal to be curious and it'll probably look suspicious if I don't ask. So, yeah, I couldn't allow that. I couldn't allow Yunho to think that something's wrong.  
  
"She's beautiful, a great dancer, a nice person. I really like her." He said smiling. I could see his eyes shining at the mention of her and instantly my heart ached. I swallowed. Calm down JunKi.  
  
"What's her name?"  
  
"Kang Min Sun." he said smiling even more broadly now. I looked at him a bit weirdly at the mention of the name. Could it be?  
  
"Nice name." I said. This is getting harder with every minute passing.  
  
"Yeah, it suites her." He replied. Great. I'm in love with a guy who found a perfect girl for himself and is now telling me how great she is. Can I get more pathetic?  
  
I remained quiet for a moment. I wasn't looking at him, but I knew he was studying my every move, waiting for some kind of a reaction from me. I knew I had to at least pretend I'm happy for him.  
  
"Are you happy Yunho?" I asked finally. Afterall, that should be the most important thing. I looked at him.  
  
"Yeah, I am." He replied. Somehow he didn't seem too sure, but I didn't think anything of it. He just met a girl. First girlfriend is a big thing. He should enjoy it. Maybe he's not completely sure about it now and I shouldn't have asked that question so early, but in a way I thought it'll calm me down. Maybe I should just deal with it, accept it and try to move on. I tried so many times, but maybe this will actually help me do that. He's straight and he has a girlfriend. How much longer can I make fool of myself? Wake up JunKi, forget about it all.  
  
"Well, that's the only thing that matters." I said smiling at him. It still hurt, but that's the only thing I could do.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt weird the whole time I was at Jae's place, talking to JunKi hyung. I felt like I'm hurting him. I didn't feel great myself. It was uncomfortable and painful. I was trying to brush off that feeling, but it stayed and there was nothing I could do. He kept smiling at me and acting like he's happy for me, but I kept feeling like he put on some mask that didn't allow me to look deeper into him. What was that that he was really feeling? He didn't even tell me his opinion about it all. He would always do that, give me advice or something. This time he only asked if I was happy. I felt like crying, he cared so much and well, I didn't know how to respond to that. It was too early. Yeah, I'm happy, satisfied, Min Sun is great... but I'm not sure if I’m like genuinely happy. I don't know what is happiness. I really like her and spending time with her is great. But why do I always think of JunKi hyung? Whatever I do, wherever I go, at any time of the day I'm thinking about hyung. Those thoughts are like... haunting me. I'm fighting it. But I have the feeling that as long as I have him on my mind I can't be truly happy.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Where is Changmin?" I heard Junsu asking. He walked into the kitchen and looked at me. "God, don't tell me you're cooking."  
  
"Of course not, this is just a little snack I made. For myself." I said. Actually I made it for Changmin, but Junsu doesn't have to know everything. "Changmin is in his room. He said he's skipping dinner." I said as if I didn't care.  
  
"Changmin is skipping dinner?" Junsu asked raising his eyebrows. Yeah, it was unbelievable. "What happened?"  
  
"What could've happened? That Kim jerk did something of course. I'll kick his butt the next time I see him." I replied not being able to control my anger anymore.  
  
"Calm down. Maybe it wasn't JaeJoong's fault."  
  
"Will you stop defending him? God, sometimes I wonder if you're a Park at all."  
  
"Stop. JaeJoong is not that bad. Maybe they had some misunderstanding or something."  
  
"I swear, I don't know what's wrong with you. Ever since that fight four years ago you started defending him more then usual. And he doesn't deserve it one bit. He has never looked at you like a best friend. You always wanted it to happen, didn't you? But there was always Yunho, standing on your way. And then after they started acting like idiots I thought you'll come to your senses. But no, you remained poor little Junsu, in love with JaeJoong. Get a grip, will you?" I said finally and turned around to finish my... I mean, Changmin's sandwich.  
  
End of Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Flashback (4 years ago)  
  
  
"Yoochun, stop! Stop!" Junsu yelled on the verge of crying as he stood in front of JaeJoong. Jae was half-laying on the ground, trying to recover from the punch Yoochun just gave him.  
  
"Junsu, move." Yoochun said through the gritted teeth.  
  
"No. Stop this thing, now." Junsu said looking back at him.  
  
"What the hell is your problem? You keep defending that idiot. Let me take care of this. He doesn't give a sheet about you, he doesn't care. He can't stand you, just like he can't stand me. Can't you see that? Now move." Yoochun said.  
  
"No. We're going home." Junsu said grabbing Yoochun's arm and dragging him away from JaeJoong. He glanced back one last time and then turned into their street.  
  
  
End of Flashback  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
He doesn't get it. Thank god for that. I hope he never realizes how much JaeJoong means to me. It's not just that I want him to be my friend. It's so much more. Every word that came out of Yoochun's mouth was hurting me, but I didn't care. I might be an idiot for loving Jae, but I don't care. I don't give a damn about what everyone thinks, I just want Jae to be okay, to be happy. Even if it's with Changmin.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I'm going to my room." I lied, taking the plate with Changmin's sandwich and looking at Junsu. He just nodded. Maybe I hurt him with my words, but he deserved it. It pisses me off when he starts talking about JaeJoong. What has he ever done for Junsu to like him, to want to be his friend? He has always been an idiot. Especially to us. Junsu really has to think well about his actions and feelings. He has to realize I'm right.  
  
I went upstairs and knocked on Changmin's door. He didn't answer, so I slowly opened the door and stepped in. I smiled at the familiar tall figure laying on his bed and walked up to him.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked softly.  
  
"Do I look like I'm okay?" he replied. I knew he wasn't. He even looked like he's been crying. God, don't tell me because of that jerk.  
  
"I brought you something to eat." I said smiling and put the plate on the table next to his bed.  
  
"You didn't have to. I'm not hungry... but thanks."  
  
"You have to eat. You're so skinny anyway. Besides, hearing you skipping dinner is just wrong." I attempted to joke, but it didn't go well. He remained silent. I stood beside his bed for a moment, then finally sat down next to him.  
  
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" I asked. He didn't answer. "Maybe it'll make you feel better." I added. "Look, I know Junsu is probably better when it comes to talking and yeah, I admit my short temper is not... my best quality." I said looking away. "But you can always talk to me. I mean, I'm here for you, just like Junsu is." I finished. He finally looked at me. I smiled.  
  
"Jung Yunho has a girlfriend." He said sighing. I looked at him confused. What does Yunho have to do with this? I thought this was about JaeJoong.  
  
"Okay... is that a bad thing?" I asked unsure.  
  
"Well, according to JaeJoong it is." He said bitterly. I raised my eyebrows. JaeJoong doesn't want Yunho to have a girlfriend? That doesn't make any sense. Wasn't he the one who has always been against Yunho's careless relationship with girls? Yeah, they might be my enemies, but I always knew what was going on in their lives. How could I not with all the rumors going on around school.  
  
I remained silent waiting for Changmin to tell me more.  
  
"We had a fight. Again." He said sighing. "I don't know, I never had that feeling before, but now I think JaeJoong likes Yunho. I mean, there is no other explanation for him to feel and act that way. You should've seen him today, he looked so devastated, he barely talked to me. And when I asked him what's going on he kept repeating he can't tell me. We're supposed to be a couple and he can't tell me something that important." He said tearing up again. I didn't know what to do, so I put my arm around his shoulder. "I really like him Yoochun. I just... I don't know. Until today I thought he likes me, everything he did and said was screaming it, but now I'm not sure. Maybe he did all that because he felt guilty. Maybe he realized he likes Yunho and he didn't want to hurt me. I don't know. Now that I think about it all those things are becoming clear in some twisted way and I..." he started crying. "... I don't know what to do."  
  
I didn't know what to do either. I pulled him closer into my arms and ran my hand through his hair, trying to comfort him and calm him down. "It's okay, Changmin, really. Maybe... maybe you misunderstood it. Maybe he does care about you. I mean, he wouldn't act like that for nothing. He could always break up with you. Besides, you've been together for what? Two weeks maybe? Maybe not even that long." I said. I couldn't believe what I was saying. I'm supposed to hate JaeJoong. For everything he did, both to me and Junsu and now for Changmin. But here I was defending him. I still hate him, I know I am. But I had to comfort Changmin and I knew this was probably the only way. I didn't know what to do and this was the first thing that came to my mind. I said all the things I didn't want to be true, but I knew they probably were. I was actually pushing Changmin back to JaeJoong's arms. How stupid and damn, how noble of me. How painful.  
  
Changmin nodded and looked at me after some time. Having him in my arms felt so right, I knew it'll end soon, but then again, if we stayed like that for an eternity it would still not be enough.  
  
"Thanks Yoochun." He said smiling. I melted right then and there. I smiled back happily. As long as I see him smile, everything will be alright. I brushed my fingers against his cheek, cupping it and looked into his eyes.  
  
"Junsu is waiting for us." I said. He needed to eat. I could tell he was hungry, he just didn't want to admit it. I knew his eating habits anyway.  
  
He nodded and smiled again, then got up and took my hand. I smiled again, feeling shiver running down my spine as we exited his room and went downstairs.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't expect something like this from Yoochun. He seemed to be such a riddle for me ever since I came to Seoul. He could be nice, shy, so indoor sometimes. And he could explode in a second, boiling with anger, become mean and not caring about anyone. But maybe that wasn't Yoochun at all. Maybe he was something in between. Or something behind it all. Yeah, definitely. I think that was just a mask, a good cover. No one could read his true self like that, no one could get to him and no one could hurt him. Maybe I'm starting to understand Yoochun a bit better. But then again... maybe I'm wrong.  
  
We went downstairs and I was feeling a lot better already. I smiled at Junsu.  
  
"You're up!" he said cheerfully and looked at me and then at Yoochun. He smiled and put food on the table. "Right on time. I already planned to eat everything by myself."  
  
"You pig!" Yoochun said and laughed as Junsu glared at him and pouted.  
  
"Well, you said you're skipping dinner, what did you expect? That I would waste all this food? No way."  
  
"Well, I'm not skipping dinner now. And don't worry, this food will be everything but wasted." I replied sitting down and laughed.  
  
"Oh, we know." They both nodded and it was my turn to glare at them. I smiled. It was good... to be home.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at Changmin and smiled. He was smiling back and Yoochun was beside him, grinning happily. I raised my eyebrows slightly and got it at once. He was opening up to Changmin. Finally. Maybe he'll quit being such a jerk. Let's hope. I did think once that Changmin will change him. For better. Maybe it already started.


	18. Chapter 18

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the house. After Changmin left me I stayed there, just thinking about everything, not being able to move. I was sick of it. The whole day went so bad, the only thing that was missing to make it a complete disaster was sudden appearance of Park Yoochun. I half expected for that to happen, but luckily it didn't and I finally reached home.  
  
I sighed as I closed the door behind me, not being able to think about me and Changmin. The day wasn't over yet, now JunKi needed me. I knew he did. So, I had to forget about myself and my own problems for tonight and be there for him.  
  
"Hyung?" I called as I walked further into the house. It was so quiet and it sent chills down my spine. I just shook my head and headed upstairs. Afterall, I knew where I'll find him.  
  
I knocked on the door and immediately walked in. He was sitting on his bed, with his back facing me. Well, he was more like curled up in a ball. He looked rather pathetic and I felt guilty. I felt like I should've done something to stop it all. To protect him from pain. But I knew it was foolish of me, to even think about that. I knew there was nothing I could've done.  
  
I slowly approached him and sat down on his bed.  
  
"Hyung..." I started softly. I didn't know how to say it, how to comfort him. He didn't even know I knew. Or did he?  
  
He didn't react, so I put my hand on his shoulder, only making him let out a sob. He shivered and slightly pulled away from me. I guess he was ashamed and helpless. I knew he didn't want me to see him like this, but did he seriously think that he could hide from me forever?  
  
"JunKi... it's okay." I said softly. He still didn't reply. "When did he go?" I asked. Like it mattered.  
  
"An hour ago." He replied quietly, then let out another sob.  
  
"You can cry, you know." I said. He suddenly turned around. I gave him a weak smile. I didn't want him to think I pity him. Although that was true. Kind of. But I also understood him and I didn't want him to suffer.  
  
"You knew?" he asked. I nodded. "Since when?"  
  
"Since that day I realized I'm gay. You were talking with Yunho in the kitchen and then ran into me on the way out. Anybody can see it if they look closely." I replied. He looked down.  
  
"I can't hide it well, ha?" he said smirking as he continued to cry.  
  
"To people who know you well... no." I replied and smiled. "But hey, it's okay." I added putting my arm around him. "You didn't tell him anything?"  
  
"How could I?" he replied holding onto me. I felt like an older brother suddenly. I've never seen this side of JunKi before. "But... I don't think he noticed anything. Either I'm that good at pretending or he's truly in love with her." He said and finally broke down. He started crying uncontrollably and now I really didn't know what to do. I never expected to see him like this, in this miserable state. It scared me, it was like my only support in life was breaking down in front of me and there is nothing I could do. I felt so... lost.  
  
"Hyung..." I said softly, trying to comfort him. I didn't need to say anything else, I just repeated it. I knew he needed to let it all out.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up next to Jae. I smiled. My brother stayed beside me the whole night. It made me feel warm, he cared about me. We might not be real brothers, but we're closer then some real brothers are. I got up and pulled covers around him, then went downstairs. I just hoped Yunho won't come today. I didn't want to see him. It was Saturday and it was possible he'll stop by to hang out with Jae. Although... with Min Sun now... I didn't know. And I didn't want to think about it.  
  
I walked into the bathroom and looked at the mirror. I looked... well, terrible. My eyes were swallen - you could see that I've been crying and possibly haven't slept much. Which was true. I sighed and decided not to get out of the house today. Oh well, actually... I needed to meet someone. Luckily, I didn't have to hide in front of him.  
  
"JunKi!" I heard JaeJoong calling me. He's already up? That's weird. My brother is a world famous sleepy head. It was way too early for him.  
  
"I'm coming." I yelled back and quickly brushed my teeth, then went out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. He was already there.  
  
"You should've woken me up." He said.  
  
"Why? It's too early for you. And it's Saturday." I said as I started to make a coffee. He didn't say a thing and just leaned down on the table, as if he was going to take a nap. "Maybe you should go back to bed." I said.  
  
"No, I'm fine." He replied, lifting his head again and smiling at me.  
  
"Okay, what's wrong?" I asked as I took some cups and started making breakfast in the process.  
  
"Nothing... I just didn't exactly want to leave you alone." He replied looking down. I smiled.  
  
"I'm not a baby Jae." I replied looking at him. "I'm fine."  
  
"Okay, I know." He said smiling back at me.  
  
"Is there something else bothering you?" I asked raising my eyebrows. He didn't look really... cheerful. And I sensed it wasn't just because of me.  
  
"It's nothing." He said waving his hand. "So, what are we gonna do today?" he asked trying to go back to cheerful state.  
  
"There is something. Tell me." I said sitting down beside him.  
  
"It's not a big deal. I just had a small fight with Changmin. Nothing that can't be solved." He said quickly and smiled again.  
  
"Not a big deal? But you're all sad. If it wasn't a big deal then you'd already call him and make up." I said worriedly.  
  
"I'm telling you, it's gonna be okay." He said firmly. I decided not to ask anything. If he wanted to talk, he'll talk. As always. I just nodded and smiled.  
  
"You asked about today. I have some stuff to do, but I'll be home quickly. Maybe you should call Changmin in the meantime." I winked. "Or someone else." I added quickly, noticing his facial expression. It was definitely something more serious then just a simple small fight.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Good morning." I said happily as I walked into the kitchen. Junsu and Changmin were already eating their breakfast and I quickly took a glass of soda, then joined them.  
  
"Good morning." They replied and went back to eating.  
  
"How are you?" I asked Changmin and gave Junsu a small smile, before turning my attention to our younger friend.  
  
"Okay, I'm eating, am I?" he joked and smiled. I knew he's not completely alright, but this was something. I chuckled and started eating.  
  
"What are you guys doing today?" Changmin asked.  
  
"Well, I was thinking of going for a walk since it's such a great day and then... dunno, maybe to the movies or arcade or something." I replied shrugging.  
  
"I have some stuff to do, but I'll be back home quickly. I have to make lunch and all." Junsu replied, then glared at me.  
  
"What? It's not like I'm making you make it." I replied looking back at him. "If you want we can have lunch outside, spend some time together and all." I suggested finally. Changmin smiled and nodded.  
  
"Okay. But as I said I have some stuff to do. You go ahead, have fun, I'll meet you... let's say around three."  
  
"Alright. Call us to know where we are." I said finally and Junsu nodded.  
  
I never questioned where Junsu was going. It was his right to meet whoever he wanted and do whatever he wanted. Sometimes it just felt weird. He would disappear for a couple of hours and I was simply curious, but I promised myself not to ask a thing. I didn't want him to think I'm following his every move. Especially since we could easily get into a fight. It was enough that we didn't share the same opinion in so many things. I just didn't want to bother him.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey baby!" Min Sun greeted me. I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She seemed a bit disappointed, but I decided to ignore that. We started walking. I didn't know what exactly to talk about with her, since we talked endlessly over the phone last night and well, first thing I did this morning is to come over to her place.  
  
"How was your sleep?" she asked.  
  
"Okay." I replied. The truth was... I didn't really get much sleep last night. I just couldn't. "Yours?" I asked back.  
  
"Oh, just great. I had a dream about you." She replied happily and gave me a big smile. I smiled back.  
  
"Must be because we've been talking right before you went to bed." I said chuckling.  
  
"Maybe... but I don't think it's just that." She said. I smiled again, putting my arm around her. "Is there something wrong?" she asked suddenly. Can't I cover it up?  
  
"No, everything is great." I lied. Oh yeah, just great. Nothing was great. I was feeling sad and guilty and maybe even hurt. I don't know why. I just felt bad. And I knew it had something to do with JunKi.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Park. As always. I was leaning against a tree, waiting for Junsu.  
  
"Hi." He said simply and I smiled.  
  
"Hi." I replied. "Thanks for coming."  
  
"You really don't have to thank me." He chuckled. I knew that. I just always felt like it's the right thing to do. I had so many reasons for it.  
  
"You know that my 'thanks' to you has so many different meanings." I said.  
  
"Of course." He replied smiling genuinely. Well, yeah, he understood it all. I bet I don't even have to talk about my problems, he'll already knows everything.  
  
"So, Yunho found himself a girlfriend?" he asked casually. See? What have I told you?  
  
"Yeah." I sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For you having to experience that kind of... pain." He replied softly. I swallowed, trying to push back my tears.  
  
"It's okay. I'm okay."  
  
"No, you're not. And it's okay to feel that way."  
  
"You sound like Jae." I said smirking, then realized what I said. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be." He replied. "Do I really sound like him?"  
  
"Yeah. That's what he said to me yesterday."  
  
"Oh, well... that explains it." He said more to himself as he looked away as if he was thinking about something.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing... I'll tell you later." He said looking back at me and smiled again.  
  
"Okay." I nodded and we stopped talking for a moment.  
  
"So... did you get any sleep at all?" he asked. "I'm sorry, but you really look awful."  
  
I laughed. "You think I don't know that? I didn't even want to get out of the house today. I just had to meet certain someone. It's your fault people get to see me in this state." I said pouting playfully.  
  
"Oh really... Hyung, sometimes you're acting like a big baby, more immature then any of us."  
  
"Especially you, right?" I said raising my eyebrows.  
  
"Of course, I'm the most mature person around here." He said shrugging casually and grinned.  
  
"Actually, that's not so far from truth." I said somewhat sadly. Junsu got serious and looked at me. "Well, first the whole rivalry thing, then you pretending to be fine when you're not. You're hiding your feelings and always try to be reasonable and calm. I admire you for that." I said honestly.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at him shocked. I never thought he would say something like that to me. Actually his words didn't surprise me, he was always open with me. I just never imagined he would feel that way. I was happy. I never noticed it, but people around me respected me and liked me. First Changmin, now JunKi. They both said so many nice things about me, it could just make me blush and feel good. I was truly happy.  
  
"Thanks JunKi." I said smiling. "And you know that my 'thanks' to you has so many different meanings." I repeated his sentence. He chuckled and hugged me, causing me to smile again.  
  
"Since you're so well informed, I suppose you heard about JaeJoong and Changmin fighting." He said as we pulled apart. I nodded and looked at him letting out a sigh.  
  
"Actually, that's another thing I came to talk to you about." I replied quietly.


	19. Chapter 19

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you saying that Changmin thinks JaeJoong likes Yunho?" I asked widening my eyes and then started laughing.  
  
"Hey, now, it's not funny. You have to do something about it." Junsu replied seriously.  
  
"Me? What?" I asked raising my eyebrows this time and shook my head. "Okay, I guess I'll have to talk to Changmin and clear that out." I nodded.  
  
"I suppose JaeJoong couldn't tell him anything, he was keeping your secret. But it just came out that way and now Changmin... you should've seen him JunKi. He didn't want to eat last night. And believe me, that's nothing like Changmin. It might not seem that way, but that boy eats more then Yoochun and I together."  
  
"Well, then it really is serious. I could tell by looking at JaeJoong this morning." I said remembering the state I left Jae in. Junsu sighed and nodded.  
  
"Yeah, so... please solve that." He said quietly.  
  
"Junsu... are you okay with that? With the two of them together? I mean, I never expected it from you - to try to make them up." I said.  
  
"It doesn’t matter if I'm okay, the two of them shouldn't fight over something like this. It was a misunderstanding. And I just want them to be happy. Changmin is truly a great guy, he's my friend. And Jae... well... you know I only wish him happiness. Even if it's with Changmin and not me." He replied quietly and looked away. I knew how hard it was for him to say that. I nodded as I understood and patted his shoulder giving him a small smile.  
  
"There. You just proved your maturity. That's just not right, I'm the oldest, it really doesn't make sense." I joked and pouted a bit.  
  
"You know you'd do the same thing. Actually, you are doing it." He replied laughing and I smiled. How did we end up like this? I keep asking myself that question.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
We were sitting in the park, leaning against the tree and enjoying our ice-cream. I smiled looking at Changmin as he talked about all kind of things. From his life in New York to the last movie he saw. I felt like I could look at him forever.  
  
I was happy he was having troubles with JaeJoong, but deep inside I had a bad feeling about it. I sensed it won't last long and they will be back together in no time. I wanted to stop it, but I knew if I do something like that my relationship with Changmin will be ruined. And I didn't want to let that happen, not now that we actually started to improve it. So I was giving my best not to mention the jerk in front of him.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I really enjoyed myself. I didn't know how nice Yoochun could be, he even bought me an ice-cream. Maybe he felt guilty because of everything that happened. Maybe he wanted to apologize in some way, but was too proud to actually say it. I was beginning to think that he really was a good guy, even though rivalry was something he couldn't easily forget about. Actually, he reminded me of JaeJoong. Ever since that day when we made up we avoided talking about it, about Park brothers, me living with them and all. But I knew he couldn't forget about it and relax. And it bugged me, but I couldn't do anything about it. So I chose not to mention it again. The same thing was with Yoochun now. We were talking about everything except JaeJoong.  
  
"So, is Seoul what you thought it'll be?" he asked suddenly and looked at me. I smiled.  
  
"Actually it is a lot better then I imagined." I replied. "I was excited to come, I didn't know what to expect, but I was hoping it'll be great. But the moment I stepped out of the airplane I knew it'll be alright. I instantly liked it here and well, nothing disappointed me yet." I said still smiling. When I think about my new life in Korea I can only smile. Life was never this good in USA.  
  
"I mean, transformation from dork to an uhljjang and from single miserable straight guy to a happily in love gay guy..." I said, then frowned. I wasn't happily in love anymore.  
  
"Changmin, I think he doesn't like Yunho." Yoochun said. "I mean, they've been friends forever and no one ever noticed a hint of something more then that. Maybe he is jealous, but because he thinks he's gonna lose a friend, or worried that now they won’t have that much time to spend with each other. I don't know. But really, it sounds unbelievable. I mean, I really can't picture them together." He said.  
  
I looked at him. I knew he was trying to comfort me and it did work. But he was also looking like he was in pain. Like those were the last words he wanted to say to me. I could understand that. He was against my relationship with JaeJoong in the first place and now he was feeling like he should comfort me and the only way to do that is to prove that I'm wrong. I knew he hated to even mention JaeJoong's name. And because of that, I liked him even more. I mean, I respected him, and I loved the fact that I was able to see more of true Yoochun now.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't like to talk about him. I was spending time with Changmin, this was the first time we were actually talking. Actually getting to know each other. And the last person I wanted to talk about was JaeJoong. But I guess it was inevitable. Changmin remained silent and I decided to change the subject again.  
  
"You didn't know you were gay back in America?" I asked.  
  
"No. I just realized here." He replied.  
  
"But... how did you know? And why JaeJoong out of all people? I mean, Junsu and I are much more good looking." I joked, although it was quite true. JaeJoong was... like a girl.  
  
He widened his eyes at me, not knowing what to say and blushed. I chuckled. He looked so cute and innocent at that moment, I just wanted to kiss him. Actually, all those feelings I got the first time I saw him were getting back at me. They were always there, every time I was around him. They were making me slightly uncomfortable, but just because I didn't want to show them. At first it was because I didn't know if he was gay, then because he started dating JaeJoong. Maybe also I didn't want to show JaeJoong that Changmin is actually my weakness. I was just trying to hide it desperately. Sometimes I thought people knew, I thought Junsu knew. Then I would back off and even try to avoid Changmin. I guess he rarely saw me during lunch. It was just too hard to watch him sit with JaeJoong. But the point was... no matter how uncomfortable those feelings were making me, they were also making me happy. Even if Changmin couldn't respond to them. Yet.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was looking at him. What was that suppose to mean? Was it just one of his lame jokes or he actually wanted to be in JaeJoong's place. God, I'm thinking about this way too much. He chuckled, I let out a laugh myself. Actually, there was something about it, the feelings I got when I first saw Yoochun were something else, something more... then I have ever felt for JaeJoong. But that's not something he'll find out. I won't let that happen. Just like I won't let myself think about that anymore.  
  
"Did you know Junsu and I are gay?" Yoochun suddenly asked. How come he was doing all the asking? Am I that dumb that I can't even think of anything to talk about? Oh yeah, he asked something. Wait, him and Junsu are gay?  
  
"No." I said. I must've looked surprised since he chuckled again.  
  
"Oh Changminnie, you're so cute and innocent." He said looking at me. I could feel myself blush and made a face, which only proved my embarrassment. "But, yeah, we are."  
  
"Since when?" I asked. "And who knows? I mean, in school girls are all around you. Are you trying to keep it secret or what?"  
  
"Well, since like last year. I started liking one of my classmates and it scared me at first. You know the drill. But then I accepted it and well, told him. It didn't go good. But he didn't say anything to anyone, he just transferred to the other school." He said and shrugged. "I didn't really care about him that much, he was just a crush. But he made me realize who I really am and well, I consider him an important person in my life." I nodded and smiled. "As for Junsu... he kind of went through the same thing JaeJoong did. We went out in a club and met some guys. I guess Junsu just drank a little bit too much. And started making out with one of them. We were teasing him and joked about it, but I guess it really meant more to him. He never looked at a girl again after that night. Although, to tell you the truth, he never was looking at girls before that. He wasn't even that confused or scared of what he did that night. It often made me think he was already gay and knew about it. I don't know, there is a lot of things about my dongsaeng that I don't understand." He sighed. "Oh and about the other people... it's not like we're hiding we're gay. We're actually pretty proud of it. But somehow no one ever realized it. I guess it's because there are always bunch of girls following us and well, I don't want to be rude and just yell at them, I don't really mind them, no girl was that crazy to like stalk me or be pain in the @ss yet, so I let them be. I don't know how, but it looks like people don't know about our real sexual orientation. But even if they knew I wouldn't care and I know Junsu wouldn't either. We wouldn't mind if people knew. Well, actually, the only people we still can't tell about it are our parents." He finished.  
  
"Are you afraid of their reaction?" I asked. My parents' reaction was something that was bugging me actually. I didn't know if I'll ever be able to tell them. But I knew that some day I will have to.  
  
"I'm not exactly afraid, but I know they certainly won't be the happiest people alive when they find out. And I just want to avoid that reaction as long as I can. It's not the smartest thing to do, but... I just can't tell them." He replied sighing a bit again.  
  
"Yeah, I can't imagine telling my parents either." I replied.  
  
"Well, maybe we should do it together. Some day. I mean, they're best friends, maybe they can go through that together." He said and laughed.  
  
"Oh god, imagine that. They'll kill all three of us. At least I know my parents will kill me and knowing yours... well, let's say they're pretty much alike. Trust me, they spend way too much time together." I replied chuckling.  
  
"Yeah, that's never good." Yoochun replied shaking his head a bit and smiled. "When are you planning to go back to America? I mean, to visit them."  
  
"This summer." I replied shortly. I didn't really have any special wish to go sooner. Even though I missed umma and appa.  
  
"This summer? It's only November." He said widening his eyes at me.  
  
"Yeah. So? It's not like I miss anything but my parents there." I said shrugging. I liked it here, if they could've come here instead I would be much happier. I might have spent 6 years of my life in America, but I didn't really miss it now that I was here.  
  
"Okay... well, would you mind me going with you? I haven't seen my parents in a couple of months and well, I have never been to America either. Maybe you can show me around and all..." he said shyly. Wow, I didn't know Park Yoochun can be shy. I smiled.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Plus, that way I'll have a company too." I replied and smiled even more broadly. I can't believe how much I enjoyed this. I even forgot about JaeJoong for a moment. I wonder what's he doing now.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I came back home and looked around for Jae.  
  
"Jae?" I called, but it looked like he went out somewhere. Oh well, I had some stuff to do anyway. Actually some Jae's unfinished business I had to take care of. I already called Changmin and we were supposed to meet in two hours so, I quickly made a dinner and went out of the house again.  
  
Changmin was waiting for me in the small café, not so far away from both of our houses. I smiled seeing him. This kid was great, everyone were saying that and well, I didn't know how to feel about him. I mean, I liked spending time with him, he was smart and honest, it was truly a satisfaction talking to him. I just didn't know what to do. He was my brother's boyfriend and some sort of my best friend's rival. And I... well, all I could do was sit down and watch what's gonna happen in that sick love triangle. Someone will get hurt for sure and I didn't want to watch that. But I had no choice.  
  
"Hey." I said smiling and sat down across from him.  
  
"Hey JunKi." He replied.  
  
"Well, umm... I called you to explain what happened." I said not really knowing how to tell him. "You know, that day, Jae was only thinking about me. It's not him who is in love with Yunho, it's me." I said looking away. I didn't like to say that, it hurt every time. And now one more person knew about it. It was getting more and more risky, I was afraid that the truth will come out soon. I knew Changmin won't say a thing, but still. I felt uncomfortable with more people knowing it.  
  
"JunKi..." he started. "I don't know what to say."  
  
"You don't have to say anything, don't worry about it." I said giving him a smile. "I just wanted to clear that, Jae couldn't. He couldn't tell you my secret, he knew I didn't want anyone to know. I actually didn't know he knew either, but I guess I couldn't really hide it well. Or he knows me too well. I don't know. The point is, it was just a misunderstanding, you guys shouldn't fight over things like that." I said.  
  
"Thanks... I guess I was an idiot doubting like that. I knew Jae couldn't really do something like that to me. If he didn't like me, he'd tell me right?" Changmin said thinking about it. "Even Yoochun said so."  
  
"Yoochun?" I asked surprised. Park Yoochun defended JaeJoong? I would have never expected that. I smiled.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded. "I talked to Yoochun a lot these days. You don't mind that? I mean, you think the whole rivalry is stupid too."  
  
"Of course." I nodded. Well, my best friend in Junsu. I wonder how he would react if I told him. I already said one secret of mine, I think it's enough for now. "You should keep your friends no matter what Jae sais or thinks. Besides, Park brothers are not bad people." I added.  
  
Changmin smiled, but it didn't last long.  
  
"I wish Jae would think the same."  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Junsu, where is Changmin?" Yoochun asked stepping into the kitchen.  
  
"I sent him to buy something for me." I said. Well, it was true. Kind of. He also went to meet JunKi, but Yoochun didn't need to know that. "Sit down, I'm making coffee."  
  
Yoochun smiled and took a seat and I joined him pretty soon.  
  
"How are you?" I asked.  
  
"Okay." He replied. "Why?"  
  
"Oh nothing, just... we haven't talked in a while, I'm worried about you. As always."  
  
"You always worry about stupid things. Nothing's wrong, just relax and enjoy life." He said smiling broadly.  
  
Yeah... sometimes I admire you hyung. If only I could do that, not thinking about anything, just yell it all, let it out of myself, not worrying about consequences. And then relax and enjoy it. Forbidden desire.


	20. Chapter 20

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hello?" I picked up the phone and smiled as I heard a familiar voice.  
  
"Hey Jae, can we meet in that café across from school in like... fifteen minutes?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure, I'll be right there." I replied, trying to sound casually, but in fact, I was happy to hear him. He didn't sound mad or like he was going to do something I wouldn't like, so it gave me hope. As soon as I hung up I walked out of the house and to that café.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled at the waitress as she brought me coffee and thanked her, then took the cup and took a small sip. It was hot, so I decided to put it away for now. I looked around, not many people were at the café at this time on Sunday, so I wasn't surprised the place was practically empty. I preferred it that way anyway.  
  
"Hi." He said as he approached me and I gave him a small smile, before he took his seat across from me.  
  
The waitress returned and Jae ordered his coffee, then turned back to me, waiting for me to say something.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said quietly. I wasn't ashamed to say it, I was wrong. I was just ashamed because of my foolishness. I was wrong, I made such a mistake, I misjudged him and he didn't deserve it. He simply nodded, as if waiting for me to continue. "I didn't know what was going on and I assumed wrong. I feel stupid now, to think that you like Yunho. I didn't trust you and that's the worst of it all. I'm sorry." I said honestly and looked at him.  
  
"It's okay." He said after a couple of moments of silence. "You didn't know." I nodded, feeling stupid again.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Part of me was happy he cared about me. He was jealous. I understood him. But it felt awful to think that he didn't trust me. I decided to ignore that. Among many other things that bugged me. Why doesn't this relationship go the way it's supposed to? It just seems like... we're trying too hard.  
  
I put my hand over his and smiled warmly. He instantly relaxed.  
  
"We're okay, right?" he asked.  
  
"Of course." I nodded.  
  
We drank our coffee silently for a couple of moments when a thought appeared in my mind.  
  
"But... how did you know?" I asked suddenly.  
  
"Oh... Junki hyung told me everything." He replied. Junki?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you ready?" I asked Min Sun as she walked out of her room.  
  
"Yeah, let's go." She said cheerfully and we walked out of the house. "Where are you taking me today oppa?" she asked as we started walking. I smiled.  
  
"I want you to meet someone." I replied. "The two most important people in my life." I added. She looked at me surprised and somewhat alarmed. "Relax, it's not my parents." I said chuckling and put my arm around her waist.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
JaeJoong walked me home. I felt good again. It was weird, it looked like JaeJoong wasn't expecting JunKi telling me what happened. But I also noticed he was glad he did so. As long as we were back together I was happy.  
  
"Okay, well... I'll see you tomorrow." I said as we stopped in front of my house. He nodded and pulled me closer, planting a soft kiss on my lips. I smiled and kissed him back, deepening it and putting my arms around him. He tasted great. Or maybe it was just me missing him these two days.  
  
When we finally pulled apart I walked up to the door and glanced at him one last time, before entering the house.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sighed, moving away from the window. There they are, back together. I knew it will happen, but it still hurts. I don't want to give Changmin sh.it about it anymore. It's clear that he'll do whatever he wants. Besides, I don't want to ruin our friendship now. Friendship. It's funny how that word hurts more then anything right now.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You're home." I said smiling at Changmin.  
  
"Yeah." He replied happily and sat down next to me.  
  
"Want some coffee?" I asked.  
  
"No thanks, I just drank some." He said.  
  
"You look so happy."  
  
"Yeah, Jae and me made up." He replied.  
  
So, Junki talked to him. I knew everything will get back to 'normal'. How I hate that. How it hurts me. Deal with it Junsu, there's nothing you can do to change things. Not now, not ever.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I'm coming." I said walking to the door. Who could it be? Jae wouldn't ring the bell. Nor would Yunho. But okay, I guess that's good, at least it can't be Yunho. I still don't want to see him.  
  
I opened the door and widened my eyes a bit. My heart instantly fell, but I managed to smile.  
  
"Yunho..." I said looking at him and then glanced at the girl who was standing next to him.  
  
"Min Sun, this is my hyung, JunKi."  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled brightly watching them introduce themselves and then Junki let us in.  
  
"Jae is not at home?" I asked walking into the kitchen with Min Sun.  
  
"No, he had some unfinished business to take care of." Junki replied smiling a bit. "Him and Changmin had a fight, I suppose they're making up now."  
  
"Oh." I said and nodded. Weird how those two have been dating for such a short time and still managed to have a couple of fights already.  
  
"But he should be here soon, he went a while ago." Junki added and started making coffee.  
  
"So, Min Sun, I heard a lot about you... Okay, not a lot, but I think it's better that way, I wanted to meet you and get to know you better myself. Yunho can be subjective." JunKi continued, sitting down across from us. He was looking at Min Sun, like he was trying to focus on her instead of me. It kind of made me feel... mad?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Oh great. Now I have to deal with both Yunho and his girlfriend. Just when I thought I'll have a peaceful Sunday. Now it's gonna be hell.  
  
I tried hard not to look at him and instead kept my eyes on Min Sun. What did he see in her anyway? She was nothing special. Pretty, but not stunning, decent looking I guess was the right expression. I know she's a good dancer, but it can't be her only quality. I definitely need to get to know her better. As much as it hurts me. Well, since she's already here we should get it over with I guess.  
  
My mind doesn't give me peace. I can't think properly, especially now that they're in front of me. I feel like I'm some ex-boyfriend and he brought her here just to show off. I just have that awful feeling. Like he's trying to rub it in. Of course, he doesn't know about me being in love with him, so it's impossible. My mind just couldn't stop messing with me, torturing me. I don't know, maybe it's jealousy kicking in, but what does she have that I don't? Oh yeah, she's a girl.  
  
I smiled again. I must've looked really stupid grinning like an idiot. I glanced at Yunho at one moment and he just gave me a weird look.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Why is he acting like that? Is he afraid that she won't accept him, that she won't like him? That's ridiculous, he's great, there is no person who wouldn't like him. Even if it happens, which I just can't believe is possible, she'll just have to deal with it. He's my best friend, practically my older brother. He means the world to me, she'll just have to accept that.  
  
JunKi stood up and poured us some coffee, then went back to his seat. I watched his every move. Is it just me or do I not really pay attention to anyone else when JunKi is around? What am I thinking?  
  
I looked at Min Sun and smiled. I felt kind of bad, all I was doing was thinking about JunKi ever since we stepped into this house. I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled at my sudden action, then pulled a bit away from me, taking a sip of her coffee.  
  
  
Min Sun's P.O.V.  
  
  
The moment I stepped into this house I felt slightly weird. I don't know what feeling exactly it was, but I wasn't really comfortable. JunKi and I started to talk, he was really sweet to me, trying to make me feel comfortable, but still I felt like I'm an intruder. Maybe I'm just imagining it, I should get used to it, to Yunho's friends, to this whole new situation. I know JunKi and his brother mean a lot to Yunho, so it's important to him that I get along with them too. Yeah, I'll do my best, that's all I can say. The bad thing is... I feel like it's not gonna be easy.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I don't know what's taking him so long." I said glancing at the clock. Jae should've been here a while ago. Oh well, I know he's probably having fun with Changmin, so I can't blame him. At least he has someone, me on the other hand... right now I have my love and his girlfriend. Just great. I swear people will start pity me. If they already didn't.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I took my time walking home. I just needed time to think. Something still didn't feel right. Okay, I know, I should be happy that everything between me and Changmin is okay, back to the way it was. And yeah, I'm satisfied. Happiness is something else. The more time I spend with Changmin the more I'm aware of it. I'm not happy.  
  
But what really was bothering me at the moment was the fact that JunKi knew about mine and Changmin's fight. And I didn't tell him anything. I just said we've been fighting. Oh well, maybe Changmin told him about it. But still, somehow it sounds a bit unbelievable. Since when have they been so close?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
My hand was wrapped around Min Sun's waist, but I didn't feel the warmth of her body next to me. Actually, I felt extremely cold. I kept looking at hyung as he was cheerfully chatting with Min Sun. I glanced at her, it seemed like she was having fun. Well, at least someone was.  
  
I couldn't help but look at JunKi again. Just his way of speaking fascinated me and made me smile. Yeah, I was smiling, but something inside me was hurting. I even think I was slightly jealous how he turned his attention to Min Sun completely, like I wasn't even there. I wanted him to look at me, like so many times before. He wasn't looking at me, it was like he decided not to look at me ever again and he was very good at it. Didn't he miss the eye contact with me? Didn't he miss me?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was trying hard not to look at Yunho. But every time he would turn his head to Min Sun I would glance at him. Stealing glances? Definitely. I became good at it, I became a pro. As much as I hated doing it, as much as I wanted to look into his eyes I couldn't. I knew I wouldn't be able to take it. It was bad enough that every time he would kiss her I would feel my heart aching.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked up to my house and opened the door.  
  
"Hyung!" I called. "How did you..." I started as I walked further into the house, but stopped suddenly, as I noticed two other people there, next to JunKi.  
  
"JaeJoong?" the girl said and I narrowed my eyes.  
  
"Min Sun." I muttered, glaring at her.


	21. Chapter 21

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I forgot you guys know each other." I said looking from Min Sun to JaeJoong. Something was wrong there. I mean, JaeJoong looked like he wanted to kill her. What the hell? I glanced at JunKi and he looked like he knew what that was about.  
  
"Yeah, we're old... friends." Min Sun said glancing away from JaeJoong and looking at me.  
  
"Friends... yeah." JaeJoong smirked and shook his head a bit. "More like acquaintances. Especially after everything that happened." He muttered as he walked up to the counter and poured himself coffee. I watched him confused. He turned around and looked at Min Sun again. "So... how is Yuri?" he asked.  
  
Yuri? His ex? How come... Min Sun knows her? I looked at her and she smiled nervously at me, then looked at Jae.  
  
"She's... fine." She replied. "How are you?"  
  
"Like you care." Jae snapped and smirked again. He looked... disgusted.  
  
"JaeJoong." JunKi spoke up and looked at him in a 'she's our guest' way. Jae narrowed his eyes again.  
  
"Can I talk to you, Yunho?" he asked and I nodded silently. For some reason I couldn't speak. I guess I was a bit shocked. I looked at Min Sun and she nodded. And then I followed JaeJoong out of the kitchen.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
As soon as we stepped into the living room I turned to him.  
  
"I didn't think you'd bring her here." I said.  
  
"Well, you're my best friends, of course I wanted her to meet you." He replied looking at me. He looked confused. I knew I had to explain my behavior.  
  
"Well, maybe it wasn't the best idea."  
  
"I noticed." He said darkly.  
  
"Yeah, Min Sun is Yuri's best friend." I said. "I didn't want to see her again."  
  
"But she's my girlfriend now."  
  
"I know Yunho. You couldn't pick any other girl? You just had to end up with her, who just happens to be Yuri's best friend. You know how hard it was for me when we broke up. I just don't need someone to remind me of her. Or that period of my life." I said.  
  
"But I'm dating her now. It just happened that way and your problems with Yuri, that awful break-up and just everything that happened... it has nothing to do with me. Or Min Sun." he replied. I could see he was getting angry.  
  
"Oh great. Does that mean I don't mean anything to you?" I said dramatically.  
  
"I didn't say that."  
  
"No, but you meant it. I don't mean anything and JunKi doesn't mean anything either, right?"  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Junki? What does hyung have to do with this?  
  
"Stop putting words into my mouth." I said raising my voice. "You know I care about you guys, but she's my girlfriend now." I repeated.  
  
"Yeah, she means more. Someone you just met means more to you then your best friends. You're really something." He replied angrily.  
  
"JaeJoong. That is so not true and you know it." I said angrily as well. He managed to ruin my mood and pi$$ me off at the same time. The two of us never fought and to fight over something like this... was it worth it? I don't know, but at that moment I knew JaeJoong wasn't right and I didn't want to let him win.  
  
"That is true. Min Sun wouldn't do something like that for you, I'm telling you." He replied and I could feel the anger boiling inside of me.  
  
"You're talking nonsense. First of all, I'm not choosing her over you guys and even if I did I'm sure she would do the same thing for me." I replied trying to calm myself, but it didn't work. "Why can't you let me be happy? You have Changmin, I found myself someone for the first time and damn... what is your problem?"  
  
"Happy? You're happy now?" he replied smirking again. I hated that nasty smirk of his. It made him look like such a bastard. And at this moment he was.  
  
"Yes I am."  
  
"You're truly happy with her?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You don't even know what happiness is Yunho." He said.  
  
"And you do?"  
  
"Of course. I was happy. With Yuri." He added quietly. I remained silent for a moment as I looked at him. Was he not happy with Changmin?  
  
"Whatever. You're bringing her up again?"  
  
"Well, you're the one who caused me to think about her now. You're the one with a girlfriend who's her best friend. You're the one who keeps hurting people around you." He said angrily again. That last sentence confused me and hurt me, but I decided to ignore it.  
  
"Well, fine. Since you can't stand my girlfriend that much I'll save you the pain of spending time with her." I replied angrily and walked out of the room and into the kitchen.  
  
I smiled at JunKi weakly and looked at Min Sun.  
  
"We're going." I said shortly and gave her a small smile, before taking her hand. "I'm sorry JunKi." I said turning to him and he nodded sadly. The next thing I knew I was outside the house, with Min Sun next to me.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said quietly.  
  
"It's okay. You didn't know." She replied softly. "Well, I didn't know either. When I saw JaeJoong I thought that maybe he'll forget everything that happened in the past and that we'll be able to be friends."  
  
I nodded and sighed. Well, it looked like JaeJoong wasn't ready for that. I was disappointed. And I felt bad. I've never had a fight with JaeJoong before, I felt extremely bad. There was also something he said that made me confused and I couldn't help but ask myself over and over again. Who am I hurting that much? And am I truly happy?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched JaeJoong walk into the kitchen and sit down across from me. I didn't know what to say to him and I knew he didn't feel like talking either. We sat like that for some time.  
  
"Was that really necessary?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. That was the only way for me to make them leave." He said quietly and then looked back at me. "And stop you from hurting."  
  
He did it for me? I was surprised. I stood up.  
  
"Nothing can stop me from hurting. Because it's not Yunho or Min Sun who's hurting me, I don't need them, I hurt myself." I replied quietly and walked out of the kitchen.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
The whole week passed since we had that fight. Yunho hasn't tried to make up and I on the other hand tried to ignore him as much as possible. It was better that way. Anything to stop JunKi from suffering. He might be hurting, but he'd be hurting much more if he had to see Yunho coming over every single day. I miss my best friend, of course I do. But I'm trying to make myself busy, I'm seeing Changmin a lot more and well, I'm just trying to keep my mind off Yunho.  
  
"You're thinking about him." Changmin said suddenly and I looked down at him. He was laying down, on the couch, with his head in my lap. I smiled sadly.  
  
"You know I do."  
  
"Why don't you make up already? You're being stubborn. And I don't think it helps JunKi either." He said.  
  
"Still... he's better without him around." I replied quietly, although I had the feeling Changmin was right.  
  
"I think you're hurt too." Changmin said. I looked at him a bit weirdly.  
  
"Well, yeah, I get not to see my best friend. I miss him."  
  
"That's not what I meant. I think you're hurt because he kind of rejects JunKi. Although he's not even aware of that. The point is, he's rejecting the Kim hotness and that makes you feel... offended." He concluded and grinned looking at me. I laughed.  
  
"Oh very funny. JunKi is not even a Kim."  
  
"That's beside the point." He continued to tease me.  
  
"How can it be? We're not blood related... although we really look like brothers. How weird is that?"  
  
"You're brothers. No one can tell that you're not blood related." Changmin shrugged. "Besides, you grew up together, you've been living together for as long as you guys can remember... I heard that people start to look alike after so many years of living together." He nodded and smiled.  
  
"Oh, so does that mean that I'm gonna look like you after some time?" I asked smiling brightly.  
  
"Only if I get some of your hotness in return." He said winking. I laughed and leaned down to kiss him.  
  
I enjoyed the time I was spending with Changmin. But the feeling wasn't complete. I was constantly missing something. I don't know what it was, I just felt like there is something that's waiting for me and I desperately need it. Something else, something more. Or is it someone?  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I know JaeJoong wants JunKi to be happy. But he can't just have a fight with Yunho and push him away. It's not gonna change anything. JunKi is hurting and that's it. Sometimes I wonder if there's more to it. Maybe JaeJoong was still hurt because of Yuri. Maybe he didn't want to admit it, but Min Sun's presence might really bug him. Every time I asked him about his ex-girlfriend he avoided the subject. I decided not to ask anything, but clearly he still has trouble talking about it.  
  
I walked into the house. I spent the whole day with JaeJoong. Junsu and Yoochun might have been worried. Last time I came back late Yoochun was waiting for me to lecture me. Like I'm some little kid. It annoys me, but at the same time it proves that he cares about me. That thought itself makes me smile and feel... loved? Why do I want Yoochun to love me?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You're home." I said giving him a small smile. He nodded.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked walking up to me.  
  
"Making dinner for me. Want some?"  
  
"No thanks. Where is Junsu?" he asked looking around. He must have been surprised that it was me making the dinner.  
  
"I don't know. I think he went for a walk or something." I replied shrugging. "Did you have fun?" I asked looking at him. He nodded again.  
  
"Yeah, it was a nice day."  
  
"Good." I said quietly and frowned a little bit. I wanted him to have fun. But with JaeJoong? It still hurt.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey guys! I brought some..." I stopped as I saw Yoochun cutting some vegetables. "... food." I finished, then sighed. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Making dinner." He said and gave me a 'what do you think I'm doing?' look.  
  
"No, you're not. That's my job." I said simply and opened the fridge to leave some stuff that I bought.  
  
"Well, you weren't here. How am I supposed to know that you'll be back before we starve?"  
  
"As you can see I came back. And you two seem perfectly healthy and far from starving." I replied. "Besides, when have I left you without making some food?" He didn't say anything. "Okay, now move." I said pushing him away gently and took his place.  
  
"Junsu... where are you going when you just disappear like that?" Yoochun suddenly asked me. I froze.  
  
"I just go for a walk, think about stuff..." I replied, remaining calm.  
  
"What stuff?"  
  
"Just... what's going on around me." I said shrugging.  
  
"And that's what?"  
  
"Will you stop questioning me?" I asked turning around. "School, friends, your stupid rivalry... Satisfied?" I practically yelled.  
  
"Okay... chill." Yoochun replied taking a step back and raising his hands a bit. "Sorry I asked."  
  
"Sorry I snapped." I replied quietly and turned back to making dinner.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
He's hiding something. He's definitely hiding something. I'll find out sooner or later Junsu, I know I will.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hyung?" JaeJoong called me and I looked away from the tv as he walked into the room.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I wanted to ask you something last week and then just... stuff happened. So, I kind of forgot." He started. I waited for him to continue. "Changmin told me you told him everything and that's how he knew he was wrong. That's why we made up." He said. "But... how did you know?"  
  
I watched him as I was trying to think quickly. I didn't know if it was safe to say that Changmin told me, but it was my only chance. I couldn't possibly tell him Junsu did. So, I decided to take that risk.  
  
"Well, Changmin told me." I said and gave him a small smile.  
  
"Oh, okay. That's what I thought." Jae nodded and went out of the room.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
Yeah, I did think that. But it still sounds a bit unbelievable. But hey, hyung wouldn't lie to me. Would he?


	22. Chapter 22

Changmin’s P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at the mirror and smiled at the image of myself. I didn't look bad at all, nothing like the geek I used to be. Walking out of my room I headed downstairs and peeked at the kitchen.  
  
"Junsu, I'm going." I said and then chuckled as I looked at him. "What are you doing?"  
  
"What do you think? I'm making some food." He replied and I raised my eyebrow in return. "What? You never know if I'll be able to make some tomorrow... I mean, after tonight, who knows what can happen. I can't... what was that again... oh yeah, leave you two to starve." He nodded. I sighed shaking my head. He was really something.  
  
"Where is Yoochun?" I asked.  
  
"Probably in his room, dressing up and all. I swear he spends too much time in front of the mirror. Especially when we're supposed to go somewhere. That's why we can never make it on time." Junsu replied and looked at me. "You look great." He said checking me out and I smiled.  
  
"Thanks. You too." I replied and he smiled back. "I'll be late. I'll see you later." I said and Junsu gave me a small wave as I headed for the door.  
  
"If we ever make it..." I heard him mumble as he turned back to his food.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was sitting in my car, waiting for Changmin to get out of his house. I didn't want to go in and wait for him. I don't want to step into that house. Park brothers and the whole situation. I might be Changmin's boyfriend, but it's just too much. I glanced out of the window, scanning the place I used to come to often when I was a little kid. It hasn't changed a bit... from the outside. I wonder what's it like inside. Does it look the same? Does it still have the same familiar smell? I sighed. I guess I'll never know. Right when I was about to look away a figure appeared on one of the windows. I smirked recognizing the face. Park Yoochun. Jealous yet? I wonder how much more can you get?  
  
Changmin walked out of the house and got into my car. I smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss.  
  
"You look hot." I said.  
  
"Look who's talking." He replied and I chuckled as I started the engine. I glanced up once again, but there was no one to return my gaze.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
They'll be there tonight. I know they will. They wouldn't miss a party like that. Imagine that, the kingka and one of the uhljjangs not appearing at one of the hottest parties this year. Not to mention that this is probably the last big party we'll have in this year. New Year is coming closer.  
  
I was sitting in Min Sun's room, staring at... nothing really. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts. I hated fighting with JaeJoong. In fifteen years of friendship this was our first serious fight. I don't know, I partly understood him, but he wasn't right. I don't know if he honestly still cares about Yuri, if it still hurts him that much. I think he overreacted. I mean, a year passed and he still can't get over it? Besides, it's not like I'm dating Yuri, I'm just dating her best friend. It's not that big of a deal. Yuri is in Japan anyway. It shouldn't bug him all that much.  
  
Ever since that day I kept thinking about it. And one thought constantly appeared in my mind. I'm hurting someone with my actions. And it's not just JaeJoong. Actually, I think I'm not hurting him all that much. He meant someone else. The only person that comes into my mind is JunKi hyung, but there is absolutely no reason for him to be hurt by this. Besides, he's been so nice to Min Sun, they talked, laughed. They really looked like they were having fun. Was it all just an act?  
  
"You drifted off again." I heard Min Sun, who stood in front of me.  
  
"Oh, yeah... sorry. Are you ready?" I asked looking up at her.  
  
"Not yet." She said seductively and took a step forward, then settled herself on my lap and kissed me. I smiled against her lips and kissed her back, then pulled away.  
  
"We should get going, you know." I said, but she shook her head and leaned down to trace kisses down my neck. I let out a small moan and wrapped my arms around her, moving my right hand down her back.  
  
"We still have time..." she whispered as she kept teasing my skin with light kisses and nibbles.  
  
"Min Sun..." I started, but she cut me off, pressing her lips against mine again. I couldn't argue with that. But somehow my mind managed to trail off to... hyung again? Why? Why am I thinking about him again?  
  
Min Sun suddenly pulled away and I looked at her a bit surprised.  
  
"You're thinking about them, right?" I opened my mouth to say something, but then changed my mind and simply nodded. "Great." She scoffed, getting up from my lap and sighed. "You should talk to JaeJoong. Just get it over with. It's ridiculous to continue with this fight. You're... miserable... and I'm sure he is too." She said. "I'm gonna get ready." She added and disappeared behind the bathroom door.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I wasn't a big fan of these... parties. It has never been something I loved to attend. I wonder how I became kingka. A pretty face and a nice personality did the trick, I guess. I'm just a person that everyone gets along with pretty fine and that's it. Although a lot of people consider me conceited because I don't talk much nor go out with girls. I just don't go out all that often, which makes me... weird. At least that's what people think of me. I know they do, they kept asking Jae about me and he told me all about the impression I leave on people. I don't care much. People I care about know that and the one I care about the most doesn't care about me. So nothing really matters.  
  
People started to come and I smiled as some of my classmates approached me. They started chatting cheerfully and I tried to keep up with them, but my mind was trailing away. I kept glancing around, looking for someone... JaeJoong, Changmin, Junsu... Yunho. When am I gonna stop looking for him?  
  
"JunKi!" I heard someone calling me and I turned around.  
  
"Hey Changmin." I said smiling warmly at the boy.  
  
"What are you doing there all by yourself? Come here..." he said grabbing my wrist and dragging me to the bar. I followed quietly and sat on the stool, grabbing a bottle of soju.  
  
"Where's Jae?" I asked.  
  
"Restroom." Changmin shrugged and smiled. "How are you?"  
  
"Okay. As always." I shrugged. "You know."  
  
"Yeah... let's not talk about it tonight, okay?" he said giving me another smile. "Let's just have fun."  
  
"Oh, it's gonna be fun. I bet everyone is coming, right?" I said smirking. "Junsu and Yoochun..." I started. Yunho and Min Sun. I don't want to say it outloud, but of course, they're gonna be here.  
  
"Yeah. You don't think anything will happen?" Changmin said suddenly sounding concerned.  
  
"Well, as long as we keep Jae away from Yoochun, everything will be fine." I replied. "But this is definitely gonna be an interesting night."  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
We finally arrived. I put my arm around Min Sun's waist as we walked in. The place was pretty crowded already and I scanned it, trying to find someone who's more then just an acquaintance to me. Well, actually, I was looking for him. I mean them. Oh who am I kidding?  
  
"Who are you looking for?" Min Sun asked. I looked at her and smiled.  
  
"No one." I said simply, but she raised an eyebrow. I looked away. She didn't say a thing.  
  
We continued to walk further into the crowd. I didn't feel like dancing. At least not yet, but Min Sun already turned to me.  
  
"I'm gonna dance, wanna join?" she asked.  
  
"Later." I replied. "I'm gonna get myself something to drink." She nodded and disappeared in the crowd. I knew that soon she'll become the center of the attention. Who wouldn't want to stand aside and watch a hot girl show off her amazing dancing skills. It was weird but Min Sun... she was a female version of me.  
  
As soon as she turned her back on me I looked around again. Damn, where is he? As I couldn't find him I slowly walked up to the bar and took a drink. Looking up from it I finally spotted him.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Jae joined us and started talking. I couldn't even listen, it was hard enough that the music was too loud for my sensitive ears and that my mind was somewhere else.  
  
"Yah, hyung..." Jae said and laughed a bit. "Come on, just for tonight, try to have fun." I nodded.  
  
"Don't worry about me."  
  
"We do worry." Changmin said as he stepped closer to JaeJoong and my little donsaeng put his arms around him. I made a face.  
  
"Yep, guys, rub it in." I joked, although it was kind of hurting me that they had each other while I had no one. I knew I shouldn't be jealous of my little brother and his boyfriend, but I couldn't help it.  
  
"Sorry." They chuckled and started talking to each other, but I wasn't listening anymore. The only person I could see for such a long time was staring right back at me in that very moment.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"For such a young adorable nerd you have such a dirty mind." I gasped playfully as Changmin continued to whisper naughty things into my ear. He never failed to surprise me and it was definitely a good thing in our relationship. He giggled at my comment and rested his head on my shoulder as he looked at hyung and I did the same.  
  
"Hyung?" I asked. JunKi obviously drifted off to his wonderland again. I wanted him to snap out of it, but sadly I began to realize that that might be impossible. I'm just pointlessly trying.  
  
"Jae..." Changmin whispered again and pointed at something. Obviously, that's what caught JunKi's attention.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I broke the eye contact and looked at JaeJoong. I was hurt, but I wasn't sure if it was because I missed my best friend or because I missed hyung, or both... or because of something else. And I missed them, especially JunKi. I missed him terribly. Even Min Sun noticed. Well, all I ever talked about for these past couple of days was JunKi and JaeJoong.  
  
I frowned at the sight of JaeJoong. He looked hurt as well, but still somewhat angry. I sighed and turned around, back to my drink. I didn't really want to see him now.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked from Yunho to JaeJoong and then at JunKi. As soon as Yunho turned his back to us JunKi hyung sighed and took another big sip of his soju, then leaned against the bar. JaeJoong seemed sad and slightly into his own thoughts. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. Everything seemed wrong.  
  
"Guys, let's... dance." I said finally. At least I came up with something.  
  
JunKi looked at me and gave me a smile, I was happy to see it, although I knew he didn't felt like it.  
  
"It's okay, guys, you go ahead, have fun. I'm gonna drink a bit more, then find someone to talk to... I'm not really into dancing." He said and looked from me to JaeJoong, flashing him a smile as well.  
  
Grabbing Jae's hand I walked to the dance floor with him and started dancing.  
  
"Thanks." He said and smiled.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For ruining awkward moment." I smiled brightly and pulled him closer.  
  
"Anytime." I whispered into his ear and nibbled on his earlobe softly, as I put my hands on his hips. I smirked as he let out a soft moan and continued to dance along with him.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
As he pulled me closer to him I wrapped my arms around his neck and then slowly moved one of them down his back, teasing him. If he could play like that, so could I. I felt him shiver slightly under my touch and I smirked back at him.  
  
He moved his head up and traced kisses along my cheek, until he finally reached my lips. And he stopped right there. I don't know why he hesitated, maybe because of the crowd surrounding us. But I couldn't take it anymore, so I leaned in and kissed him. I could see he was surprised for a moment, but then kissed me right back, finally wrapping his arms around my waist. I had one hand on his cheek and the other on the small of his back. I smiled as he explored my mouth with his tongue, sending shivers along my body, causing me to moan.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I ran my hand up his back and finally pulled away. I looked into his eyes and rested my forehead against his, then moved my head, letting him rest his on my shoulder.  
  
Feeling JaeJoong relax in my arms, I looked away finally. Only to see someone else at the entrance. And he was looking right back at me, making my heart skip a beat.


	23. Chapter 23

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Changmin and Kim jerk were kissing. And I just stood there staring. Finally, they pulled away and Changmin looked at me. I felt my heart sinking, but I tried to keep my emotionless face. Something tells me it didn't work well. Either that or Changmin was actually feeling something for me. No, it can't be true. But his face was suddenly... kind of sad. I continued to look at him and he didn't look away. Now it made my heart skip a beat. He looked so hot, but still, he was in the arms of that jerk.  
  
Just when I thought that, JaeJoong turned his head and faced me, while his hands went up Changmin's back. He glanced at me for a moment, then looked up at Changmin and leaned to kiss his jaw. I felt my anger boiling and I was trying hard to remain calm. And then the bastard looked straight at me and smirked. Man, he has the guts. I wanted to beat him up right then and there, but something was holding me. Or rather someone.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't need to see that. I definitely didn't need to witness JaeJoong's and Changmin's little make out session. God, it hurts like hell but I have to ignore all that pain. I have to look away at least. But I can't. My legs were glued to the floor and my eyes to them. And the two of them were looking right back at me. Or wait, was it Yoochun?  
  
I glanced at my hyung and just in time. He already made a small movement towards them and I quickly put my hand on his arm, stopping him.  
  
"Don't." I said looking into his eyes as he turned around to look at me.  
  
"Let me go."  
  
"No, they're together. Don't make a scene, don't ruin the party. Not this time. Please." I said and finally I felt his tensed body relax slightly, so I loosened my grip. He shook me off and went over to the bar.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I finished another bottle of soju and finally turned around. I felt slightly dizzy, but I liked it. I suddenly felt great. I looked over at hyung and decided to go, talk to him. He got up and started walking to the restroom. So, I made my way to him. His back was facing me, as he leaned against the wall, before he reached the restroom. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, from the back.  
  
"I'm sorry hyung." I whispered into his ear.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He startled me. God, why? Why me? Why is he doing this to me? It's all my fault, I let myself fall for him and now I can only get more and more hurt. Now, that his arms are around me, his hot breath on my ear and his scent floating above me, capturing my senses I could only let my heart beat like crazy. I didn't dare to move for a moment, but then I snapped out of it and looked over at him.  
  
"You're drunk Yunho."  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at him and smiled. He looked so... tasty. I wonder...  
  
"I'm not drunk hyung." I said sheepishly and gave him a big smile. "And I... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for everything."  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
What is he talking about? He doesn't know anything, he can't know. What is he sorry about then? He can't possibly know that I'm hurt because he's with Min Sun.  
  
I looked at him weirdly. I looked into his eyes. Maybe it was safe to look at him now. He was drunk and well, we were somewhat surrounded with darkness. He won't be able to read my expression properly, right?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I'm not drunk. At least not enough to not know what I'm doing. He looked into my eyes and I felt such happiness all of a sudden. How long have I been waiting for him to actually look at me. But... he's in pain. He still is in pain. God, what happened to him? Is it my fault? It must be, Jae talking about me hurting people and all. I don't know what I did, why do I have to be so confused these days? I don't know anything that's going on around me lately. Heck, I don't even know what's going on inside me.  
  
"I'm sorry." I repeated. He still looked confused. "I'm fighting with Jae and I don't see you anymore because of it. And it makes me feel awful, I don't want to feel awful hyung." I said frowning. I actually felt like crying now. But I can't cry here, not in front of everybody.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Oh god. How can I not do anything now? He looks like a little boy that used to come to me whenever he needed help, whenever he needed someone to listen. I turned around to him and hugged him. It hurts me, because I know that the moment we pull apart and he goes to Min Sun, I know that I'll end up even more hurt. But I had to hold him.  
  
"I'm sorry..." he whispered again. "I miss you so much." I swallowed and bit my lips slightly. Why is he doing this to me? This is too hard, too much for me to handle.  
  
"You have me Yunho. Come on, it's nothing, it's just a small fight between you and Jae." I said finally, trying to cheer him up, trying to sound cheerful myself. But it was too hard, I said it quickly and decided to shut up again.  
  
I wanted to pull apart, but he didn't let me, he held onto me so hard, I couldn't even move.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Whenever I hugged hyung it did something to me. This time was no different and I wanted to stay like this forever. It just felt so right. His arms gave me comfort and love. It was brotherly love, I knew it, I didn't expect anything more anyway. Besides, I'm not gay... right? But if I'm not... then why do I want something that straight guys shouldn't even think about?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
He slightly moved away from me and I felt a bit relieved, thinking that moment was over. But then he just had to startle me again. Well, more like shock me. I felt blood rush into my head as he traced kisses along my cheek. I couldn't react, I didn't know how to react. I didn't dare to move.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho..." I heard him moan and shivered. I wrapped my arms around him once again and continued to kiss him. Suddenly he pushed me away.  
  
"You're drunk." He said looking at me. "You don't know what you're doing. You... it's me, Yunho, your hyung." He said as if I didn't know that. Yes, you're my hyung and yes, I want to kiss you. God, what is going on with me?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I can't take it. I didn't want to stop him, but who knows where it could lead us. I don't want to. I don't want him if he doesn't want me and I know he doesn't. He's straight and at the moment, drunk. I bet he's not even aware of what he's doing. He would just hate me afterwards and I would get more hurt. I can't stop giving myself pain, but at least I can stop him.  
  
He looked at me, somewhat sadly. Why is he sad now? I just saved his butt from making a mistake. Suddenly he leaned in and I freaked out a bit, immediately taking a step back. He of course, didn't let me. Well, I should know by now that Yunho is not a person who gives up that easily. However, he just put his hand on the back of my head and looked in my eyes again.  
  
"Thank you..." he whispered in my ear. "... for loving me."  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched Yoochun moving over to the bar and smirked again. That's what you get for wanting to break me and Changmin apart idiot. I felt great all of the sudden. The night was just getting better.  
  
I smiled to myself again, but then noticed Junsu. He was looking at me. What is his problem now? I mean, he looked so sad, I haven't seen him sad in years. Well, probably because we weren't friends anymore, so I didn't exactly know what was going on in his life. It was just weird to see him like that, he was always a cheerful, bubbly kid. With that sweet smile plastered over his face all the time. It used to annoy me so much. Now I don't mind it. Actually, at this very moment, I kind of miss it. I mean, him being sad... what could possibly happen to him? And why is he staring at me so intently, it kind of... intimidates me.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I lowered my eyes, looking away. I don't need this. I'm sick of this. My impossible, childish love. Grow up Junsu, will you?  
  
I walked over to the bar, taking a seat and a bottle of soju. Good thing I made food for tomorrow. Because this is gonna be a long night.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched Jae going to the restroom and then quickly walked over to Yoochun.  
  
"Hey." I said looking at him. He really looked hot tonight, I had to stop myself from staring. Quickly.  
  
"Hey." He replied and took a sip of his drink, then poured more into his glass. Unlike the others he wasn't drinking soju. It surprised me a bit, but then again, Yoochun is not like the other people. That much I learned living with him.  
  
"Sorry... for seeing me and Jae..." I trailed off. For some reason I felt like I had to apologize.  
  
"Why? You guys are together." He said simply.  
  
"Yeah, but, I know it must be difficult for you to see." I said.  
  
"Why would it be?"  
  
"Well... because of the rivalry and I'm living with you guys and all..."  
  
"Well, you're wrong. I'm over it." He replied coldly.  
  
"Oh okay." I said frowning. Why did it hurt? Why did I want him to care? I wanted it so much. I sat down next to him. "So, are you having fun?" I asked as I smiled a bit.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Oh yeah, I'm having so much fun Changmin. I'm enjoying myself, can't you notice?  
  
"Yeah." It's so easy lying to you, innocent Min. "You?" why am I even asking? Isn't it obvious?  
  
"Yeah." He replied. I looked at him. He didn't exactly look like he was having fun. Probably because he's spending his precious time with me, instead of being with his boyfriend. Well, I didn't ask him to come.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
He's so cold. Nothing like Yoochun I know, Yoochun I talk to and have fun with when no one else is around. He put on his mask again. Is he trying to push me away? Am I bothering him now? Maybe I should just go.  
  
"Where is your boyfriend?" he asked suddenly. Those words and the way he let them out were stabbing me. I felt bitterness coming from him. Is he despising me now?  
  
"He went to the restroom." I replied. I didn't care anymore. If he wants to act that way, then fine.  
  
"I see." He smirked.  
  
"What Yoochun? What do you see?" I asked getting mad. "If you're thinking I'm here just because he's not around or he mustn't see me talking to you then you're wrong."  
  
"I didn't say that." He replied calmly, looking at me.  
  
"But you meant it." I said looking back at him. "I don't care... it's your problem again. Just don't pretend in front of me."  
  
"Why do you think I care?" Yoochun replied, as a look of annoyance appeared on his face. "What makes you think you're so special?" I opened my mouth, but couldn't find the words. That hurt more then anything. I'm nothing to you Yoochun. Just a person who lives in your house and goes out with your rival. Is that it?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hi." I said quietly. I didn't think he would hear me, but he obviously did. It didn't surprise me for some reason, it was just him.  
  
"Hi." He replied and drank.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Trying to get drunk."  
  
"JaeJoong?"  
  
"Who else." He smirked and glanced at me. "What happened to you?" he asked suddenly, widening his eyes. I must've looked weird. Well, no wonder, after everything that happened tonight, I'm surprised I could still talk and think properly. Okay, scratch that, I couldn't think properly. My mind was racing and I couldn't focus properly. He did it to me again.  
  
"Nothing. Now is not time or place to talk about it." I replied and he nodded. Understanding as always.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I went out of the restroom and scanned the place. Yunho was dancing, I decided not to pay attention to him. I had enough of him for tonight. I couldn't deal with it right now and I didn't want to spoil my good mood.  
  
But then something else did.


	24. Chapter 24

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
JunKi and Junsu talking? How can my brother talk to a Park? I stared at them for a moment, already preparing to go over there. I glanced away for a moment, but then something else caught my attention, causing me to forget about hyung and Junsu.  
  
Changmin and Yoochun. They were on the other end of the room, drinking and talking. I couldn't exactly read their facial expressions, but I could tell Changmin wasn't in the best mood. Before I could think about it, I headed over to them.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt somebody's arms around my shoulders and I instantly knew who it was.  
  
"Why, Park Yoochun... long time no see." JaeJoong said with a smirk on his face. I didn't like the way he said it, but I decided to keep quiet. Yoochun didn't even bother to look at him. He just nodded and drank more. I had the feeling drink got to him slightly, but he didn't look like he was in the mood for fighting with Jae. I was relieved.  
  
"Well, I would stay and chat, but I have something to discuss with Min." JaeJoong continued sarcastically and I looked at him raising my eyebrow. I knew he couldn’t stand Yoochun, but was it really necessary to talk to him like that? Yoochun smirked slightly, still not paying attention to us. "Min?" Jae called me. What does he want to talk about anyway?  
  
I quietly stood up and followed Jae outside.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sighed as they walked away from me. It's better that way anyway.  
  
I took another sip of my drink and just then a girl decided to approach me.  
  
"Oppa... wanna dance?" she asked. I looked at her.  
  
"No. I'm not in the mood."  
  
"Oh come on..." she began to whine. God, I hated when girls did that. How come they still didn't get the message that I'm not interested? I mean I haven't had a girlfriend in two years.  
  
"No... seriously, why don't you just leave me alone?"  
  
"Oppa..." there she goes again.  
  
"Look..." I said turning around finally and looking at her. "I'm gay. Okay? Now please, be nice and spread the word. Maybe that way people will leave me alone." I said. I didn't mean to sound rude, I never was the one to act like a jerk around girls. But I was sick of it. I was sick of everything.  
  
She stared at me unbelievingly.  
  
"You're gay? What's with all the uhljjangs suddenly turning into gays?" she said rolling her eyes. "First JaeJoong, then Changmin, then you... who's next?"  
  
"Don't mention that jerk's name in front of me." I scoffed and turned my back to her again. "And leave me alone." I added again and she finally stomped her foot and walked away. I smiled. It was about time.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I have to talk to you Junsu." I said. "Tomorrow?"  
  
"No. I don't think I'll be able to stand up, let alone go out of the house tomorrow." He chuckled. "Monday?"  
  
"Okay, sure." I nodded and drank more as well. Well, who would've tell? Us getting drunk? It was so ironic actually. Best friends with similar problems. Really, like it wasn't enough that Junsu was the one hopelessly in love. Now I had to join him. And here we were, having to watch the guys we love in the arms of other people. Great. Just great.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I had no idea JaeJoong's gay." Min Sun said somewhat excitedly. We finally stopped dancing. I wasn't really in the mood for it in the first place, but after what happened with JunKi I had to keep my mind off of it and dancing has always been the best way for me to forget about my problems and, in this case, confusing thoughts and mixed feelings. Not that it helped.  
  
"Well, yeah, he is. And that guy you saw him with is his boyfriend, Changmin." I replied casually. I didn't want to talk about JaeJoong. Actually, I didn't want to talk about anything.  
  
"Wait till I tell Yuri." She continued and I shot her a glare.  
  
"Why would you tell her?" I asked gloomily.  
  
"Because she's my best friend. And JaeJoong's ex. Oh man, I have to tease her now." She laughed. "I mean, her ex turned into gay. What's better then that?"  
  
I felt sick all of the sudden. God, how can she say that?  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah, he's gay, so what? That has nothing to do with Yuri, it's not her business. And it certainly is not yours." I snapped.  
  
"God, Yunho, chill. What is your problem? I was just joking." She said seriously and rolled her eyes. I shut up and looked away from her.  
  
"Nice way of joking you have Min Sun." I murmured sarcastically.  
  
  
Min Sun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I had no idea he would react like that. I wasn't even serious. Jae's life is his business, I didn't mean to butt in. I was just saying...  
  
Clearly, there is something bothering Yunho. I wonder... if Jae is gay, maybe JunKi is too. I mean, he kind of acts like one. I've been watching him tonight, he doesn't even pay attention to any of the girls that were around him and even hitting on him. I heard he's the kingka of Seoul High and he doesn't even act like one. Weird. And Yunho can't stop talking about him. Hyung this, hyung that. Sometimes he just acts... suspicious.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood up. I had enough for tonight. I don't know why I even came to this party. It just made me feel more sh.itty then I already was. Knowing that Changmin and JaeJoong are together was one thing, actually seeing them was something completely different.  
  
Looking around I spotted Junsu and next to him was JunKi. I never really had anything against the guy, but the fact that he was JaeJoong's brother was enough to pi$$ me off. However they didn't look like they were talking. More like drinking together. Oh well, maybe Junsu was just already too drunk to think what he's doing.  
  
Slowly, I walked up to them. I shot a short glare at JunKi, but he looked like he didn't notice it. He even smiled. That surprised me, but I decided not to pay attention. Actually, at that moment, I suddenly felt bad because of the rivalry. JunKi has always been so different from JaeJoong, he was always super nice to all of us. Like an older brother. But now it wasn't important. We were practically strangers.  
  
"Junsu, I'm going home." I said looking at my brother.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked, concern in his voice. Sounds just like my little dongsaeng. He was pretty drunk already, I could see that. But he was still worried about me. It was funny how he always acted like my hyung. He was more mature then me and he always took care of me. When it was supposed to be the other way around.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just have a small headache and I need to get some sleep." I said shrugging. "You'll be okay, right?" I asked back. "I mean, you drank pretty much already."  
  
"Yeah, don't worry... oh and tomorrow, don't expect me to get up early." He said. "Food is in the fridge, you won't starve." He added rolling his eyes and I had to chuckle.  
  
"I know bro. Thanks." I said and gave him a small hug. He was always there for me. He never failed me. I knew I could count on him no matter what. At least that thought was comforting at the moment like this.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Why were you talking to him?" I asked. I was trying to sound calm, but it annoyed me so much.  
  
"What? Am I not allowed to?" he replied and smirked.  
  
"I don't want you to talk to him. It's bad enough that you have to live with him."  
  
"Jae, you can't tell me what to do. Us being a couple doesn't give you that right." He said calmly. "And I don't have to live with him, I choose to."  
  
I widened my eyes slightly. It was the first time he actually said he wanted to live with Parks. What is that suppose to mean? So, he is choosing them afterall.  
  
"Oh, is that so?"  
  
"Yeah. And don't start talking about sides, because you know I don't believe in them. There is no sides and I'm not choosing anyone." He said. "God, you're acting like a jealous boyfriend. There is nothing to be jealous of."  
  
Somehow he didn’t sound convincing. What the hell was with that? I mean, I never doubted him, I only doubted Yoochun. I knew he had a thing for Changmin, it was so obvious. But now, Min didn't sound like he meant it. He actually made me doubt more.  
  
"Obviously there is, since you always defend that Park idiot when I'm supposed to be your boyfriend." I was extremely irritated by now.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"God, you're so possessive." I replied. Somehow this fight didn't bother me. It was just... annoying. "I don't defend him, he just doesn't give me sh.it like you do. What now? You don't trust me? You never did, from the start. It was always Park brothers this, Park brothers that. I can't even talk to them? And to think that I thought I had trust issues." I said.  
  
"Changmin, you don't even know what you're talking about." He said shaking his head, which only made me more annoyed.  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Yeah. What do you think makes me feel like knowing that you're living with that... that... pervert?"  
  
I actually laughed at that.  
  
"Pervert? Which one? Yoochun or Junsu?" I asked. This was ridiculous. And at this moment I wanted to annoy him, just like he annoyed me.  
  
"Stop playing dumb, it's irritating."  
  
"Then I succeeded in annoying you." I replied. Why did I want to hurt him now?  
  
"You're an idiot, I can't believe how blind you are. Can't you see that..." he trailed off.  
  
"What? What is that that this idiotic boyfriend of yours can't see?" I asked back, already getting really angry.  
  
"I don't want you to live there. That Park idiot is corrupting you. He just wants you for himself, he's toying with you. Look what he did to you, you keep fighting with me..." he practically yelled.  
  
"JaeJoong!" I yelled back. "Will you stop with that cr.ap? You think I can't think with my own head? That I need someone else to open my eyes? You're just... pathetic... I had no idea that you're so weak. You know what... he truly is better then you. At least he has some dignity. He would never step that low. All this time you were trying to make him jealous, to get to him. To hurt him. It's part of the rivalry and sadly, I became a part of it. How could I not see that? And to think that we're fighting because of him... Seriously, grow up..." I let it all out. I knew I was right. I wasn't sure about some stuff concerning Yoochun. He was still a riddle to me. But I realized... that I would rather be with him, even just as friends... then with JaeJoong.  
  
He stared at me, obviously hurt by everything I said. I might have gone too far and it hurt me now too. But I couldn't back away now. So, I just turned and left.


	25. Chapter 25

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up with a terrible headache. I didn't care though, I needed to get drunk last night and that's exactly what I did. Anything to keep my mind off the things that happened. Yunho wasn't aware of what he was doing anyway, so I should forget about it.  
  
But that last thing he said. It just made me wonder. He knows what I'm feeling towards him? He knows. That thought is killing me. I know he was just trying to make me feel better, even if just for that one night. He was drunk and he wasn't thinking and he felt sorry for me. I'm just a stupid hyung who fell in love with him, so let's give him what he wants just for tonight. Right Yunho? That's what you were thinking when you tried to kiss me. You can't return my feelings, but you can give me what I want for that one night. Well, I'm not gonna accept your pity. There is a little bit of dignity left in me.  
  
Just when I started making a coffee and decided to push those thoughts away from my mind Jae came into the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning." I said and he nodded as he sat down.  
  
"You look like you need a coffee." I chuckled, just glancing at him. He didn't say a thing and soon I joined him, putting a cup of coffee in front of him.  
  
I finally looked at him and instantly frowned. He didn't look good.  
  
"What happened to you?" I asked, reminding myself of Junsu last night.  
  
"I had another fight with Changmin." He replied casually and drank a bit of his coffee, but quickly put it away, since it was still hot. "A serious one." I waited for him to continue. "JunKi, it's just too hard. I actually think we won't make up after this."  
  
"It was that serious?" I asked surprised. They fought all the time, but I didn't think they'll break up. At least not this soon. It's been what? A little more then a month maybe?  
  
"Yeah, we said some harsh words to each other. And well... I know he's right. But I just hate Yoochun so much. I can't stand seeing them together." He said anger appearing in his voice. "And I know Changmin cares about him, it's so obvious. He lives with him, talks to him. I think they're closer then Changmin wants to admit... and the worst thing is that I tried to make Yoochun jealous."  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked confused. Was there something between Yoochun and Changmin? Something more then friendship?  
  
"Yoochun is in love with Changmin." Jae replied. "And I think Min is not indifferent to him either."  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up next to Min Sun. I glanced at her, but all I could think of was what happened last night. All I could think of was hyung, him hugging me, his soft skin brushing against mine. How I wanted to be with him now. How I wanted him to be here, sharing a bed with me, instead of Min Sun.  
  
I have to push those thoughts away. I'm afraid... I'm turning gay, I can feel it. But that can't happen. I had the feeling that JunKi has some feelings for me. Other then just brotherly feelings. But I guess I was wrong. He pushed me last night, he didn't want me to kiss him. And when I thanked him for loving me he looked at me weirdly, like I was crazy. By that time I knew he only loved me as a dongsaeng and that's what I meant, but I bet he misunderstood me and freaked out. He practically ran away from me. It hurt. It still hurts. But I'm trying to forget about it.  
  
I have Min Sun. She'll help me forget about it. I mustn't spend time with hyung. I must avoid him as much as I can. This fight with JaeJoong... is actually a good thing. Since I don't have a reason to go to their house now. I should just spend more and more time with Min Sun.  
  
Pulling her into my arms I drifted back to sleep.  
  
  
Min Sun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt his strong arms wrap around my body and I scooted over to him, putting my arms around his waist and making myself more comfortable. I could feel something was wrong, but I also knew he wouldn't want to talk about it. I had a feeling it had something to do with JunKi, but I didn’t dare to ask.  
  
"Min Sun..." I heard him whisper. I looked up at him, but he wasn't awake. I smiled thinking how he dreamt about me. But his next words surprised me. "Min Sun... help me... please... I want to forget him. Please... Min Sun..." he murmured. I felt my heart sink, but scooted closer to him. He wanted me to help him forget who? JunKi? I sighed. I'll do it Yunho... it hurts, but I'll do anything to help you.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Stupid party. Why did I have to go anyway? I sighed as I turned to my other side, wanting to sleep more, but not being able to. I haven't gotten much sleep. All I could think about was Changmin and even my dreams were full of him. The sad part was they were also full of JaeJoong. He was always there, making out with Changmin and then giving me that nasty smirk of his. I would wake up even more furious then before. The bastard was mocking me even in my dreams.  
  
Finally, I got up and went to the bathroom, hoping that the shower will help me clear my mind. After that I went out of my room and knocked on Junsu's. Since he didn't reply I peeked in and found him asleep on his bed. Well, I guess he did have a long night. A drunken night. I smiled at the image of him. He was such a baby, a sweet baby, peacefully sleeping like that. I was about to walk out of his room when something caught my attention. I glanced to look at him one more time and noticed... a tear rolling down his cheek. I came closer and I was right. Junsu was crying in his sleep.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Even food didn't taste good today. I was literally making myself eat. And it was making me feel sick. Or was it something else? I felt awful, guilty, even dirty. I was angry at both myself and JaeJoong. Actually, I began to think that he was right and it made me feel like I've been cheating on him with Yoochun. On the other hand, his words and more important actions hurt me. I was mad at him because of that, he was half-using me to annoy Yoochun more, I became his toy in this stupid rivalry. I knew he must have cared about me, but even if he didn't use me I would still be mad. He was so possessive and so jealous that I couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Hi." Yoochun greeted me quietly as he entered the kitchen.  
  
"Hi." I replied. I wasn't in the mood. He was a jerk too. He didn't care about me a bit. I was wrong and I let myself like him. Whenever he was around I could feel myself tense. That actually annoyed me more then anything. I was nobody to him and he should be nobody to me. But somehow, I couldn't stop caring.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sat down silently and started eating. I would glance at him from time to time, but I didn't dare to speak. Actually, this situation reminded me of the first time we met. But back then I had other things on my mind. Back then he was just an innocent nerdish hottie who came to live with us. Back then I had to fight the urge to jump him, and now I had to fight the urge to... jump him? No, beside that... I had to keep myself from asking about JaeJoong. I don't know why I always had to do it. To wonder, to ask, to torture myself.  
  
He didn't look good. I guess he didn't get much sleep and he looked like something was worrying him. He didn't say a word, but I couldn't blame him, not after last night. I was harsh and tried to act indifferent. He didn't even want to look at me. Why should he care? I'm just a Park bastard according to his boyfriend. He should listen to him.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
The awkward atmosphere hit me the moment I stepped into the kitchen. I looked from Changmin to Yoochun and raised my eyebrow. Silently I took a plate and sat down.  
  
"What's up with you two?" I asked as they didn't even look at me.  
  
"Nothing." They said in unison and then exchanged glances. I raised my eyebrow again, but started eating.  
  
"I'm full." Changmin suddenly said. "Junsu, can you please come to my room when you're done?" I nodded and he quickly exited the kitchen. I glanced at his plate? He barely touched his food. Something was seriously wrong.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Come in." I said as Junsu knocked on the door and peeked in. He walked in and sat down on my bed, waiting for me to say something. "I have to talk to someone and Yoochun and I had a fight, so I can't turn to him." I explained.  
  
"What happened?" he asked.  
  
"With Yoochun and me? Nothing much... he doesn't care about me anyway, so it's not important." I replied and shrugged.  
  
"And you'd want him to care?" He asked smiling a bit. I looked at him. Was I that obvious?  
  
"No, I don't care either. I mean, why should I?" I said trying to sound like I didn't care.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
It was obvious he did care. I smiled again. So, Yoochun found a way to sneak into Min's heart.  
  
"I didn't want to talk to you about that." He said and sighed. I titled my head a bit still looking at him and waiting for him to explain it. "I had another fight with JaeJoong." I raised my eyebrows. Another fight? Those two... they really didn't get along.  
  
"We said some things we were never supposed to say and now I don't think we'll be able to make up." Changmin continued. Oh, wow, that really was serious. "I don't think I want to make up after everything."  
  
"Changmin... I don't think you should rush things like that." I said. "I mean, I'm sure you'll sort things out."  
  
"No, we can't. Not after last night." He said quickly. "I realized he's been using me to get to Yoochun. He wanted to hurt him that bad. And he's jealous and possessive and... and I can't be with someone like that." He said getting angry.  
  
"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that." I said softly, trying to make him feel better. There I was again, trying to push Changmin into JaeJoong's arms again. I'll never change. No matter how much it hurts me.  
  
"Why do you have to defend him? He's been acting like a jerk." Changmin suddenly said.  
  
"Maybe... but it's not like he's not right either." I said. "I mean, you live with us, you're spending a lot of time with Yoochun. You talked to him last night. JaeJoong has every right to be jealous."  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
What the... how can he say that? I looked at him widening my eyes.  
  
"He's not right. There is nothing going on between me and Yoochun and he knows it." I practically yelled. I didn't mean to fight with Junsu now, but he was pi$$ing me off. "Besides, it's ironic how he thinks Yoochun cares about me when it's so obvious he doesn’t."  
  
"Come on, you don't believe that yourself." Junsu said smirking. "Yoochun and you... of course JaeJoong is jealous. And you shouldn't have treated him like that. He didn't deserve it. You should have assure him nothing is going on between you and Yoochun. And instead you just got angry at him and didn't even listen to him. JaeJoong didn't deserve that." He said.  
  
"God Junsu... how can you say that? How can you?" I said shaking my head and looking at him.  
  
"I can. It's the truth. JaeJoong is an amazing person and he cares so much about you. Can't you see that? He's holding onto you, he's afraid to lose you... I wish..." he suddenly shut up and looked away. I looked at him. What does he wish for? But before I had a chance to ask he regained his composure and looked at me again. "If you let him go... it won't be difficult for him to find someone else. Someone who'll understand him and truly care about him and his opinion." He said.  
  
"Someone like you?" I asked raising my eyebrows.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at him. How? How could I let Changmin see right through me.  
  
"What are you talking about?" I stuttered looking at him.  
  
"It's obvious Junsu. You're the one who's in love with him, not me." He replied smirking.  
  
"That's nonsense." I tried to laugh. Tried, not succeeded.  
  
"Yeah, sure..." he nodded. I sighed and looked down. We stayed silent for a couple of moments.  
  
"I should go." I finally said and stood up. Changmin nodded. I walked up to the door, but he stopped me.  
  
"You're right Junsu. He should be happy." He said and I looked back, to find him smiling. I gave him a small smile and walked out.  
  
What have I done again?


	26. Chapter 26

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
He should be happy. But not with me.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"That's it." I finished putting my head into my hands as I sat down.  
  
"Wow..." Junsu said finally. He hasn't spoken since we met and it was slightly weird, but I guess he let me do all the talking.  
  
"Yeah." I replied.  
  
"So... he likes you afterall?" Junsu said and smiled as he looked at me. I shook my head.  
  
"Come on Junsu, it can't be... he knows that I'm in love with him and he just... I don't know, maybe he felt bad suddenly... for not being able to respond to my feelings. I mean, Yunho gay? That's not gonna happen. I guess it sounded like a good idea to him at the moment. To make me happy even just for that night. But I'm not that stupid. I don't want his pity."  
  
"But how do you know he knows about your feelings?" he asked thinking about it.  
  
"I told you what he told me in the end."  
  
"Yeah, but it doesn't have to be 'loving' like 'be in love'. Maybe he was talking about you loving him as a brother. You have always been protective towards him. Towards all of us." Junsu said. I haven't thought about it. It gave me hope. Maybe he truly doesn't know about my feelings. Although the way he said it, it was weird, it sounded like he knew.  
  
"And if he doesn't know about you being in love with him, then maybe he truly wanted to kiss you. Maybe he has some feelings towards you." Junsu concluded.  
  
"You know that sounds unbelievable." I replied chuckling a bit. It was actually a bit funny.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded sighing. "Yunho is just not... gay... but hey, that was just a thought." Junsu said smiling and patted my back.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt bad for JunKi. I had no idea what happened on the party. No wonder he looked like that and didn't want to talk about it. I sighed and silence floated above us as we looked around. I bet this deserted park hasn't seen anyone else but us in ages.  
  
"So... do you know what happened between Jae and Min?" JunKi asked suddenly. I nodded.  
  
"Yeah... usual stuff. Yoochun appearing, Jae getting jealous, Min spilling it all to him..." I said shrugging. We kind of got used to it by now.  
  
"Oh... I see." JunKi replied. "But I guess it's different this time. Jae said he thinks they might not make up this time."  
  
"Yeah? That's what Min said as well... and I kind of started fighting with him." I continued the story looking down. I felt bad for it. Especially since Changmin discovered my forbidden love in the end of our bitter conversation.  
  
"You did?" JunKi asked looking at me. He looked shocked. I wasn't surprised. I rarely fought with anyone. Except Yoochun. But even that didn't occur quite often.  
  
"Yeah. I started defending JaeJoong." I nodded.  
  
"God, you're too good Junsu." He said shaking his head. "I don't know how my brother can't see it."  
  
"How can I be good hyung?" I said. "If I were good I wouldn't let Changmin see right through me. I would let him realize that I'm in love with Jae."  
  
"Junsu... he knows?" JunKi was shocked again. I simply nodded. "What is he gonna do now?"  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You wanted to talk to me." I said quietly as I stood in front of Changmin.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded. "Listen Jae... this is not gonna work."  
  
"What? Why are you saying that?" I said. I didn't want to lose him. Deep down I knew it's not going to work, but I couldn't deal with it. Not yet. I didn't want him to break up with me. I couldn't just let go of him like that.  
  
"It's obvious, isn't it? It just doesn't work. I mean, from the beginning our relationship has been... rocky." He said looking at me. I looked down.  
  
"But... I really care about you. And I know you care about me too. Can't we just try?" I said, looking up again.  
  
"Why Jae? It's just gonna become harder. I mean, I had to go over a lot of things in attempt to stay with you and I know you had too. You wanted to change things that make me and I wanted to change you as well. It's just not good." He said.  
  
"Min..." I started not knowing what to say to that. It was true.  
  
"From the beginning... we've been fighting more then we actually got along. It has never been good. We had great moments, really. But still... it's better if we end it now." He sighed.  
  
"So you can go to Yoochun?" I asked. I was... I don't know. Angry? Hurt? Desperate?  
  
"Jae..." he shot me a look. "You know it's not the reason I'm breaking up with you." There were those words - breaking up with me. "But at some point... I might go to Yoochun." He added.  
  
"At least you're honest." I smirked and shook my head. I couldn't believe he said it to me.  
  
"I'm sorry Jae." He said quietly. "You'll find someone who'll make you happy." Those words are so cliché Min, don't you know that? "I mean it."  
  
"Yeah... thanks. I guess." I said rolling my eyes a bit. He smiled slightly.  
  
"Actually... I bet there is someone already. Waiting for you." He added. I looked at him weirdly, raising my eyebrow. What was that suppose to mean? But he didn't say anything else. He walked away. Again. I knew it was the last time I see him walk away from me like this. We weren't together anymore.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt good. I knew I did the right thing. Something inside me hurts. I really cared about Jae. I still do. But this was for the better. I had to end it, once and for all. I didn't want to mention Junsu. I have the feeling JaeJoong will find him on his own. Or at least I hope so.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched her sleep. She looked peaceful, like she has no worries whatsoever. So unlike me. I couldn't stop thinking about hyung. It was ironic, but the more I tried not to think about it the more I did. Like I couldn't let myself forget about him. It's been three days since the party. Three days since I saw him last time. And here I was, thinking about him more then ever. Why are you haunting me JunKi?  
  
I want to fight. I'm practically living with Min Sun now. I'm with her all the time. She seems happier then ever, with me constantly around her. I'm trying to forget him by paying so much more attention to her, but somehow my mind always drifts off and I end up getting mad at myself. What the hell is wrong with me?  
  
I never thought I'll become gay. Or bisexual. It was always something that seemed so far from me. When Jae turned gay I was shocked, but when I thought about it, it didn't surprise me much. I mean he had one girlfriend who hurt him so bad and after that he never wanted to do anything with girls. First I thought it was because he couldn't get over Yuri. But when I discovered him being gay I changed my opinion. Maybe he just wasn't attracted to them.  
  
But me? I loved girls. I still do. I still find them so damn attractive, there are times when I can't stop staring at Min Sun. She thinks I'm a dork for doing so, but she enjoys it. Girls still turn me on.  
  
But now, there is hyung as well. He has been there for some time. I don't know how it happened. I just can't stay around JunKi for a long time and not want to look at him, touch him, feel him. It doesn't end there though. I want him to do that all to me as well, I want him to feel that too. But I know it's not possible.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Oh, you're home." I said coming out of the kitchen and smiling at Changmin.  
  
"Yeah." He nodded and walked into the living room. I followed.  
  
"How was your day?" I asked.  
  
"It was alright." He shrugged. "Your?"  
  
"Not bad." I said shrugging as well.  
  
"You know... I broke up with JaeJoong." He said looking at me.  
  
"You did?"  
  
"Yeah, why are you so surprised? I thought it was obvious I will. Especially after..."  
  
"You didn't tell him anything, did you?" I asked suddenly feeling alarmed.  
  
"Relax. I didn't." he said chuckling a bit.  
  
"And you didn't do it because... because of me?" I felt stupid for even asking something like that.  
  
"No, of course not." He said giving me an 'are you dumb?' look. "I told you all about it. We weren't suppose to be together in the first place." He said. Something was telling me that he wasn't exactly okay with it. I mean, he was pretending to be all cool and like nothing happened. But really... they've been together for quite some time, he must've felt hurt. Even just for a bit.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked.  
  
"I will be." He shrugged and gave me a smile. He was honest, that's what I liked about him the most. Actually, that was probably just proving his innocence. He was always acting mature, but deep down he was still an innocent, adorable nerd. "Don't worry about me."  
  
"Yeah, I don't think I'll have to." I said as I glanced at Yoochun who just entered the room.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Did something happen?" I asked looking at Junsu and Changmin.  
  
"Nothing." Changmin said and got up. "I'm gonna take a shower." He said not even looking at me and went to his room.  
  
"What's up with him?" I asked Junsu. He glared.  
  
"You should know. He's been like that since the party. And only when he's around you. You should do something about that, you know." He said.  
  
"Yeah? Why should I?" I asked back.  
  
"Because you obviously care about him. In more then a friendly way." Junsu replied carelessly and smirked. "And..."  
  
I didn't wait for him to finish. How could he possibly know that I cared about Changmin. I mean, I've been trying everything to push him away.  
  
"I don't care about him. Where did you get that? I mean, seriously..." I rolled my eyes. "He just pi$$es me off and fights with me. I gave up on him. He's not even that hot..." I started rambling as my cheeks turned into a deep shade of red.  
  
"Stop denying it Yoochun." He said rolling his eyes. He was unbelievingly calm. And it annoyed me so much. He always knew how to annoy me. "Just grow up, will you? You're such a baby. Why do I always have to play the role of older brother? Why do I always have to open your eyes and make you realize what's going on with you and around you? Don't you know it's so obvious? The way you look at him, talk to him, fight with him. Just the way you act around him. I bet the whole school already knows."  
  
"Even Changmin?" I asked suddenly.  
  
"No, you're lucky he's bigger baby then you. Naive innocent little nerd. He still is one." Junsu chuckled.  
  
"Still... that is not good enough reason for me to do something about our fight." I said remembering everything again. The truth was, I didn't know what to do to make things between us okay again.  
  
"Well, then, I wonder if him breaking up with JaeJoong will be a good enough reason for you to do as I told you." Junsu said finally.  
  
They broke up?


	27. Chapter 27

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I heard JaeJoong enter the house.  
  
"Jae?" I called and he appeared at the door, leaning against it slightly.  
  
"Hey." He replied looking at me.  
  
"What happened?" I asked concerned suddenly. He didn't look good and I could assume what it was all about, but I didn't want to jump into conclusions.  
  
"Changmin and I broke up." He replied shortly and went upstairs.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I slowly walked up to Changmin's bedroom. I didn't know what I wanted to say to him, how to make up, what exactly to do. I couldn't believe him and JaeJoong weren't together anymore. The thought made me smile. Seriously, I was happy. Somehow the fact that he was mad at me didn't bug me so much anymore, either.  
  
I stood in front of the door, hesitating for a moment. Suddenly the door opened.  
  
"Yoochun?" Changmin said raising his eyebrow at me slightly. He didn't look mad, just surprised.  
  
"Umm..." I started still not knowing what to say. I guess I hesitated for too long, I should've gone to my room instead of standing in front of his. He waited for me to continue, but I caught myself staring at his body, then finally looking back up at his face. "Have you been crying?" I asked noticing his red puffy eyes.  
  
"If you came here just to ask me that then you shouldn't have bothered." He replied bitterly and I swallowed as he moved to close the door. I quickly stopped him, pushing the door open, but he didn't even stop me, he just turned his back and got on his bed, sitting against the pillows.  
  
I silently walked into the room and closed the door behind me. I turned to him, but he didn't even look at me, so I walked up to him and sat down on his bed as well. He looked like he was trying to ignore me, at the same time fighting with his tears. I just watched him and he blinked a couple of times, but tears rolled down. He seemed mad, as he wiped them quickly and looked everywhere, but at me.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked after a couple of minutes.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't want him here now. He didn't care anyway, he didn't have to pretend. Not to mention that it made me feel like a total loser. I was crying and out of all people it was him who was watching me. I felt like his eyes were burning a hole in me, I felt uncomfortable, so I shifted a bit and tried to look everywhere but at him.  
  
"Junsu told me what happened." He said quietly. "Wanna talk about it?"  
  
"No." I replied shortly. "Why would you care anyway?"  
  
"Changmin..."  
  
"No, seriously, I don't get what you are doing here... I don't understand. I mean, really, I don't need your pity. I know you must be happy now that I broke up with Jae. But wait, you don't have a reason to be happy. You don't care." I rambled, raising my voice. "Oh, that's right... you care because it's connected to your stupid rivalry. Well, congratulations, you won, Yoochun." I finished. He was looking at me with wide eyes. I shot him a glare. "You could at least thank me for helping you." I said sarcastically as I started crying for real. I cried silently, but I couldn't stop my tears from coming out. I turned away from him, expecting for him to leave.  
  
"Changmin..." he started again. "Why are you crying?" God is he stupid? But then he shifted on my bed and got closer to me, pulling me into his arms. I tried to push him away, but he was stronger.  
  
"Are you stupid? What kind of question is that?" I snapped looking up at him. "I just broke up with my boyfriend." There was more to it, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I didn't care that much about me breaking up with Jae. More about me breaking up with him because of Yoochun. I mean, maybe I did a stupid thing. I was hoping and wanting something that couldn't happen. "Let go of me." I said finally.  
  
"Let me hold you." Yoochun replied looking back at me.  
  
"Why? I don't want your pity, I don't need it. I'm perfectly fine on my own." I snapped again, but then buried my head in his shoulder as I started sobbing. Damn me. I'm so weak, I'm such a baby, crying like that in front of him. And he just feels sorry for me. Why am I doing this?  
  
"Pity?" he asked looking down at me. "I don't pity you Min." he said softly. "Why are you crying so much? You know that you'll be better off without him anyway."  
  
"I... I don't think so... I mean, I don't know what to do without him now. I was the one who broke up with him. Because we've been fighting so much and it just didn't work... but what if I made a mistake?" I said in one breath. "And god..." I continued crying. I wasn't thinking what I was saying anymore, I just wanted to let it all out. "Why are you like this? I don't want you to pity me Yoochun. You don't care... stop pretending... please..." I practically begged as I pulled away from him and looked at him. He still had his arms around me, holding me still, and I felt a bit uncomfortable, being so close to him and knowing that I couldn't back away.  
  
"Why do you keep saying that? I don't pity you." He said, wiping my tears with his thumb, making me shiver. I moved my head away from his hand as I looked at him again.  
  
"Stop lying. You clearly said it, you don't care about me. I'm not special. You're right about that, I'm not. I don't know what Jae saw in me in the first place..." I trailed off. "You don't care Yoochun. So, stop. And don't you dare feel sorry for me, it just makes me feel worse."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Was this about him breaking up with JaeJoong or me not caring about him? I watched him saying it all and couldn't help but chuckle. He looked at me furiously, but I held onto him and hugged him.  
  
"You honestly thought I don't care about you?" I asked softly. Junsu was right, Changmin really was naive. "Why would I be here now? Why would I act like a jerk? Why would I spend time with you?" I asked.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I listened to him silently resting my head on his shoulder. I stopped crying. He cared? I felt both relief and excitement. Yeah, it was enough to make me happy again. I snuggled a bit closer to him and wiped my eyes not knowing what to say to that.  
  
"God Min... I do care... you have no idea..." he trailed off and sighed. "How could I not? You are special. You are..."  
  
I smiled against his neck and felt my heart skipping a beat again. Am I falling for him?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Maybe I said too much. It's good I stopped myself in time. I mean, I didn't want to tell him I loved him. I felt him move a bit closer to me and leaning his head against my neck. I shivered as I felt his warm body against me and noticed him stop crying.  
  
"You're not gonna say anything?" I asked a bit unsure. He shook his head wrapping his arms around me.  
  
"Thanks." He said and I looked down to see him smile.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the kitchen and started taking stuff out of the bags and putting them into the fridge. I sighed. I was so tired. I haven't been sleeping much these past couple of days, since I couldn't leave Jae alone and he's been crying and talking and just needed me. Well, actually, it was just that first night after his breakup with Changmin. After that I couldn't stop thinking about Yunho. Like always.  
  
I felt something move behind me.  
  
"Are you feeling better Jae?" I asked, but didn't get an answer, instead I felt him just coming closer to me. Or at least I thought it was him.  
  
"Hyung..." I heard Yunho's voice whisper as he leaned closer to my ear. I widened my eyes and froze for a moment, then turned around quickly. He was so close... too close. Looking right back at me.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I managed to say not daring to move.  
  
"You're not happy to see me?" he asked smirking. I didn't answer. "I heard about Jae and Changmin, so I came to see how he's doing."  
  
"You made up?" I asked as a small smile formed on my lips. Those were good news. They were best friends. He nodded flashing me a smile. I melted.  
  
"How are you hyung? Did you get any sleep at all?" he asked a look of concern appearing on his face as he frowned a bit examining my face. I must have looked like sh.it.  
  
Suddenly, he lifted his hand and caressed my cheek. I widened my eyes and stared at him. He's doing it again... he knows I love him and now... what is he trying to do?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I couldn't help myself. I can't control it and I hate myself for that. I just want to touch him over and over again. I stared back at him, examining his face feeling his smooth skin under my fingertips.  
  
"Yunho..." he whispered. He sounded just like that night. It made me want him more, but I couldn't do that. "What are you..." he asked as he saw me coming closer.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Just like that night. Oh god, he's not drunk now, is he?  
  
"Yunho?"  
  
  
Min Sun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched them. I can't believe he was doing that. JunKi looked shocked, but I knew he wanted it. By the way he was looking at Yunho... it was clear. But Yunho, he was the one to go to him, to start it all. I had to stop him, I was doing what he was asking me to do. Besides, it hurt me enough to see them like that.  
  
The moment I called him and stepped into the kitchen Yunho quickly took a step back, but didn't look away from JunKi. JunKi on the other hand looked at me and blushed deeply.  
  
"Hey Min Sun." He said and smiled.  
  
"Hi Junki." I replied smiling back. I had to pretend now. "We have to go Yunho."  
  
"Huh?" he snapped out of his thoughts. "Oh, yeah... we're going hyung." He said quickly. "See ya tomorrow."  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Oh god... if it wasn't for Min Sun... I should control myself. He doesn't want me... but why didn't he push me? He was too shocked to see me trying to kiss him again. Yeah, probably... god, if I don't do something about it I might lose my hyung. Me and my stupid behavior. My urges and that stupid, stupid... forbidden love.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I don't know... I'm afraid to spend time alone with him now." I said sighing and looked at my best friend.  
  
A couple of days passed since Yunho and Jae made up and now I've been seeing him all the time. It was pure torture, especially since he's been paying an extra attention to me. And all I did was ignoring him, avoiding his glances and talking to him as less as possible. Min Sun followed him everywhere he went and even her and Jae started talking again. I guess Jae missed Yunho too much to keep with that fight and since Yunho came to our house when Jae needed him the most it was ridiculous not to make up. They were best friends for god's sake. Me interfering was dumb in the first place. But Jae was known for a couple of not so good decisions.  
  
"I see..." Junsu nodded. "I don't know how to help you hyung. I'm not so sure he just thinks you love him and wants to give you what you want. I mean, it was possible when he was drunk... but now... it's a bit stupid. And Yunho is not stupid."  
  
"I know. But he just keeps confusing me..." I said. "Okay, change the subject, I don't want to talk about this anymore." I said waving my hand a bit. "How's Changmin?"  
  
"He's okay... he's been crying a bit, made up with Yoochun, started eating again. Seems like he's fine." Junsu shrugged and smiled.  
  
"And you say Yoochun likes him?" I asked raising my eyebrow. When did our lives become so interesting?  
  
"Yeah, well, it's obvious. Just watch him the next time he's around Changmin." Junsu replied. I could tell he's happy for his brother. Changmin still didn't show any sign of affection to him, but it was normal. Then again, Junsu and I couldn't possibly know everything that was going on between those two.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
JunKi disappeared after school again. I was curious where he was going whenever he leaves me after school, but I never asked. I hoped we had some food left since yesterday, because I really wasn't feeling like making some.  
  
I decided to take a walk home. I left car in front of the house anyway, the day was great and a walk sounded like a good idea.  
  
Park. We used to play in this park when we were children. Now it looked abandoned every time I passed by it. It looked like it died when our rivalry started. I smiled stopping and looking at it. But then I noticed someone standing in the middle of it, not so far away from me. Two guys. They talked and laughed, then hugged and finally parted. Younger guy waved to the other, before he turned away and walked in the different direction. The older watched him for a couple of moments, then shook his head slightly and turned around, with a smile on his face. I stood there not believing.  
  
Park Junsu and... hyung?


	28. Chapter 28

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you hungry?" Yoochun asked as we entered the house. "Or was it a stupid question?"  
  
"You know me." I laughed walking straight into the kitchen and sat down.  
  
"Yeah, when it comes to food I know you too well.” He nodded. "I mean, what's there to know? You eat anything and everything, all the time. Pretty simple."  
  
"You make me sound like a pig." I said pouting a bit. He walked up to me and leaned down.  
  
"Aww poor Changminnie... face it, you are a pig." He nodded and grinned.  
  
"Hyung!" I said widening my eyes and reaching for him to tickle him.  
  
"Stop!" he said, but I already got up and continued my little torture.  
  
"You deserved it." I said as he bent down trying to push my hands away from him. I laughed walking closer to him and he started walking backwards, but then slipped. Trying to stop himself from falling he grabbed me and we ended up on the floor together, me of course, on top of him. "How convenient." I commented laughing as I continued to tickle him, sitting up on him.  
  
"Stop!" he repeated laughing harder then ever.  
  
"Make me." I teased, but he grabbed my hands quickly. Damn me for stopping for a moment.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I grinned evily and raised my eyebrow slightly, then flipped us over, so I was on top of him.  
  
"What now?" I asked leaning closer to him, just to tease him. I could see his face reddening, so I smirked playfully. "Minnie, you're so beautiful blushing like that." I whispered looking into his eyes.  
  
"Stop teasing." He muttered looking away from me. He had almost painful expression on his face. I smirked.  
  
"Want me to actually do something?" I asked. I was obviously amused, but also turned on. Yes, pervert woke up in me.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I widened my eyes and quickly looked at him.  
  
"No." I replied simply. I wanted him to, but not like this. I mean, he was just teasing, he didn't mean it, he just wanted to provoke me, to see my reaction.  
  
"I thought so. You're so scared... Innocent baby Min." he said chuckling and shook his head as he pulled away from me again. I felt my blood boiling a bit.  
  
"I'm not scared." I said quickly flipping us over again landing on top of him.  
  
"Oh yeah? Please... you don't have to pretend." He mocked my own words. I glared at him.  
  
"I never pretend." I said simply. "Unlike some people."  
  
"Yeah, right..." he nodded sarcastically and grinned again.  
  
"So, you actually want me to do something?" I said smirking. You have no idea what I'm capable of Yoochun.  
  
"I don't want you to, I dare you to do something." He said his smile never leaving his face, but his tone suddenly getting serious. I smirked. So you wanna play... well, you asked for it.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I didn't expect him to do anything. Come on, this is little Min we're talking about, he's like... naive and innocent, no way he's gonna do something dirty or perverted... especially not with me. However just when I thought that he surprised me.  
  
He leaned closer and kissed me, shifting his position and straddling me. I was shocked and I haven't kissed him back for a couple of moments, but that didn't seem to have an effect on him, since he didn't back away a bit. He just continued kissing me, like he was so sure that eventually I'll kiss him back. And I did. Well, who could resist that.  
  
I felt one of his hands caressing my cheek and the other sliding down my chest, making me shiver and turned on even more. I was sure he could feel it, but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his back and moved one hand up, into his hair as I deepend the kiss.  
  
And just like it started, it ended. So suddenly. I didn't know what happened to me.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I pulled away and looked at Yoochun. I had to pull away, I knew if I don't I wouldn't be able to control myself anymore. It was bad enough I kissed him like that. That kiss definitely meant something. Not to mention that I have never experienced a kiss like that.  
  
I flashed him a smile, trying hard not to blush, but failing miserably.  
  
"I'm gonna..." I started but someone interrupted me.  
  
"Hey guys... oh god... Yoochun you know very well that your perverted little shows are not allowed in MY kitchen." Junsu said as we looked at him. I blushed deeply hearing his words and then glanced at Yoochun and the position we've been in.  
  
"I'm... I'm gonna take a shower." I said quickly getting up and exiting the kitchen.  
  
As soon as I entered the bathroom I inhaled and exhaled deeply and calmed down. Cold shower. Just what I need.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"It's not what it looked like." I said getting up as well.  
  
"Yeah, tell that to your little friend there." Junsu chuckled pointing to my pants.  
  
"Shut up." I muttered and walked out of the kitchen and upstairs, to my room, to my bathroom... Cold shower. Yeah.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked home slowly. After talking to Junsu I felt better, as always. The whole thing with Yunho still bothered me, but at least I wasn't that confused anymore. I don't believe he feels anything for me, but who knows, maybe Junsu is right. I can't even think about it, it would be too good to be true.  
  
I walked into the house silently and looked around. I didn't see Jae around, so I assumed he still didn't come home. Shrugging, I walked into the kitchen and took a glass of water.  
  
"Hi hyung." I jumped slightly and put the glass down, then turned around.  
  
"God, Jae, you scared me." I said and chuckled a bit. "I didn't know you were home already."  
  
"Already?" he asked raising his eyebrow. "It's almost 7." It was that late? I went to meet Junsu right after school, I didn't know that much time passed.  
  
"So where were you?" he asked waking me up from my thoughts.  
  
"Oh... just... around. You know..." I said shrugging.  
  
"No, I don't know." Jae said. He seemed mad for some reason, but I didn't know what was that all about. "I've been wondering where you're going when you disappear like that after school. It has been more and more often lately." He continued. I remained silent and turned around to start making dinner.  
  
"You know, I took a nice walk home today." He said. I just listened. "And I passed by that park... you know, that one where we used to play in when we were kids." I nodded. Where was this going? "It's usually empty these days, but today I actually saw someone there." I stopped what I was doing and listened to him more carefully now.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible.  
  
"Yeah. I saw Park Junsu." He said. "With you."  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked letting out a small laugh. Damn, are we busted?  
  
"I saw you hyung. It was you. And that is not the first time I saw you guys together." He continued. I finally turned around. "You were talking on that party. I saw you, but at the time I didn't think anything and I was caught up in my own problems with Changmin. But I see now that it wasn't just a coincidence." I watched him as he talked, but couldn't say a thing.  
  
"What the hell are you doing with a Park?" He finally raised his voice.  
  
"JaeJoong." I said calmly. "Calm down please. And forgot about the rivalry at least for a moment."  
  
"How can I? They're like... my enemies and you're spending time with one of them?" he yelled. I knew it was hard for him to keep it in for all this time, ever since I walked into the house. I was surprised he was able to be calm at all, I expected him to explode the moment he finds out. And I knew he was going to find out sooner or later.  
  
"Enemies? You do realize you're not ten anymore. That rivalry is stupid, everyone know that, that's why Changmin broke up with you too, remember?" I said. Okay, I knew I shouldn't have said that, but if I repeat it over and over again maybe he'll finally accept it.  
  
"Changmin also left me because he fell for Park Yoochun." He said narrowing his eyes. "You still haven't answered my question. What are you doing with Junsu? You're spending so much time together... I can't believe it... I can't believe I didn't notice before, I didn't ask before." He said shaking his head. Man, he really was mad. But at this point I was too.  
  
"Junsu is my best friend." I said finally. "There, I said it. He's been there for me through everything I went through these past couple of years and I was there for him as well. I'm his hyung, just like I'm yours and Yunho's." I said.  
  
"What? How can you say that?" he yelled. "While his brother was fighting with me and Yunho you've been sharing secrets with him? Best friend... yeah, right. Great, Junki, just great."  
  
"Stop it! You have no idea what you're talking about. Junsu has always been in a difficult position because of that silly fight. Just like I was. But it was much worse for him. He lost his best friend, he lost person he admired and all he could do was watch the relationship between people he loved the most get worse." I said. You're gonna hear me now Jae.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked. "He's a part of the whole thing as well."  
  
"How? Only because he's Yoochun's brother? That's really lame reason. He never fought with any of you. Actually, when it comes to Junsu, you should be thankful." I said bitterly. Jae was pi$$ing me off. Junsu has been in love with him for too long and my stupid brother can't even see it.  
  
"Why should I be thankful? Just because he wasn't beating me up? Please... like he's capable of it." JaeJoong laughed.  
  
"You forgot some things Jae. Like, how many times he saved your butt. How many times he stopped Yoochun from hurting you..." I started.  
  
"He didn't need to do that, no one asked him to. Besides, it's not like Yoochun would beat me up. That bit.ch is not capable of doing so." He smirked. I wanted to punch him. I was so angry, Junsu didn't deserve this. JaeJoong had to know everything.  
  
"There is a lot more to it. You have no idea what has been going on around you for such a long time." I said shaking my head.  
  
"I don't want to know, Park Junsu has never been my friend and he never will be. I just can't believe you've been friends with him behind my back. And for such a long time. Great brother, really..."  
  
"Shut up and listen to me. You have to hear this. You should feel nothing but love towards Junsu. Or at least gratitude." I said raising my voice, trying to stop him from talking.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What are you..." ... talking about? I was going to say, but he stopped me. I had no choice but to listen to him. I was so mad, I can't even describe it. Out of all people, my brother hanging out with a Park.  
  
"Remember all those times when you had fights with Yoochun? Well, whenever there was a fight Junsu would call me and we would meet just for him to give me bandages for you. He would just put it in my hand and walk away without a word." He started. I widened my eyes, not knowing what to say, but clearly it wasn't the end, since hyung continued.  
  
"We would meet and talk every week and he never failed to ask how you've been doing. He always tried to stop Yoochun, make him apologize to you and Yunho..." I nodded. I knew that. I mean, I didn't exactly know, but Junsu never fought and he would always pull Yoochun away from me, stop him somehow... well, whenever he was around. Which clearly wasn't enough.  
  
"When you broke up with Yuri he was really worried... he would call every single day, just to hear did you sleep well, did you eat well... he was bugging the hell out of me, but I understood him... Okay, at the moment I didn't, but now I do." He said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Junsu cared that much about me? But how couldn't I see that?  
  
"He never said a thing when you started dating Changmin. He talked to him, trying to stop him only because he knew Yoochun will start another fight. But when you stayed together no matter what he just dealt with it the best way possible. Smiling as always and keeping it inside. As always." Hyung finished. I sat down slowly. I never knew... I couldn't imagine.  
  
"Oh and remember that fight you had with Changmin when Yunho started dating MinSun? Changmin thought you liked Yunho and then he apologized when he found out it was all because of me." I nodded. How could I forget? "Well, it wasn't Changmin who told me about your fight, it was Junsu. He told me everything and said that I have to do something about it, I have to bring you guys back together..." he trailed off suddenly. "Anything, just as long as Jae is happy - that's what he said. Stupid Junsu... hurting himself all the time... as long as Jae is happy." He said more to himself as he shook his head and looked down.  
  
I didn't know what to think anymore. This was too much. Junsu caring about me that much... unbelievable. Then all the stuff started coming back to me. All the looks he's been giving to me. His smile, laugh... then that sad expression when he entered the party and saw me with Changmin. I noticed him drinking for the rest of the night, like he was trying to drown his sorrow or something. I didn't get that then, but now it all makes sense.  
  
I replayed my relationship with Min in my head, all the situations with Junsu and Yoochun around. Junsu stopping Yoochun every single time. And finally, the last thing Changmin said to me, the day we broke up. Someone waiting for me? Did he know? He looked so happy because of it, I thought it was just because he wanted me to feel better, but maybe he really knew. Was Changmin trying to open my eyes and push me to Junsu? Just like Junsu pushed me into Changmin's arms that time, after our fight. How could I not see it all?  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I shut up and watched JaeJoong. He was deep in his thoughts and I knew he was trying to accept everything I just said.  
  
"Junsu loves you Jae." I said quietly. It was obvious, but I wanted to say it out loud. I knew I was telling my best friend's secret, but if it was going to help him find his happiness, then it was worth it. "I've never seen a person more in love then him. It's been a long time now... a couple of years. I admire him for keeping it a secret for such a long time. He's hiding it well. I wish I could..." I said silently.  
  
"Because of Yunho?" Jae suddenly asked. It was weird how his tone changed. He was definitely not angry anymore, but his voice... I can't define what it sounded like. Curious? Calm? Determinate? And maybe even slightly excited. I nodded. "When you said you couldn't understand Junsu before and now you can... were you talking about your situation with Yunho?" he asked. I nodded again. "You're saying that it's the same situation?" he continued with questions.  
  
"Well, similar, yes." I said wondering where this was going.  
  
"Good answer." Jae said as a smirk slowly appeared on his face. "Because I'm not Yunho."


	29. Chapter 29

Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched Changmin and Yoochun teasing each other the whole time during lunch. Those two were like... made for each other. I laughed along with them, from time to time glancing at JunKi and JaeJoong. I was surprised to see Jae looking right back at me every time I looked, but he was probably watching Changmin anyway, so I decided not to pay attention and turned back to Yoochun.  
  
"I'm still hungry." Changmin whined and I laughed.  
  
"Here, I'm not gonna eat anymore." I said handing him my lunch. I barely touched it anyway, I wasn't quite feeling well. Stomach has been bugging me for a few days.  
  
"Junsu, are you sick?" Yoochun suddenly asked looking at the food I handed over to Changmin. "You haven't eaten anything since last night."  
  
"It's nothing, I think I just ate something I shouldn't have." I shrugged. I knew it wasn't just that though, I noticed JaeJoong watching me constantly for the past two weeks. I would always think it was Changmin he was looking at, but I wasn't so sure anymore. The more time passed the more I was convinced it was me who was the center of his attention. It sounded unbelievable, but I just had that feeling.  
  
"Okay... so you're gonna go straight home after school?" Changmin asked.  
  
"Yeah, some tea and rest will help I guess." I said.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Will you stop staring at him and just do something?" JunKi whispered to me and I quickly glanced away from Junsu and looked at my hyung.  
  
"I..." I started not knowing what to say.  
  
"I thought you said you're not Yunho." He smirked teasing me.  
  
"Yeah, well... I'm just waiting for the right moment." I replied looking back at Junsu. "You haven't told him anything, right?"  
  
"Of course not." He replied. "And well, I don't feel very good about it, I never had secrets with him."  
  
"I know hyung... I'm sorry." I said sighing and looking down.  
  
"Hey, it's ok. I know it's not like the easiest thing to do, even though you know he loves you." He said patting my back slightly.  
  
"Yeah, well... I know I just... I had to be sure about myself. I mean, it shocked me at first, which is of course normal... I needed to think about it." I said. I've been thinking about Junsu ever since JunKi told me everything. I've been watching him the whole time, during classes, during lunch... I would even follow JunKi whenever he would meet him, just watched them from afar. I was sure Junsu noticed me looking at him, I guess I was lucky Changmin was always there with him, so he could easily think I was looking at Min.  
  
The bare thought of Junsu loving me so much and for such a long time made me admire him. And as much as I tried not to watch him so much I couldn't. I didn't want to either. I finally started noticing how beautiful he is. His smile and laugh, whenever he would smile I would too. And I wanted him to laugh with me. He would look at me often. I can't believe I haven't noticed that before, but he's been watching me. Who knows for how long. There was something in his look that made me shiver every time. It did something to me. He didn't deserve me, I don't know what he found in me. I could just be happy because of it, just like I was happy every time his eyes would land on me.  
  
Two weeks passed, I knew I was taking too much time, but I needed that. He made me forget all about Changmin. My mind has been completely concentrated on him now, he even invaded my dreams, making me wake up with a smile on my face. Weekends became sweet torture, spent in waiting for Monday, for another school day, when I'll finally see him again. I knew it has been hard for him, I just needed some time to be sure of my feelings. And I finally was.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hyung, do you think Junsu is alright?" I asked walking into the house.  
  
"Well, let's check." Yoochun replied and we went upstairs. Yoochun opened the door of Junsu's room slowly and peeked in, then motioned to me to look as well. Junsu was sound asleep and I smiled. Quickly we exited the room and I walked into mine, leaving the door opened for Yoochun to come.  
  
"I'm worried about him." Yoochun asked closing the door behind him and sitting down on my bed. I walked into the bathroom and washed my hands, then came back to him.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, he's been acting like that for a while. I mean, it's just Junsu, yeah, but... a couple of weeks ago I came into his room and he was sleeping... and crying."  
  
"Crying in his sleep?" I asked. "Well... umm... maybe he had a bad dream." I said.  
  
"Yeah, I know... but I just have this feeling there's something bugging him. Or making him sad. He changed through the years, he just got this... emotionless expression. Like, he's always smiling, laughing, he's always cheerful. But I think he's just trying to hide himself. From everyone, even me. I don't know why, but I know he doesn't trust me. He never talks to me, never opens to me. And yet, he's always there for me." He said sighing.  
  
"Yoochun..." I said sitting down next to him. "I'm sure he'll open to you one day, when he feels like it."  
  
"I know." He nodded and shut up. We sat there in silence for a couple of minutes.  
  
"You know... I wanted to talk with you about that... kiss." Yoochun started.  
  
"What about it?" I asked nervously.  
  
"Well... it just happened. And I had a feeling that you've been avoiding to talk about it ever since." He continued.  
  
"I thought there is nothing to talk about." I said quietly.  
  
"There isn't?" he asked and frowned.  
  
"Well, you dared me, so I did it." I explained.  
  
"I see." He nodded and silence filled the room once again.  
  
"You think there is something to talk about concerning that kiss?" I asked.  
  
"Well... did it mean something?"  
  
"I don't know. Did it?"  
  
"I asked you first."  
  
"Why do I have to answer?" I asked.  
  
"So it did." He said smirking slightly.  
  
"You said it."  
  
"You meant it." He said.  
  
"God, you're annoying." I said rolling my eyes and getting up, walking up to the window. He followed me and put his arms around me.  
  
"Am I? Does this mean something? Does this make you feel something... you're fighting not to feel?" he whispered to my ear, stepping closer.  
  
"If you're trying to get me back for that kiss..." I started turning around and looking at him. "... damn, it's working." I finished, pressing my lips against his.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smirked as he kissed me again. I pushed him against the wall and deepend the kiss. He responded, opening his mouth and finding my tongue with his, pulling me closer at the same time. I ran my hand down his body, past his hip and finally resting it on his @ss as he wrapped his leg around me, grinding into me. I moaned into the kiss and I lifted him in my arms, then carried him to the bed.  
  
And then, he pulled away.  
  
"Yoochun... stop." He said breathlessly, but I didn't listen, as I moved onto his neck.  
  
"Min..." I whispered kissing him, not being able to control myself anymore.  
  
"Stop..." he repeated more firmly, but I just wasn't listening.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I said stop!" I raised my voice, pushing him off me. He sat up finally, giving me confused look. "You don't know what 'stop' means?" I asked looking back at him.  
  
"What?" he asked. I watched him. I knew he was annoyed now.  
  
"Nothing, we just shouldn't." I said quietly.  
  
"Why not?" he asked. "You want it."  
  
"I... it's just lust... there's nothing more there... so I don't want it." I said firmly. I don't know how I managed, since I wanted more, so much more. He was looking at me for a moment, then stood up.  
  
"Fine." He replied and went out.  
  
I sighed and buried my face into a pillow. Stupid, stupid Min. I wanted him so much. But I was afraid, I didn't want to go through the same situation again. I didn't want another JaeJoong. I wanted Yoochun, I wanted him to love me, to give himself to me so I could give myself to him. I was scared, because I was ready to actually love him. I wasn't so sure about him though.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
He's driving me crazy. I don't know what to do now. One thing is certain... another cold shower. How much more could I take?  
  
  
Min Sun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho, what's wrong?" I asked snuggling closer to him.  
  
"Nothing, why?" he asked giving me a small smile. It was so fake it hurt. I didn't know what to do anymore, I felt like he was thinking about everything and everyone else rather then about me. I felt like I don't even exist.  
  
"You just seem so... distant." I said.  
  
"I'm sorry. I have so many things on my mind." He replied sighing and put his arms around me. They never seem to make me warm. It was like I've been hugging a stone, not my boyfriend who should radiate heat, love. I never got that from Yunho.  
  
Sometimes I would ask myself if it was worth it. Trying to keep Yunho's mind off Junki. All I could do was try, but I never succeeded. It was killing me, but I knew I wasn't capable of doing it. It was clear it wasn't in my power. And that was an awful feeling. My boyfriend in love with another man, thinking about him, imagining him all the time. I wondered if he's been imagining him instead of me whenever we kissed, made love, slept in each others arms. He would call him in his sleep and I would cry. Every time. I would rush into the bathroom and stay for a long time, trying to put myself together. He never noticed anything.  
  
Why am I still trying? Why?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I went out of Min Sun's house. She's not dumb, she noticed something's wrong with me. I can't stand it anymore, thinking about JunKi every time I'm with her. I feel awful, I'm so guilty I didn't even think it's possible to feel like this. I'm an awful boyfriend and an awful friend. But I can't fight my feelings.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hi." He said looking at me as I turned around to see who just came into my room.  
  
"Yunho?" I asked a bit surprised.  
  
"I want to talk to you."


	30. Chapter 30

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Okay..." I said looking at him, not knowing what to expect.  
  
"You know... when JaeJoong realized he's gay... we had a small... fight." He started. He was nervous for some reason. I listened. Of course I remembered that day. He made me cry, I thought he despised gays, and me being one and in love with him... I knew he would hate me the moment he finds out. I couldn't let that happen, so pushing him away sounded like a good idea.  
  
"Well, you acted like it meant a lot more to you then normally it would be. I mean, you acted like there was more to it, not just your brother being gay." He started to ramble.  
  
"What are you trying to say?" I asked.  
  
"You acted like you understood him perfectly, like it meant more for you... like you're gay too." He blurted out.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I widened my eyes at my own words. But now I couldn't take them back. That was exactly what I wanted... no, what I needed to know. Was he gay? I knew he wouldn't be disgusted if he found out I was, since his brother was too, but was he? It has been bugging me for a while. It was something that I would always think about, ever since that day... but at first it didn't matter to me. When I started dating Min Sun and realized that all I've been thinking about was him, the thought of him being gay started haunting me. Literally.  
  
I stepped closer to him. Looking at him and not being able to do anything hurt me. I knew I had to touch him, make some kind of contact.  
  
"Are you hyung?" I asked more freely now. He wasn't saying a thing, so I had to ask. "Are you gay?"  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Why does he have to torture me? He keeps on with it. Does he realize it? I don't know anymore. I'm so confused, I don't know if he knows about me being gay, being in love with him... I don't know anything. I don't even know how to answer his question. Is it safe to tell him the truth? I guess he won't hate me, he's still JaeJoong's best friend, after everything that happened. But will my answer confirm his possible doubts about me being in love with him?  
  
I remained silent and he came even closer, our bodies practically touching as he leaned closer. I couldn't move. Stupid me being frozen in the spot whenever he comes closer.  
  
"I asked you something hyung." He whispered into my ear again, then nibbled on it. God, no... what the hell is wrong with him?  
  
"Stop... Yunho..." I said weakly.  
  
"Not until you answer my question." He said putting his hands on my hips and pulling me closer as he started kissing my neck.  
  
"Why are you doing this?" I asked swallowing hard and trying to stay calm. It was extremely hard though.  
  
"Why not?" he asked back, his breath brushing against my skin, sending electricity down my body and causing me to shiver noticeably. He smirked and went back to kissing me.  
  
"Because the last time I checked..." I gasped as he nibbled on my skin a bit. "... you were straight... with a girlfriend." I finished lamely. My breathing got heavier and I knew he knew I enjoyed this.  
  
"So?" He asked pulling away from me and looking at me. I stared back at him. How could he even ask that? "That still doesn't answer my question." He said leaning closer and kissing my cheek, close to my lips. Too close.  
  
"Yu-" I started but he caught my lips in that moment, slipping his tongue into my mouth instantly. I was shocked, I couldn't move, but he continued to explore my mouth like it was the most natural thing possible. Taking advantage of your hyung like that Yunho? As that thought appeared in my mind I quickly kissed him back. Afterall, that was all I wanted for such a long time now.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I moaned as soon as he kissed me back and pressed his body against mine, pulling him as close as I could. I needed to feel as much as possible. I've been dreaming about this so much that I couldn’t get enough now. Finally he wrapped his arms around me and gave in completely.  
  
When we broke the kiss I held onto him and he just looked down, still not letting go, but not looking up at me either. That was one thing I didn't need.  
  
"Look at me hyung." I said.  
  
"No." he responded firmly. "What the hell did you need that for?" he asked. He was regretting it, I went too far... I destroyed us, our relationship. I felt my heart sink.  
  
"I..." I started, but stopped as he looked back at me, with an angry look on his face.  
  
"I'm gay. Alright?" he suddenly said, pushing me away. "Happy now?" I couldn't say a thing. "I don't know why you had to push it so much... I just... you're not gay, you're straight and you have a girlfriend. And a great one too. I don't know what you're doing here with me. Just go Yunho. I said it to you a lot of times, but you don't seem to understand. You just keep coming back." He said angrily. "I know you're JaeJoong's best friend and that's great... Just leave me alone." He said emphasizing word 'me'.  
  
"What if I can't?" I asked.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
What? What is he saying?  
  
"Look... I don't know... you're my hyung. I want to be with you, talk to you the way we used to talk, spend time with you, touch you..." he trailed off.  
  
"You don't just go randomly and kiss your hyung." I said. "I'm not one of your girls Yunho, I won't let you toy with me. What? Min Sun is not enough anymore, you're moving onto guys now?"  
  
"It's not that..."  
  
"What is it then? Stop doing this to me."  
  
"I don't know if I can JunKi!" he yelled suddenly. "I can't control it, I just want you!"  
  
I watched him. I was shocked. I wanted to hear that from him. But why did I have this awful feeling? Nothing was right in our relationship anymore. We used to be best friends, like brothers, I fell in love with him, he got himself a girlfriend... and now he's telling me he wants me? No, I can't let myself fall for him more and then get hurt.  
  
"You can't have me." I said quietly. "You have Min Sun."  
  
"I don't want..."  
  
"Yes, you do. Just like you want every other girl. Always. At least she's a nice one. Don't lose her." I said, killing myself with my own words. "We don't exist Yunho, we can't exist. I'm your hyung, it won't change. But it would be better if we don't spend much time together." I finished.  
  
"I get it. I'm sorry." He said shortly. "I'll see you." He added and went out.  
  
I sat down on my bed and buried my head in my hands. I didn't know what happened and I didn't know what to do now. How to avoid him. How to forget him. I just knew that I got hurt. Again.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I ran out of Jae's house and as soon as I got to my house, to my room I started crying freely. I never thought I could be this hurt, but I felt my heart aching. For real. I ruined everything. Everything I had and could possibly have with JunKi. And for the first time I realized how much I really love him. I love him.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I silently ate my dinner. Junsu was giving me strange looks, I guess he used to me talking all the time. I would also look at Yoochun from time to time, expecting him to look back at me, but he found the content of his plate extremely amusing.  
  
"I have to go do my homework." Junsu said standing up and walked out of the kitchen. Poor guy, the atmosphere must have been unbearable for him. I couldn't blame him.  
  
"Are you still mad at me?" I asked putting down my chopsticks and turning completely to him.  
  
"No. I wasn't mad in the first place." He replied quietly.  
  
"Then why are you avoiding me?" I asked.  
  
"I don't."  
  
"You're not looking at me."  
  
"I didn't know I have to." He said glaring at me finally. I shut up.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said quietly.  
  
"You don't have to be. I got it all." He said quickly. "Can we get over it already?"  
  
"Okay." I nodded and stood up taking my plate. We weren't okay, but at least he talked to me. If you could call it a talk. I guess there was nothing I could do now. That's what I get for being a coward.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched him exit the kitchen and sighed. It hurt me. He didn't want me, it wasn't a surprise for me. I just didn't think he'd lead me onto something and then push me away. That was just... mean. Lust? That was it? He never felt anything for me?  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You did what?" I asked widening my eyes.  
  
"I know, I know... you don't have to yell at me." JunKi replied putting his head into his hands.  
  
"Hyung... I don't know. I really think he feels something for you. And definitely something strong, since we both know that Yunho will never turn gay." I said. "It sounds unbelievable, I know. But he's been doing everything to get to you, he doesn't pay attention to Min Sun when you're around and he kissed you. And you say 'no' to that?"  
  
"Stop reminding me." He cried. "Junsu, I just don't want to get hurt. You know him and his player-ish habits."  
  
"Yeah, but it's different with you, you're his hyung. He wouldn't go after you if he really doesn't care. And well, at least we know that he cares. I mean, after so many years and... wait, playerish is not even a word." I said. He gave me a glare. "The point is do you really think he would turn gay just like that?"  
  
"He got bored of the girls?" Junki asked hopefully.  
  
"Quit the sh.it." I laughed. "I'm serious. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to realize he's into guys. Correction - into you. He loves you babo. He loved you before as well, just in a different way. You think he couldn't start feeling something more?"  
  
"I'm his hyung. I was his hyung... it's just... weird now."  
  
"So, what are you gonna do?"  
  
"Stay away from him, of course."  
  
"JunKi..." I shook my head. I couldn't say anything anymore, he wouldn't listen to me anyway.  
  
"I know everything Junsu. It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I'll be okay." He said sadly. I knew it was everything but okay, but I needed to leave him alone. It was hard enough without me rubbing it in.  
  
I gave him a hug finally and soon after that we said 'bye' to each other.  
  
I was on my way to home. Just when I walked into an empty dark alley I heard footsteps behind me. I decided to ignore them and kept walking. But then I heard the person quicken their pace. I sighed.  
  
"What do you..." I began to say as I turned around quickly.  
  
"Hi Junsu."


	31. Chapter 31

JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"JaeJoong?" he said, surprised. I couldn't blame him. I haven't spoken to him in years.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you." I replied smiling nervously. I was really nervous, I didn't know how to start, what exactly to say. I knew how he felt and it gave me courage, but still...  
  
He nodded, waiting for me to start.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I couldn't possibly guess what he wanted to talk about. So, I waited patiently. I could tell he was nervous, by the way he talked and moved. It looked like it was so hard for him to start.  
  
"I'm listening Jae...Joong." I finished in the last moment. I got used to calling him Jae in my thoughts and with JunKi that it seemed weird calling him anything other then that. For some reason he smiled.  
  
"I don't know how to say it..." he started. I noticed that Jae, just say it. He took a step closer. I slightly panicked, but gave my best to remain calm when he came even closer. I don't remember if he ever was this close to me. I could hear my own heartbeats just feeling him that close. I waited looking at him.  
  
"I know everything Junsu." He said looking into my eyes. I shivered. What is that that he knows? "I know everything you did for me in the past couple of years." I widened my eyes, partly happy and partly horrified. I always hoped that some day he'll find out everything, but now I couldn't imagine what he thought about it all.  
  
"How?" I managed to whisper after swallowing hard. I couldn't say anything else.  
  
"JunKi told me... I know you've been best friends with him ever since rivalry started." He continued. I noticed I was holding my breath. "I know how you feel about me." He said finally, not looking away from me the whole time. I didn't dare to look away.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
He looked so shocked and scared. He didn't move. Maybe I shouldn't have said it like that. Now I wanted to calm him down before I could continue. So I put my hand on his shoulder nervously. Damn, it was so hard for me to control now, but I didn't want to scare him. I didn't know what to do with myself. Well, the best thing would probably be to keep talking, but words somehow disappeared from my head again. Everything I wanted to say to him vanished, leaving me alone, to stare at him and admire him.  
  
"Junsu..." I started again, moving my hand to his neck and cheek. We never broke eye contact. I had the awful feeling he wanted to break it, but couldn't. Like he was glued to the spot. Well, better that then looking away from me.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stared at his eyes. They were telling me something... something I wanted to see in them for such a long time. I didn't know if I can even think that, I couldn't let myself. I could just listen to him and try not to think about anything that could just end up being a dream of mine. His hand on my cheek felt like heaven though. I closed my eyes for a brief second, just feeling it against my skin, in attempt of taking that moment and turn it into eternity.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
He closed his eyes, a small smile playing on his face and I smiled as well, caressing his cheek with my thumb. I took another step towards him. One more and our bodies will touch. I couldn't wait for that to happen. But I knew I had to talk first, the moment I feel his body against mine I'll forget about everything and get lost in him.  
  
"After everything JunKi told me..." I started causing him to open his eyes again and look at me. He seemed more calm now and I felt relieved, able to continue. "... I could feel nothing but admiration towards you. After that night I started thinking about these past couple of years, then even about the time when we used to be friends. I started remembering everything that happened in the last three years. That's when you started... having feelings for me, right?" I asked. He nodded slowly and looked down. "Don't look down Junsu, I want you to look at me while I'm saying this to you." I said in a small voice and he did what I said.  
  
"I'm sure you noticed me looking at you these past couple of weeks." I said.  
  
"I thought... you're looking at Min." he said finally. I smiled.  
  
"Yeah, I was hoping it'll be a good cover. I guess him living with you, being friends with you is a good thing afterall." I joked. I never thought I would say that. But yeah, it was true now. "I can't believe I haven't noticed you paying attention to me before. These past weeks opened my eyes, it was like waking up from my own world - I was too caught up in rivalry and my pitiful love life... I couldn't notice you, your feelings. You're hiding them well, but there is just this look you have... you haven't had it before. Your eyes..." he looked down again.  
  
"I told you not to look down. Don't hide them from me, those beautiful eyes. You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen Junsu... they just have to regain the expression they used to have. I miss that. That look, that pure look of happiness you used to have. It hurts me that it's all because of me. Because of me that look left your eyes, it's been replaced with something that isn't you. The same goes with your smile. It used to be expression of genuine happiness. Now it's... fake." I said looking at him.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I listened to him, not believing what he was saying. My dream... is it finally becoming true? A look of hope appeared on my face and was greeted with a look of love on his. I could see it in his eyes, but I needed to hear it to be sure.  
  
"I want to replace it... with happiness again." He whispered taking another step towards me, finally making a full contact with my body. "I want to love you. I fell for you Junsu." He finished.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
My hand moved from his cheek to the back of his head as I planted a soft kiss on his lips. Slowly, gently, I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around him as he responded to the kiss and embraced me. It didn't last long, but it was wonderful. It was the most beautiful kiss I ever experienced.  
  
Junsu broke the kiss, but didn't pull away a bit. He looked into my eyes.  
  
"I'm not dreaming, am I?" he asked.  
  
"From now on, we're dreaming together." I replied and pulled him into another kiss.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked back home. I felt like I was in heaven. Everything that happened truly was like a dream, better then any dream I had about him actually. I was thankful, excited, anxious... I was happy.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hyung!" I heard Jae and turned around, leaving dinner behind as I looked at him.  
  
"You told him?" I asked widening my eyes. I smiled already, he looked amazingly happy. He just nodded and walked over to me to hug me.  
  
"Thanks hyung." He said holding me close.  
  
"I didn't do anything." I laughed hugging him back.  
  
"You did more then enough. You helped me find my love." He said.  
  
"I love you Jae."  
  
"I love you too." He said. "And I can only imagine how much Junsu loves you." He laughed.  
  
At least something in my life was good. At least something could still make me happy. And seeing my brother and my best friend together was the best gift I could get at the moment.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Something happened. Something good definitely happened. After dinner I went up to Junsu's room. I walked in without knocking and found him laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling with this happy expression on his face.  
  
"Okay, spill it." I said startling him as he quickly looked at me.  
  
"What?" he asked confused.  
  
"You have this 'I'm happy' look on your face. It's so obvious. What happened?" I asked sitting down next to him and smiled excitedly. Yes, I was curious. He just smiled back and blushed a bit. Typical of Junsu. I gasped. "JaeJoong!" I said a bit too loud. He quickly sat up and covered my mouth.  
  
"Yoochun will hear you." He whispered. I nodded and he moved his hand away. I grinned.  
  
"So... what happened? I'm dying here Junsu! Tell me." I said jumping up and down on his bed like a little kid.  
  
"We're together." He said smiling.  
  
"Really?" I widened my eyes again. "I knew it! I knew it... god, I'm so glad!" I said hugging him. He laughed.  
  
"Thanks Min." he replied smiling brightly.  
  
"I never saw you smile like that." I said smiling back. I was happy for them. Junsu deserved that more then anyone.  
  
"Yeah... that's because I was hopelessly in love and desperate this whole time." He said sighing. "But now it changed... and I can't suppress this smile." He laughed. "Yoochun will notice, right?" he asked concerned.  
  
"Why are you worried about him? He should be happy for you." I said frowning a bit. Knowing Yoochun... he'll explode when he finds out.  
  
"You know him. I mean, you know what happened when you were dating JaeJoong. Imagine what will happen when he finds about me, his brother, and his 'worst enemy'." He sighed.  
  
"I know... but he'll have to accept it. Your happiness should be the most important thing to him." I said. He nodded and shut up.  
  
"What's going on with you and him?" he asked me. I didn't know what to say to that. How to reply. "You like him right?" he asked again.  
  
"Am I that obvious?" I asked.  
  
"Well... yeah." He said and chuckled a bit.  
  
"It's not funny, you know." I said smacking him on the head playfully.  
  
"Sorry... geeze, you even started acting like him." He said rolling his eyes and I laughed.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, silly." He replied. "Now, what are you going to do?"  
  
"Nothing... I'm not even sure what he feels..." I said shrugging.  
  
"He likes you, I mean, that is obvious as well."  
  
"Yeah, but is it enough? I don't want him to be another JaeJoong." I said then remembered it was Junsu's boyfriend I was talking about. "No offense... Jae loves you, he didn't love me. Now, I'm afraid Yoochun will be just like him, liking me, but finding rivalry more important then me."  
  
"I don't know Changmin... maybe you shouldn't think about it that way. I know he cares very much about you. He never showed that kind of affection towards anyone before."  
  
"I just... don't want to rush into things. It's not gonna bring me any good." I sighed. Junsu finally nodded. I smiled giving him another hug.  
  
"I'm happy for you guys." I said to him and he smiled broadly, watching me walking out of his room.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into my room and jumped onto my bed, burying my face into the pillow as always. Damn heart of mine, will you ever stop hurting? All I wanted to do was forget about JunKi now. He wanted me to leave him alone and I had Min Sun. To others my life must have looked perfect. But I was tearing apart inside. I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't need anything, I didn't need anyone. I just wanted to drown in my own tears and selfpity.  
  
I was tired of crying, I was tired of this pain that filled my heart every time I would think about Junki, every time I saw him and couldn't talk to him, look at him. I knew I was forbidden to interact with him, but I couldn't keep my eyes off him, that was the only thing I had left.  
  
I let out a sob, but a doorbell interrupted me. I quickly got up and rushed downstairs, opening the door hopefully. What was I expecting? JunKi smiling at me and pulling me into a hug, a kiss? Telling me he loves me and wants to be with me? What?  
  
"I need to talk to you, Yunho."


	32. Chapter 32

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Sure, come in." I nodded moving aside and letting Min Sun into the house. We walked into the living room and she turned to me.  
  
"I want to break up."  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hyung... let me do it." I whined looking at JunKi and giving him my best puppy dog eyes look. He just chuckled eyeing me and shook his head.  
  
"No way, I want to do something for you guys."  
  
"You can always do it. In fact, you always do." I continued pouting this time. "Just let me. I want to surprise him."  
  
"You think it'll be that easy? He's better cook then you and me together." JunKi laughed and I just widened my eyes and opened my mouth in disbelief.  
  
"Junsu? My little Junsu is better cook then you?" I gasped. That sounded unbelievable.  
  
"A little possessive are we?" JunKi chuckled again.  
  
"Hey, he is mine." I pouted again and pushed him playfully.  
  
"Shut up and let me finish this, will you?" he said. "Go, get dressed, fix your hair, admire yourself... do something, anything... just stay away from kitchen."  
  
"Fine." I grumbled and went out of the kitchen sighing. "Meany." I added quietly.  
  
"I heard that!" he yelled from the kitchen and I rolled my eyes, heading upstairs.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Once I was done I went up to my room and took a shower, then changed. As I finished with my hair I heard the doorbell, but didn't bother going upstairs, since I already heard Jae running to open the door.  
  
I took my time and glanced at the mirror once again before I headed downstairs as well.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Break up?" I asked a bit shocked. "Why? I mean, I thought everything was alright." I said. Who was I kidding?  
  
"Nothing is alright Yunho." She said sighing. "You just keep lying to yourself. I used to do that too, but I don't want to anymore."  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked looking at her intently.  
  
"I mean that from the beginning of our relationship your mind has been somewhere else. And what's worse, your heart has been somewhere else. With someone else. It never was me." She said. I swallowed, waiting for her to continue.  
  
"I sensed it, I just decided to ignore it." She said. "When we went to JaeJoong's house the first time I met the person that was clearly my... should I say rival?" she said, then shook her head. "No, I don't want to look at him like that. Actually, I can't really look at him like that, since it was always me who was standing in his way, I was the one who kept you away from him." She said sadly. "There was tension between you two. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but it was so obvious. I kept thinking about it afterwards, I didn't have much choice anyway, since all you could do was talk about him. I understood it and accepted it, hoping that you'll forget about him and look at me. But that never happened. I wasn't in the picture in the first place."  
  
I opened my mouth to say something, but she stopped me.  
  
"You never looked at me as at a girlfriend. You just used me to forget about him." I wanted to protest again, but she smiled. "It's okay, I knew that all along, I went along with that. I'm not mad, I'm sad. And I'm not even sad for myself, but I'm sad because you wasted your time on me, trying to be a good boyfriend, hiding, I bet you felt guilty all the time. You were torturing yourself. And him." I looked down letting it all sink in. She knew all along? I was pretty sure that she had her doubts, but she actually knew.  
  
"I'm sorry." I replied.  
  
"Don't be. I should've stopped this a long time ago." She said giving me another small smile. "Okay, I'm gonna go now. I'll see you around Yunho." She added and hugged me before she headed for the door. I followed her silently and opened the door for her.  
  
"Be happy, okay?" she said and I nodded, right before she left.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was nervous, I haven't been in JaeJoong's and JunKi's house in years. Okay, that wasn't the only reason I was nervous. JaeJoong was a strong enough reason to sweep me off my feet and I was actually expecting that to happen the moment I see him. The bare thought made me shiver and I bit my lip as I nervously rang the bell and looked around.  
  
The door opened a lot sooner then I expected and I was greeted by JaeJoong's sexy smirk as he eyed me up and down. I blushed instantly, finding myself checking him out as well.  
  
"Hey." He said taking my hand and pulling me in gently, then closing the door, at the same time placing a soft kiss on my lips.  
  
"Hey." I replied as we pulled apart and smiled.  
  
"It's been awhile, ha?" he said smiling and leading me further into the house.  
  
"Yeah... but this place hasn't changed a bit." I replied looking around. The sudden feeling of warmth covered my body as I noticed that basically everything was the same. It felt like home. This house used to be my second home when I was a little kid.  
  
"Junsu!" I heard and turned to see JunKi coming downstairs.  
  
"Hey hyung!" I said smiling broadly. He walked up to us and gave me a hug. "How are you?"  
  
"Okay." He nodded, Jae and me exchanged glances. "I'm fine, okay? In fact, I'm going out tonight. Leaving you guys alone." He said giving us a playful wink. I blushed. "Okay, well, see ya later guys. Have fun." He finished grabbing his jacket and exited the house.  
  
"Hyung made us dinner." Jae said. I smiled. "He didn't let me do anything." He added pouting.  
  
"Well, that doesn't surprise me, I never let Yoochun into the kitchen either." I chuckled.  
  
"But I wanted to make something for you. Besides I bet I'm much better cook then Yoochun will ever be." He replied. I chuckled.  
  
"I'm sure you'll take care of the desert though." I said. I couldn't believe I just said it. I immediately blushed involuntarily. It just didn't match my words. Jae also looked shocked, I guess he didn't expect that from his innocent Junsu.  
  
"Junsu!" he said widening his eyes.  
  
"What?" I asked innocently, but he wasn't buying it. I bit my lip.  
  
"You keep surprising me Su." He said chuckling. "Innocent but sexy... with a dirty mind..." he whispered into my ear. "Something tells me you won't make it till the desert."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Changmin..." I whispered into the pillow, giving in to one of my favorite fantasies. Ever since Changmin moved in with us I started fantasizing about him. It was my dirty secret... I was a pervert. And a proud one.  
  
"Minnie..." I moaned softly once again almost feeling for real everything he was doing in the fantasy. I guess my imagination went a bit wild-er then usual.  
  
"Yoochun..." I heard him whisper and wrap his arms around me from behind.  
  
"Mmm... Min..." I moaned again.  
  
"Yoochun..." he said again, I could feel his hot breath on my ear. "Yoochun." He called me again. I snapped my eyes open.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
He was moaning my name? I felt myself blush every time I heard it escape his lips. It sounded so... sexy... coming from him. I swallowed and called him again as I held onto him tightly now.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I turned around quickly. He was there, in my bed, looking at me. I opened my mouth widening my eyes, completely terrified.  
  
"What... what are you doing here?" I asked, then glanced down at his arms, still wrapped around me. Then I looked at his body, shocked at the fact that he was only in his pajama bottoms. I quickly looked back at his face.  
  
"I couldn't sleep." He whispered. I looked closer into his eyes. He looked scared. "I had a nightmare... it was awful." He said looking down. I pulled him closer, hugging him as he rested his head on my shoulder. I ran my hand through his hair, trying to calm him down.  
  
"Can I sleep here tonight?" he asked in a small voice. I nodded.  
  
"Of course." I replied. I heard him sigh contently snuggling into me. Silence soon filled the room and I felt him relax as he slowly drifted off to sleep. I, on the other hand, had the feeling this will be another sleepless night.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
Finishing my third bottle of soju decided that I was ready to move it to the dance floor. I stood up, feeling slightly dizzy, but still able to walk normally. I started walking up to the crowd that was moving rhythmically on the dance floor and soon joined them.  
  
I started moving smoothly, something I rarely did, dancing not being 'my thing'. However, the drink took over the control of my body and I found myself dancing more freely then ever.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
As Min Sun left I went back upstairs deciding that I had enough of it for today. Actually for the past couple of weeks.  
  
I took a long relaxing shower, got dressed and went out of the house. There was this one place that could help me forget about everything for a moment, let me drown all my problems. Okay, that one problem.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt someone's hand on my waist as they moved their hips in the rhythm with mine. I didn't pay much attention, but after a couple of moments I tried to move away from the person. It was useless, since the person just turned me around and wrapped his arm around me tightly. He was taller then me and much stronger. I smiled nervously and tried to push him away, but it seemed impossible.  
  
"You know, I need to breathe." I tried. He just looked at me lustfully. I could tell that he was really drunk as well, while I suddenly felt extremely sober. "Let me go." I said more firmly. He just smirked in a mocking way, causing me to shudder in fear as he started exploring my body with his hands.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the club, already slightly intoxicated with the atmosphere. It was crowded as usual, but as I looked around all I could see was him. In the arms of some other guy.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Let me go!" I practically screamed for what seemed like millionth time.  
  
"Shut up bit.ch." the guy growled at me as he pinned me to the nearest wall. I haven't even noticed we were moving towards it. If I couldn't move before, now I couldn't even think about trying to. I cursed myself for being so weak. But then again, this guy was huge. I swallowed in complete fear, asking myself how the hell I’m going to get out of this.  
  
"Let go of him." I heard a familiar voice and the guy looked over his shoulder to glare at whoever was crazy enough to interrupt him in his abusing mission. God... no...  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I pushed the guy off of JunKi. He was startled, but I wasn't the best fighter in Seoul High for no reason. Plus the bastard was drunk, while I was completely sober. He growled at me and attempted to throw a punch, but I ducked easily and hit him in the stomach instead, knocking him off his feat. It wasn't a hard task anyway, considering the state he has been in.  
  
I didn't give him time to get back on his feet and I kicked him one more time before I grabbed JunKi's hand quickly and pulled him out of the club.


	33. Chapter 33

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you alright?" Yunho asked as soon as we exited the club.  
  
"Yeah." I lied looking down.  
  
"What..."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." I cut him off. "At least not here."  
  
"Okay, then I'll take you home."  
  
"My home? No, no..." I said quickly shaking my head. Jae and Junsu were there, I didn't want to come back too early. "I don't want Jae to see me like this." I added quietly.  
  
"Alright, my place then." He said eyeing me carefully still, while I avoided his gaze. I didn't say a thing, just started walking. Well, more like attempted to walk.  
  
"You're not okay." He said putting his arm around my waist and helping me. I sighed in frustration, but didn't push him away since I clearly needed help. I couldn't normally stand on my feet. I guess drink and fright did that to me.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
Soon we reached my house. It was awfully quiet and I was worried. I opened the door and got into the house, still holding him, then walked into the living room and made him sit on the couch. I looked at him.  
  
"Okay, now tell me what the hell have you been thinking?" I asked, sounding more angry then I was. I was actually worried and scared. I just realized it. If I haven't gone there tonight who knows what could've happened.  
  
"Nothing, I just got a bit drunk." He shrugged, trying to act normally, but he was shaking a bit. He has been shaking ever since we exited the club.  
  
"A bit drunk? You can't walk JunKi!" I yelled. He shot me a look. "And that bastard... what the hell were you thinking... dancing like that. I can't even think what could've happened..." I said as I felt scared all over again. Thank god I was there. I kept telling myself that for the last half an hour.  
  
He didn't reply, but he looked down and I heard him sniff. I stepped closer and bent down to look at him.  
  
"JunKi?" I asked concerned. I shouldn't have snapped like that. I kneeled down in front of him and looked up at him as he covered his face suddenly. "Hyung?" I called again.  
  
"Yunho..." he managed to say right before he started crying. I widened my eyes and swallowed not knowing what to do for a brief second.  
  
I pulled him into a hug and he started sobbing uncontrollably, crying harder. He rested his head on my shoulder and I let him cry. He needed that.  
  
"I was so scared..." I heard him say between sobs. Of course he was scared, I was scared, I couldn't imagine how scared he must've been.  
  
"Shhh..." I tried to calm him down as I rubbed his back soothingly.  
  
"I'm sorry... I don't know what I would do if you weren't there." He said and I just tightened my embrace, feeling his arms hug me back.  
  
"I'm sorry Yunho... I'm sorry..." He repeated and I hugged him.  
  
"Don't be sorry, I'm not. I would do it always. Anything to protect my hyung." I said and he lifted his head to look at me. I looked back, staring into his eyes. He hesitated for a moment, but then brushed his lips against mine lightly. I shivered wanting more, but it only lasted a moment, before he moved again, shifting into his previous position, with his head on my shoulder.  
  
Soon he calmed down and relaxed and I moved him to lean back against the couch as I sat down beside him. I sighed lightly and turned on the tv, flipping through channels. After some time I glanced at JunKi and found him asleep. I smiled at the sight of his beautiful face. I stood up and picked him up, then carried him upstairs, to my room. I placed him on my bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.  
  
Coming back from it I glanced at him and then sat down on the floor, admiring him. He was so beautiful, I rarely had a chance to watch him freely like this. And I don't think I have ever seen him asleep. He was insanely handsome and I felt my cheeks burning in embarrassment. How could I even imagine falling for him? He was wonderful and I was... nothing special. He was right, I was just a player... but I fell in love with him. After what seemed like only a couple of moments, but it was more like two hours, I slowly fell asleep myself.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
He smiled watching my facial expression as I looked around again. This time it was his room. I looked back at him.  
  
"You look happy for being here." He chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, with you." I nodded.  
  
"Well, I do come with the house." He nodded and laughed.  
  
"How about JunKi?"  
  
"You're not here for JunKi." He said raising his eyebrows and put his arms around my waist as he pulled me closer. I pretended to think about it for a moment and he gasped playfully.  
  
"You'd prefer JunKi?" he asked trying to suppress the laughter.  
  
"He is my best friend you know." I nodded.  
  
"But I'm your boyfriend." He pouted. I felt rush of butterflies in my stomach at the mention of the word 'boyfriend' and I grinned burying my face in his neck.  
  
"You have no idea how good it feels to hear that." I whispered as he hugged me tightly.  
  
"Let me know then." He replied and I smiled.  
  
"I love you." I said looking at him. I don't think he expected that since he stared at me slightly frightened. "You don't have to say it back, you know." I added giving him a smile. I knew it was too early, it was easy for me to say it, since I've been in love with him practically my whole life. But he just realized I existed... at least in that way.  
  
I felt him relax and move his hands up and down my back as he kissed me more passionately this time.  
  
"No, I want to say it." He said breaking the kiss. "I love you too." He replied.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.   
  
  
I did love him. I only realized it now. The past month has been amazing, from me discovering everything, to watching him, even stalking him... and finally confessing everything to him. He made me happy, something I never was before, not even with Yuri. I used to think that my relationship with Yuri was happiness, but only two weeks of dating with Junsu proved me wrong.  
  
"Are you shocked?" I asked as he stayed quiet.  
  
"I am." He nodded. "It's... too soon." He added. "I mean, not for me... just you only realized what's going on, how I feel, we just started a relationship..." he rambled.  
  
"I know, but I feel it." I replied simply.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I just do." I answered. "Don't question me, just trust me, alright?"  
  
"I trust you." He nodded smiling broadly and kissed me again.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I inhaled deeply and a rather familiar scent greeted me, causing me to shiver. My eyes opened slowly and I found myself resting against Yoochun's soft chest. I slightly moved away and looked up at his face. He groaned in his sleep and moved his hand down my back slightly, making himself more comfortable. I was still holding onto him, now not being able to look away from him.  
  
My gaze traveled from his face down, to his body. I was only in my pajama pants, but he only had his boxers on. I felt myself blushing suddenly, but I didn't back away from him. I actually enjoyed the sight in front of me. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but that, of course, wouldn't be a good idea. I knew it too well. However, there was something I could do.  
  
Slowly, I went back to my previous position, snuggling closer to him and burying my face into his neck lightly. He tightened his arms around me again and I smiled, closing my eyes, ready to go back to sleep.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Opening my eyes I looked down and smiled to see Changmin's smiling face buried in my neck. I leaned down and kissed his cheek lightly. He looked so adorable, so innocent. The position we were in was everything but innocent, though. His left leg resting on top of my right one as I was completely turned to him, our hips meeting in rather provocative way. I smirked not willing to admit this was turning me on.  
  
"Being naughty, Minnie?" I leaned in to his ear, causing him to open his eyes suddenly. "And pretending to sleep?" I smirked again, moving away from his ear and looking into his eyes. That didn't last long since he blushed and buried his face in my neck completely. I leaned down again, this time kissing his neck softly. "Coming to me in the middle of the night like that..." I whispered between kisses. "... snuggling into my arms... straddling me like this..." I continued and smiled as I noticed him trying to suppress a moan.  
  
"I couldn't sleep." I heard him finally.  
  
"Nice try." I nodded. I knew he had a nightmare, but teasing him like this was fun. "I didn't know you wanted me that bad." I smirked.  
  
"Urgh... Yoochun..." He said and I let myself nibble on his ear softly, moving my hands down his body.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked teasingly, but then almost jumped, feeling his lips on my neck.  
  
"Yoochun..." he almost moaned and I felt myself get more and more turned on as he continued kissing and licking my neck and up to my ear.  
  
"Min..." I moaned freely and tightened my grip on his hips, starting to kiss him with more passion as I felt him move his leg up, almost straddling me completely.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yoochun." I moaned again, feeling myself giving in. No. What am I thinking? No. I don't want it. Not like this.  
  
"Urgh... Yoochun... stop." I said fighting with myself. "Stop." I repeated.  
  
"Min..." he moaned again. Is it just me or we were in similar situation a couple of weeks ago?  
  
I pulled away slightly and he looked at me. God, he looked so sexy, I couldn't help myself. I pulled him into a kiss. It was more passionate then the ones we used to share, I didn't know it was possible, but I guess he succeeded to surprise me. It was like we were on fire, it felt like the kiss alone could send me over the edge.  
  
I pulled away again, breathing heavily and staring at him for a moment, then turned around and stood up quickly.  
  
"You're doing it again Min."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I couldn't believe he was doing it again. Turning me on, then pushing me away. I couldn't take it anymore. This time I was angry.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked sitting up in my bed. I guess he wanted to leave the room, but my words stopped him. "You enjoy torturing me? Playing with me? Turning me on and leaving me hanging like that?" I continued.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stood until he shut up, then walked out of his room. I slammed the door of my room once I was in there and jumped on my bed, burying my face in the pillow. I felt like crying in frustration. Why was I so afraid?  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I slowly opened my eyes and glanced at the clock. 5am. I couldn't sleep properly. Dreaming of JunKi and now seeing him in front of me, sleeping in my bed. I slowly crawled to the bed, still not getting up from the floor and leaned against it, watching him.  
  
"Yunho..." he suddenly said, causing me to jump a little bit. Was he awake? I looked closer, but his eyes were shut. He looked like he was in pain though. I reached out and ran my hand through his hair lightly, brushing it off his face.  
  
"Yunho... no... go away... please go..." he was talking in his sleep and I frowned. I was haunting him in his dreams, he was suffering because of me.  
  
Suddenly I remembered what Min Sun told me last night. I was torturing myself and him. I couldn't believe it could be because he loved me. I didn't dare to think that.  
  
"Yunho..." I heard him again. "Don't..." What was I doing in his dream? He started crying. I panicked and quickly moved away from him. "Don't go..." I swallowed, waiting for him to say something else now. His voice turned into a whisper. It was soft and barely audible, but I heard it.  
  
"I love you."


	34. Chapter 34

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I woke up with a terrible headache. I looked around noticing that I'm not at home. Actually this room looked awfully familiar. Of course, Yunho's room. But what am I doing here? I looked around and then spotted him. How could I not notice that someone was holding my hand in the first place? I stared at our hands for a moment, enjoying the feeling as a smile appeared on my face. I looked back at him, he was sleeping next to the bed, his head resting on the bed, next to my hip.  
  
I watched him for quite some time, not wanting to disturb him in his sleep as the events from last night started coming back to me. I sighed thinking about it all, how he was there for me, how he cared. Well, that was nothing new, we have always been close. Besides, JaeJoong and Junsu would do the same thing. He would never look at me in any other way then as his hyung. Although, something about the way he was holding my hand now and how he was looking at me last night, something about it was saying the opposite. It was probably my mind, my urges and wishes playing with me again. Nothing changed between us and nothing ever will. I knew we should act like the last night never happened.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I opened my eyes slowly, only to find an empty bed in front of me. Standing up I went to the bathroom, then headed downstairs and into the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning." He said putting breakfast on the table. I just looked at him in awe. He was in my house, after a horrible, drunken night and he was making me a breakfast. At that moment I fell in love even more.  
  
"You don't have to do that, I should've made something for you." I said.  
  
"You did enough last night." He said quietly and sat down, drinking his coffee. I sat across from him.  
  
"It was nothing, I'm always there to protect my hyung." I replied. He glanced at me, but then turned back to his cup.  
  
"Thanks Yunho." He said simply.  
  
"You don't have to thank me..." I started.  
  
"Yes, I do." He interrupted me quickly. "You didn't have to do it, after everything that happened between us... but you did and I'm thankful for that." He said and swallowed a bit. "But... it would be better to pretend like last night didn't happen." He finished.  
  
I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to forget last night. At least not the second part of it. Especially not the part when he said he loved me in his dream. Of course, I couldn't just tell him that.  
  
"Last night did happen JunKi." I said in a small voice. I felt like if I say it louder he'll explode, get mad at me and never talk to me again. But then again, it wouldn't be a lot worse then now. He avoided me and we didn't spend a lot of time together anyway. Actually, we didn't spend time together at all.  
  
"Forget about it." He replied shortly again and got up. "Nothing changed."  
  
I stared at him, not believing. I opened my mouth to say something, but he already stormed out of the kitchen and out of my house. I buried my head in my hands, losing my appetite all of the sudden.  
  
Wait, JunKi, just wait. I made up my mind. Everything will change.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Baby, you really have to go?" I asked between kisses as Junsu tried to make small steps towards the front door.  
  
"You know I do." He said chuckling slightly. "Yoochun will kill me anyway."  
  
"I can always beat him up, you know." I said smirking as I ran my hands up and down Junsu's back.  
  
"Don't even joke about it." He said getting serious. "I want this rivalry to stop. I always did and now more then ever."  
  
"I know Su, but it's not that easy." I sighed. "I wish it was."  
  
"It's not that hard either. You should just make up and go back to being friends."  
  
"You think we're able to do that?" I asked raising my eyebrow slightly.  
  
"Of course you are. He's my brother and you're my boyfriend, it shouldn't be hard when you have a person you both love. Me." He said simply and grinned happily. I felt this abnormally strong urge to hug him and kiss him, so I did. He was always so... optimistic and cute and... well, I couldn't imagine there would be a person who didn't love him. And he was mine.  
  
"I know, I would love to make up and rewind all those years, but there is not just me. You forgot about Yunho." I sighed. "To tell you the truth, I don't know how he'll react either." It was true, I kind of felt bad for not telling Yunho yet and I was slightly afraid of his reaction.  
  
"Okay... just... we shouldn't wait for a long time. I don't want to hide." He pouted. I nodded and gave him one, last kiss, before he pulled away. "I really, really have to go Jae." I nodded.  
  
"See ya tomorrow." I said. "I'll call you tonight."  
  
He grinned and turned around to head out, but then rushed back, kissing me again. I laughed. He just grinned again and quickly went out.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I guess I won't be seeing Changmin in a while. It seemed like he was hiding in his bedroom trying to avoid me as much as possible. It was a good idea, I didn't want to see him. He was playing with me. That little... I can't believe it, innocent... innocent my @ss.  
  
I sighed and looked at my plate, playing with food again. I wasn't even hungry. I bet he was. Well, he always was. Sooner or later he'll have to come down, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to witness that or not.  
  
I already missed him.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into the house and managed to sneak into my bedroom unnoticed. I quickly took a shower and changed, wondering if they even noticed me not spending the night in the house. I didn't care if Changmin knew, but Yoochun... it was a whole different story.  
  
I took a deep breath and stepped out of my bedroom, heading downstairs, to face my hyung. I could only hope he was too occupied with thoughts about Changmin to think about me and my night adventures.  
  
"Hey." I said stepping into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey." He replied, not glancing away from his plate. I raised my eyebrow.  
  
"Where is Changmin?" I asked.  
  
"Upstairs." Okay, maybe I shouldn't have started this. He wasn't in the mood to talk. I knew better then to start a conversation with him in this state. "Where have you been?" Too late.  
  
"Oh, remember that friend of mine... that guy I met when I was visiting umma and appa last year?" I said. "Well, we haven't seen in a while, so he called me and we went out last night."  
  
"Oh." He replied. I had the feeling he wasn't even listening to me. Well, good, it was bad enough I had to lie to him.  
  
He didn't say anything else and I started making myself some food. I was pretty hungry. Jae made me breakfast, he insisted to do so and it was really great, but it was already 7pm and I haven't eaten anything ever since I got out of Jae's house.  
  
Finally I sat down and started eating. Yoochun didn't move. I had to ask.  
  
"Did something happen?"  
  
"Nothing new." He replied. I believe I gave him a weird look. Seriously, what kind of answer was that? Nothing new? So something old happened? Hyung was acting weird, it was obvious. And where the hell was Changmin? It didn't seem like him not to come and eat, he could feel fresh made food in a mile.  
  
"Has Changmin eaten something today?" I asked.  
  
"Why do you keep asking about him?" He asked somewhat annoyed as he shot me a look. "I don't care if he ate or not. It's his problem. He'll come down when he wants to. And if that never happens, then it's fine with me." He practically yelled and got up to put the plate into the sink.  
  
"Geeze... it was just a simple question." I said. "Now tell me what happened. It must have been something serious for you to react that way."  
  
He sighed and sat back down.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Oh..." Junsu said after I finished talking.  
  
"Thanks a lot for that 'oh'." I replied sarcastically.  
  
"Sorry, I know it's not helpful." He replied resting his head on his hands as he watched me, thinking about everything I said. "I don't know. Changmin certainly is not someone who would just turn you on and leave. Although, yeah, he does it... but I guess he's just not ready. Besides, you're not even a couple yet." He said simply.  
  
"Yeah, well, whos fault is that?"  
  
"Uh... yours?" He asked.  
  
"What?" I asked back. "How is that my fault?"  
  
"Well, you act like you just want to jump him, you're horny and perverted and you just... you never showed how much you cared. He doesn't know you care. You haven't done anything to prove that you really like him. You used to talk, maybe you should go back to that."  
  
"We do talk, we just... make out and fight a lot more." I replied slowly. Okay, maybe Junsu was right.  
  
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about."  
  
"Yeah, yeah... okay, [[email protected]](/cdn-cgi/l/email-protection), I got the point."  
  
"Good, now you'll be able to do something about it." He replied sweetly and stood up, moving to wash the dishes. I hated when he was right. Which was... always.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You did..."  
  
"...what?" Junsu finished for me.  
  
We were in the park. Our park. Junsu was sitting in my lap and looking at JunKi who was sitting next to us, turning slightly to look at us better.  
  
"Don't look at me like that... god, now that you're finally together you became scary. Not to mention that it's not fair, two against one... One being me. Your poor little hyung." JunKi said giving us his puppy eye look.  
  
"Yeah, keep trying, it's not gonna work." I said smirking.  
  
"Besides, what's with 'poor little hyung'? It just doesn't work like that... 'poor little dongsaeng' maybe, but hyung..." Junsu started and I looked at him.  
  
"Junsu, I think he got the point."  
  
"Oh yeah, back to the topic. You did what?" Junsu repeated, making me chuckle slightly as I looked back at JunKi.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
It was impossible to talk to those two now. Maybe I should've done this separately. But I knew I would have to repeat it twice and it was hard enough to say it once. Now they knew what happened that night and I shut up, waiting for them to lecture me. They did it often lately. It's funny how we switched roles.  
  
"He saved you and you told him it's better to forget about it?" Junsu asked.  
  
"It wasn't... the nicest thing to do." JaeJoong said trying to put it nicely.  
  
"Of course it wasn't. It was such a cold way to tell him to back off again." Junsu said it freely. "I don't understand why you're doing that, when you love him. And it looks like he responds to those feelings in a way. Okay, we're not completely sure, but it looks like it." He started to ramble, as usual. "Am I right, Jae?" But yes, he had an accomplice now. Two against one. I was right.  
  
"Yeah, it does seem like it." Jae nodded. "I mean, I'm Yunho's best friend and he does act strange lately. And I know for sure that he changed a lot since you don't talk or hang out together anymore. He just became... so quiet. And he doesn't even look at girls." JaeJoong started.  
  
"God, Jae, of course he doesn't look at girls, he has a girlfriend remember?" I said rolling my eyes.  
  
They looked at each other slightly puzzled. What did I say?  
  
"I thought you knew..." Junsu started.  
  
"... Yunho and Min Sun broke up." JaeJoong finished.  
  
What?


	35. Chapter 35

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"When are you guys gonna be happy?" Junsu asked me sighing.  
  
"What?" I asked back, looking at him.  
  
"You and Yoochun. You're making everything a lot harder then it already is. You like him, he likes you... it's simple." Junsu shrugged.  
  
"It's not that simple." I said in a small voice.  
  
"What are you afraid of Min?"  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at him. Why is he so afraid of that relationship? Why is he trying to shut himself? Backing away all the time. I'm sure he wants it just as bad as Yoochun now. I've been watching the way they act around each other and it's so obvious it's funny they're clueless.  
  
He remained silent and I sighed.  
  
"You have nothing to be afraid of. Yoochun... he cares about you." I said. "He won't hurt you." Now that did it. Changmin looked at me. He looked like he had some inner fight going on in his mind, heart... his whole body. I knew it was hard for him, I just didn't know how hard.  
  
"I want to stop having these feelings." He whispered.  
  
"Why?" I asked shocked.  
  
"He won't hurt me voluntarily, but what if he starts acting just like..." He paused, looking away from me, I knew who he was talking about.  
  
"JaeJoong." I finished for him. "You know, JaeJoong and Yoochun are not that similar. And situation was completely different. You were dating Jae while living with us. Plus, there is me. I want to put this rivalry to an end. And as for your relationship with Yoochun, I'm here, whenever you need me. I trust Yoochun. Not because he's my brother, but because he shows so much affection towards you. I've never seen him like that, I already told you that."  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I nodded and we sat in silence for some time. I didn't know what to say, I just went back to thinking about it all. Junsu's words replaying in my mind, then Yoochun's actions, everything that happened.  
  
"Okay, I'm gonna go now. I have some stuff to do." Junsu said standing up.  
  
"You mean..." I started smiling lightly, but stopped when I realized the real reason of Junsu's leaving.  
  
"Hi."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hi." He replied, barely audible and shifted on the couch, pulling his legs to his chest. He looked like he wanted to disappear. Was talking to me or being around me that bad?  
  
"Are you alright?" I asked, not knowing what to do with myself. I wanted to sit next to him, but I didn't know if that's a good idea. Staying in the same room didn't seem like I good idea either. But that was just something I had to do. I had to make up with him.  
  
"I'm fine." He replied shortly again, like he didn't want to talk, but he continued watching me. I shifted uncomfortably and sat down, across from him.  
  
"Are you sure? Cause you don't look fine. Did you eat?" I asked. I was nervous, I didn't know how to make everything between us alright and it was clear I cared about him too much to ruin any kind of relationship with him.  
  
"I said I'm okay Yoochun. Why do you care anyway?"  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Because I care about you." He replied, slightly shocked that I could ask something like that. I knew he cared. Actually, I heard that a couple of times, but I wasn't sure if I believed it or not. I wanted to believe it.  
  
I didn't say anything, I just buried my head into my legs, pulling them even closer to my chest. I didn't mean to cry, but I couldn't control myself. I wanted more then that. I felt more then that. And I hoped he would feel more as well. I didn't want him to say he cared about me, I wanted him to say he loved me. It hurt already, to feel something so strong and know he doesn't feel the same. I hated moments like this, me showing my weak side. I didn't mind Yoochun seeing it, I just felt... stupid. I sobbed silently until I felt him sitting next to me.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
Sh.it. I panicked, standing up immediately and walking over to sit down next to him. I didn't know what to do, just like I didn't understand why my words made him cry. I hesitated for a moment, but then put my arms around him in attempt of comforting him. I don't know how, but he quickly shifted and returned the hug, moving into my lap and wrapping his legs around my waist, along with his arms that were now around my neck.  
  
"You didn't believe I care about you?" I asked holding him close. I didn't care about him, I loved him. But telling him that would probably freak him out, so it was probably the best for me not to say a thing about love. At least not yet.  
  
He pulled away slightly, enough to look at me. I looked into his eyes and... melted. I never saw such a look on his face. And to think he was giving it to me. Love.  
  
"Yoochun..." he whispered still not breaking eye contact. "Kiss me."  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I wanted to feel it. Is there something more or is it just lust? He was looking at me so strangely... like he was under hypnosis. He was looking at me in awe, completely stunned. Was I imagining things or was it really me that put that look on his face?  
  
"Kiss me." I repeated a bit louder, but still not in my normal voice. I don't know what happened to it, I felt like I don't have enough strength to talk. I couldn't recognize my own voice, it sounded so... needy. "Yoochun, kiss me." I couldn't take it, I felt like I'm gonna break down again if he doesn't kiss me immediately.  
  
I couldn't wait anymore, so I leaned in, but he pulled away slightly.  
  
"Just one kiss?" He asked.  
  
"When it comes to us it's never just one kiss." I breathed out looking from his eyes to his lips.  
  
"No, when it comes to us, it's always just one kiss." He corrected. I sighed and closed my eyes, then nodded.  
  
"Just one kiss." I whispered.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I swallowed nervously and looked at him. I wanted to show everything I felt in that one kiss and I had this ridiculous thought in my mind. Like it's my only chance, one kiss he gave me to put all my emotions into it and show it to him.  
  
I leaned in slowly and pressed my lips against his, not closing my eyes at first. I watched him, he closed his eyes and both his facial expression and the way he kissed me showed me the exact same thing I saw in his eyes just a couple of moments ago.  
  
I felt my heart skip a beat and I closed my eyes finally, wanting to feel everything he has to give me.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
The kiss was amazing. I never felt anything like that, that mixture of feelings, passion, sweetness, need, softness... That kiss had everything. But most of all love. I couldn't believe Yoochun didn't feel it. Cause I did. And feeling him, the way he held me, the way he kissed me. Even the way he looked, yes, I caught a glimpse of him through my eyelashes, Yoochun just radiated it. Reflection of my own feelings.  
  
We pulled apart. I immediately hugged him. That was our one kiss. Just one. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't know where it leaded us, but there was something we both felt and that couldn't be denied.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I left them to make up... and hopefully actually do something." Junsu chuckled and I smiled.  
  
"Yoochun and I have had a bad relationship for years now, but Changmin has feelings for him. I think they were strong even while we dated, let alone now." I replied. As much as I used to be jealous of Yoochun I wanted Changmin to be happy. And I knew Yoochun and I should become friends again, we had to, now that I'm with Junsu. I knew it's not gonna be easy, not at all. I couldn't imagine how he'll react when he finds out. And Yunho. The good thing was that Changmin and Junki were on our side, they'll support us and I could only hope they'll manage to help us with Yoochun and Yunho.  
  
"Yeah, I think he fell hard... he just doesn't want to admit it. Or he admits it, but he's afraid to open to Yoochun." Junsu sighed, sitting down next to me. I smiled and pulled him closer. He settled on my lap, throwing his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder.  
  
"I'm sure they'll get together soon. Who would've tell we would be together and look at us now." I said chuckling.  
  
"I always wanted you." Junsu replied smiling broadly and looking up at me.  
  
"And I will always want you." I replied cheesily and leaned down to kiss him.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I walked into Jae's house. I don't know why I did it, why I came, but I felt like I shouldn't change my habits just because JunKi wanted me to. I missed hanging out with them, I missed coming here every single day, it was my second home and I wanted to act like nothing changed. Well, soon enough it's gonna change. All to better. I was sure.  
  
I walked into the living room, then kitchen and then headed upstairs. There was no one around and it was a bit weird, JunKi was home most of the time. I walked into his room and looked around. Neat freak. Okay, not really, he was still the guy I loved, but hey, his room was so clean, like no one lived here. I walked up to his desk and smiled at some photos of the three of us. Things like that really made me feel like a part of their family. I truly was. And I wanted it to stay like that, I wanted to remain a part of their family, I just wanted to change my relationship with JunKi.  
  
I looked at all the photos, then noticed a drawer, not completely shut and chuckled. How could that happen in this perfect room of Lee JunKi. I reached to shut it, but then something familiar caught my eyes. I opened it and there it was, a picture of me. I smiled taking it. I knew he loved me now, but I didn't expect him to hide pictures of me in his room. I chuckled at the thought, then put it back into the drawer and headed out of JunKi's room.  
  
I stopped in front of Jae's room, hearing voices. I was about to enter, but then heard JaeJoong talking.  
  
"And I will always want you." Who was he talking to? I peeked in and froze.  
  
Park Junsu and JaeJoong... kissing?


	36. Chapter 36

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was shocked. I couldn't make a move or say a thing as I stared at Junsu and JaeJoong making out. I couldn't believe it. JaeJoong with a Park. They pulled apart and I woke up from my thoughts a bit, thinking of what to do. I wanted to just walk in and separate them, maybe even beat Junsu up. But then again, why? Only because of the rivalry? Of course, it wasn't a small thing anymore, but when I think about it, Junsu never did anything bad to any of us. He even defended Jae. Well, it's clear why he did that now.  
  
I still stood frozen to the spot, debating what to do when they started talking again and caught my attention.  
  
"How's JunKi?" Junsu asked, concern obvious in his voice.  
  
"Fine. Well, you know..." JaeJoong replied shrugging. "I know he's my hyung and all, but he's really stupid."  
  
"More like blind. I think Yunho feels something for him. Definitely. I mean, after everything that happened... it's pretty obvious." Junsu said thinking about it.  
  
I sighed. Great. They all realize it, everybody but hyung.  
  
"It's funny how you know JunKi so well... better then me even." JaeJoong laughed softly as he watched Junsu lovingly. I couldn't help but smile. Jae was happy, I haven't seen him like that yet. We've been best friends for such a long time and this is the first time I see JaeJoong's face lit up like that. Who am I to say anything about his relationship with Junsu? He was clearly happy, no rivalry should stand on their way now. I felt strange. Part of me wanted to be against it, but one look at Jae made me feel completely opposite. I wish I could feel the way he's feeling now. I wish I could be happily in love, I wish I could hold JunKi the way Jae is holding Junsu.  
  
I turned away from the door and headed downstairs, out of Jae's house. Wishes do come true. You just have to believe and do something about it. That's what I'm gonna do now. Make my wish come true.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Listen, I have to go now." I said looking at the door of my room, hoping that Yoochun won't come in before I hang up the phone. "Yeah, I know... I know, but you know that I can't, I'll just see you there... I can't make up any more excuses, let alone show there with you." I said. "Of course we'll have time for ourselves tonight... Yeah... I love you." I said and jumped as Yoochun entered the room.  
  
"Who are you talking to?"  
  
"Um... umma." I replied swallowing slightly and hearing JaeJoong chuckle on the phone.  
  
"Oh okay, tell her I love her too." Yoochun said smiling and walked up to my closet, obviously looking for something.  
  
"Yoochun sais he loves you." I said into the phone.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Oh, I bet he does." I laughed shaking my head. "I love him too... for having the hottest brother in whole Korea." I added seductively. I heard some shifting on the other end.  
  
"J... umma..." Junsu said nervously and I could picture him glancing at Yoochun and trying to end the conversation.  
  
"That sounds almost hot, but I would prefer to be appa." I replied chuckling lightly again.  
  
"I have to go." He said finally.  
  
"But we'll finish this later." I said knowing that's what he wanted to say.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Alright baby, I love you."  
  
"Love you too." He replied and I hung up, laying down on my bed and smirking at myself.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
I finally put phone away and looked at Yoochun.  
  
"What are you looking for?" I asked.  
  
"How's this?" he asked showing me a pair of black pants and a white shirt. "And this." He added pulling black velvet jacket from my closet.  
  
"Hey! I wanted to wear that." I pointed and he raised his eyebrow at me as if saying 'well, now you're not'. I had to chuckle. "No I didn't, I'm just messing with you." I said honestly.  
  
"You're acting weird." He said giving me a strange look, then picked up all the clothes and started walking towards the door.  
  
"Thanks." I said sarcastically. "When are we leaving?"  
  
"At 8. Be ready." He replied simply and shut the door behind him.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I glanced at the mirror. This night reminded me so much of that party two months ago and I sighed, hoping it'll end so much better. I smiled at my reflection and fixed my hair before I exited my room and walked into the room next to mine.  
  
"Junsu?" I called looking around and figured he was in the bathroom.  
  
"Coming!" he said and I smiled sitting down on his bed. A minute later he went out of the bathroom and smiled at me.  
  
"Hey handsome! I bet someone's gonna have a hard time keeping his hands off you." I teased checking Junsu out and he blushed lightly.  
  
"Min..." he started. "You look great too, I should be saying the same to you. But that someone might hear me." He laughed.  
  
"Do you think he's ready?" I asked.  
  
"Knowing him, I doubt it. Although he was all like 'we're leaving at 8, be ready...". It’s funny when he tries to play an older brother." He chuckled and shook his head.  
  
"I'm surprised you haven't made any food for tomorrow." I teased.  
  
"Oh come on, you're big boys now. Besides, I don't expect to come home until tomorrow."  
  
"Junsu!" I said widening my eyes. What happened to our innocent baby?  
  
"What? I can have fun, can I?" he asked with those innocent eyes and I smiled.  
  
"Of course, you should have fun. I'll take care of Yoochun."  
  
"I bet." He smirked knowingly and I playfully hit him across his chest, then went out of his room and headed to Yoochun's. He should be ready by now, right?  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I heard the door open and rolled my eyes. Junsu should know better then come check up on me while I'm getting ready. It just slows me down and pi$$es him off.  
  
Grabbing a towel I stepped out of the shower and quickly walked into the room.  
  
"Jun- Changmin..."  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at him, swallowing hard at the sight. Damn, he was so hot, I saw him shirtless before, but seeing him like this, still wet from the shower, with a towel wrapped around him... I just had to stare. I looked up into his face. He was shocked, but only for a moment as his facial expression quickly changed into the lustful one. He gave me his sexiest smirk and came closer, while I stood glued to the spot, just watching him.  
  
"Minnie..." he said softly, I smirked. Hearing him call me Minnie and in such a sweet manner didn't quite match with his appearance and actions. "If you wanted to surprise me by checking up on me you should've just come straight to the bathroom." He said smirking back at me. "Or should I say checking me out?"  
  
I watched him inching closer and instinctively raised up my hand to run it up his chest. "Checking you out..." I repeated enjoying the feeling of his warm skin under my fingertips.  
  
"Yeah, you'd get a better view there." He whispered closing the gap between our bodies and running his hands down my sides before he leaned in to kiss me. I moved my hand up to his hair and the other around his waist, deepening the kiss and moaning softly.  
  
"I think you're wrong." I whispered breaking the kiss and looking into his eyes. "I can get a fine view right here." I added sneaking my hand around his waist and taking his towel off of him, letting it drop between us.  
  
"Min..." he gasped all the time not breaking eye contact with me and I pulled him closer, resting my hand on his hip as I kissed him hungrily. "You're not gonna leave me like this?" he breathed against my lips.  
  
"You know I am." I smirked. "You have to get ready. Junsu is already waiting."  
  
"Min..." he whined desperately.  
  
"Besides, you know... just one kiss..."  
  
"You broke that rule already." He smirked. "And you love it."  
  
"Yoochun..." I started, still not moving my hands off of him. "Just one kiss... for now... you'll get more tonight." I said smirking and moving for the door.  
  
"Oh yeah?" he asked and I looked him over. I bit my lip for a moment, taking in all of his beauty.  
  
"More kisses... yes." I nodded and winked at him before I shut the door behind me.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Jae... I don't want to go." I whined looking up at him from my bed.  
  
"Don't be silly, of course you will go. What kind of a party will that be without the kingka?" he replied scoffing slightly, like I just said the stupidest thing possible.  
  
"I don't even want to be the kingka. I don't know why I became one in the first place." I said burying my head into my pillow. If only I could sleep through this night. I didn't want to see anyone. Especially not him.  
  
"Stop whining, will you?" Jae said pulling my covers off of me and getting on my bed, trying to pull me from it. "Come on, we don't have all day, you should get ready."  
  
"Urgh..." I made a face and shot a glare at Jae. He just glared back and shook his head.  
  
"You know I'm not buying that look. Get your @ss out of that bed before I... I... call Yunho and tell him your secret." He finished smirking evilly and I widened my eyes at him.  
  
"You wouldn't."  
  
"Oh just watch me." He said already grabbing the phone.  
  
"Fine, fine... I'm going." I said standing up and walking into the bathroom.  
  
"Hm... How I haven't thought of it earlier? Good old blackmail..." JaeJoong smirked putting the phone down.  
  
"I heard that!" I yelled already stepping into shower. I could hear him chuckle as he exited my room.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I grabbed my car keys and walked over to the front door, stopping just to look at the mirror. Giving myself a satisfied smile, I walked out of the house. Tonight. Tonight I'm gonna prove that my desire, my and JunKi's desire, is not forbidden.


	37. Chapter 37

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Will you stop looking at me like that? It can't be that bad." JaeJoong said and I just glared at him.  
  
"Another stupid party. Oh, I'll have so much fun." I said sarcastically.  
  
"Come on, Yunho's gonna be here, you know."  
  
"Don't remind me." I muttered frowning slightly.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I sighed and shook my head. My brother was a hopeless case. Well, maybe it'll come to him some day. Sooner would be better then later. I wish Yunho was already here.  
  
"Looking for Junsu?" JunKi asked noticing me looking around.  
  
"Yeah, he should be here already..." I trailed off.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Get a room." I said half laughing half glaring at Yoochun practically throwing himself at Changmin.  
  
"You're just jealous." Yoochun scoffed and I smiled at myself. Oh, if you knew...  
  
"We're here." I said instead and stopped the car. I watched them climb out of it and followed quickly, anxious to see Jae.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
We entered the place. I quickly scanned the room and noticed JaeJoong sitting next to the bar. He turned around and I squeezed Changmin's hand slightly. I felt overprotective and somewhat insecure all of the sudden. Changmin on the other hand just smiled and leaned closer to me.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere you know." He whispered and I smiled back, relaxing slightly, but still looking at JaeJoong. Why is the jerk smiling so brightly? I looked around, thinking that there might be someone else who caught his attention. I was curious, so what? But there was no one other then us. Changmin, Junsu and me. The idiot must have lost his mind. I smirked at the thought and turned to Min.  
  
"Let's take a drink." I said.  
  
"Planning to get me drunk?" he asked raising his eyebrow and I chuckled.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"One kiss rule is still on you know."  
  
"Yeah, we'll see about that." I answered and pulled him with me, to the other side of the room. I turned around, glancing at Junsu. "Are you coming?"  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Umm... no, I'm going to the bathroom... I'll see you guys later." I replied and watched them go away from me, then turned back just to see JaeJoong still staring at me with that silly grin on his face. My sexy boyfriend. I smiled back and moved closer to the bathroom, taking out my cell phone.  
  
"Calling JaeJoong?" a voice asked and I turned away startled.  
  
"Yunho?" I widened my eyes. How did he know?  
  
"Hey Junsu." He replied. I just stared at him weirdly. "Let's talk." He added looking around and pulled me in the room next to the bathroom, not waiting for my answer.  
  
Closing the door behind me he turned back and looked at me. I waited for him to say something.  
  
"I saw you and Jae." He said quietly and I glanced away.  
  
"What do you mean you saw us?"  
  
"I mean I saw you two kissing. In his room. The other day." He replied calmly. I was surprised by his tone, he didn't sound like he was going to beat me up, which was the most logical thing for me to think he would do.  
  
I looked at him and opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it again as I realized I have nothing to say to that.  
  
"Don't look at me like that." He said. "You guys are together, right?"  
  
"I... yes, we are." I replied sighing. He nodded. "Look, I know you might have a problem with that, because of the rivalry and everything. In fact I'm surprised you still haven't started beating me up. Even if you're planning to... I don't care. I have to say this. I've always been against our fighting. Actually, you two fighting with Yoochun. You know I've never been a part of it. At least not voluntarily. No one knew, but I've always been there, somewhere in the middle, being JunKi's best friend. Yeah, I've been best friends with JunKi hyung, ever since the rivalry started. I would talk to him at least once a week, we would meet in that old park we used to play in before we started fighting. I suffered because we weren't friends anymore, I never wanted it to be like this. You just kept pushing, the three of you... you just... it hurt. I don't care what you think about my relationship with JaeJoong now, I don't give a damn, because I'm finally happy. I've always wanted him, I've been in love with him for a long time, watching him and not being able to do a thing to make my dream come true. I always wanted him. And now I finally have him, he's there, with me. We love each other..." I let it all out practically in one breathe, almost afraid that he'll punch me, not letting me to finish what I had to say.  
  
I trailed off finally and widened my eyes at Yunho, when he suddenly started laughing.  
  
"Are you laughing at me?" I asked raising my eyebrow.  
  
"No, no... you just... you haven't heard what I have to say." He said calming down and now smiling brightly at me. "I saw you guys and of course, first thing that came to my mind was to break you apart, but then I saw the way JaeJoong was looking at you. I saw happiness in his eyes, I've never seen him like that. I saw you entering the party tonight, I watched Jae. He's in love with you, you make him happy..." he said and sighed.  
  
"Yunho..." I started, still amazed with what I was hearing.  
  
"I haven't finished." He interrupted me. "I hate to say this, but... I think you were right. We've been stupid. All three of us. Fighting like that. I didn't realize how much effect it had on people around us. Not just you and JunKi, but also Changmin... and some other people. The whole school devided because of us, which is totally ridiculous." He laughed a bit bitterly. "We should've ended it a long time ago. Junsu, let's end it."  
  
I nodded, then realized what he said.  
  
"Wait. What?" I asked.  
  
"Let's end it. It's pointless, we should just make up and be friends again."  
  
"But it's not that simple. You know Yoochun."  
  
"You shouldn't be afraid of Yoochun." He said.  
  
"I'm not..."  
  
"Yes, you are, you worry about what's he gonna say about it, about your relationship with Jae. You shouldn't hide it from him, it's not fair."  
  
"I know, I don't want to hide it either, I want to feel free, to be with Jae for real, not sneaking out and lie about my whereabouts, just to see my boyfriend." I said annoyed.  
  
"Then do something about it."  
  
"Look who's talking." I scoffed slightly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you feel something for JunKi?" I asked. Oh who cares? I can be open like that. Jae and JunKi would probably kill me for doing this, but I couldn't take it anymore. He's been hurting for too long and if someone knows what it's like to live like that it would be me. I had to do something, anything, to make it at least a bit better for JunKi.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I... why?" I replied.  
  
"Because he's in love with you. And I think you feel more then friendship towards him as well." He simply stated. I couldn't believe he's telling me that so openly.  
  
"Junsu... I... maybe you should go meet JaeJoong." I said sighing. He nodded.  
  
"Yeah, you're right." He said. "Thanks Yunho."  
  
"No problem. We're friends now. You're my best friend's boyfriend afterall." I laughed.  
  
"Will you become mine?" he asked raising his eyebrow. I smiled and opened the door, to get out of the room. "Yunho?" I didn't reply.  
  
As I closed the door I heard him say: "I'll take that as a yes."  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You really want to get me drunk?" Changmin said laughing as I poured him more soju.  
  
"No Minnie, what makes you think that?" I asked innocently.  
  
"Stop it." He laughed more and leaned in to kiss me.  
  
"Stopping." I said against his lips as I pulled him closer and moaned into the kiss.  
  
"Yoochun..." he said tugging on my hair slightly.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked.  
  
"Come here." He got up and dragged me to another room. Empty room.  
  
"You could've just said so." I chuckled as he pushed me against the couch and sat on my lap.  
  
"You don't know when to shut up, do you?" he chuckled before attacking me with his lips again.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I knew the way these parties went. People would drink, dance, flirt, make out... have fun. Everyone but me. I knew what was waiting for me, that's why I didn't want to go in the first place. I also knew who was waiting for me, to torture me, without knowing. There he was, across of me, chatting with one of his friends, glancing at me from time to time. I knew I shouldn't let him know I'm watching him, but I couldn't stop my eyes from going back to him every time I glance away.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I nodded, not even listening to the guy talking to me. He was looking at me and I was anxious. I knew I should go over there and do something. But I kept waiting for the right moment... or is it for the right idea, right way of approaching him. I knew I shouldn't hesitate anymore, I shouldn't let this night pass as many more, leaving him and myself desiring something we should've had a long time ago.  
  
So, I inhaled deeply, took a sip of my drink and walked up to him.  
  
"Hyung... hi." I said. Not very confident, but it was a start.  
  
"Hi Yunho." He replied, looking at me for a moment, than going back to his drink.  
  
"Can I talk to you?" I asked.  
  
"I'm listening."  
  
"Not here."  
  
"Okay, where?" he asked putting down his drink and looking back at me again. I took his hand and practically dragged him out of the house. "Where are we going?" he asked.  
  
"You'll see." I said walking up to my car. "Get in."  
  
"Tell me where are we going." He said standing beside the car, but not getting in.  
  
"You don't trust me?"  
  
"Yunho..." he started, but then sighed and got in. I smiled, putting my hand on top of his. He looked at it and then back at me, backing away a bit. I smirked and started the engine.  
  
"I have a surprise for you."


	38. Chapter 38

JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
What the hell is he up to? I couldn't say a thing on our way to that 'surprise' place. I didn't want to look at him, but somehow I would always end up staring at him. He would look back at me every time.  
  
"Watch the road." I said annoyingly and turned my head away from him, to look out of the window.  
  
"I would rather look at you." He replied and I sighed softly. I was tired of this... running away.  
  
I didn't reply. I just moved further away from him and waited for us to arrive to wherever we were heading to.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I had so many plans for tonight, but none of them seemed to be perfect, so I decided to just keep it simple and, well, predictable. I stopped the car in front of my house and looked at JunKi.  
  
"We're here." I said giving him a smile. I knew he didn't want to be here, with me, but I also knew I'll do everything to make him change his mind. I'll do anything to convince him that I love him.  
  
He didn't say anything again, making me slightly worried.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked softly.  
  
"Look, can we just get it over with?" he asked quietly and got out of the car. I sighed and followed him into the house. It's gonna be harder then I thought.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
I entered the house and a strange feeling of peace ran over me, calming me down a bit. I sighed again and went straight into the kitchen. Taking a glass I poured myself some water and drank it quickly. I heard Yunho coming after me.  
  
"Hyung are you alright?" he asked again.  
  
"I'm fine." I said placing the glass down and turning to him. "What did you want to talk about?"  
  
"Not here." He said walking over to me and taking my hand, leading me upstairs. I panicked slightly and hesitated when we stopped in front of his bedroom. He looked at me. "Hyung?" I looked at him strangely, but he just smiled, calming me down again. How did he have such an effect on me? He just needed to give me that smile and I would completely relax, he would look at me with those eyes and I would melt. I'm too weak, too weak for my own good.  
  
Yunho opened the door for me and I walked into his room, adjusting to the dim light and some changes in his room. I haven't been here in such a long time, I missed it. I felt such sadness, even regret. I shouldn't have come. I turned to leave, but Yunho was right behind me and now that I turned I practically ran into him. I looked at him and then down, trying to hide.  
  
"Look at me hyung." He said and I closed my eyes, hoping I'll disappear if I do so. He placed his hands on my arms and pulled me close, embracing me. "I've been wondering why you've been hiding from me. It has been troubling me for such a long time... I just want you to look at me, I told you that so many times before." He said, leading me to his bed and making me sit down.  
  
"What do you have to talk about?" I asked again, as coldly as possible.  
  
"I have something to give to you." He replied and let go of me. He walked up to his desk and took some kind of book, then brought it back to me. He placed it in my lap and kneeled down in front of me, obviously waiting for me to look through it.  
  
The moment it landed on my lap I knew it was a photo album. I glanced at Yunho and then opened it, revealing pictures of the two of us. I went through pages, there were just the two of us, the whole album, I never knew there were so many pictures of us, without JaeJoong. As I flipped the pages I felt like I went through years - from our childhood years until now.  
  
I smiled at the last pictures of us and closed the album. Running my hand over the cover I pushed it to Yunho gently.  
  
"No, it's yours." He said and I smiled again, taking it.  
  
"Thanks Yunho. It... it really means a lot." I replied and moved to get up, but he stopped me.  
  
"That's not all." He said and I sat back down, watching him anxiously and putting the album beside me. I didn't know what he had on his mind tonight. But as much as I wanted to fight him, to run away, I couldn't.  
  
"You know what's your nickname in school?" Yunho suddenly asked me. My nickname? "It's sensitive kingka." He said smirking and I looked down smiling as well. I haven't even payed attention at how emotional I could get. At least not in front of other people. I was always the quiet type, the one that doesn't show off much. I would never let people know what's going on deep inside of me. If Yunho was trying to get to me tonight, it was working.  
  
"Well, yours is tough playboy." I replied smirking.  
  
"I guess they'll have to change it soon." He said sighing slightly.  
  
"What's the matter? Not so tough anymore?" I joked, feeling more at ease now.  
  
"I don't know about that... but I lost the playboy title."  
  
"Why? I heard you broke up with Min Sun."  
  
"I did, but that doesn't mean I'm going back to my playboy-ish ways." He said and smiled at me. I opened my mouth to say something, but he motioned for me to stop asking questions and I realized he still has something to say to me.  
  
He walked up to the nearby table and I smiled seeing another picture of us there. Somehow I don't remember that he had so many memories of me in his room. But then again, I haven't been here for so long. Yunho took a small wrapped box and walked back to me, taking his previous position and handing me the box.  
  
"Yunho?" I asked raising my eyebrow in confusion.  
  
"Midnight passed." He said smiling. "Happy birthday JunKi."  
  
"You... you remembered it." I whispered slightly shocked.  
  
"Of course I remembered. How could I forget such an important date?" he said putting his hands on my knees. "Come on, open it." He said, smiling brightly. I could tell he was excited to see if I liked his gift.  
  
"You didn't have to get me anything." I said unwrapping the box. He remained quiet and I finally opened the box. "Yunho..." I gasped taking the silver necklace out of the box and looking at the key-like pendant. I looked back at him. Is this what I think it is?  
  
"Do you like it?" he asked nervously.  
  
"It's wonderful, Yunho, you really didn't have to..." I said, feeling the tears feeling up my eyes as I fought to hold them back. I wanted him, so bad. I wanted us to be like this. I didn't want to run away anymore, I was tired and miserable. I just wanted him by my side.  
  
"Don't say that, I had to. Especially since this has another meaning to it." He said taking the necklace and putting it around my neck.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked at him. We were so close again, I wanted to control myself for now, but I just couldn't. I leaned in and softly kissed him. He didn't move and I didn't intensify the kiss, I was barely touching his lips with mine and I felt like I'm in heaven.  
  
"Yunho..." he said against my lips and it was a mixture of a moan and protest.  
  
"Don't... please, just for a moment." I replied desperately and kissed him more.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
So I let go. I kissed him back, just as softly and soon he broke the kiss. I looked at him and understood that he needed to talk. He really had something to say now. I smiled at his nervousness. He looked like a little boy all over again and a strange thought crossed my mind. I'm the older one, I'm his hyung. I should say something.  
  
"Yunho... I..." I started.  
  
"I have to tell you something." He interrupted me.  
  
"Okay, but I have to tell you something too." I replied.  
  
"Me first. Please. I just... I wanted to let this out for the past two months." He said and I nodded. "I'm not the best in expressing feelings." He started, looking at me. I didn't want to break that eye contact. "But ever since I started dating with Min Sun I felt like I'm substituting my love for someone else. I tried to pay more attention to her, to spend all my time with her, but eventually she broke up with me and removed that burden I gave to myself. She understood my feelings better then me and helped me accept them."  
  
"These past couple of months... you and me... our relationship changed. I didn't understand why you kept avoiding me, not just my gaze, but also spending time with me. You would always back away leaving me confused, worried and finally, hurt. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but I'm glad you did, because it made me realize my feelings."  
  
"As time was passing by I kept thinking about you more and more... all I could think about and all I could talk about was you. I was afraid of those feelings. Becoming gay was so unlike me, right?" he chuckled and I smiled. I felt butterflies in my stomach because of his story, everything he was telling me was unbelievable. I was afraid I'm gonna wake up from this wonderful dream.  
  
"By the time I could admit it to myself, that I fell in love with my hyung, Min Sun realized it herself. So, I was left alone, to think about you and your feelings. Everything you did made me think you didn’t want me to be around you, let alone with you. Until that night in club." I sighed at his words, remembering it. "You said you loved me." I nearly chocked at that.  
  
"What? I did what?" I asked widening my eyes.  
  
"I don't know how, I guess you were dreaming. But you said you loved me." He replied smiling broadly. I smirked and looked down. Talking in my sleep, way to go. "Hey, come on look at me, I'm not finished yet." He said and I looked back up.  
  
"I just... love you. I'm in love with you and I don't want to fight anymore, to hide anymore, to think this is forbidden or wrong when it feels too good to be so. I want you. It's your birthday today and I know this sounds corny, but maybe this should be the start of a new life for you and me. That key around your neck is the key to my heart. I'm giving it to you."  
  
He finished and left me speechless. I was shocked. The bare thought of Yunho confession to me and the way he did it... it was breathtaking. I started crying.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I watched him cry for a moment and panicked.  
  
"Hyung?" I asked concerned. Maybe I shouldn't have done this, maybe this wasn't what he wanted. Maybe I misunderstood everything again.  
  
"Hyung, are you alright? I'm sorry if I upset you..." I started, but he cut me off with his lips. Pulling me as close as he could he kissed me hungrily and I felt my heart beat like crazy. The wave of happiness hit me and I held onto him as tight as I could.  
  
By the time we finally broke our kiss I was laying on top of him. I smiled down at him and caressed his cheek.  
  
"You wanted to tell me something." I said.  
  
"I love you." He breathed out and I grinned happily. Those words were everything I wanted and needed to hear.  
  
"I love you too." I replied. "Now tell me what you wanted to tell me."  
  
"I wanted to tell you that... I love you." He gave me a silly grin and I laughed.  
  
"Yes, say it again." I said closing my eyes and leaning down to kiss him more.  
  
"I love you." He repeated laughing lightly and kissing me back.  
  
"I love you." I echoed, too many feelings and memories hiding behind those three simple words.  
  
I could understand JaeJoong's feelings, that look on his face. I had what I wanted now. I reached my happiness. Me and JunKi. Together.


	39. Chapter 39

Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Okay, stopping." I said out of breath as I gave him one last kiss and sat back up, on his lap. I looked at him and laughed at his sad expression.  
  
"Don't be such a baby, we're taking it easy." I said smiling brightly. I had to be careful, we weren't exactly together yet, because I wanted to be sure that's what we both want. I couldn't just give in and get hurt in the end. This was the safe way, at least I thought so. As long as we can fight our urges and know how and when to stop we'll be fine. Right?  
  
"I know. But for how long more?" he asked rubbing my thighs gently and making me shiver.  
  
"I don't know." I said honestly and shifted slightly. "Don't do that."  
  
"Why not? It turns you on?" he smirked and moved his hands further up my thighs.  
  
"Yoochun..." I breathed looking down at him.  
  
"It still doesn't mean anything... at least according to you." He replied, lightly touching my inner thigh and I jumped slightly, causing him to smirk again. "Come on Minnie, you clearly want this too."  
  
"Urgh... no..." I practically moaned.  
  
"Are you sure? You don't seem like it." He teased me moving his hand up. "And you certainly don't look like it." He added and I followed his gaze, looking down at my lap.  
  
"Yoochun." I blushed insanely and he chuckled.  
  
"Now would be a perfect time for me to leave you." He said giving me an evil look. I swallowed hard at the thought and gave him a pleading look. "Oh come on, don't look at me like that. You did the same thing too many times already. It would just be a payback."  
  
"Hyung..." I let out a small whine and moved closer to him, laying back down and resting my chin on his chest. "Please." I whispered and kissed him. I hoped it would work.  
  
"You're such a tease." He said in between kisses as he shook his head, but sneaked his hand in between us nonetheless. I sighed contently as he touched me and smiled sheepishly at his words as another blush covered my face. I was embarrassed, but at the same time it felt so good to be like this with Yoochun. Not just the contact, the desire, but just because it was him. Everything he did, everything we did together meant more.  
  
"I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me." He whispered, but chuckled anyway. "I mean, after everything that happened you should do something for me, not the other way around." He teased.  
  
"And you're calling me a tease?" I answered, running out of breath again. "You're enjoying it too."  
  
"Sadly, I do. So much." He replied before he kissed me again.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled at the bartender as he put another bottle of soju in front of me. I took another sip and quickly put my drink down as I felt arms around me. I turned around quickly expecting some crazy fangirl or one of my friends messing with me, but Junsu stood there, grinning at me.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked looking around nervously. He would always be extra careful when we were in public, but if he drank a bit tonight who knew what could happen.  
  
"What does it look like? Hugging my boyfriend." He said smiling and ran his hand along my waist, slightly lowering it.  
  
"But someone will see us." I said.  
  
"Come on, let's dance." He said suddenly, completely ignoring what I said. I couldn't fight it, he looked so damn hot, I wanted to dance with him. So I followed him to the dance floor.  
  
"You think this is a good idea?" I asked once we were there and he happily started dancing against me.  
  
"Jae, we're together, there's nothing wrong with that." He said nonchalantly and I just watched him.  
  
"I know we're together, but other people don't." I said quickly, in a small voice, but he was so close, I knew he was able to hear me.  
  
"So? Maybe it's time for them to find out." He said and with that song changed into a slow one. Junsu put his arms around me and I followed his lead, wrapping my arms around his waist.  
  
"You're not serious?" I asked looking into his eyes.  
  
"You keep fighting it and here you're dancing with me. You can't resist it, right?" he whispered into my ear and then licked it slowly.  
  
"Urgh... Su..." I breathed.  
  
"Relax..." he whispered again, moving his hands up into my hair and stepping closer. "You know what would be hot?"  
  
"Finding an empty room in this house? I heard there's plenty." I asked hoping that's what he had in mind. I didn't have a problem with people seeing us, but maybe we were rushing things. I was happy with him and him alone. I didn't need anyone else.  
  
"As tempting as that sounds I think my idea is better." He whispered again. Why did he have to sound so sexy. "How about... making love on the dance floor?"  
  
I almost choked. I quickly looked at him and widened my eyes swallowing quickly.  
  
"Junsu..."  
  
"Relax baby, as tempting as it sounds I won't do it here." He chuckled softly, but pulled me closer anyway. "I need you so bad though." He whispered again. And I shivered again.  
  
"Damn it Su." I cursed under my breath. "I want you."  
  
"Show me." He said pulling away and looking at me.  
  
"W-what?" I stuttered.  
  
"Show me how much you want me." He said. "Kiss me."  
  
"Here?" I asked. "But people."  
  
"Forget about people." He growled.  
  
"And Yoochun?" I asked carefully. I knew Yoochun was actually the only obstacle in revealing our relationship. But it seemed like Junsu would forget that from time to time. Like now.  
  
"Who cares about Yoochun... I don't want to hide anymore. Screw everybody." He breathed out and I pulled him closer.  
  
"Oh, but you're the only one I want to screw." I said slyly and he chuckled.  
  
"Just kiss me." He repeated and I instantly pressed my lips against his, pulling him as close as I could. The kiss became really heated in no time and I had to control myself from stripping him right there.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
There were only the two of us, it felt amazing. I've never felt like that before. I could faintly hear gasps and see people pointing at us. I could sense the commotion we caused, but I didn't care and I could tell Jae didn't either. He was gorgeous, standing there and smiling at me between the kisses. I smiled back, not wanting to look anywhere else.  
  
He kissed me again and after we parted I just snuggled into him, not carrying about the fact that another fast song came along. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, truly happy. That is, until I heard a familiar voice.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"You know you owe me." I teased as I exited the room.  
  
"What? You loved it." Changmin replied smirking slightly, but not looking back at me. I smiled as well. I couldn't object that. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked looking straight ahead, so I looked as well. There was a crowd right in front of us, so I assumed there's something interesting going on. Well, duh, Changmin practically stated it just a moment ago.  
  
I shrugged and walked over to the crowd, making my way through it. Surprisingly people just moved out of my way, like they were somewhat afraid. I eyed them suspiciously, but shrugged the freaky feeling off and looked at the centre of everyone's attention.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Oh sh.it. I looked from Junsu and JaeJoong to Yoochun, not knowing what to do. I stood, glued to the floor, afraid of ruining the extremely peaceful moment. I had the feeling that I should cherish it. Although I knew it's ridiculous, I couldn't possibly stop Yoochun from exploding. By the look on his face I could expect that any moment now.  
  
He was shocked, than started shaking his head, as if he was in denial. Junsu and JaeJoong stopped their make out session and embraced each other, but I knew their happy peace won't last long. I couldn't help but feel bad.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What the f*ck?!" I heard someone scream, so I opened my eyes and gasped as I saw Yoochun. Junsu quickly turned his head to look at his brother, than turned his whole body, breaking our embrace, but didn't move away from me.  
  
It looked like no one knew what to say then. I Yoochun was glaring from me to Junsu and I could see he was getting angrier with every second. Junsu was looking back at him somewhat showing of, daring almost. I knew he was afraid of his brother's reaction though, he was doing everything to hide that, but he couldn't fool me. I looked at Changmin, who had this panicked expression on his face. Poor Min, always getting in the middle of this mess. I gave him a small reassuring smile and then looked back at Yoochun, who seemed pretty ready to kill me.  
  
"Dare to explain, Junsu?" he gritted through his teeth, looking back at his brother.  
  
"You're making a scene." I heard Changmin whisper to Yoochun.  
  
"I don't care." He barked back and Min retreated, looking down. I could see he wanted to help us, but we all knew there was nothing he could do.  
  
"JaeJoong and I are dating." I heard Junsu speaking. I looked at him, shocked with his calmed voice. He looked back at me and gave me a genuine smile, the one I couldn't resist. I had to smile back.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
What did he say? Him and that bastard are dating? What the hell?  
  
"What?" I asked again.  
  
"Your brother and I, we're together." JaeJoong spoke this time.  
  
"I wasn't talking to you." I said. I didn't know what to say. I felt like someone just punched me in the stomach. I felt anger boil inside of me and it was just a matter of time when it'll erupt. And then it happened.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I screamed at Junsu. "How could you? With Kim-the-jerk? Our rival, all these years, after everything that happened, after everything he did to me, to you. You forgot how it all started? You forgot how this bastard punched you and the whole fighting just continued from there. Ten years of hatred and you go for him?" I couldn't stop myself.  
  
"I never ever hated him." Junsu said simply. I widened my eyes at him again. I had the feeling they'll pop out of my head any moment now. "It was all you, your rivalry, your fights, your pride. Parks vs Kim/Jung. I was always against it. I was always trying to stop you, to bring some sense into that thick head of yours. You're the one who forgot Yoochun, not me. You forgot our friendship, you forgot the years before all the cr.ap started. Friends we all used to be."  
  
"We've never been friends, that's what I realized. Friends wouldn't hurt you, wouldn't..."  
  
"God, we were seven." Junsu cut me off rolling his eyes. "Stupid childhood game, misunderstanding, ridiculous reason for you to start something that leaded us here. Ten years of hatred you say. Your hatred, not mine." He said.  
  
It hit me then. My hatred, not his. That means...  
  
"Oh god... that's why you would always defend him, you would protect him from me, your own brother. Crying in your sleep... it was all because of him? Because of that bastard? God, I can't believe this..." I shook my head. "Don't tell me he was the reason of your coming home late once a week for those past years."  
  
"Oh that... no, that would be JunKi hyung." JunKi? JaeJoong's brother? The kingka? "But yes, everything else you said was true. It was all because of JaeJoong." He said proudly, making me feel disgusted. I felt like throwing up, I was sick of this. Of the bare image of the two of them. "I love him Yoochun, I don't care what you think about it, you can't do anything to change that. I'm in love with Kim JaeJoong. God, it feels so good to say it finally."  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
I listened to him in awe. His words were making my heart beat faster and I just wanted to grab him and disappear. Away from this crowd, from all these people, from Yoochun. I wanted him, I needed him.  
  
"I love you too." I said to him as I put my arms around him again, enjoying the feeling of him against me. I looked at him lovingly, then back at Yoochun. I could see that his wish to kill me only increased, but that left me completely emotionless. Being with Junsu, having him, was the best thing that has ever happened to me and that was all I ever needed. I was happy.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I think I'm gonna be sick." I muttered. I watched the two of them. I felt betrayed. My own brother. JaeJoong took Changmin away from me first, but at that moment Changmin was no one to me, it didn't matter. It did matter, but not as much. But now, he went for my brother. He just wasn't good enough for him. But if Junsu wanted it, if he was stupid enough to be with him...  
  
"I don't want to see you. Don't come home." I said.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What?" I said swallowing hard.  
  
"You heard me. I can't look at you right now. My brother wouldn't do something like that to me. Don't come back home." He said quietly. It was scarier then any of his furious states. I shivered as I felt a single tear run down my cheek.


	40. Chapter 40

Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
I felt JunKi embracing me from behind and kissing my shoulder and smiled. I turned around, pulling him into my arms and opened my eyes to look at him.  
  
"Good morning." He said smiling and I smiled back.  
  
"Good morning." I replied and kissed him. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Actually, I hardly slept." He replied.  
  
"What? Why?" I asked concerned.  
  
"I was too busy watching you sleep." He replied smiling shyly and looked away. I grinned.  
  
"You should sleep now, so I could watch you." I said and he laughed.  
  
"We're such dorks." He said.  
  
"Yes, we are. But I love being a dork as long as I'm with you." I replied.  
  
"Yunho..." he whispered and kissed me. "I made you a breakfast."  
  
"Again? You spoiled me while I was nothing more then Jae's best friend and now you're gonna spoil me even more." I said.  
  
"You were always more then just Jae's friend to me." He replied.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I made you wait for me for such a long time." I looked down.  
  
"Don't be sorry, I'm not. I'm so happy right now, nothing else matters." He said, hugging me and I smiled, kissing his forehead. "Are you hungry?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah." I nodded and chuckled. "It's not surprising really..." I added remembering the previous night. He just chuckled naughtily in response.  
  
"Let's go then." He said getting up and pulling me with him.  
  
"I wanna take a shower." I said.  
  
"We'll take care of it later. I'm starving."  
  
"We?" I asked raising my eyebrow.  
  
"Of course. I'm not letting you go anywhere without me now." He laughed.  
  
"That actually sounds weird and possessive, but sweet. I love it."  
  
"I knew you will." He chuckled again as we entered the kitchen.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I stormed into my room. I couldn't believe Yoochun did it. I wanted to talk to him, to help him realize that what he did was wrong, it was awful. But I was too pi$$ed at both him and me. I should've done something, not just stand there and watch. I sighed in frustration and sat down on my bed. After some time I heard Yoochun yell angrily in his room. I shook my head as silence filled the house once again.  
  
  
JaeJoong's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Are you alright baby?" I asked softly as I handed Junsu a glass of water. He was sitting on my bed, looking really miserable. He didn't cry anymore. Well, I would be surprised if he did, I've never seen anyone cry that much. Hours passed. I knew I couldn't do anything but hold him, in lame attempt of comfort.  
  
He nodded silently and sighed before he took a couple of sips, then put the glass away. I sat down next to him and he immediately leaned on me.  
  
"I don't know what to do." He whispered. "Jae, I don't want him to hate me."  
  
"He can't hate you, you're his brother. You didn't do anything wrong. It's his fault, he should be happy seeing you happy." I said.  
  
"I don't know how to fix this. Why does he have to be so stubborn?" he asked and suddenly I felt guilty and a bit hurt.  
  
"Do you think... are you regretting this?" I asked in a small voice, afraid of his answer.  
  
"What? No, no Jae." He answered quickly, looking up at me. "God, don't you ever think that. I could never regret being with you. I love you." He said. I smiled in relief.  
  
"I love you too." I replied holding him tight.  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
We walked into my house. Yunho was holding my hand and I had this stupid grin on my face.  
  
"Jae!" I called checking the rooms, but couldn't find him. We went upstairs, and there he was, walking out of his room. He looked awful.  
  
"Jae, what happened?" Yunho was faster then me. JaeJoong looked at us and smiled a bit, his eyes resting on our hands. I blushed.  
  
"Finally guys..." he said smirking a bit and Yunho grinned at him.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked noticing his expression change back to a troubled one.  
  
"Jae..." a voice came from his room. Junsu.  
  
JaeJoong looked nervously from me to Yunho and I froze. Yunho didn't know about JaeJoong and Junsu. I totally forgot about the possibility of Junsu spending the night here. How could I be so stupid?  
  
"Is that Junsu?" Yunho asked and I looked at him weirdly. He sounded so calm... making me wonder.  
  
"Umm... Jun-Junsu?" JaeJoong asked nervously. I didn't dare to open my mouth.  
  
Yunho ignored him and went straight into his room, letting go of me in the process. JaeJoong gave me a panicked look, but it was too late. I couldn't do anything.  
  
"Yunho." Junsu said sitting up in Jae's bed. "I-I... Yoochun saw us." He said and I gasped looking back at JaeJoong. He shook his head and looked down. I sighed and looked back at Junsu, but widened my eyes as I saw Yunho hugging him.  
  
"What is going on here?" I asked shocked, causing JaeJoong to look up and stare at the two of them as well.  
  
"Yunho found out about us... he didn't have a problem with it, so I... I foolishly thought Yoochun won't mind either." Junsu sighed looking down and pulling away from Yunho.  
  
I walked up to him and sat down next to Yunho.  
  
"He threw me out." Junsu added.  
  
"He what?" Yunho practically yelled and I squeezed his hand.  
  
"I'm sorry Junsu." I said. "You're staying with us... I'm sure he'll come to his senses soon. In the meantime you have us. You'll always have us."  
  
"Thanks hyung." He whispered and hugged me and I smiled, looking at Jae and Yunho over his shoulder. Yunho patted Junsu's back soothingly and Jae smiled back at me, mouthing 'thank you'. He didn’t have to thank me. This was my best friend, a person I will always be there for, just like he was always there for me.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
A couple of days passed. Most of the time I would spend at my room, avoiding Changmin. He tried to talk to me a couple of times, but I just needed some time alone. Going to school was everything but helpful, since I would constantly look at Junsu and JaeJoong, JunKi and Yunho. They were a little happy crowd, I felt like my brother has been stolen from me. Changmin stayed by my side, although I knew he was meeting with them, talking with them about the whole situation, about me. I knew that practically the whole school hated me now, they were all supporting Junsu and JaeJoong - new dream couple. I didn't care. I didn't need anyone.  
  
Umma called. Junsu called her and told her everything that happened, I didn't knew he'd have the guts to come out of the closet, but then again, I don't think he had a choice. He could never lie to her, he would just not tell some things. Like him being gay. This time he couldn't hide it anymore. He had to say I kicked him out of the house and he's living with his precious boyfriend now. Of course, umma took his side and called me to tell me to make up, to bring him back home. I can't do it. Not yet anyway. I just want everyone to leave me alone.  
  
I walked back home tonight, I had a couple of drinks, but I wasn't quite drunk. I needed to think about everything and the more I thought the bigger urge to get drunk was. However, something inside of me was telling me to stop. Even drinking didn't seem like a good enough comfort.  
  
I walked into the house and practically ran into Changmin. In any other situation I would be happy to see him, but not tonight. I glanced at him and walked passed him, but he grabbed my wrist.  
  
"We have to talk." He said calmly.  
  
"No, we don't." I replied and pulled my hand from his grasp, going upstairs as quickly as possible. I didn't expect him to follow me, he never did. But this time, I was wrong.  
  
I walked into my room, but before I could slam my door shut he stopped me and walked in as well.  
  
"You'll listen to me Yoochun." He said firmly and I looked at him slightly surprised. I've never seen him like this. He would always try and retreat, calculating, waiting for the right moment. He would always use a soft approach, never losing his temper, always acting patiently. Tonight he looked anxious and a bit mad. I just stood there, watching him.  
  
"I don't want to." I replied after a couple of moments and turned around.  
  
"You will. I don't care if you don't want to. Who asked you anything anyway?" he said raising his voice slightly. "I'm sick of this, of you trying to shut everyone out of your life. Of your stupid stubbornness. We always do everything you want us to do. You wanted Junsu out of the house, he left. He doesn't even talk to you because you said so. I want to help you, you don't let me. How many times I tried to talk to you since that night and you always pushed me away. I never said a thing. Well, that's it. I'm gonna say everything tonight even if you don't want to hear it."  
  
I turned around to look at him. He was furious. I never knew Changmin could be furious. We would get in a fight here and there, but he never came to this point. I guess I tested him too much. Did I went too far?  
  
"Junsu and JaeJoong love each other. You can grimace as much as you want, but that's the truth and there's nothing you can do about it. There's nothing you should do about it. Junsu is in love with him, he's been for so long, I'm surprised you haven't noticed it. Even I noticed it. It was so obvious."  
  
"You knew it all along." I muttered. I couldn't believe everyone has been lying to me. Even Changmin, who was supposed to be some kind of a boyfriend to me. Okay, we weren't officially dating, but I thought I mean something more to him. I thought he wouldn't keep secrets from me, especially not something like this.  
  
"I knew. And JunKi knew. Junsu and JunKi have been best friends ever since rivalry started. The two of them told me everything about it in the first place. It's funny how the only person who was always there for Junsu wasn't you, his hyung, but JunKi. He was the one who knew all his secrets, the one Junsu would turn to when he had some problem. You never did anything to make Junsu open up to you. After all the fighting, being stubborn about that rivalry, keeping up with it you expected for him to tell you his feelings? To turn to you and tell you his biggest secret? He was suffering so much and you haven't even seen it."  
  
I listened to him. God, why did he have to be so right. I knew I was wrong. Deep down I knew. I couldn't admit it yet though. It hurt so bad.  
  
"I know it hurts Yoochun. Stop it already. Stop it, the whole thing. Rivalry. You're hurting everyone, including yourself." He said.  
  
"I don't want to. JaeJoong is not good enough for him, he'll realize it some day, he will, I know it. I can't accept it." I yelled.  
  
"JaeJoong is great, he loves him. Damn it, you're so... so... stupid! How can you not see it? They're so deeply in love with each other. Junsu is with him now, I saw them. JaeJoong does everything to make him feel good, to make him feel loved. For the first time in years Junsu is happy." He said. I shook my head. "JaeJoong is good enough for him, he really is. No one knows what a great person Jae is better then me."  
  
I shot him a look. Damn, that hurt. That hurt more than anything. How could he say something like that to me? Knowing everything I went through because of that precious JaeJoong of his.  
  
"You defend him so much." I muttered, feeling myself ready to explode. "If he's so damn good, if he's so perfect, then why did you break up with him in the first place?" I yelled.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
Jealousy all over again. I couldn't take it anymore. I was furious.  
  
"You idiot!" I screamed back. "You're such a jerk. You wanna know why I broke up with him? Do you? I f*cking broke up with him because I realized I fell for you." I blurted out, then put my hand over my mouth quickly as I realized what I said. I widened my eyes in shock, staring straight at him for a moment. I headed for the door.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't know what I was feeling anymore, everything was a mess. I was only sure of the moment of pure happiness that washed over me as I stared back at him. I froze, not showing any emotion for a moment. He turned around and started walking out of my room. I had to stop him.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I had to get out of there. I had to run away. I felt tears already streaming down my face. That's when I heard it.  
  
"I love you."


	41. Chapter 41

Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
"What?" Changmin asked turning around and looking at me. I inhaled deeply and looked into his eyes. Here it goes.  
  
"I love you." I repeated, hoping he'll see all the honesty hiding deep behind my words.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
I was looking at him for a couple of moments. He was telling me the truth, those words I wanted to hear so bad, I wanted to hear them from him and now it happened. I walked back to him and hugged him.  
  
"I love you too." I whispered holding him tight and smiled as he hugged me back burying his face into my shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." He replied. "I've been such an idiot. For such a long time."  
  
I smirked and pulled away to look at him and leaned in to kiss him. The sensation, the feeling sent million butterflies into my stomach as I released all my love for the first time. And I felt him responding just as freely.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I knew he was completely right and I finally let myself believe him. Also myself, my inner feeling. I knew how wrong I was, how stupid. I knew everything.  
  
We pulled apart and Changmin looked at me.  
  
"You shouldn't be telling me this." He said. I looked down.  
  
"I know... I don't know how to face him. Them." I said in a small voice.  
  
"It's gonna be alright." He replied raising his hand to caress my cheek. "I'll be there with you."  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I'll get it!" I yelled, walking over to open the door. I didn't know why I bother saying that since no one would get their @ss to open it in the first place. They always relied on me... That's right, hyung will get it.  
  
I smiled opening the door, expecting to see Changmin, but then widened my eyes as I came face to face with Yoochun.  
  
"JunKi... hi." He said quietly. I could see he was nervous and I couldn't blame him.  
  
"Hi." I replied a bit unsure.  
  
"Is Junsu... home?" he asked.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
It was weird to say that, but at the moment I knew this place was his home, a lot more then it was our house. I knew he was feeling that. JunKi nodded and let me inside, then greeted Changmin who was right behind me. I felt better knowing he's by my side, I felt strong. I could do this.  
  
"He's upstairs. In Jae's room." JunKi said. "You know where it is, right?" I nodded. I still remembered. It was weird coming back here. Everything was weird, but I guess that was my fault too.  
  
I walked upstairs slowly, slightly afraid of what was waiting for me. Was he too mad at me, would he want to see me, talk to me? I sighed as I reached the door to JaeJoong's room and then knocked on it. Lightly, but firmly.  
  
JaeJoong opened the door. We stared at each other for a brief moment.  
  
"Hi." I said slightly stiffly, but he gave me a small smile.  
  
"Hi." He answered and then looked back at Junsu. I glanced at him as well and he looked surprised, but then nodded to JaeJoong.  
  
"I... I'll leave you guys." Jae said uncertainly, still looking at Junsu, as if asking if it was okay. I could see everything Changmin was talking about. That... love... between the two of them. Making me feel even worse. How could I do this to my little dongsaeng?  
  
JaeJoong left the room quietly and I took a few steps towards Junsu, who glanced away from me, with a slight look of... fear? Was he truly afraid of his hyung?  
  
"Junsu..." I started. "I... I'm sorry." I said. It was so hard to say it, admit how wrong I was. "I was stupid to keep up with this thing. I was selfish, I never thought of you. I've been thinking a lot these past couple of days and I realized that I don't really know you, otherwise I wouldn't make you suffer like this." I rambled. I didn't prepare some sort of speech or anything, I didn't need it. I knew that I should just say what I feel and he'll understand me. We were brothers afterall.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
It was hard for me to see him. I didn't want to let him get away with everything that happened, but I couldn't fight the love I felt for him. I loved him so much, my hyung. I knew he always protected me, everything he did was because he wanted me to be alright. We lived alone, he was responsible for me in a way and I understood him perfectly. He didn't understand I wasn't a baby anymore. I didn't need his protection. But I also knew that no matter how old I was I'll always be his little dongsaeng, someone he'll always feel the need to protect. Actually, that was one more reason to love him.  
  
I looked at him and gave a small smile. He was never good at expressing his feelings, he was never good in putting them into words. He didn't have to say anything, I got it all by just glancing at him. I knew this was extremely hard for him and I just wanted to make it easier.  
  
"I know Yoochun, I know." I said standing up. "I just want you to know that I love JaeJoong. Do you understand that?" I asked.  
  
"I know, I can see that now." He replied smirking lightly. I guess he felt dumb for not seeing it earlier. I stepped forward and hugged him. I heard him exhale in relief and I smiled.  
  
"Thank you." He said hugging me back.  
  
"I love you hyung." I said.  
  
"I love you too." He replied and I chuckled.  
  
"When did you become so emotional?" I teased. He always was, he was just pretending all the time. Putting on his mask.  
  
"Hey!" he said pushing me away lightly and I laughed. He shook his head and grinned. "Now... I have to get to know that boyfriend of yours better."  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hey, sleepy head, get up and help me, will you?" I asked pulling the covers off from Yunho and leaning down to tickle him.  
  
"Stop!" he managed to say as he laughed and suddenly sat up. "You call this waking up?" he asked pretending to be offended. "Some boyfriend you are..." he glared at me and I leaned down pouting.  
  
"Come on, baby, kiss me." I whispered and he willingly obeyed, pulling me down to lay on top of him.  
  
"Can't we stay like this?" he asked as I pulled away. He held onto me tightly, not letting me get up. I laughed.  
  
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm with such a whiny brat." I mocked trying to get up, but he was so strong. "We have to get up." I said getting serious again and it was his time to give me a pout. "Don't give me that look, you know we have to." I said and he released me finally. "We'll have some fun later." I added smirking naughtily and I could see his eyes lit up as he quickly got up. Works every time.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Hurry up!" Jae yelled from the bathroom and I smirked. Typical. He wasn't done and he was telling me to hurry up.  
  
"I'm the one waiting for you, remember?" I said sitting on the couch and glancing at the watch at the same time. "We'll be late... again." I muttered shaking my head, but then chuckled. I guess guys already got used to that.  
  
"Okay, let's go." He quickly went out of the bathroom, grabbed the keys and went straight out of the house. "I told you to hurry up!" he yelled. Aish...  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Yunho, open the door!" I yelled taking some stuff out of the fridge and smiling slightly. Finally, someone other then me taking care of the door. I loved to boss around, so what? I was the oldest anyway.  
  
I heard voices in the hallway and smiled again, walking out of the kitchen.  
  
"Hyung!" I heard Junsu and soon he hugged me. I smiled and then moved to hug my little dongsaeng as well.  
  
"Okay, I'm going to kitchen with hyung." Junsu said happily and already skipped to kitchen.  
  
"Of course." JaeJoong said shaking his head and then proceeded to the living room with Yunho. I went to join Junsu.  
  
  
Changmin's P.O.V.  
  
  
"I thought you'll get up earlier." I said walking out of the bathroom quickly, to let Yoochun in.  
  
"Min, you know me. How could you expect something like that?" he said closing the door of the bathroom. I could already hear him turning on the water. Suddenly he opened the door and grinned. "Besides, I thought you'll wait for me."  
  
I grinned back, knowing what that meant and quickly stripped, following him into the bathroom.  
  
  
Yunho's P.O.V.  
  
  
"They're here!" I called and JunKi and Junsu went out of the kitchen.  
  
"Late as usual." Junsu muttered shaking his head.  
  
"Oh like you don't know what they were doing." JaeJoong chuckled and Junsu widened his eyes at his boyfriend.  
  
"That's my brother you're talking about!" he said.  
  
"And that's my brother over there." JaeJoong replied pointing at JunKi. "And yet you talk about him and Yunho in the same way."  
  
I looked at Junsu along with JunKi, who blushed insanely.  
  
"Don't listen to him guys." Junsu said blushing as well and chuckling slightly, then glared at Jae mouthing 'you're dead'.  
  
"I told you to hurry up, Jae and Junsu came first. Again." I heard Changmin say from the door, interrupting a slightly awkward situation.  
  
"Well, sorry, it wasn't my idea to move it to the bed after shower." Yoochun replied quietly, but we still heard him. Junsu opened his mouth in shock and I chuckled at his expression.  
  
"Fighting as always." JunKi sighed and shook his head laughing a bit. "They'll always remain babies."  
  
"Babies my @ss." JaeJoong muttered.  
  
"Changmin has never been a baby." I said.  
  
"And Yoochun was?" Jae asked laughing.  
  
"Good point." I nodded and smiled broadly as they finally entered the living room. It took them so long I was sure they had a little encounter in the hallway. We knew not to disturb them, so we stayed in living room.  
  
I glanced at JunKi who walked up to me and took my hand. I smiled, he was always comfortable when all of us were together, he would call it a family gathering. I leaned down and kissed him lightly, then turned to our friends.  
  
  
Junsu's P.O.V.  
  
  
"Micky and Minnie." JaeJoong chuckled. Ever since they came back from America they gave themselves those nicknames. Actually, Micky takes all the credit for that. Changmin wasn't so thrilled about his.  
  
"Stop calling me Minnie." Changmin said hitting him lightly across the chest.  
  
"I did call you that once." JaeJoong laughed and Changmin widened his eyes.  
  
"Jae!" he said and quickly put his arms around Yoochun, pouting.  
  
"I'm kidding, okay?" Jae laughed and it was my turn to hit him. However he caught my hand and pulled me into a kiss.  
  
"Jae..." I whispered surprised, but he winked at me and I smiled looking at our friends who were grinning like crazy. "Stop it guys." I blushed and looked away.  
  
"Anyway, as I was saying..." Yoochun started.  
  
"You weren't saying anything." Changmin cut him off.  
  
"Well, I'm about to." He replied looking at him and then back at us. "I'm the only one allowed to call Changmin Minnie. Got it?"  
  
"Possessive again, aren't we?" I scoffed, receiving a glare from my brother.  
  
"I guess that nickname suites him though." JaeJoong added.  
  
"What does that..." Yoochun started, but got cut off again.  
  
"Hey! I'm the man in our relationship!" Changmin said quickly. We all turned our eyes at him.  
  
"What?" JaeJoong blurted out.  
  
"Umm... well..." Changmin shifted glancing at Yoochun, who in return chuckled.  
  
"Yeah... well..." he said still smiling stupidly.  
  
"Are you saying Micky is Minnie?" JunKi asked raising his eyebrow. That was it, we all started laughing.  
  
"I'm Minnie sometimes too." Changmin defended again.  
  
"Oh guys... you never stop surprising me." Yunho said. "I'll get you drinks, I have the feeling we'll need it. The party just started."  
  
  
JunKi's P.O.V.  
  
  
"So, how's umma?" Junsu asked as we finished our meal and moved to the living room.  
  
"She's fine." Yoochun replied. "And she told you to come over with Jae soon. She misses you. JaeJoong I mean." Junsu laughed shaking his head and glanced at JaeJoong.  
  
"I'll call her tomorrow." Jae replied. We all laughed.  
  
"Don't you feel like married couple already?" Yunho teased the two of them.  
  
"Happily married, yes. Don't you?" Jae replied and I grinned, squeezing Yunho's hand.  
  
"Always." Yunho grinned looking back at me. I felt butterflies, the same ones I felt when he first told me he loved me.  
  
"Hey! We're the happiest couple here." Changmin said.  
  
"Just because you're all over each other 24/7 doesn't make you the happiest couple." Junsu smirked.  
  
"How would you know?" Yoochun asked. "You should try it, our lifestyle. I bet it'll just increase your love."  
  
"You know nothing Minnie." Jae laughed putting his arms around Junsu.  
  
"Guys, isn't it great how we're actually fighting about who's the happiest couple?" I suddenly asked. It just hit me. We were made for each other. All of us, just like this. Three perfect relationships... well, as perfect as you could get. We were in love, surrounded with great friends, happy.  
  
"You're right." Junsu agreed. My best friend, always agreeing with me.  
  
  
YunHo's P.O.V.  
  
  
I smiled hugging JunKi. He was absolutely right. We were one happy bunch.  
  
I looked at Yoochun and Changmin. It always amazed me, their relationship. After five years, they were still acting like they became a couple yesterday. So much desire, lust, I bet they could make out and have sex all the time. Of course, there was much more then that, they were so in love. You'd never tell, but Yoochun adored Changmin, he truly acted like he was the most precious thing to him. Always giving him attention. The rest of us could only watch the two of them.  
  
JaeJoong and Junsu were different. They were more like an old couple. Always showing affection towards each other, but not so openly. An understanding glance, holding hands, lovingly looking at each other. That was it. There was so much behind all those gestures, but they would leave it to the privacy of their own bedroom. In our eyes they remained as innocent as they were in the beginning of their relationship. Well, if you forget that party...  
  
Me and JunKi... I don't know how others looked at us. JunKi was everybody's hyung, still taking care of everyone. I was hyung's boyfriend. Of course, I was more then that. I was their friend. And the happiest man alive. I wasn't afraid to show it, JunKi would hesitate when we were in public, only because he was too shy to express his feelings in front of other people. But people would often say that they could feel the love between us. It made me even happier. I wanted to show it to everyone, to share that happiness. Hoping it'll spread around.  
  
  
Yoochun's P.O.V.  
  
  
I looked around, at my friends. After fifteen years we were in the same house, hanging out, just like we should be. Time passed, but we remained the same. I didn't regret a single moment in our past, good or bad, they leaded us to present. Everything that happened just made us realize how important we are to each other, how precious is everything we have, everything we ever shared and will share together. JunKi and Yunho, JaeJoong and Junsu, Changmin and I... we all are one big family now. We're tied so tightly and we're happy to be like that.  
  
I raised my glass finally. They all looked at me smiling. They knew me too well, sensitive Yoochun, taking off his mask again. Only around them and for them, because they were only people I would ever let see that side of me.  
  
"For us, for our friendship, our love, our family and our happiness." I said simply and they all followed. I took a sip and turned to Min. Happily, he moved and put his arms around me from behind, pulling me into a tight embrace and I rested against him.  
  
All six of us fought for our forbidden desires. Fought to set them free. Surrounded with warmth and love... we had everything we needed. Forever.  
  
  
THE END


End file.
